Peeling my eyes open, I don't move, instead assessing my body. It's become my normal. I'm pleased to discover warmth, I'm comfortable, I'm nauseous, but what else is new? I'll take a little stomach churning over actually having to run for a bucket anyway.Overall, though, this isn't terrible. I'm not sure what the doctor put in that IV, but it made a huge difference in how I feel. I was hooked to it for a few hours before they deemed me well enough to go home with the understanding that I take today off at minimum. Tomorrow is still to be determined.The bed dips next to me, and I roll over to see my husband situating himself against the headboard, long legs stretched out and crossed at the ankles."What are you doing here?" I question. Usually, I wake to an empty house because of our opposite schedules. Needless to say I'm surprised to see him casually lounging around. "Shouldn't you be at practice?""I took the day off." He grabs the remote off the nightstand and flips the TV on.Tuc
Sitting up on his knees and turning his whole body to face me, the flailing contestant is long forgotten. Rowen shifts so he can put both his hands on my bump and waits. He doesn't have to wait long to feel the soft nudge coming from inside me.Rowen's breath hitches. "Whoa. That's…wow."Moving his hand with mine, I put it in a different spot and press down harder. Sure enough, our little future athlete takes aim and kicks the right spot."Holy shit, Tiffany. That's incredible. Is he… he's really strong, isn't he?"I belt out a laugh, my husband never moving or taking his eyes off my mid-section. "You remember what you do for a living, right? And what I used to do for fun? He's just practicing his corner shot.""Yeah he is."Another soft push and then we wait. And wait. But nothing else happens. "I think he fell asleep," I remark, glancing back up at the television. The underdog contestant seems to have made a comeback while we were distracted, painting over some sort of latex bald ca
Closing the door behind me, I try not to intrude on the quiet. It's been hell getting back to Houston.First, our flight was delayed due to weather, then our team bus broke down, so we ended up getting home way later than anticipated. After five days away, everyone was antsy to get home. Maybe antsy is the wrong word. Cranky is more like it. Glancing at the clock to see it's three-sixteen on the dot, I tiptoe my way to the bedroom. I need a quick shower to wash the travel off me, then I'll be wrapping my body around my wife. Man, I've missed her.When I cross the threshold into the room, though, I stop. This is not what I expected to find happening in my bedroom, with my wife of all people. My almost six-month-pregnant wife."Um, what are you doing?" I'm thoroughly confused as to why she's jumping up and down in the middle of the night, one hand holding her belly in place."What does it look like I'm doing?" she says through her exertion as one arm raises and lowers."It looks like yo
The realness of the situation hits me out of nowhere again, making me stumble on my feet enough that I have to grab the wall. I'm going to be a dadaí. Shaking my head, I smile at the thought that at times like this I feel a weird sense of joy run through my whole body. It sounds crazy, but it happens every once in a while. Finally regaining my balance, I dry off. Forget clothes. I'm exhausted. I'm clean. And I need to hold my wife immediately. The drive to get to her after being away so long is almost primal. And not just for sex. Of course, that's on my mind. But my higher reasoning also knows she needs her sleep. Finally, I get to crawl under the covers with her. Tiffany rolls over and snuggles into me before I even settle. It takes a second to get us both situated comfortably, but then my entire body relaxes into the mattress. I don't truly understand how tired I am until that sweet moment when all my muscles go slack. Almost immediately, my brain shuts off and I begin to fall und
I miss going out. Not to parties or anything special. Just going out in general. To dinner or a concert or Discovery Green to hang out. It's something Rowen and I used to do all the time when our schedules coordinated.Tonight is a rare night that we're both off work and commitment free, but instead of going anywhere, we're sitting on the couch binge watching FaceOff. Again. As much as I enjoy our newest favorite show, I'm restless. We've done this for too many weeks in a row.Sighing, I lay my head back on the couch and drop my hand onto my now protruding belly. It seems like it took forever to finally start showing, to the point that I was starting to question if there was really a baby in there or not. But there's no hiding it now. Nor do I fit in any of my clothes. I never got to wear my new silk sundress before I grew out of it. Stupid, fucking, giant boobs."What's wrong," Rowen asks, tossing another piece of popcorn into his mouth. For a professional athlete, he eats terrible so
Of all the people I expected to run into, Santos and Mariana and their kids are not it. But here they are, the entire DeLaGuajardo family right in front of us, all of us staring at each other in awkward silence. In a defensive move, Rowen immediately reaches for me and tucks me under his arm. I appreciate the gesture because I don't know what to do.I'm glad to see them together. I know how much Santos loves his family. But I was an active participant in that family breaking apart. It was all in the past, and I've forgiven myself as much as I can, but this is unexpected and, well, uncomfortable.I brace myself, expecting to be berated or maybe even punched. But Mariana does the last thing I expect her to do. She takes a big breath and says, "Pampers Swaddlers are really good when they're first born. Do you guys have a Sam's Club membership?"Shock runs through me. Is she having a civil conversation? After everything she went through? Everything I helped put her through? I'm stunned, bu
When my parents asked if we were free today, I thought they meant to come over to their new house, do a little light unpacking, have some dinner. I should have known better. Instead, I got suckered into unpacking an entire moving van because my dad is too cheap to hire a moving company. I lived with the man and his cheapskate ways for eighteen years. Again, I should have seen it coming.But I didn't. Now here I stand, holding one end of the world's heaviest couch, while my dad yells at me."Lift with your legs, boyo! Turn it more on the side.""I can't, Da," I argue and try to adjust to get a better grasp on it. "If I turn it more, it'll be upside down.""Pah! Don't argue. Just turn it."A huge clap of thunder breaks up our arguing, and we simultaneously glance at the ominous clouds in the sky.Looking back at me, he tacks on, "And hurry! I don't want me couch rained on." Easy for him to say. At least he's inside the house. It's my ass that is stuck outside and about to get drenched.
She punches me in the arm playfully. "Shut up. He's going to be beautiful."I'd settle for manly or handsome. Maybe has a great bend in his kick. But her assessment will work too.My dad walks back in the room, heading toward a tool box I didn't notice was on the floor. "That didn't take long.""The shelf didn't come with anchors for the wall. What kind of product that's supposed to hang doesn't come with the supplies to make it happen? Daoine dúr."Tiffany giggles at his bitching. "What did he say?" she whispers."He's dropping curses over whoever packed the box."She giggles again, this time covering her mouth with her hand. I don't get it, but she still thinks it's hilarious when he gets all riled up. We're still new enough in our relationship that we haven't had a bunch of time to get to know my parents as a couple, but I have a feeling holidays are going to be interesting when these two get on a roll.Da rats around for a few minutes longer until a huge clap of thunder makes him
The snick of the lock unlatching when I wave my key fob in front of the door is the first real sign that life is going back to normal. Well, as normal as life can be after a new little human has come into the world. But as I step through the door and into the newsroom, I realize nothing has changed. The scanners are still squawking. Reporters are still making calls and typing. Televisions still glow with every local station and CNN ready to be monitored. The only difference is the person at the assignment desk."Hi Tom," I greet as I grab a huge stack of mail I'll need to sort through upstairs. There's too much to go through down here."Tiffany." He tips his head at me and goes back to his business. Tom took over for Caleb when he moved upstairs. He's a little older than everyone else in the newsroom. His hair and neatly trimmed beard are almost gray. He's pleasant enough, just sticks to himself. We definitely don't have the same kind of rapport Caleb and I use to have.That also mean
Rowen makes sure we're all settled before kissing me on the top of the head and throwing on his sweats. "What do you want to eat? My mam brought bangers and mash.""I'll leave that for you," I joke, knowing it's his favorite. "But do we still have any of that grilled chicken salad? I don't know why but it sounds really good.""Yep. I'll go grab it for you."The last three months have been an adjustment, but overall, it's gone really well. Cace is a great baby, but I didn't expect anything less with him being Rowen's child. Well, that's not exactly true. A part of me always remembered Ryan is his grandfather, so I know there's some ornery in there waiting to come out. But for the most part, he's very docile. Cries when he's hungry, fusses when he's wet, but otherwise even-tempered. And my in-laws have been wonderful. Sure, the men argue all the time about the safest way to hold the baby or the best cleaning products. Denise and I just laugh at the ridiculousness and let them hash it ou
"Keep doing that," I moan, grabbing Rowen's hair and pulling him closer to my core. His tongue still does magical things to my lady parts and today, he's going to town. Licking, nipping, and sucking as he inserts two fingers inside me, hitting just the right spot. "Oh, that's it. Right there… ohgod…"My orgasm hits me fast and hard, just the way I like it these days. He continues to suck on my clit as the waves overtake me, riding me to that sated feeling I love. But he's not done yet.As soon as I've come back down to earth, he kisses up my body, paying special attention to the scar that now mars my abdomen. When I look at my stomach, I see flabby skin that hasn't tightened up yet and a knife wound. But Rowen tells me it's beautiful. That it's a reminder of the sacrifice I made to give him the best gift he's ever received - our son. Coming from anyone else, I'd say they were full of shit. But coming from Rowen, I know he means every word. Because of it, I still feel beautiful. It al
"I know you'll be here when you can, Mom," I say through FaceTime on my phone. "Really, all we're going to do for the next few weeks is sleep and eat anyway. Maybe bathe."Stroking the top of my son's head, I watch as he suckles on my breast. Yes, the dull pain of breastfeeding is there, but that doesn't take away the surreal feeling of being a new mom. It's amazing."I know." My mom sighs. "I'm just mad at myself. Of all the times to fall down some steps and break an ankle, this is the worst."I giggle lightly. "I still can't believe you did it at the gym.""And right after my kickboxing class too! I had just shown everyone what a badass I am, and three steps took me out.""Any muggers with ill intentions better beware of running into you in a back alley. Unless there are stairs involved." "Well, hopefully in the next few weeks, the doctor will clear me for travel. Then I'll be on the first plane there.""Sounds good to me." Baby Cace squeaks and pulls away from my breast, nuzzling h
The thoughts are overwhelming. I've never been this happy in my life, and I've only seen him for a split second. Lifting my head, I look around trying to catch another glimpse. Apparently, I'm not as subtle as I think I am."Would you like to see your son? You can go over there."Nodding, I stand up and follow the person over to a small table where my son is lying down, clearly unhappy by being poked and prodded. I don't blame him. I wouldn't like if all my glory was on display in front of these strangers either."Can I… can I touch him?" I ask tentatively, not sure what I'm allowed to do right now."Absolutely," the person says. "And talk to him. Babies like familiar voices."Slowly, I get closer, still in awe that I'm looking at my son. My son. It feels like I'm walking through a dream. Reaching down, I touch his tiny hand which immediately stretches and grabs my finger. The contact makes me suck in a breath. He's real. This is real. It's not a dream at all."Hello there, mo mhac. I'
I have dreamed about this day for months. Thought about every scenario on how it could happen. Planned for any situation. Prepared myself in every possible way.Except this one.Not one part of me anticipated I'd be standing in the hallway of the hospital wearing drab green scrubs with a matching surgical cap, waiting to join my wife in an operating room. And yet here I am, and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't more nervous than I've ever been in my life.It's not just the operation. Yes, that is my immediate concern. As much as I like Dr. Hermann, he's getting ready to cut Tiffany open and pull our son out through a gaping wound. I'm sure there's more to it than that, but it basically boils down to that, and it's scary. What if he cuts the wrong part and he can't stop the bleeding? What if he accidentally cuts my child? What if she gets a major infection? The horrific possibilities are terrifying.Taking a breath to refocus my thoughts, I try to remember all the positives. Tiffany won't
I can practically feel his surprise when he shifts, situating us face-to-face. Thankfully, my doctor and my father-in-law have started chatting again, so Rowen and I can have some privacy. "Tiffany, this is just a change in the play. You of all people know how easily it can happen. I know this isn't soccer, but it's not that different. We go into every match with a plan, but sometimes it doesn't go like we expected. There's an injury or a new goalie." I smirk at his reference to the issues the team had early in the season. "The objective is always the same, but how we get there doesn't matter as long as we do. It's the same thing here. It doesn't matter how he gets here as much as it matters that it happens safely for both of you."I sniff again, but my tears have all but dried up. "We've been deflected."He nods and smiles at me. "Exactly. It's a change of play. But in the end, when we're holding him and taking care of him, we'll forget about everything except that we won."I chuckle
A low murmuring pulls me from sleep. I know it's only been a couple hours, but I feel so much better than I did. Damn that epidural for being as amazing as everyone said it would be.Peeling my eyes open, I roll slightly onto my back to see Dr. Hermann and Ryan chatting like old friends. A few seconds of eavesdropping and I finally catch the source of their newfound connection - Ireland. Apparently, Dr. Hermann spent a summer backpacking through Europe and caught a couple games when Ryan was in his prime and playing in front of his hometown fans. I'm sure the tales are tall right now, but at least their relaxed chatter means nothing wrong is happening on my side of the room.Glancing around, I finally catch sight of my husband who is sleeping soundly. I'm glad to see him getting some rest. He's been trying so hard to be strong for me. It's not gone unnoticed. But at last count he'd been awake for thirty hours. It was wearing on him."Ah, iníon sa dlí, yer awake."Ryan steps toward me a
Another eight hours. Another one centimeter dilated. Almost. I may be rounding up out of my own feeling of desperation. This entire experience is not at all like I expected. Not that I knew what was supposed to happen. Sure, we'd taken a birthing class one Saturday, but that was months ago when our schedules allowed us both to be there. And it never told us what would happen if Tiffany's body refused to do what it should. At least Tiffany's sleeping now. About four hours after the Pitocin began, she started crying, saying she couldn't do it anymore. She'd been awake for almost twenty-four hours and had been in some form of labor for over half of it. Plus, once the drugs kicked in, her contractions went from being painful to downright excruciating. It didn't take much convincing for her to finally decide to have the epidural. But it did take my Mam physically moving me out of the way to help her through all her fears - fear of a needle in her spine, fear of the drugs hurting the baby,