CHAPTER TWO

LUCA

Lily leads the way, we're running on the grass to the back of the buildings and further down, I know the road, it's so familiar from all the times we had run down since she was ten and I was eighteen.. We're going to our favorite spot - the wishing lake. I'm out of breath by the time we reach the lake, for the last one year when Lily was gone, I never came down here, I stayed in my mansion and let the demons from my past eat me alive with endless taunting and nightmares.

I'm sitting beneath the blossoming groove and leaning my back against it's branch with my legs spread wide pulling Lily down to sit between my legs. She flashes me smile as she sits down with me, pressing her back against my chest and tucking her head against my neck. I wrap my arm across her chest, holding her tight, like we always do. Only now it feels different, her ass is larger and with the way she's sitting, I'm feeling a tingling in my pants.

She talks non-stop about her vacation experience. She talks about boys, and boys and boys and I hate it.

"Tiffany has invited me to a party tomorrow, she told me to dress hot, hopefully I will get my first kiss tomorrow." Tiffany is Lily's best friend, they have been friends since preschool.

"First kiss?" My voice rises in shock. I could have sworn she's had like a thousand kisses already. Are boys her age blind or what?

"Yes. I haven't had my first real kiss yet, all the girls my age has. I'm eighteen already if I don't have my first kiss now, no boy may ever kiss me again."

What sort of logic is that? "That's not true. And you're 17 not 18." I correct her.

"I will be eighteen in a few months." She folds her hands on her waist. "Tessa had her first kiss before she was eighteen. Juliet had her first kiss before she was eighteen..."

I'm lost "who are those?"

She groans. "They are characters from the books I read."

Oh. I totally forget Lily was a hopeless romantic, a huge fan of rom com. I've watched her and her best friend fantasied about their knights in shining armor all their lives. "Why haven't you had your first kiss yet. Is it that all the boys your age are blind or is there a problem with you?"

She moves slightly between my leg so she's slightly facing me, and I feel the tingling sensation in my pants grow wild. "All the boys my age are boring. My first kiss has to be special, with someone that gives me the chills, and burns. And the setting has to be special."

She tilts her head to the side and press her fingers on her lips as if she's thinking. "Like under the rain, or with flowers dropping from the sky." She starts laughing. "I remember one time a boy in my school who's been talking with me for only a week tried kissing me in the hallway. In the hallway." She says the words with obvious disgust. "I nearly had a panic attack."

I make a silly comment about her romantic fantasies which cause her to ask me what my first kiss was like. "I don't remember." I lie. I remember exactly what my kiss was like, but I just don't want to tell her. My first kiss was with a woman thrice my age when I was fourteen. It was forceful and harsh. I've never enjoyed kissing since then, I only did it as a preparatory to the real deal, which is sex!

"I don't even know how to kiss. I know I'm going to make a mess of myself if someone tries to kiss me. Or..." She pause and stare at me. "I could get kissing lessons from a professional."

Kissing lessons? Is that a thing? And why is she staring at me like that? No...no. I know what she's about to ask and the answer is no, or on a second thought...

She looks down at her thighs and starts twisting the tip of her dress in a weird way. Is she shy? "Will you be my first kiss. We've kissed a lot of times already but I mean a real kiss with tongues and all."

"Why me?" I'm flattered.

"Well I see the way all the girls in New York gush over you, so I know you're a kissing champion. And you think I don't want a taste of those lips?"

"Once I kiss you Lily, you will never kiss another man."

"Deal." she stretch her hands for a shake.

My facial features twist in annoyance and I push her outstretched hands away from my chest. "I'm not making a deal with you. I'm telling you that you will never be able to kiss any guy again!" You will crave the dark things that I only can give you.

"Are you that good?" She squeals, her blue eyes wide with excitement.

"No, I'm that bad." I will ruin you Lily.

She's still smiling. "we can make it a full-blown relationship lesson, to include sex and other romantic gestures."

"I don't date. Lily you're too young to fantasie such." I snap at her, my patience already failing me. "You are all sunshine and sweetness. You deserve a prince charming who will sweep you off your feet, not me. I'm too bad for you."

"Oops, guess I want the bad boy then."

I'm all about self pleasure, I keep taking and taking from the women who offer up their bodies to me as sacrifices to satisfy my dark fantasies. I never stop until they are as broken and damaged as me.

Katherine yell our names from their mansion for the umpteenth time. Lily stands up and jump from between my legs. I quickly rollover pressing my body on the grass inorder to hide the bulge in my pants.

She crooks a brow oblivious to my torment. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I will join you all later."

She turns and start running towards the buildings. I wait until her footsteps fade out and I hear the sound of a door opening and closing before resuming my siting position. I put my hands between my legs smoothing the bulge inorder to calm the ache. "Lily you're too young and naive to be the object of my dark fantasies."

"Hmmm. So yummy." Lily eats the cookie in her hands before digging into the lamp stew.

I give Katherine a knowing look. 'I told you so.' Even two year old Izzy makes baby sounds to tell her mother how delicious the cookie is. I'm sitting beside Lily and staring at her, she is just too pretty for me to take my eyes off her. She recounts her experience to her family. I notice the way Kate listens attentively with genuine interest.

As I watch them, there's a painful feeling within me, a painful awareness that Lily has the best mother in the world, and me, I had no mother. Well, I did have a mother, we lived together in the same house for 12years until she died...no mistake, until my deadbeat dad killed her.

But while we lived together, we never had the typical mother-son relationship. I wish she had seen me...known me. I wish she had heard me when I tried telling her....I wish she was not so consumed with regret and fears and absolute submission to her abusing husband. I wish she was Kate.

I wish she had a life.

"Are you okay." Lily leans in and whispers against my ears. I didn't realize my absence was noticed. I smile and squeeze her soft hands. "I'm fine." I lie.

It only takes someone that's known me forever to know when I'm lying. "You're not fine!" Lily shakes her head and fold her arms around her chest, her forehead furrows as she frowns and right now she looks like a mother who's about to scold a stubborn child. "What is wrong with you?" I must say it's kinda cute watching a seventeen year old scold me.

I shrug. "I'm just tired."

I stretch my hands tiredly and yawn. "Thank you all for such a hearty reception, but I must retire now." I stand up slowly and walk around the table to kiss Katherine on her forehead and hug Smith goodnight. Izzy is stretching her hands for a hug, and I can't ignore her, I lift her up and blow kisses all across her face which causes her to giggle.

And then there's Lily, mi eterna, I want to do more than hug her and blow kisses on her face. I want to give her a real deep kiss and take her to my bed...but I can't. I just can't. I bid her farewell the same way I did all the women in her family and exit.

I'm half way crossing their yard to my yard when I hear footsteps approaching, and then a small hand slip around my waist and press her soft body against mine. Lily. I spin her around and carry her in my arms, and continue walking. She's smiling from ear to ear. "Where are you taking me to?" She puts her arms around my neck and play with the tips of my hair.

I press my forehead on hers and breath in her scent. "You came running after me, where do you think I'm going?"