"Hi Charlie dear." My mother quickly covers her face again with her glasses when she sees Charlie in the room. "Hi, Christine! So good to see you!" Charlie's voice is pitched high and I wince at her too obvious attempt at seeming normal. My mother doesn't sense anything, her head is elsewhere as she goes to sit quietly at my desk, crossing her legs elegantly. Charlie gives us both a conflicted look, she doesn't know whether to give us privacy, or to stay back and protect me if the need arises. I give her a small shake of my head. I am terrified out of my mind, and confused at the same time, but I can handle myself. Christine doesn't know anything about Stephane and I. That single thought gives me some confidence. Doesn't help with the guilt, but it is something I can straighten my spine off of. Today is not my day of reckoning. Charlie excuses herself and my mother and I fall into a silence that is too loud in my pulse. I don't sit next to her or opposite her, I can't stand the di
"Here, have some water." My mother hands me the bottle of water where I am crouched, hands on my knees, tears in my eyes from the relentless coughing. It is like everything within me is rebelling against that piece of information. Fighting against it. Rejecting it. I take the bottle and I chug the contents greedily. She returns to her chair and watches me quietly as I take in deep breaths to calm my racing heart. No matter how many times I take a deep breath, or how hard I do it, I am afraid I might never calm down. Maybe I misheard. Maybe my mother is messing with me. Maybe I am actually stuck in a nightmare right now and I need to wake up. "Sorry. I guess I startled you? My reaction was milder in comparison. I just came apart. Right there on our bedroom floor. The man I loved and have loved for years. He not only admitted to cheating. He also claimed he loved her. She is not just some slut to make him feel young and whatever else reasons men his age go after younger girls. He act
Aleen POV:"Mom. You must know how crazy that sounds." I say, attempting a lighthearted laugh, deep inside I am shredding to pieces with terror. She doesn't return the laugher. Doesn't even crack a smile. She just fixes me with her heavy blank stare. I can't read it and it terrifies me so I look away. "I don't care." She replies, voice still hard with vehemence. "You should. She is not your problem. She didn't owe you loyalty like your husband does. You should be directing whatever ire you feel towards him. He is the one that betrayed your trust." I rush through my words, feeling breathless. They are empty. I know she would never go after Stephane. She loves him too much and besides, she knows how futile it would be going after him. He is more powerful than her.There is nothing she can do to him except rage fruitlessly. She knows it and so she would direct her angst at the next best person. The other woman. Me. It might feel like I am just trying to save my own ass, but I have to
Stephane POV:I have been in my penthouse since Tuesday. The next day after my fight with Christine, she asked for space and offered we separated. It was a mild result compared to the volatility of our fight the night before. The cruelty of the words I said to her. Sometimes, I catch myself wondering how I could have done that to her. But then I remember the situation, I remind myself that it was crucial. It was that, or I laid my hands on her. Which would have been unforgivable. It's not like the words weren't far past the lines already. But I would have never forgiven myself if I had put my hands on her. She didn't deserve all that. Christine called me a few hours ago. It was the first time we would be speaking since Tuesday. She asked where I was, and I told her she didn't need to know. That set her off again, claiming I was with my lover again. I had to bite my tongue from telling her that I wished I was with my lover right now. I have done enough damage. Then she started ranti
Aleen POV:My heart is going crazy in my chest, it is hard to keep it in control. I can't seem to find a way to. Stephane's arms around me are tight, warm, familiar, secure, everything. I am home here. The thought fills me with warmth like I have never felt before. It calms my racing heart eventually. "Aleen. Aleen. We need to talk." Stephane says softly. His hand strokes my hair slowly, I sigh. I pull back, but not completely, just so I can look up into his eyes. Dark, stormy, safe. My mouth stretches involuntarily into a smile. His brow raises, wondering why I am suddenly smiling. The tears in my eyes splits the world into two shimmering beauties as I gaze up at him. He looks worried then, like he is looking at a crazy person. I don't mind. I am going crazy. This kind of happiness can not be normal. Especially after how I have felt just a few hours ago. My ride here was long and I spent it all in an excited limbo. The driver could have believed I was insane too. I didn't mind. A
We find ourselves in the master bedroom. Conjoined. Kissing softly. Then hard. Then desperately. Then feverishly, clinging to each other like lifelines, then slowly again, gently, deliciously, taking our time. Making it worthwhile. Making it last. It is not our first, but it would be in a sense. All the previous times, we had sex under all the lies we told ourselves. But now, we will be making love for the first time. It is heady. It is so singularly delicious that I feel detached from my body. As much as I feel in touch with myself in the way he holds me, there is still an element of disbelief, of enchantment that envelopes me. Is this actually real? Did I deserve this much pure undiluted joy? What did I do to deserve it? Is it going to last? Am I going to lose it?Stephane's tongue kisses into my mouth and I promptly forget my trail of thoughts. It is impossible to hold onto anything when he is kissing me like this. It is not our first kiss, but it feels like the first time. I am
I lay next to him, watching his chest rise and fall. Rise and fall. His eyes and lips are half opened, I don't know if he is fully present with me, but I don't push him, I just glow with pride, watching him try to catch his breath, knowing I am the reason for his unraveling. He turns to cast me a look from under his half closed eyes. He tries to speak but stops to lick his lips. I smirk at him, leaning forward to plant a wet kiss on his lips, moisturising them for him. He sighs into my mouth, his arm come around me and he holds me close to his still heaving chest. "Take your time." I say, teasing him. He cracks a lazy smile. I am transfused with light, watching him like this brings me so much pride. I can't explain it. But I love him. I love him so much, it hurts. I watch him, taking in all the tiny details of his face like I haven't already done so countless times before. But I have always done it in secret, scared to let him see me like that. I do it openly now and it is so freei
Stephane takes his time. Before he even reaches down, I am already overstimulated. He trails wet teasing kisses all over my body, covering every inch of my skin, worshiping me reverently like he can't believe I am his. I cradle his head tenderly, interweaving my fingers in his hair, biting my legs, exhaling in frustration when he slows down more than needed. He takes me on this ride that is all highs and minimal lows and I savour every sensation. I savour every single thing. Holding on greedily, not wanting to waste a moment. Stephane looks up at me, his seductive lips resting on the slight rising curve of my lower belly, I see the look in his eyes and know what it means. He has that sizzling focused feel to them. He holds my eyes as he presses his lips to my skin, my breathing becomes rapid. I squirm under his firm hold, feeling my body respond to him in its entirety. "You are perfect. I can't believe you are mine. All mine." He mutters low against my skin. Flaming my heat to almo
Stephane POV: I am getting married in two days. Getting remarried, more like. Renewing our vows. All those adjectives to describe something that makes me feel like there is a cavernous void in my chest where my heart is supposed to be. Empty. Hollowed out. Dreary. The whole thing. It might be the whiskey and vodka and beer in my system. I have locked myself away in the penthouse since yesterday. Christine didn't mind. All she wants is for me to just show up on the day of the ceremony, prepared to rededicate myself to her. To tell her she won. She offered me a deal I couldn't get out of. A week ago, when I was preparing our divorce with the lawyer, she suddenly flipped out on me, going crazy and trying to physically attack me in the presence of my lawyers, I was too shocked to react. She had led me to believe up until that moment that she wanted nothing to do with me. That she wanted the divorce. I was very generous with her settlement. And deep down, I was rejoicing. It was wrong
"Richard?" I whisper, still stunned by her rant. She is exposing herself to the wrong person and it makes me feel conflicted listening to her. She nods in the direction of the bedroom, I follow her gesture and I flinch. He is still there. I can't see clearly if he is still naked, I hope not, but he is there, watching us down here. I see his dark eyes shrouded in even more shadows and I feel fear lick down my spine at the lifelessness in those dark depths. Who is this man? How come I have never met him or even heard of him before?Well the answer is that my mother and I aren't close. Of course I don't know her lovers and whatnot. I barely even know her friends and they are loud and social enough. Also, looking directly at the stranger, I can tell that he is definitely older than I thought him to be. Though definitely younger than my mom and Stephane, but he is also way older than me too. He is middle aged. His body still retains the lean firmness of youth. There is something sinister
"Like hell I can't!" I raise my voice. My mother winces, like I reached out and slapped her across the face. "Aleen. Please. Don't be insensitive." She says, her tone is undeniably angry and tense. She is over her shock of me walking in on her. "What? What did you just say? Insensitive?" I can't believe my ears. Can't believe my eyes. This was the same woman who was losing her mind over her husband's alleged cheating. She coaxed a confession from him, she was projecting all along. "First, before we get into all these. Can you just answer the question? Why did you come here at this time? It is past midnight. Dressed like that? What is going on, Aleen?" She has the gall to look genuine. The white bulbous bedcovers still wrapped messily around her naked frame, smelling of alcohol and sex, hair messed up, makeup and lipstick smudged, looking like that and she has the gall to question my reason for visiting. She is deflecting, but she doesn't know that I have an even better reason to d
The car rolls to a stop at the entrance to the mansion. It is close to midnight and I don't snap out of my trance as I make my way to the house. What am I doing here? I am not sure I know. I was led here. That sounds insane. But it is what it is. I need to see Stephane and have him tell me to my face that he is remarrying my mother. That he had no intention of fulfilling his promise to me. That he is really just going to discard me like the time we spent together meant nothing to him. That it was all for nothing. I don't care if my mother will be there. I don't care anymore. I just want him to look me in the eyes and tell me that it was truly over between us. I am still dressed in my party dress. The make-up and heels. My made up hair. I don't look how I feel on the inside. I can't be sure. An upheaval is going on and I am powerless to define it. The security agents at the gate let me in without much hassle. They recognise me as Christine's daughter. Entering the house and a wave o
"What?" I manage to whisper, feeling faint. Two weeks of healing, coming undone in a few seconds. "I am really surprised you didn't know. The vow renewal is in two days. They are throwing a lavish party. Well, Christine is the one spearheading the whole thing. Stephane has been suspiciously quiet, but that is just his personality anyway. It is like a second wedding essentially. And it is the talks of the tabloids." Benjamin twists the knife deeper. He can't possibly know that that is what he is doing to me. He is oblivious. Shredding my heart to pieces. "They are getting back together?“ I ask, breathing the words. I can't believe it. But why would Benjamin lie to me about this? And yet, I remain rooted in my disbelief. It is the only way I can stop myself from breaking down."Yeah. It was a shock to everyone. I know all this because I was home for a bit and my mother would not shut up about it. Making calls and cackling aloud with all their friends." "They are getting back together
As soon as we arrive at the sprawling apartment where the party is being held, I quickly realise that either Charlie lied about the populace in attendance or she severely underestimated the party's reach. Because it is definitely more than just my classmates here, there are so many unfamiliar faces, that my anxiety about being in a crowd shoots up. Choking me. Rachel notices me blanking out and directs us to the kitchen where there are several options of alcohol available and people going in and out, taking their choices, mixing lethal cocktails and serving themselves. There is beer, vodka, whiskey, there is even red and white wine. It is a madness. I think I can perceive the smell of weed in the air. I know I am way out of my depths here and immediately decide to leave. But then Rachel quickly mixes a cocktail with more straight vodka than cranberry juice and hands me a cup, I take a sip and decide that I can stay for just a little longer. It is free booze afterall. The music is lo
"I already told them that we would show up, Aleen. Please don't make me look like a liar." Charlie whines, standing over me in bed. I try to pull the covers over my head but she stops me, yanking it away. I groan in protest, but she doesn't yield. She pulls the entire duvet off my body, I have been in my pajamas for over three days and it looks like it. It has been two weeks. Two weeks since I came back from Stephane's penthouse, completely emotionally wrecked. And I am still wrecked. Maybe not as badly as the first week, I managed to go for classes this week after all, but I am still so tender from the heartache that rocked my world, that I am still hiding from the world. Still not interested in anything that I should be interested in. Most especially this annoying party my classmates are throwing to celebrate the end of the semester before exams. Exams are starting in a week, and I am as unprepared as I have never been, it is almost comical because I am not even particularly tense
"It is the only way, Aleen. I am so sorry but it is the only way. I have to make sure you are safe and removed from this mess as much as possible. Christine is out to get you, she is raging and I can't blame her, we didn't end up how she hoped we would. I was cruel to her. I was selfish with you. It is all my fault and I need to remedy it before it is too late. Please, give me the grace to do that, Aleen." Stephane tries to walk to me, but I take a step back away from him, apprehensive and not knowing exactly why. I feel so many emotions and I can't name them. Can't follow their logic, or lack thereof. "But you said you loved me. Does that not mean anything? Does it not count for anything?" I whisper, my voice shaking as I do my best to swallow my tears. I can't keep crying and reinforcing his view of me as an helpless child. "It means everything, Aleen. It means everything. That is why I have to do this." Stephane says, his brows knit together, like he is in physical pain. It is no
"You understand why I have to do this, why we have to do this. Please tell me you understand." Stephane is still on his knees next to me. It is so unnatural to be looking at him from this vantage angle, our usual dynamic is me looking up at him and now I am looking down to meet his eyes, I am too overwhelmed by my feelings to care much. He doesn't seem to mind. He seems content down there, hands on my legs, unsure. "I don't." I say, my heart is shattering into a million pieces. And I am not exaggerating. It feels exactly like that. A million jagged pieces stabbing me, wounding me further. "Just till the dust settles, love. We have to stay away from eachother until I settle Christine. We are dissolving our marriage and she is very sensitive right now. She has been snooping around, trying to figure out who the other woman is. I have to protect you. And maybe protect her too. This is not something you guys can come back from and I don't think I would be able to forgive myself if I am t