Starting of remorse

I’d had enough. I pulled my arm from Gina’s grip and ran out of the hotel to head back to the mansion. And for once, I didn’t look back.

Though I had been married to Alessandro for three years, I’d never felt like a part of the Devonte family. Meanwhile, I had left my family and even changed my surname to be a simple girl for Alessandro. In turn, he never cared nor stood up for me when his family members disrespected and insulted me, when they referred to me as a nobody and called me names.

Through it all, I never revealed my real identity because I didn’t want to gain Alessandro’s love just because my last name was Edwards, just because I was heiress to the E. Shine Jewelers fortune, one of the most famous designed brands in the world. No, I wanted him to love me for me.

So I never complained. Instead, I let my tears fall silently, always hoping Alessandro would one day change and accept me as his wife. Yet he never appreciated me.

I tried to be everything to him, too. But it seemed the world only loved those who had a name and fame.

No one returned home that night. They all stayed in the hotel because it was planned, and no one cared to know why I wasn’t there, not even my husband.

I cried until my puffy eyes could cry no more and only woke when a servant knocked and informed me that Grandma Nina had asked to see me immediately. When I entered the living room, every family member was present, including my husband. He gave me a cold glare, while Grandma sat in the middle of the sofa like a queen.

“You called for me, Grandma?” I asked politely. After all, she was the elder of the family.

“Oh, yes, madame. Finally, you are awake,” she said in a mocking tone.

In order not to hurt her, I lowered my eyes. “I am sorry, grandma. Last night—”

“Oh, shut your excuses,” she said, her voice cold. “I’m not here for your dumb explanation. How dare you hurt my Camilla?”

Even after tolerating every harsh word and deed for three years, his ex was closer to his family than I could ever be. What irony. “Grandma, I–I didn’t—”

“How dare you!” Disgust roiled in her eyes. “I never forget how you shamelessly pretended to be pregnant years ago to force my Aless to marry you! I thought with time you would realize your fault. But no. You get more vicious by the day. An ordinary girl like you should not be with Alessandro. You are not up to the standards of the Devonte family. Still, we keep tolerating you. And for what? When, instead of appreciating our kindness, you keep disrespecting us?”

Kind? Tolerating? Seriously? I mean... Really?

“Grandma, don’t be angry,” Alessandro said, walking to her. “Camilla’s injuries are nothing serious. Let me take you to your room to rest.”

Finally, he seemed to intervene for me. Could this be real?

"Shouldn’t she be punished?" Aunt Gina asked. “We can’t just let it go like that, can we?”

Like a punishment was necessary. Seriously? I thought about telling them about my pregnancy.

Before I could decide, Grandma said, “Gina’s right. Since she won’t admit her mistake, let her kneel outside. Only when she knows she’s wrong can she get up.”

I felt nothing and briefly wondered why. But then, what else could I expect after three years with the Devonte family.

It wasn’t even my fault, and I was to receive punishment. I could have easily stopped them, but I didn’t. From the depth of my heart, I still wanted my husband to do that for me. So I bowed to grandma, then walked out of the mansion and knelt before the entrance, accepting the punishment.

While there, I realized the many mistakes I’d made. The man I married never respected me. Why would others? Once, I was the equivalent of a princess in a mansion, but I had accepted a life lower than that of a servant.

A steady trail of tears left my eyes under the blazing sun. After some time, I checked my wristwatch. I had been kneeling for an hour, and my knees were burning like hell. Surely, they would be bruised. And my stomach was growling.

But it didn’t hurt much physically when my soul bled already.

I kept hoping Alessandro might come and take me away. Maybe he would feel pity and realize my love for him. Seeing me like this, maybe his cold heart would melt?

More time passed and my heart sank. Then a shadow covered me. I looked up, and my heart rose once again and beat excitedly when I saw Alessandro standing before me with an umbrella.

But then he said, “Why don’t you admit your mistake?” shattering my excitement and tearing my hopes to shreds.

“I didn’t push her, Alessandro,” I replied with boiling anger, not knowing if I was more angry with him or with myself.

“Don’t lie, Victoria. I saw it with my own eyes.”

Saw it with your own eyes? Yeah, you always see everything except my love and truth. A bitterness coiled in my mind as my teeth gritted together. I gulped the lump in my throat. “What you saw is not the truth, Alessandro. Why don’t you trust me?”

He sneered bitterly. “Trust you? Is there anything to trust in you? Remember how hard you tried to get me to sleep with you in the first place? Or that you pretended to be pregnant to marry me?”

A tear slipped from my eyes.  “All right. If these things are bothering you, Alessandro, then I can explain. I—”

“Enough!” He raised his hand, stopping me. “I am not here to hear your lies. Get up and go apologize to Camilla.”

“Oh, so you’re here for Camilla?” I lowered my head and inhaled a deep breath, telling myself I needed to stop thinking about Alessandro. In his mind, there is only Camilla. Not you.

“Come on. Don’t waste time,” Alessandro urged me, restless and annoyed.

Annoyed with me when he should be annoyed for me.

“I won’t go,” I said firmly, avoiding his eyes so he wouldn’t see my tears.

“Fine,” Alessandro said, then turned and walked away.

I stood as he reached the entrance. “Alessandro,” I called, wanting to say the words I was struggling to say to him the most; I am pregnant. Not a lie anymore but a fucking truth.

He stopped and looked back. “Don’t waste time. Apologize.”

I didn’t know what happened in that second. But the way those words fell from his lips forced me to change my words and say something I never thought would come out of my mouth: “I want a divorce.”

His look of shock told me he never expected those words from me. “Do you know what you’re saying, Victoria?”

“I want a divorce,” I repeated. Though the decision had come suddenly, I felt relieved and certain after throwing those words at him.

Alessandro stared at me for several moments, then gave a curt nod. “Fine then. Remember not to regret that later.” He turned and left.

The tears I had been holding back fell in a torrent. I had never thought I would leave him. Now, I had decided to leave, even though I was bearing his child.

My hand protectively touched my belly as the world before me started spinning. Soon, my vision darkened, and I began to fall. A pair of arms grabbed me tightly before I hit the ground, then everything went black.