Book one
Volume one. Different Shades of Him Prologue. "Welcome back home, little bird,” he enunciated, staring down at us. At me. “To our cage.” It was the only thought that crossed my mind. “My impending doom.” Yet, from inside, I knew it could be a home for him. But for us? No. Never for us. For me! "It's not our home," I muttered without realising it. “It's more like a cage.” "How wrong can you be, Radhika?" He asked, grasping my upper arm in his large palm, to lead me inside the large, luxurious, four-story house. I went with him without any struggles. Because as far as I had known him in a couple of hours, I knew he wouldn't be letting us go. Not anytime soon. Not until I give him enough reasons to. “I'm not wrong—I just happen to know. Even if you coerce us to live here, it won't give us the feeling of safety and warmth we should feel from inside when we are in our home. It won't make your home—our home, if you call it. It would merely be a house where you'd force us to live." My voice was a mere murmur, but I knew he heard it somehow. My heart was beating louder and faster than usual. Encouraged by my emotional thoughts, my pulse started to race at an unusual pace as I told him. Though he didn't say anything in response to that, somewhere, I knew he understood my proclamation. “On second thought, maybe you're right.” A dull ache began to spread throughout my entire body. “I always knew that.” Leaving him behind, I took a couple of steps more before I was stopped. “Must you leave?” “Yes, of course, it's not my home!” I used my rage to fuel my courage. I wanted to make him see my reasons. “And when we are on the topic, let me ask you, since when were you planning to escape?” I breathed slowly. “Let me rephrase it: who was it? Who was the person who helped you?” “No.. One.” “Don't make me repeat myself.” The tone he used in his voice made me want to crawl. I felt nothing but helpless at that moment. “In a couple of days, you have grown exceedingly bold. Haven't you?” His tone turned dangerous. “Perhaps I was too lenient with you.” I could hear him step closer and closer to me. “And whatever you tried today,” I winced in pain as he held my nape from behind before turning me around. I peered up at him in fear while he stared down at me with his intimidating eyes. His eyes were thundering. Leaning down further, he made my pulse rise. Being so close to him—a man, no less—I could see the clear spec of blackness inside his dark eyes. They were so raw, so dark, and so piercing. It was terrifying to look at. I sucked a shaky, terrified breath before slowly blowing it out. “I would suggest you not try it again,” he added, his bottomless brooding eyes burning into mine, “because no matter how hard you are going to try, you are never going to get out of here without my permission. Away from my sight,” he vowed in a menacing tone that had no expression at all. “Don't get your hopes high.” Tears split down my eyes while he studied my face for a solid amount of time before finally deciding to release me. Moving as soon as possible away from him, I backed away hastily, cradling my nape. It was hurting. “You like escaping. Don't you?” He explained it to me in a condescending tone. “Let's see how you are going to try now with my eyes on you— all the time.” “You can try all you want, but you can never break my spirits!” I looked at him directly in the eyes without blinking. His eyes were still focused on my face as he slowly walked around me. “Do you mean it?” His voice was strangely soft. “Maybe I cannot. But.. ” Adding to his intimidating aura. Horror washed over me as I realised the direction of his eyes. Shaur. “No.. ” I whispered. “I can break him.” His gaze met mine in an instant. “You seem to have forgotten your own mental capacity for understanding certain situations. Let me refresh it for you.” His eyes seemed to burn holes in me. “I'd rather not get blood on your dress.” Tears brimmed my eyes. I could feel my dissolution crumbling. Breaking into pieces. The pure aura he radiated was nothing but extreme affliction. “Regardless of your wishes, you'll do as I say. Because I want you here. You belong to me, Radhika. Do not push me. You won't like the results.” He brushed his knuckles over my jaw. Nothing of this would have happened if my parents were alive. Why did they have to leave me all alone in this cruel world? After they were gone, a lot of things happened all at once. And none of them were good. Not even one. He was the worst— out of them. ~•~•~•~•~ Saumya Tripathi | Different shades of him. Copyrights © 2024 by Saumya Tripathi. All rights reserved. The author neither promotes nor supports the actions mentioned in this story. It is purely fictional and should be taken as such. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means without my prior written permission. Note that this is an ongoing story, and therefore subject to change. All copies published are the party of Saumya Tripathi. References to real persons, places, or events are made in fictional content and are not intended to be defamatory, or in any way factual. No copyright infringement is intended.01— After three dreadful months. “Life is never hard under the protective shades of our parents. The struggle starts when we decide to move out from that shade.” — Saumya Tripathi “If only you were here.” Staring at the clear sky with little stars twinkling almost brightly, I muttered with a sad smile on my face. An intense sorrow came in waves, making me feel nothing but numb. “There is nothing the same with you both leaving us,” the welled-up tears in my eyes felt too heavy to carry. “Life has been so hard without you both.” There was an overwhelming mix of grief, shock, and disbelief. It happened inexplicably. One movement we were fervently emitting family: just the four of us: no worries, no stress, no pain, no grief. Nothing. Just pure elation and extreme euphoria skirted around our household. Patently yet another plausible, pronounced Merry family. LIFE: It gives you chances—a lot of chances of that sort—to amend your mistakes. Mistakes that you would have made in the past,
Intoxication. “Are you okay, Awdhesh?” “I am fine,” he gushed. "What are you doing at this time, let alone at this hour?" He all but growled, out of breath. I sighed dejectedly. “Did something happen?” His breathing was hard. “Why do you look anxious?” “I said I am fine,” his tone seemed off. “A-are you sure?” “You should respond to me first.” "Awdhesh, you need not worry about me. I am all right and about to return home." "If you say so," he glowed at me. We stared. It was awkward. For the first time, it felt like I was choking at the aura he was inducing. "Take a walk with me, Radhika. It has been a pretty long time since hmm.. you know..." I cut him off reluctantly. I did not want to speak to him right now regarding that sensitive matter. "It's okay,” I told him softly, holding his hand. “But I can't. It's already late, and I should go, otherwise, my uncle will be worried. You know how he is. Don't you, Awdhesh?” He breathed out. His hold on my hand tightened wh
Drugged. "Done. I am done with this fucking good guy shit now. Being a dog to you for what? So you can reciprocate my feelings one day, huh? But guess what? My fucking patience seems to already be running out real quick. Now, stop being a crybaby and get up this instant, or you will regret it!" I could only stare at him in bewilderment. When I didn't move a muscle to get up, he took one last long step towards me. Bending down, he yanked me to him by my upper arm, forcefully. "A-awdhesh!" I shrieked in pain, flinching. “What has happened to you?” I tried to wriggle in his hold, but it was of no use. He was a lot taller and larger than my small, petite form. I cried out in pain because of his brutal grip. The first time, I regretted being this small and defenceless. "Please let go; you are hurting me," I exclaimed, my tear-stained face looking up at him. "Why are you doing this?” “It is because of you!” My eyes widened. “Me?” “Yes, you! Can't you see the reasons? My reaction is
02—Forcing me against my will. “Forcing someone to love you can only make them detest you more.” —Saumya Tripathi “Ssh…slowly.” There was something on my cheek. It kept on being touched. Were those fingers of a person? “Don't struggle too much.” My psyche invaded without halting, with hazy thoughts in my mind before I could even open my eyes. The thoughts were merely hazy and twirled groggily inside—in my head, which I tried to get hold of with my crumbled memories. But I could not succeed. “Shhh… You are safe, little one.” When my mind came back to its senses, I felt something rough strolling gently in a circular motion on my left cheek, which was rather sore. Sore? Why did my cheek feel so strained? The touch was gentle and smooth. However, my cheek seemed to be itching. I so wanted to itch and get relief; nonetheless, I stayed, unmoved and confused about almost everything. “Keep still. Otherwise, you are going to hurt yourself.” Albeit, I tried to open up my eyes, but it w
Captor. I blinked my eyes rapidly to get rid of the heaviness from the vague eyes, even though it didn't go away entirely. I tried, tried, and tried without giving up. "Ssshh, your endeavour won't work, little one, and neither will your fights. So, stop trying so hard, my dove," he said while continuing his assault on my face and hair. “Succumb to sleep.” Why was he touching my hair? Scalding tears spilt out from the corner of my eyes, hiding in the sides of my hair. I was scared—no. I was terrified, and I just wanted this stranger to stop touching me. Who was he? Who had permitted him to assault my hair? Fighting the urge to keep my eyes shut, I fought—hard. And with certain luck, my vagueness subsided. On an impulse, my eyes widened in fright when the realisation hit me hard. Without mulling any further, I looked frantically around me to search for Shaurya, my baby, but no one was there in the entire large car except for the two of us. My eyes watered. "He is fine a
Unknown threats. He was still watching me. When I retreated unhurriedly, he detached the glass from my lips. Looking up at him with my questionable gaze, I tried again. "Who are you? Why are we here, and where are we? Where is Awdhesh? What did you do to him? Where is he? Why did you bring us here?" I asked him all the questions that were slowly crawling up to my head at the fastest pace, all in one breath before breathing hard. "Ssh! Calm down, little one, breathe," he chuckled. “Breathe before you go out of it again.” There was not any hilarity in my questions. Was there? No, there wasn't. I answered myself. "It is amusing to see your scarlet—rosy red cheeks—from close up, you know. And for your questions—you can call me Uzair," he emphasised and then paused for a movement to study me. Watching me intently. “Uzair.” Why was he looking at me like that—like he wanted to remind me of something? But, what? "You both will be living here from now on under my supervision," he said
03— Tears of anxiety and anguish. “Words mean nothing until and unless it is felt.” — Saumya Tripathi “Doesn't everything feel strange?” With a lump in my throat and a tight feeling in my chest that seeped into the veins, I exhaled with difficulty. “What should I make with all this?” He left without even sparing a single glance. That was the only question that resonated in my psyche, altogether, as if everything were normal for him. “Is this even real?” Minutes ambled by. . . Standing there, alone in the foreign room with just my little brother clinging to me and no one else—just us—I stood stunned and, most probably, confused and dumbfounded. I wasn't able to proceed regarding what had happened. Which sane person would? But the heavy questions remained in my mind, hovering over me, disturbing me with more questions to which I didn't have any answers, unsteadily revolting me to no end. Why would he want us here? What would he get while abducting us? Why was he forcing us
Extravagance. Somehow, I felt an intuition about trusting them. But should I really be trusting them? I was dubious. Come to think of it, they had that kind of vibe around them where you knew you could trust them because vibes never lie. Vibes were always pure and will never be manipulated with sweet coating words or the pretence of actions. It wasn't easy to change one's vibe if something did not feel right; one should pay heed to it. According to that notion, I took my chances. I took a long pause. "You can trust us, ma'am. We will be here until you come." Sabba persisted, grinning. "Taking care of him." I nodded meekly, staring up at them, merely confused. What was even happening? No wonder why I couldn't move past the fact that I had been brought up here. It was like a dream. The dream that no one would ever happily want to even live. With the help of Zahar and Sabba, I stood straight on my feet with Shaurya, carefully. "May I, ma'am?" Sabba asked me before she held o
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Caution: Mature theme ahead. Horrendous night. “I am in no need of a blowjob right now. You can leave.” His tone sounded so cold. So unforgiving. “I-I am..” “You should better leave,” he was barely able to utter in a clear voice. “I don't need your assistance. Not today.” Her face turned red at his blurted reply. Feeling repulsed, she dismissed his words before moving forward to remove the empty alcohol bottle and almost-filled ashtray from beside him. “I- I am not here for that.” “I told you to leave.” A rough touch on her wrist bothered her. She tried looking into his eyes to grasp any gap to support her point. “I came here to check on you, Uzair.” “I am alive. Am I not?” His tone sounded heavy with all the emotional lumps he could feel in his throat, which, in turn, scared her. His behaviour with her. “So, leave.” He commanded. “Just let me check.” “Did I ask you to?” “No.” “Then stay the fuck away!” “You can hurt yourself or cause physical pai
17— His Insight. “It is so simple to be happy yet so difficult to be simple.”Four hours later.There, he sat on the counter in the kitchen, barely sober. With an almost non-touched plate of noodles kept beside him, a plate full of ashes in the ashtray, and two empty bottles of three-year-old Irish whisky laid horizontally near his thigh, he continued to smoke and get intoxicated without pause. The emotional pain he felt was too much to endure in this state. Putting the lean stick inside his mouth, he inhaled, lying down on his back on the oak table along with his spare hand at the back of his head. “Fuck!” He roared angrily. “Damn it!”With a scathing look in his eyes at the burning cigarette that his fingers held, he muttered,“Why does she have to defy my way every damn time?” Gasping the smoke out through his nose, “Why not for once she could do as she is told without me having to force her into listening to me?” He spoke out loudly in frustration, rubbing his face with force.
Prison. Wiping my tears, I kept mum, listening to him, and my breathing came out warm and dense.Cuddling my baby to me, I sat there nonplussed with fear of losing the only family left: my little Shaurya. Wiping my tears repeatedly from my hands, I steadied my brother, making him sit on the opposite side of him. Away—as far as I could get from him in the provided space.Silence.For a long moment, there was nothing but silence as I sat stiff and horrified with Shaurya on my lap. My crying had diminished with time. Nevertheless, my eyes and throat felt sore. And I found myself feeling dizzy and weak.Later on, there was a moment of pregnant silence in the already heavy air within the car. He spoke softly. "Don't ever cry like that. Ever! Do you hear me?" His voice held emotions of pain and anguish, though.As if he were a human. But I could be wrong. Because, logically speaking, how could someone like him even feel after having done something so monstrous to us? His face went pale w
Plead. "Just—just don't hurt him, sir. Please!" I articulated to him while both hands folded with entwined fingers in front of him beseechingly. “Please… Not him..” "I won't have to, you see, little one.” I stared. “If you will listen to me, I won't have to do a thing," he alluded, gazing yet again. “It's simple; just do as you're told.” The silence was what he got as voices inside my head started to chant out: You have to go with him now. You don't have a choice anymore. Do you? No. You couldn't exactly leave your little brother alone with them. With him! Would you? Another certain voice at the back of my mind shuddered out. Within my own turmoils of my inner notions, I did not realise what happened next as it spurted like flopping birds in the mountains. "We have wasted more than enough time already. I cannot afford to waste more time; moreover, let's just get going." Bending a little more in my direction, he took my hand, which was prodding in the grime of the splotchy road
16— Home but not ours! In the longest silence that followed, he wanted to tell her a thousand things. . . . Beginning with a plea that she could stay. The need to beg, pulsed in his veins. Yet, hoping against hope, he wished she stayed. — Saumya Tripathi “If it were on me, I would never come with you.” “That's a fortunate thing it isn't on you then,” he bent and whispered in my ear. "Otherwise, that would have turned out to be such a disappointment. Wouldn't you agree?” His words were like a dagger piercing through the heart. With a touch of poison rooted in the tone, I inched back. “Why?” There was a catch in my tone. I wanted him to know what he wanted from me. I would never give it to him willingly. Not until I knew I still had a fight left in me. “Why are you torturing me like this?” He clenched his jaws while levelling with me with an angry frown. Moving closer, he leaned towards me, his hand capturing almost the whole of my already wet face. “Because it's the only ch
Monster. “I like seeing your doe-like eyes have hope in them,” he whispered. “I sure did. Didn't I?” Am I deluding myself completely? No. How could I when he said it himself only a couple of moments ago? I heard him. And I know I heard him correctly. My eyes veered up at him as I gazed up, inching my head a little more. I looked at him without moving a muscle as he remained kneeling on one knee with a hand extended still towards me. For me to hold. For me to take. He blinked at me twice. His face was still impassive. Or was it I who didn't even know how to read people? Was I that bad at understanding people? Maybe I was naive, as his face stayed impassive all the time. “Will you take us home?” I finally broke the silence. "I will.” I was confused, but hopeful. “My home?” I tried to confirm. “I did say home. Our home. Not the one you used to stay in. But this is the one you will be staying in from now on. Now let's get going, shall we? If your inquiring session has ceased,"
Reluctance. My eyebrows arched at the man as he looked down straight at me boldly. Tearing my gaze from the road, I inched my head up, in his direction, slowly. My eyes held my afflictions and pains, along with my tears of suffering. I peered at him. Maybe pleadingly. Hoping against hope, I pleaded through my raw, croaked voice: "Please, sir, don't do this to me. It is only he who has been left behind by my parents; if anything happens to him, I can't afford it," I croaked up at him. "I just can't." "I don't desire that either. I don't want that to happen.” His eyes held nothing. “Don't force me to do something I don't intend to.” He's going to hurt Shur if I don't listen to him. “Just come with me, and you both will be safe and secure under my supervision, and your brother will be in your hands in no time. I can guarantee you that." He nodded at one of the men that was standing near him and very gently handed my baby brother to him, who took him in his awaiting bulky arms g
15— Talks and beseeching! (Part-2) “We judge people as it is obvious psychology of humans to do so. But the question is: is it worth it? To judge everyone based on how they look? By how do they present themselves? By how do they choose to act? Because some people ought to be felt rather than observed. As you truly cannot judge people by their outer layers, that would be so unfair, some people should only be gazed upon by their hearts instead of eyes.” — Saumya Tripathi “However, if I have to, I will. But you already know that. Don't you?” I did. His deep, uncaring tone sent chills down my spine. “It totally depends on what you choose.” He waited. “Either it is your way or I will make you.” Anger spiked in my stomach as if molten lava had been kept in it. I needed to get over this. I needed to get away from him. I had to get over it as quickly as possible. I had to! I didn't have much of a choice. As if knowing my state, the breeze picked up. Darkness had finally caught up to