As he makes his way to the room door, the tears that have been threatening to consume my eyes and edge their way down my face come rolling with such great force. The raging anger that is suffocating every corner of my body lets loose like a beast. As far as my feet take me into the room, every single object that finds itself in my path shatters in pure brute force against the wall. The very place that we made love not so long ago, the very lingerie that I wore is ripped to shreds until there is nothing but small pieces of fabric scattered over the floor. The chair he sat on, finds its way through the room, there is glass shattering into fragments of nothing. I ram my fist with a hatred so raw in the mirror where he watched his reflection, hundreds of pieces cutting at the skin of my hand.
I lay complete destruction to everything that is and was a part of him until I can say that for now, for this minute, I shall be rid of any thought of him. And when he returns into the passa
I believe that we are whom we choose to be. Nobody is going to give you anything. You have got to go out and fight for it. Nobody knows what you want, expect you, and nobody will be as sorry as you if you don't get it. Nobody has the power to shatter your dreams but you. So do I believe that I should give up on my dream?That is the shit that kept running through my mind last night as I tried everything in my power not to think of Lucas.I have fought with every part of my being to get what I want. It takes a lot for me to give up. I can't just give up because of one thing that happened. I will keep on fighting and fighting until I have nothing left in me, and giving up is the only option left.That is the second load of shit that came to my mind. He was officially haunting not only me but my dreams as well. And to make things even somewhat worse is the fact that he has not, for once, stopped fucking phoning.Yes, the desire to pick up again was still the
…Lucas POV…Endless agony.That is what it feels like to be in my own presence.It is the third day now that she has not been back at the club, and it is absolutely killing me still. I know I need to get my head together, but I simply do not want to do it.WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME?This is a fucking mess. My perfect mess.Yes, Lucas Lucero’s heart is broken.I have to see her.So it is with the utmost determination that I can keep it together that I make my way to her home. With somewhat trembling hands, I softly knock on the door, yet it is Savanah that opens.“Hey, Lucas.”“Hey Savanah, is she here?”“She has not been out her room for three days now. Please talk to her.”With that I slowly walk over to her closed bedroom door. With one deep breath, I struggle to find my voice, “Lexi, can I come in.”There is no answer.
I remember that night I left.It is a memory that I play over in my head every day when the emotions come flooding back like a big tidal wave. It rolled over me like a storm and consumed every part of my being.I sat in the darkness of the room; I sat there questioning myself if I was about to make a big mistake. That night I was not sure if it was the right thing to leave Lucas the way that I had planned.I remember it as if it was just yesterday…I have learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking a moment, and making the best of it without knowing what's going to happen next.It hurts to let go. Sometimes it seems the harder you try to hold on to something or someone, the more it wants to get away. You feel like some kind of criminal for having felt, for having wanted for having wanted to be wanted. It confuses you be
…Lucas POV…Tonight I am in the same place I find myself every night. A place between excitement and danger. Where you live on the edge of pleasure, of pure adrenaline that flows through your veins. I love every minute of the thrill. I did not get to be here by playing safe or obeying the rules that society sets.Do I desire this lifestyle? Absolutely yes.So I sit and stare over the masses of people filling every corner of the room. This is such a cliché, a man like me sitting in such a familiar place as this. Well, here is where I thrive; here is where I rule. But my power goes beyond these doors, far into the city and beyond the state.Lucas Lucero shall be a name that you say softly over your lips, for if I catch you not respecting one syllable that flows from your mouth, you shall find yourself at the bottom where daylight does not flow.Tonight as with every other, I find myself surrounded by more women than I possi
…Lucas POV…Tortured bliss is what I felt as she ran circles through my mind last night as I sought the comfort of my bed. Never has one woman consumed my dreams in total ecstasy. I could feel her delicate fingers running down my sculpted chest as she laid spread over my body. In nothing but red lace, she filled the empty space that is now only meant for her. Even though my hands had the desire, I left her untouched. I want to take my time with her; I want to feel her presence and let her linger until she begs.Somehow I think that it is me that is going to do the begging. I will count the seconds as I patiently wait to explore her body and soul. I want her to not only be with me; I want us to become as one. She shall be the one that will be Lucas Lucero's undoing.So with what can only be described as endless hours, I have been counting the seconds as they crawled in anticipation, I find myself waiting for
…Lucas POV…Lexi, she is like the song to a thousand melodies as I repeat the beauty of her name over in endless circles of my tortured mind. I have not seen the beauty that captivates my soul for what shall now be the third night in a row. The irises of my now bleeding eyes have scanned the floor endlessly for her return, yet she has made no appearance. This settles a rather deep worry in my heart, have I scared the fragile delicate angel that she is away?This shall be one of the many things that Lucas Lucero is so known for, I cannot and have never been able to keep the same woman on my arm for much longer than a week at the most. It is not that I have never desired such a thing, I am simply not capable of commitment in any way or form. Now give me the power of the most feared man in this state and beyond, then I gladly show you my commitment beyond compare. Place a beauty on my arm and tell me to desire the one thing I do not know how to
…Lucas POV…As I stretch every inch of my perfect physique, there are long elegant fingers that start running down every crevice of my sculpted chest. Only but one thought comes to mind.Who the fuck did I bring home last night?With a very fearful heart, I catch a glance at the blonde lying next to me. She is young, a complete goddess in her own right, with curves so hot that you can melt butter on her skin. I can honestly say that I do not remember bringing her home, and what is even far more upsetting to this mind is did I live up to my reputation.So after finding the words that come trembling from my lips, I lean in closer and whisper in her ear, “How did you end up in my bed?”She is immediately taken aback, feeling somewhat, yet not truly, but insulted, “Can you not remember bringing me home?”“Well,” I hesitate for a brief few seconds as I start looking for a way out of this very awkw
They say that you can’t push back a wave.Well, I am standing on the beach about to be pummelled.If I had known that day that I was going to break, I would have chosen differently. I could have prevented it all together; I would have. Through everything, I did the best that I could to stay alive.It was lurking in the darkness, just waiting to strike and make itself known.It took my dreams and left my life in pieces.It was like a shadow that clung to me every day. A companion that I have had for years now.I fell so hard and so fast that I had to be hospitalized for a week.Type one, rapid cycling with moods congruent psychosis, which apparently is a devastating and severe form of Bipolar Disorder.They told me that I had a mixed episode, which is dangerous. It has a tremendously high suicide risk, higher than a major de
...Lucas POV...The day has finally arrived.Today the babies are born.Lexi is completely petrified, pacing the room as she is trying to get into her hospital gown. She has been going to see this doctor, but to me, it does not seem that there is any approvement. Now, I have asked her and the doctor what is going on, but neither of them wants to tell me. And as for Tina, Lexi has not told her either.Now she is here working herself up, and believe me; I ain't the one telling a pregnant woman that is about to give birth to calm down. Well, not that she would listen because what I say really does not count, for she does keep on reminding me that we have separated. She does not want to understand my perspective, and I don't know what is wrong with her. At this rate, it is not helping us both.So once she has put on that godawful hospital gown, the nurses come to push her bed through to the operating theatre. Not once does she hold my hand as we move t
...Lexi POV...The things you go through now, the heartache and the pain, the smiles and the laughter, prepares you for your fate, for your destiny. All the if's, the why's, the will's and want's, brings you what you ask for. So when you ask for something, make sure to be clear, or you may land with something you asked for but did not really want. If you the lucky few, you will get what you asked for but receive a whole lot more, a whole lot that you did not expect but that you realize you actually wanted.Never did I know what love is, let alone being in love. I never thought anyone would ever make me smile, laugh and capture my heart. Never did I think I will fall in love with the most unexpected person at the most unexpected time. Whether it was fate or karma, love found me, and I found love.My journey has come far; at times, I did not understand it, and at times it was really hard. My love was questioned, and my patience tested. I have learned that people a
…Lexi POV…We have been planning for this for almost a day; I have been waiting for it just a slight bit longer. This is the day that dreams are made of. It should be the happiest day of my life.I have dressed for the part, a classic white princess dress with a modern twist, a beaded lace bodice with a thin beaded belt, a dreamy and voluminous tulle skirt that gorgeously flares out underneath. My porcelain skin is composed to perfection, and my hair is tucked neatly into place. And to finish off, a pair of stilettos that hug my feet and glimmers as it shines.This is my wedding day.…Lucas POV…This is it; I stare at myself in the full-length mirror. I am dressed to perfection in a black tux with a white designer collar shirt. It is silky to the touch and just as easy on the skin. This feels right; this is what I want to be.We have been preparing for this moment; this is the hour; this is the minute my life will
…Lucas POV…I am standing in utmost patience, waiting for her to give me the answer that I want to hear. But that little shy smile says it all; she is going to tease me and drag it until I am nearly about to burst out in anticipation. I know she will say yes, but I want so desperately for her to say it. I guess she wants to hear me beg for it."Lexi, what do you say?""Mmm, I need some time to think.""If you take any longer, then your head is going to explode.""You know what else is going to explode?" she asks me as she nips on her bottom lip.From outside the door, I hear Savanah's voice loud and clear, "Lexi, can you say yes already. I am not getting any younger."I watch as she reaches her hand to me, and I know for certain, "Yes, Lucas, yes."The moment those words escape her lips, Savanah opens the door for us. With a very satisfied look on her face, she pulls us both in for a hug.For one moment the
...Lexi POV...I look at Lucas with squinted eyes, trying to show him how displeased I am to be stuck in this damn broom closet with him. As he looks back at me, it is hard to figure out if he is finding this somewhat amusing or if he is just as annoyed as I am. Just as he is about to get that cocky smile, I snap at him."Is this just not fantastic!""Oh, believe me, I cannot think of spending my day in a better way.""What does that mean?""I don't want to be stuck in a closet with you.""What is wrong with me?"He dares to look me up and down; he studies my body too long to be comfortable with. We have been intimately close so many times; why does this feel somewhat different. It is as if he is judging by the mere look in his eye, which seems to be very hard to read; I have no idea what he is thinking."Well, where do I even start?" he says with eyes so cold. His words knock my heart back hard; how can he be so cr
...Savanah's POV...These two are driving me to insanity. They are stubborn; they plain well do not want to listen. The one thinks the other is better off without the other; all clarity in their heads have gone out the door.Something has to be done.I decide to text him first."Lucas, it is time this bullshit stops. Fair if you don't want to speak to Lexi."Not even a minute later, he phones."Hey, Savanah.""Don't you hey Savanah me.""Where the hell have you been?""I am okay; I have been at a friend's place.""Don't bullshit me; you don't have friends.""I guess you are pretty mad at me?""Whatever gives you that bullshit idea?"“You have used the word bullshit three times already; I don't think I have ever heard you say it before."He is damn right that I have not said it before, but I am beyond my patience with these two."If you two are not going to act like grown-up
…Lucas POV… I am not sure how to take Lexi, she just made love to me. She is furious with me, I do not understand why, why would she make love to me? There is a different kind of look in her eyes. She has been mad at me before and not wanted to come near me at all. Yet, now, she craved to be around me more than anything else. I do not understand if she is still upset, or are we just leaving this unsaid. Well, I have yet spoken but too soon. What does she mean by what is going to happen? The only thing we need now is to work through this and move forward from here. But I do not believe that this will be that easy. So it is with a deep sorrow that she reflects those blue eyes back into mine. The pain is clear, the pain is there, I am foolish to think any other way. And so I need to prepare myself for the worst. "Lucas, I don't know if I can forgive you. I mean of all the things that you have done wrong and hidden away from me, I do not think that I can
…Lucas POV…“What do you mean that we are not really friends?” I watch as the anger build on Lexi’s face as her voice travels to every corner of the room.With that, I take a very much furious Lexi to the white leather couch. She is quite shaken up so I shall not mention anything about anything to her at the moment. And while I sit her down, I turn to make my leave."Please stay," she asks with words that are strained. I can see the pain in her beautiful blue eyes and I need to be convinced if I should be anywhere else but here.So I sit down next to her and pull her close into my arms. No matter what wrong that I have done, there is no other place I would rather be than here.I need to stop for one moment and take a step back, for beyond all the craziness that fill our lives, I need to allow myself to remember what drives me, and it is Lexi. What makes this all worthwhile is the beauty that I hold in my arms. Should
I have not seen Lucas for two days; I am hoping it is because he is busy at the club and not that he is avoiding me. I do not know how I ever thought we could have sex and go back to being friends. I hate being rejected this way, and for some reason, especially by him.Was I just another knot in his string?I am starting to doubt if he wanted me the way I thought he did. In fact, I do not know which way he truly wanted me to start with. I am starting to doubt that we were really such good friends as he said that we are. I honestly think he will not want me again now that he has gotten what he has desired for so long.But it is my own fucking fault!So why am I here sitting and feeling sorry for myself?I guess it is just hard to move back to where we were before the mind-blowing sex. Which was supposed to have been only once, but then he had to take