"So I am going to ask again, Alexis. Are you sure that everything is okay? Are you sure that you have everything glued together. Because it is okay if you do not, it does not make you any less of a person. It will not change the way that I think about you, neither will it change the way any one thinks about you. You have to know that you will be loved, and that you will be cherished, no matter how you feel. No matter the state of mind that you are in right now."
"There was always something about him that made me somewhat happy that there was someone else with me. Then I would know that I was not alone, then I would know that I had always had someone at my back, helping me. Guiding me through the struggles and through the hardships that life always bore me. I guess, I have never really been alone in the sense of things. That I have never really ever been where I was without someone always being there. Be that if it was Iisaih, Zee, Elijah. It was never without them, neither wa
So it has been a couple of days passed my chat with Anna. And it was clear that I still had to do everything that I was required to do. And that meant the talk, the speech in front of everyone that I was dreading more than anything. It was time, to do this speech, the speech that I was dreading, the speech that I knew that if I messed up then it would leave a lot of thoughts about me. Which would centralize around if I was fit, or worthy to hold up this, if I was the right pick for this. I would have said no, but then again. It was not as if I had a choice in the matter. Although, it made me wonder about a lot of things, it made me wonder about the lives that we all could have lived if someone else took my place. I mean, I know it was rare and that resources and finances and time was scarce, but would it not be worth it in the end? Would it not be worth it, if someone a lot more competent than me would take this upon themselves, I mean I knew what Anna was saying. I mean, I understo
I walked up further to the front of the stage, and I could feel the paper that I was currently holding in my hand shake, as in it was not the type of shake that would be easy to hide, it was clear and evident and very. very out there and it was that bad that I knew that I was struggling to keep myself still. I took a deep breath in and out, and then in again, thinking that would prove something, and hopefully that would calm me down. But to no avail, I felt myself trying to swallow down the upcoming bile that was raising steadily and rapidly in my throat. Come on, Alexis, come on you can do this. My eyes found Isaiaih's again as he gave me a small, encouraging smile, his blue eyes lightening up and he gave me a thumbs up. I smiled appreciably, and nodded, releasing the breath that I currently took in. I can do this. I know that I can.I looked down at the paper in front of me, and it was as if the words on the page started blurring and moving around everywhere. I was st
"Congrats, Alexis." I am so proud of you, Zee quickly engulfed me in a tight and quick hug, I almost felt as though I was suffocating, but if that was not enough to tell me how proud of me that she was, I really did not know what would. Right now, they decided conveniently, to hold an after party, as a sort of celebration for me, and the apparent hope that they now had, not as though I could be able to do everything by myself. It was not just solely and wholly me. It was not, and I do not think that it will ever be that. I had the help of Miss Smith, and everything surrounding that, without her, I do not think that I would have been able to reach this stage as I have done now. So, I have to give all my thanks and appreciation to her, and only her in my honest opinion. But they all insisted, and I would feel as though I was being ungrateful if I did not accept it. There was no teachers present, there was only agents, and soldiers, and Evan. Zee did the courtesy of collecting him from
There it was, the word vomit that was creeping up inside my throat, gear to escape, I knew that telling him the truth, and the end of things, would prove much greater than lying to him, just as I knew that the truth always had a nasty habit of leaking out, and against my better judgment, I knew against everything that I did, that the truth would eventually come out, whether I truly liked it or not. And I knew that deep down, there was nothing that scared me more than that. Nothing at all, so I took the deep dive, and I opened up emotionally, mentally and physically. I could tell that the heart was becoming very evident on my face because he looked at me, Isaiah looked at me, as if there was something deeper that he had to know. Both of his arms wrapped around my own, "Alexis." His voice dropped, the tone considerably lower than before, "What is the matter? Tell me, what is wrong?"I looked down, I could not bear anything in him to look him straight in his eyes, he lifted my h
"You can never keep your hands off what is someone else." I do not think there has ever been a time, and I mean there has never been a time, ever in my life that I have ever seen Isaiah look this angry, and he has had his fair bout of outbursts in his lifetime, it was almost painful to see him like, all because of me. I did not know what to do, even placing my hands on his chest to calm him down, was beginning to scare the living hell out of me, I did not know what to do. So, I did nothing, and just stood there. But, I still was acting as a barrier between Isaiah and Elijah.I turned over to Elijah, who did not look the slightest bit upset with me, he just gave me a small smile, when I mouth a quick sorry and in return, he gave me another small nod. He was not angry, but I knew that he should have been. I mean, I would, because yes, I said it so I could clear my conscience, but it did not mean that I did not just fracture and damage the relationship that they shared as
I was in Isaiah's room wrapped in his embrace, enjoying his warmth when Zee stormed in. Her eyes fueled with fury and there was a hint of something scared between them. My mind started racing rapidly, and the first thing that I could think of was Evan. I mean, Isaiah was okay, I was in his arms, and Zee would not the one to barge in like that for no good reason, especially with the expression she had on her face, right now.Instantly, I forced myself out of Isaiah's embrace, and looked at her straight in the eyes. I do not know what I was searching for, possibly any bad news about Evan, that could only be communicated through the eyes, before she told me out right. But I could not find anything, I mean the clear explanation was that she was trained to be able to effectively conceal her emotions, and she did it well. "What? What is it, Zee. Please tell me, tell me now.""Alexis, you have to come quickly. Miss Smith needs to see you. Now."My bre
She was silent for a while, but I knew that she heard me loud and clear, I could see the gears turning behind her eyes, and I saw all she wanted to know and to tell me, without her even needing to move her lips. There was fear and apprehension, but eventually, she nodded. "If that is what you want and that is what you wish for then, so be it."Isaiah was the first one to make a quick protest, "Are you actually kidding me right now. No." Abruptly he turned to me, "No, Alexis, no. You can not do this you are bringing yourself up for slaughter, and no one at all she be even saying something like that."Zee's hands rest on me, and I turned my attention towards her, "Alexis, Isaiah is right, this is nothing more than an execution on your part. You do not have to sacrifice yourself for us to live. That is not necessary, and it will never, ever be necessary." My eyes then met Elijah, sitting directly opposite me, and he just shook his head. Simple and slow. Side to side. Ther
Before Miss Smith- Anna could say anything else, Isaiah quickly interjected himself, "No! This is not happening, I will not even let anyone entertain the idea." His hand grabbed mine and he squeezed it, hard, I turned to face him. His eyes said everything that I knew he was keeping locked in his heart. I knew that he could not break his composure, but I also knew that it was killing him that I would even think of something like this. For him, it was like I was leaving him, almost like a betrayal. But for me, it was more like a gift from me to him, it was a chance of a better life for him. "Alexis, why are you even thinking about doing this? Have we not been happy? Why would you want to throw it all away when we can find another way around this. It is not fair, please do not do this to me."I looked at him, as in really looked at him, and all I could gift him was a small smile. He would never understand, even if I told him, he would think that I was just doing it to fabricate
I looked at Elijah, then at Isaiah, the only thing that I could do was to look at all my friends with the utmost confusion that I could muster. What in the hell were they actually talking about? "What do you mean? Do not tell me that all of you concocted some other ridiculous plan about how you are going to save me? It is not going to work, there is no way that you guys could have come up with a plan in less than forty eight hours."I felt Isaiah's hand on mine first, as he looked at me, with the same amount of determination that he always has when it is regarding my life and well being. "But Alexis, what if we can, what if we can save you. Would you accept our help? Would you take that risk, for us, for me? Would you?" I looked at him, as in really looked at him, and I knew it, I just knew it deep down within me that he was not lying, he really was not. They have come up with a plan that is going to save me, I myself was not intent of dying, so if there was a way back,
He smiled, the stretch on his face pulled him in to a wide and bright smile. It was weird actually, I never really thought that I would have made a good wife, but I was more than willing to try for Isaiah, he was everything that I wanted and more. There was nothing that he could not say to me that I would not do for him, nothing. But I knew that I had to do this, not just for only him, but for me too. I had to do it, because if I did not, I am not entirely sure what hope our future had, and that fact was more scary than anything. "I love you, Isaiah. I really do."Although, I saw that hint of sadness crown his features, I could see in clear as day in his eyes that he loved me too, he loved me more than anything. And if there was something I was thankful for, it was most definitely that. He loved me, he loved at me as if I was this rare treasure, this rare jewel that he never thought in his life that he could gain a hold of, but here I was. In front of him, in his arms. Slowly
Before Miss Smith- Anna could say anything else, Isaiah quickly interjected himself, "No! This is not happening, I will not even let anyone entertain the idea." His hand grabbed mine and he squeezed it, hard, I turned to face him. His eyes said everything that I knew he was keeping locked in his heart. I knew that he could not break his composure, but I also knew that it was killing him that I would even think of something like this. For him, it was like I was leaving him, almost like a betrayal. But for me, it was more like a gift from me to him, it was a chance of a better life for him. "Alexis, why are you even thinking about doing this? Have we not been happy? Why would you want to throw it all away when we can find another way around this. It is not fair, please do not do this to me."I looked at him, as in really looked at him, and all I could gift him was a small smile. He would never understand, even if I told him, he would think that I was just doing it to fabricate
She was silent for a while, but I knew that she heard me loud and clear, I could see the gears turning behind her eyes, and I saw all she wanted to know and to tell me, without her even needing to move her lips. There was fear and apprehension, but eventually, she nodded. "If that is what you want and that is what you wish for then, so be it."Isaiah was the first one to make a quick protest, "Are you actually kidding me right now. No." Abruptly he turned to me, "No, Alexis, no. You can not do this you are bringing yourself up for slaughter, and no one at all she be even saying something like that."Zee's hands rest on me, and I turned my attention towards her, "Alexis, Isaiah is right, this is nothing more than an execution on your part. You do not have to sacrifice yourself for us to live. That is not necessary, and it will never, ever be necessary." My eyes then met Elijah, sitting directly opposite me, and he just shook his head. Simple and slow. Side to side. Ther
I was in Isaiah's room wrapped in his embrace, enjoying his warmth when Zee stormed in. Her eyes fueled with fury and there was a hint of something scared between them. My mind started racing rapidly, and the first thing that I could think of was Evan. I mean, Isaiah was okay, I was in his arms, and Zee would not the one to barge in like that for no good reason, especially with the expression she had on her face, right now.Instantly, I forced myself out of Isaiah's embrace, and looked at her straight in the eyes. I do not know what I was searching for, possibly any bad news about Evan, that could only be communicated through the eyes, before she told me out right. But I could not find anything, I mean the clear explanation was that she was trained to be able to effectively conceal her emotions, and she did it well. "What? What is it, Zee. Please tell me, tell me now.""Alexis, you have to come quickly. Miss Smith needs to see you. Now."My bre
"You can never keep your hands off what is someone else." I do not think there has ever been a time, and I mean there has never been a time, ever in my life that I have ever seen Isaiah look this angry, and he has had his fair bout of outbursts in his lifetime, it was almost painful to see him like, all because of me. I did not know what to do, even placing my hands on his chest to calm him down, was beginning to scare the living hell out of me, I did not know what to do. So, I did nothing, and just stood there. But, I still was acting as a barrier between Isaiah and Elijah.I turned over to Elijah, who did not look the slightest bit upset with me, he just gave me a small smile, when I mouth a quick sorry and in return, he gave me another small nod. He was not angry, but I knew that he should have been. I mean, I would, because yes, I said it so I could clear my conscience, but it did not mean that I did not just fracture and damage the relationship that they shared as
There it was, the word vomit that was creeping up inside my throat, gear to escape, I knew that telling him the truth, and the end of things, would prove much greater than lying to him, just as I knew that the truth always had a nasty habit of leaking out, and against my better judgment, I knew against everything that I did, that the truth would eventually come out, whether I truly liked it or not. And I knew that deep down, there was nothing that scared me more than that. Nothing at all, so I took the deep dive, and I opened up emotionally, mentally and physically. I could tell that the heart was becoming very evident on my face because he looked at me, Isaiah looked at me, as if there was something deeper that he had to know. Both of his arms wrapped around my own, "Alexis." His voice dropped, the tone considerably lower than before, "What is the matter? Tell me, what is wrong?"I looked down, I could not bear anything in him to look him straight in his eyes, he lifted my h
"Congrats, Alexis." I am so proud of you, Zee quickly engulfed me in a tight and quick hug, I almost felt as though I was suffocating, but if that was not enough to tell me how proud of me that she was, I really did not know what would. Right now, they decided conveniently, to hold an after party, as a sort of celebration for me, and the apparent hope that they now had, not as though I could be able to do everything by myself. It was not just solely and wholly me. It was not, and I do not think that it will ever be that. I had the help of Miss Smith, and everything surrounding that, without her, I do not think that I would have been able to reach this stage as I have done now. So, I have to give all my thanks and appreciation to her, and only her in my honest opinion. But they all insisted, and I would feel as though I was being ungrateful if I did not accept it. There was no teachers present, there was only agents, and soldiers, and Evan. Zee did the courtesy of collecting him from
I walked up further to the front of the stage, and I could feel the paper that I was currently holding in my hand shake, as in it was not the type of shake that would be easy to hide, it was clear and evident and very. very out there and it was that bad that I knew that I was struggling to keep myself still. I took a deep breath in and out, and then in again, thinking that would prove something, and hopefully that would calm me down. But to no avail, I felt myself trying to swallow down the upcoming bile that was raising steadily and rapidly in my throat. Come on, Alexis, come on you can do this. My eyes found Isaiaih's again as he gave me a small, encouraging smile, his blue eyes lightening up and he gave me a thumbs up. I smiled appreciably, and nodded, releasing the breath that I currently took in. I can do this. I know that I can.I looked down at the paper in front of me, and it was as if the words on the page started blurring and moving around everywhere. I was st