AlexI was a pouty mess. I hated feeling down. It wasn’t a feeling I appreciated. I knew some people liked to wallow in their misery and stuff their faces with ice cream while watching a sappy movie, but that wasn’t me. I was more of a pull up the boots and the big girl panties and move on. I had to stay moving. I could outrun the sadness if I just stayed busy. At least, that was what I had liked to think.My method of outrunning the feelings that came with being all alone wasn’t working. The melancholy had caught up to me and was pulling me down fast. My first reaction to the feeling of being sucked into a pit of sadness was to look for a job. I reached out to a couple of the farms that had contacted me, letting them know I was available.I was waiting to hear back from one of them. I was confident I would, but it wasn’t happening fast enough. The house was too small for me. I was going stir crazy, caught up in a sea of feelings that were very uncomfortable.When I heard the knock on
AlexI sighed. “I know, but I don’t want to give him my heart only to have him leave. I don’t want that kind of misery. I nursed you through several of those breakups. You were a mess.”She shrugged. “That’s because I give my heart to anyone. I’m not very discerning. You and I are like yin and yang. You are extremely guarded. You tell no one anything and are very closed up. I’m an open book. I give my heart freely.”“And how’s that working out for you?” I asked dryly.She laughed. “I could ask you the same question. How’s it working on your end of things?”“I get your point. For the record, I did open up to him. I told him about my parents.”Her eyes went wide. “You did?”I nodded. “I did. He told me about his late wife. We’ve both got some baggage. We’re both a little nervous about getting into something. At least, I think he was, but now not so much. I’m not sure what he expects from me. What if I can’t live up to what he wants me to be? What if I fail him? Fail Oliver?”“Alex, you
DamionI got up early, butterflies in my stomach that left me feeling anxious. My life was going to change, which meant Oliver’s life would change. I wanted to make him a nice breakfast. It would make the news I had to tell him a little easier for him to handle. I hoped anyway. I had held off on saying anything until I knew for sure. I had gotten the email late last night. Things were happening and they were happening fast. I figured there was no point in dragging anything out. It was like pulling off a band-aid in one fell swoop. I preferred to get it over with, rather than let the pain and suffering linger.I flipped the pancake in the pan, checked it and slid it onto a plate. “Oliver, breakfast is ready,” I announced.I was waiting for him to tell me it was too early. I was about twenty minutes ahead of our regular schedule. I wanted to give us some time to talk and answer any questions he had about our new plan. I had woken him up early and got him moving. I was glad he was a morn
DamionI needed my nights and weekends free to be with Oliver and hopefully a girlfriend and maybe one day, a wife. It was going to be extremely difficult to leave Alex behind, but with time, it would get easier. I needed someone who was ready to settle down. She wasn’t that person. I cared for her, and I appreciated what we had, but it wasn’t meant to last.“I don’t want to go,” Oliver said after taking a few more bites. “I like it here. I want to stay.”I smiled. “I know you like it here, but we have to go.”“But, Dad,” he whined. “I don’t want to.”“I promise things will be different. I will be home more often. We’ll spend more time together.”He tossed his fork onto his plate and pushed it away. “I don’t want to go.”I could see the tears in his eyes and hated that I had to do it to him. “I know. I get it. I like it here too, but it isn’t the place for us. I know it’s hard for you to understand, but one day, you will. You’ll understand and things will be better.”He got up from th
AlexI watched him approach the porch. He didn’t look happy to see me. It wasn’t exactly the reception I had expected or hoped for. The last time we had been on the porch, the chemistry and sexual sizzle between us had been off the charts. There was none of that now. His jaw was set as he climbed onto the porch, his gaze holding mine.“Hi,” I said with a small smile.“Hi.”“Can we talk?” I asked.He shrugged. “I suppose.”He made no move to sit down. It was a very clear signal he didn’t want me to stay. “Would you like to sit down?” I asked, feeling a little ridiculous considering it was his porch.He flopped down. “What is it?”“Damion, I can tell you’re mad. I’m sorry.”“It doesn’t matter.”“It does matter.”“Not really.”I sighed. He was going to make this difficult. “I—”“Before you say anything, I should tell you I spoke with Harvey,” he said.I nodded. “Okay. And?”“He told me you were going to inherit the farm if I didn’t come back,” he said, his eyes hard as he looked at me.“
Alex“Yes. My old boss called, and they want me back. They are willing to pay to get me there. It’s an offer I can’t refuse. I’ve already told Oliver we’re going back as soon as the school year is over, or close to it.”“You’re just going to get up and leave again?”“It’s not again,” he snapped. “When I left here thirteen years ago, I never promised I would be back.”“Sure seems like you like the idea of being a ping-pong ball.”“I don’t think you really have a lot of room to judge in this situation,” he said, the vein on the side of his neck becoming more pronounced. “This is my life. You don’t want to be a part of it, so I really don’t know why I’m telling you anything.”He got up and stomped into the house. I was not going to let him walk away that easy. I followed him inside, yanking the screen door so hard I damn near pulled it off its hinges.“Cut and run,” I said. “Isn’t that what you accused me of?”“No, I think you said that,” he said, opening a drawer in an old desk. He pull
DamionI was mentally and physically exhausted. I couldn’t seem to make a right move. Every choice I made ended up being the wrong one. It was taxing my psyche and making it impossible for me to think straight. I kept hopping back and forth over the same fence looking for greener grass only to find it was all dry.I put my head in my hands, my elbows resting on my desk in my old office, and groaned. “What the fuck?” I muttered. “What in the actual fuck?”I couldn’t believe I had missed my job. I hated it. I hated all of it. I yanked at the tie around my neck, pulling it down and giving myself some room to breathe. I hated the tie. I hated the suit jacket that seemed to be tighter than usual. I hated the office with very little sunshine and no fresh air. New York stunk. I hadn’t realized it stunk until we had walked out of the hotel we were still staying at while I searched for a townhouse.I had found several apartments that were close to work, but Oliver had dug in. He wanted a backy
DamionDid I really come back to deal with shit like this? I didn’t know why I thought things were going to be any different. It was the same old shit. I was getting paid a lot more, but I wasn’t sure it was worth it. I was miserable. I was unhappy and the thought of living the rest of my days feeling like that was not appealing.I did my homework on the situation, cringing as I read through the last issue. It was a nightmare. I was embarrassed to have my name attached to the damn thing. I had nothing to do with it, but my name was still in the fine print. That was something else that hadn’t been taken care of.“I’m leaving,” I said to my assistant as I walked out of my office.Her brows shot up. “Already?”“It’s four. Part of my agreement to come back included me getting out of here by four every day so I can pick up my son.”“Okay. I’ll make a note of that.”I didn’t say anything else. I left the office without saying a word to the employees still diligently working. Since I had bee