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Suffering.
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2024-10-29 19:42:56
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DIFFERENT SHADES OF HIM (BOOK-ONE) 05— Miserable.
05— Miserable. “Healing is never easy. It is the most painful and hurtful path. Yet it is essential for the growth of humans in mental, physical and psychological states. Trust the process.” — Saumya Tripathi Although I was sleeping, my brain was already replaying the disconcerted scenes that I'd suffered yesterday night. Everything came hiking back in a hurried rush. I was stuck somewhere in a state of sleepiness and drowsiness, with scattered thoughts going wild in my head. I was so confused when I woke up that I tried to blink away the blurriness. My thoughts were hazy, and everything looked different. I wasn't even in the state of consciousness, fully. I blinked rapidly the cloudiness of sleep from my eyes to see and make out my surroundings. Regardless of my hazy thoughts and confused slumber, I tried to remember, but nothing came to mind. I felt tired and groggy, but eventually, I sat up unsteadily, still pondering the situation. Promptly, my breath hitched up when I let my
DIFFERENT SHADES OF HIM (BOOK-ONE) Naive.
Naive. Intentionally, I stepped back from him, making my hold tighter on Shaurya, who was also busy watching him inquisitively with his big brown eyes and a pout on his lips, which lay displayed. We stared at each other for a while. But the silence was cut off by his derision. "Jesus! How possibly could you carry this plump kid by yourself? Huh? You rather seem to have such a fragile form." Again, I just peered up at him, quite offended. Why'd he say that? My brother was healthy, not fat! And he seemed to be making fun of me again, wasn't he? Yes, he was! Fuming, I stayed quiet, however. Waiting, I did not know what to do. His obsidian eyes flickered down at my brother with a hint of a smile on his lips. Shaking his head in disbelief at something that I did not get, he raised one of his eyebrows, astonished by the movement. Then, looking down at me and staring intently, he sneered, curling his lips upwards. "Are you afraid for yourself or your brother, Radhika?" He
DIFFERENT SHADES OF HIM (BOOK-ONE) Furiousness.
Furiousness. "I will not stay here at any cost. You are neither my father nor any of my relatives. You cannot abduct us to stay here with you. It is against the law. And if you will not let us go this instant, I will go to the cops!" My tone was supposed to be strong, but it came out as merely audible, but somehow he heard it. He chuckled darkly. “I see.” “I'll report you,” I repeated strongly this time. “I'll report you, which in turn can put you behind bars for a lifetime!” His face turned blank. And despite my tear-stained face, I frowned. Wasn't that enough to scare him? "I am not a little boy, my little one, who would get scared of your little threats by the name of cops. I owe my own police. If you'd like, I can call them up for you," he smirked. His casual behaviour made me more scared. “With money comes power. Two strong weapons: you have them. You are a god. Practically invincible.” My shocked eyes snapped in his direction. I had no answer to the confidence he radiate
DIFFERENT SHADES OF HIM (BOOK-ONE) 06— Him.
06— Him. “And in the end, we all need a friend who would listen to what we have to say.” —Saumya Tripathi “Wouldn't life be simpler for once?” Ebbing away the feeling of apprehension, I chanted and chanted repeatedly, drowning myself in my own belief that I would go. I have to! And I will, implicitly. "I'll soon be away from here. I just have to be patient and wait for the right movement to flip and escape." I contemplated inwardly. My will burned strong, even though I was scared. Reconciling, I enthused and sighed constantly for a few seconds before it was cut short. "Don't be so imaginative about your never-happening escape plan, little Dove. It will not work.” His words burned at my skull. “Nor that it matters, because I'll be making sure that it doesn't.” He piqued my interest incredulously, as though reading my psyche's talk. In spite of jumping at his all-so-sudden tone, the first time my temper flared, I glared up defiantly at him. Persistence and determination a
DIFFERENT SHADES OF HIM (BOOK-ONE) Staggering truth.
Staggering truth. “Why am I here?” My silent question filled the silence in the room. I asked the same question, trying to get some answers that my brain could understand, not the ones he had been making up. "Right now, to get some rest. You look worn out and depleted. Hm?” There was a gentleness in his tone this time. “And you better sleep, as I don't want to see those dark shadows below your eyes,” he demanded, wagging his index finger in my direction threateningly. “You better eat and rest well.” Did he just change the important topic? Did he? He did! At his expressive eyes, I felt like a prey, his prey. “I expect you to have taken a good rest and eaten well before I return.” "And for the previous questions, you'd come to know in due time," he revealed, staring. “Be patient till then.” What? I wondered briefly, staring confusingly at him. Looking somewhat satisfied with my confounded appearance, he smiled slightly; however, his eyes were hard. Hastily, he brought his hand
DIFFERENT SHADES OF HIM (BOOK-ONE) A word with my Saviour.
A word with my Saviour. She quirked up an eyebrow at me. Then, walking past me steadily, she sat on the edge of the bed leisurely, crossing her leg over another. I shook my head in negativity, answering her queries while tightening my hold on Shaurya, who was too listening to her talk, whether understanding or not, but looking curiously with a thumb in his mouth, sucking. "Huh! Probably not. I should have guessed, though. Whatever, I don't wanna gossip, just know," she stood from the bed, walking towards me in confident steps. “He is not a good man, and, on the contrary, he is far from being one. For someone like you, especially," I shivered. My hair stood on end. My heart started pounding again in an instant. “He will get hold of your weakness to ruin you in the most tortured way you could ever predict. And then—" Her eyes flickered at my baby brother and then at me again. My breath got stuck in my throat at her accentuated Converse. "If you love him, then go from here; otherwi
DIFFERENT SHADES OF HIM (BOOK-ONE) 07— Two days afterwards.
07— Two days afterwards. “Sometimes we feel so little yet say so much.” —Saumya Tripathi “Life is an unexpected rollercoaster ride.” The thought invaded my mind as I stared into nothingness. Sometimes in life, we anticipate those things that are not in our hands; perhaps it is human nature that always moves but gets less. However, life is so uncanny, strange, and difficult to understand or even explain that no one can be sure of anything, regardless of what they say or do. If one were to explain life, they would have never been able to. Befuddled perhaps, but things can never be predicted about what could happen next, likely in the very next movement. The truth is that the things we anticipate the most never seem to come true, and the things we would have never imagined, even in our own dreams, happen in reality. To some extent, these are the only facts that humans can use as facts to describe such circumstances. As for myself, I could have never expected such a ferocious day whe
DIFFERENT SHADES OF HIM (BOOK-ONE) The big plan.
The big plan. "Hm-hm, you know you can ask me more than one question as you like. I will invariably be there for your hotty-naughty question, you know." She joked with a wink at my uneasy face. She was such an exuberant person. I couldn't help but think to myself. "Kidding babe. Now, shoot!" "You don't know me; then why do you care so much? How can you be so courteous to me?" I inquired, my voice coming out just above a whisper with my clogged throat. "I am left alone with a baby brother in this whole world by myself," I said in a broken voice after a pause with a bent head. "I feel lost and alone." The last part was barely audible. "Ssh. Don't cry; you are not alone. We are family now—me, Zahar, your little brother, and many more; just wait till you come across them. You will never be alone again. Trust me, they will all love you!" Sitting by my side, Sabba held my hand and squeezed it lightly, consoling me while rubbing my back. After a movement of silence, Sabba ordered: "N
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DIFFERENT SHADES OF HIM (BOOK-ONE) Notice.
Hello! The second part of the book will be available on my GN profile. Don't forget to check it out! I cannot thank you enough for showing your love, support and your patience on this book. I've been broken down writing this so many times I lost count! But you were always there to push me up. I am grateful enough for that. Your reviews, likes and comments help me to drive myself to write. Moving forward I hope you liked this book! Your love for my book is truly inspiring. Once again thank you for reading my amazing readers, without you I would be nothing! I promise to be a better author or I will try to be. Also, I can't wait to hear from you on the second part of the book! Happy reading!
DIFFERENT SHADES OF HIM (BOOK-ONE) Horrendous night.
Caution: Mature theme ahead. Horrendous night. “I am in no need of a blowjob right now. You can leave.” His tone sounded so cold. So unforgiving. “I-I am..” “You should better leave,” he was barely able to utter in a clear voice. “I don't need your assistance. Not today.” Her face turned red at his blurted reply. Feeling repulsed, she dismissed his words before moving forward to remove the empty alcohol bottle and almost-filled ashtray from beside him. “I- I am not here for that.” “I told you to leave.” A rough touch on her wrist bothered her. She tried looking into his eyes to grasp any gap to support her point. “I came here to check on you, Uzair.” “I am alive. Am I not?” His tone sounded heavy with all the emotional lumps he could feel in his throat, which, in turn, scared her. His behaviour with her. “So, leave.” He commanded. “Just let me check.” “Did I ask you to?” “No.” “Then stay the fuck away!” “You can hurt yourself or cause physical pai
DIFFERENT SHADES OF HIM (BOOK-ONE) 17— His Insight.
17— His Insight. “It is so simple to be happy yet so difficult to be simple.”Four hours later.There, he sat on the counter in the kitchen, barely sober. With an almost non-touched plate of noodles kept beside him, a plate full of ashes in the ashtray, and two empty bottles of three-year-old Irish whisky laid horizontally near his thigh, he continued to smoke and get intoxicated without pause. The emotional pain he felt was too much to endure in this state. Putting the lean stick inside his mouth, he inhaled, lying down on his back on the oak table along with his spare hand at the back of his head. “Fuck!” He roared angrily. “Damn it!”With a scathing look in his eyes at the burning cigarette that his fingers held, he muttered,“Why does she have to defy my way every damn time?” Gasping the smoke out through his nose, “Why not for once she could do as she is told without me having to force her into listening to me?” He spoke out loudly in frustration, rubbing his face with force.
DIFFERENT SHADES OF HIM (BOOK-ONE) Prison.
Prison. Wiping my tears, I kept mum, listening to him, and my breathing came out warm and dense.Cuddling my baby to me, I sat there nonplussed with fear of losing the only family left: my little Shaurya. Wiping my tears repeatedly from my hands, I steadied my brother, making him sit on the opposite side of him. Away—as far as I could get from him in the provided space.Silence.For a long moment, there was nothing but silence as I sat stiff and horrified with Shaurya on my lap. My crying had diminished with time. Nevertheless, my eyes and throat felt sore. And I found myself feeling dizzy and weak.Later on, there was a moment of pregnant silence in the already heavy air within the car. He spoke softly. "Don't ever cry like that. Ever! Do you hear me?" His voice held emotions of pain and anguish, though.As if he were a human. But I could be wrong. Because, logically speaking, how could someone like him even feel after having done something so monstrous to us? His face went pale w
DIFFERENT SHADES OF HIM (BOOK-ONE) Plead.
Plead. "Just—just don't hurt him, sir. Please!" I articulated to him while both hands folded with entwined fingers in front of him beseechingly. “Please… Not him..” "I won't have to, you see, little one.” I stared. “If you will listen to me, I won't have to do a thing," he alluded, gazing yet again. “It's simple; just do as you're told.” The silence was what he got as voices inside my head started to chant out: You have to go with him now. You don't have a choice anymore. Do you? No. You couldn't exactly leave your little brother alone with them. With him! Would you? Another certain voice at the back of my mind shuddered out. Within my own turmoils of my inner notions, I did not realise what happened next as it spurted like flopping birds in the mountains. "We have wasted more than enough time already. I cannot afford to waste more time; moreover, let's just get going." Bending a little more in my direction, he took my hand, which was prodding in the grime of the splotchy road
DIFFERENT SHADES OF HIM (BOOK-ONE) 16— Home but not ours!
16— Home but not ours! In the longest silence that followed, he wanted to tell her a thousand things. . . . Beginning with a plea that she could stay. The need to beg, pulsed in his veins. Yet, hoping against hope, he wished she stayed. — Saumya Tripathi “If it were on me, I would never come with you.” “That's a fortunate thing it isn't on you then,” he bent and whispered in my ear. "Otherwise, that would have turned out to be such a disappointment. Wouldn't you agree?” His words were like a dagger piercing through the heart. With a touch of poison rooted in the tone, I inched back. “Why?” There was a catch in my tone. I wanted him to know what he wanted from me. I would never give it to him willingly. Not until I knew I still had a fight left in me. “Why are you torturing me like this?” He clenched his jaws while levelling with me with an angry frown. Moving closer, he leaned towards me, his hand capturing almost the whole of my already wet face. “Because it's the only ch
DIFFERENT SHADES OF HIM (BOOK-ONE) Monster.
Monster. “I like seeing your doe-like eyes have hope in them,” he whispered. “I sure did. Didn't I?” Am I deluding myself completely? No. How could I when he said it himself only a couple of moments ago? I heard him. And I know I heard him correctly. My eyes veered up at him as I gazed up, inching my head a little more. I looked at him without moving a muscle as he remained kneeling on one knee with a hand extended still towards me. For me to hold. For me to take. He blinked at me twice. His face was still impassive. Or was it I who didn't even know how to read people? Was I that bad at understanding people? Maybe I was naive, as his face stayed impassive all the time. “Will you take us home?” I finally broke the silence. "I will.” I was confused, but hopeful. “My home?” I tried to confirm. “I did say home. Our home. Not the one you used to stay in. But this is the one you will be staying in from now on. Now let's get going, shall we? If your inquiring session has ceased,"
DIFFERENT SHADES OF HIM (BOOK-ONE) Reluctance.
Reluctance. My eyebrows arched at the man as he looked down straight at me boldly. Tearing my gaze from the road, I inched my head up, in his direction, slowly. My eyes held my afflictions and pains, along with my tears of suffering. I peered at him. Maybe pleadingly. Hoping against hope, I pleaded through my raw, croaked voice: "Please, sir, don't do this to me. It is only he who has been left behind by my parents; if anything happens to him, I can't afford it," I croaked up at him. "I just can't." "I don't desire that either. I don't want that to happen.” His eyes held nothing. “Don't force me to do something I don't intend to.” He's going to hurt Shur if I don't listen to him. “Just come with me, and you both will be safe and secure under my supervision, and your brother will be in your hands in no time. I can guarantee you that." He nodded at one of the men that was standing near him and very gently handed my baby brother to him, who took him in his awaiting bulky arms g
DIFFERENT SHADES OF HIM (BOOK-ONE) 15— Talks and beseeching! (Part-2)
15— Talks and beseeching! (Part-2) “We judge people as it is obvious psychology of humans to do so. But the question is: is it worth it? To judge everyone based on how they look? By how do they present themselves? By how do they choose to act? Because some people ought to be felt rather than observed. As you truly cannot judge people by their outer layers, that would be so unfair, some people should only be gazed upon by their hearts instead of eyes.” — Saumya Tripathi “However, if I have to, I will. But you already know that. Don't you?” I did. His deep, uncaring tone sent chills down my spine. “It totally depends on what you choose.” He waited. “Either it is your way or I will make you.” Anger spiked in my stomach as if molten lava had been kept in it. I needed to get over this. I needed to get away from him. I had to get over it as quickly as possible. I had to! I didn't have much of a choice. As if knowing my state, the breeze picked up. Darkness had finally caught up to
