Zander hesitated with a little scowl on his brow. He appeared to choose his words carefully when he talked.
"I was in Los Angeles acquiring a new company, believe me," he continued, "I never wanted to be so far away from you."
"Okay." Elvie had the impression that he was keeping something from her. Was it her own bewilderment playing games with her? In this foggy, empty world, she couldn't trust anything, not even her own thinking!
"I miss you, dear. And yes, you are so beautiful," he remarked as he cupped her face. He breathed quickly. "I almost feared I'd never see your face again."
What the hell was wrong with him? She thought.
"You mean when you heard about the accident? Were you concerned about me?" she said quietly. She licked her lips when he didn't respond. She took a deep breath and voiced the question that had been bothering her. "Because we love and care about each other? "
He took a big breath, and his jaw clenched.
"Yes. My late grandma arranged for us to marry five years ago, sweetie. You were a virgin when I had you, and we loved each other, you know," he remarked quietly. "You'd never dated a man because you'd had a crush on me since university days, and I'm your brother's best friend. You can trust me."
He didn't answer her question.
Why? Odd.
But trust him?
Why was it difficult to believe? She thought to herself.
"Wait, I have a brother?" Elvie muttered in shock.
"Yes, dear, he—I'm sorry to say this, but he was now, um, in the mental um,institution."
"Why?"
"He was not well. But don't worry. I have taken care of him for the last six years. No need to worry," Zander smirked as he paced towards the windows and pretended to adjust the curtain.
A rush of relief, though, poured over Elvie. It had been a huge shock to discover she was a mother and with a spouse she couldn't remember. She'd pondered why they fought—she'd questioned everything. But if Zander was her one and only lover, if she was a virgin, didn't that say something about her character?
But does it also signify love?
She raised her eyes to his lovely face and opened her mouth to ask, "Do I love you? Do you have feelings for me?"
Then she came to a halt.
Something was lurking under his darkly piercing gaze. Something he didn't say. There's something underlying his words.
"Of course. You are my wife." Zander placed his wide palms over hers before she could realise what her instincts were telling her. His fingers scorched her as they interlaced with hers. Trapping her without her approval. Her heart beat quicker.
"Don't think too much, okay? For now, get ready to leave," he murmured as he dipped his head to kiss her on the forehead, his hands sliding up and down her bare forearms. "I really want to take you home."
"Why?"
"Because it's where you belong, dear."
She nodded her head.
As he caressed her flesh, her breathing became short and shallow. Sensational prickles raced up her arms and down her back, making her hair stand on edge.
What was wrong with her? She pondered.The tingle sensation from his touch swirled across her earlobes and down her neck, making her naked breasts beneath her thin hospital gown suddenly feel tight and full. She tried to remember the question she’d been asking, but it had already swept through her mind.
"All right," she said as she looked up into his lovely face.
Zander assisted her out of bed, gently raising her to her feet. She was more conscious than ever of how much taller and stronger he was. He was at least six inches taller and a hundred pounds heavier. She forgot everything as she looked up at him, except her own need and riveted desire for the guy looming over her like a god.
"I'm sorry it took me so long to get to you," he added quietly. "But I'm here now," he said quietly, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her into a hug. "And I'm never going to let you go. I will find our daughter in time, but for now, let's focus on your recovery, okay?"
Elvie nodded, silently praying for a quick recovery because she knew somewhere her child was waiting for her. "Do you have any idea where I left her?"
"I already have a team of experts to look for her, dear. Maybe in a day or two, she'll be with us, okay?" Zander said with a hint of anger in his voice. And I swear, woman, I’ll let you pay for keeping the child away from me and for not telling me about her. He thought to himself angrily.
Few minutes later, Zander observed Elvie as he walked her to the black limo, purring on the street in front of the hospital, behind heavy, tired eyelids.
He scowled as he stared at her, realising she wasn't faking her amnesia. Despite his initial scepticism, he now had no doubt. Elvie had no idea who he was or what she'd gotten herself into.
She was now with his child. That was the fact he tried to remember. But where did she left her? How on earth did he function with that knowledge? He had a daughter, a four-year-old child, for whom he had no idea. And why on earth did Elvie not tell him about her before?
Yes, he was a jerk toward her but...
Was it too late?
How could he let her go five years ago? How stupid could he get about trusting Kristal and his lawyer? And why does it feel like he felt a tinge of regret for divorcing Elvie?
Was he losing his mind?
Could this be karma for ignoring the woman he secretly cares about but couldn't forgive because she was related to the man who killed his parents? Could he forgive her for lying to him? For making up such lies about her brother? Yes, her brother was his former best friend during his university days, but that was not an excuse for him to forgive the person who killed his parents.
That changed everything. With that in mind, he sighed and gently assisted her. She didn't have any bags. After the accident, her handbag and phone were gone, and she had nothing in her name, not even an ID.
What if... she's not single anymore? What if, like him, she had married someone? What if...
Fuck! He muttered to himself.
And now he was the father of a missing child? To an ex-wife without a memory of him?
Damn it! He has a daughter! And for the past five years, Elvie has kept it from him?
How dare she keep it from him? How dare…
He groaned irritatingly and looked at his ex-wife.
One of his men had taken her rented car to the garage, while the other had gone to make quiet amends for the smashed mailbox. She wore a black silk dress from her parents funeral yesterday.
The black dress clung to her breasts and hips when she walked, the silk shimmering and sliding against her hips. Her blonde, glossy hair had been brushed into a fresh ponytail. Yet, she wore no makeup. It made her look different. Zander had never known her to go out without lipstick before—although God knows, with her lustrous skin, full pink lips, and sparkling blue eyes, she didn’t need it to cause every man she met, from the elderly hospital porter to the teenage boy walking past them on the sidewalk, to stop and catch his breath.
He never noticed her like this before, not even when he was still good friends with his brother and he always visited their home. Not even when he married her. Yes, he found her beautiful and kind, and—well, maybe a little demure and boring, but never like this. She was now so raw, so pure, and so innocent that he wanted nothing but to save her from any danger or harm.
Was he losing it?
Was he really losing his mind?
Was he seriously changing his mind about this woman?
No! Impossible. He still hated her, her family, her brother, and her. He still hated her.
But ever since that night, that night when they made love five years ago, her moan and her warmth have been his constant companions—even when he married Kristal.
And as Elvie turned back to face him on the sidewalk with a sweetly innocent smile, Zander was grimly aware that he was far from immune to her charm. Was she this sweet and innocent?
God, I seriously need a drink. I'm losing it. He thought to himself.
"Where are we going?" Elvie asked, crinkling her forehead. "You never said."
"Home," he replied, guiding her into the backseat of the limousine. He closed the door behind her.
"Where?"
"Scotland."She gaped at him. "Oh." She bit her lips but nodded in response.
His body’s reaction to her was irritating and troubling. He didn’t like it.
When he’d first seen Elvie in the hospital, she’d been curled up on the single bed beneath a thick blanket. She’d looked pale and wan, nothing like the vivacious, tempestuous vixen he remembered that night. Sleeping, she looked innocent, far younger than before.
She looked small. Fragile.
Zander had come to London specifically to destroy her. For the last five years, he’d been dreaming of it.
Yes, maybe he was being dramatic, but he wanted her. He wanted to—
Yeah, he wanted to hurt her for leaving him, for signing the divorce papers, and now for keeping his child from him.
Yes. He wanted to hurt her.
Badly.
But how could he take his revenge if she not only had no memory of her crimes but was also so alone and fragile?
And so beautiful?
Tightening his hands into fists, he stalked to the other side of the car. Though it was only September, the sun had abruptly fled London. A steady drizzle was falling from low, grey clouds.
He climbed in beside her, and she turned to him without missing a beat.
"Don't worry, I have a private jet. It won't take long. We are going to the airport."
"Oh!"
"It’s where we lived before; do you remember?" He gave her a brief, tight smile.
"No."
"Don't worry, you'll remember it soon enough. Familiar home, familiar places and people. Doctor’s orders."
"So I live there with you?"
"No."
"We don’t live together?"
"You like to travel," he said ironically.
"So where are my clothes?" she said in a small voice. "And my passport? My purse? My phone?"
"Likely at your hotel. But your purse was missing from the accident. Don't worry, my staff will collect your things and meet us at the airport."
"But…" She looked out the window, then turned back to face him and said in a rush, lifting her chin, "I want to see my home. My childhood home. Where is it?"
He gave her an assessing glance. "Your parent's estate is here in London, dear, I believe. But visiting there won’t help you. You spent one night there before the funeral. It hasn’t been your home for a long time," he lied.
"Please, Zander." Her sapphire eyes gleamed. "I want to see my parent's home."
His brow furrowed as he looked down at her pleading face.
Elvie really had changed, he thought. His ex-wife had never begged him for anything. She’d never even said please.
Except…
Except for the first night he’d taken her to his bed, when all her defences had been briefly stripped away and he’d discovered against all expectations, a virgin. As he’d thrust himself inside her, she’d looked up at him in a breathless hush with those azure-blue eyes, and he’d thought—he'd almost thought—
He cut off the memory savagely.
He wouldn’t think about how it had once been with her. He wouldn’t think about how she had nearly made him lose everything, including his mind.
Elvie Carlton was a deadly habit he'd finally broken—and he planned to keep it that way. "Very well," he grumbled, turning to face her. "We'll come back next time with our daughter, okay?" Her gorgeous face lit up. She looked fresh without makeup and with her hair pulled back into a casual ponytail. She looked to be significantly younger than his own age, just old enough for college. "Thank you," she responded cheerfully. Thank you. Another term from her that he'd never heard before Yes, in a year while they were married, they seldom communicated with each other, and it would often take a week for a single Yes or No to come from the two of them, even after she had done everything she could to win him. But now? Was she always this polite? So innocent? So...pure? So sweet? Was he really this bad? He sighed as his chauffeur drove effortlessly through the city, turning right to the airport, Zander looked away, resting back in the dark leather seat. They landed in Scotland two hou
Marry me? Again? Why? Yes, Elvie thought dazedly as she gazed up at his beautiful face. His heat burned her, tracing down her neck to her breasts and lower still, his powerful, rough hands against the tenderness of her skin. How could a man be so macho, so beautiful, and so powerful all at once? Zander was everything her ripped, hollow, terrified soul had desired. He would stand up for her. He love her and he would complete her life. Yes! She would make him hers. But even as the words rose to her lips, something stopped her. Something she couldn’t understand made her pull her face away from his touch. "Marry you again, why?" she whispered. She searched his dark eyes, her heartbeat quickening in her chest. "I don’t even know you." He blinked. Elvie saw that he was surprised. Then his eyebrows lowered into a frown. "Dear, you knew me well enough to conceive my child." She swallowed. "But I can’t remember you. It wouldn’t be fair to take you as my husband. It wouldn’t be right."
"I'm so cruel! I'm so—so bad. I can’t remember. I can't—" Crossing the bedroom in four long strides, Zander took her by the shoulders. "Elvie, listen to me, okay? Don't blame yourself. You will get your memory back eventually." "It’s not just the past; it's me. It's what happened. Why did I marry you? Why did we fight? Why did I bring our child with me then totally forget her? I'm cruel, I'm so—" she whispered. "Why would you want to be with a person like me? Without substance, without heart? A bad mother?" Zander remained silent. "And now it’s all too late," she said over the lump in her throat. "I’ve lost her. I have no home. I'm a bad mother. Oh God!" "Your home is with me, and trust me, you are a good mother, okay?" he said in a low voice. She looked up at him. The sunlight from the tall windows gently caressed his face, illuminating floating dust motes like tiny stars all around them in the bedroom. "Let me show you." He touched her bare arms carefully, his fingertips glidi
The next few hours were shared with hearty meals, but as Elvie knew, it was all for show because there were still unknown borders between them. And though Zander mentioned having an online meeting in his own private office, her heart began to beat faster than anticipated when he appeared in her room. "Is your meeting done?" Elvie asked, forcing a smile. Zander sighed. "Yeah, the meeting went well." "Okay, but I wasn’t talking about that meeting." Elvie frowned. "Is anything wrong?""Nothing," he said, then realising what she’d seen from his face, he relented. "I’ve got a bit of a headache, that’s all." She raised a brow and said, "Have some medicine and coffee, okay?" "Yeah. Thanks, sweetheart. By the way, Elvie, my butler is not well." "Oh! Um, so you need something?" Elvie blinked, reaching for the phone. "Do you want me to ring the agency and arrange a replacement?" He frowned and thought the Elvie he knew before would do the same. "I’ll survive for a day without Juan," Zand
The driver buzzed, and he picked up his briefcase. "Don’t bother doing something here, okay? Sleep, rest, and enjoy the garden, and don't worry about the wedding," he said. "If you need to do something, do it from here in my room or in your room, and then finish up for the day." He frowned at her pale face. "Actually, go shopping." "I’ve got a full schedule tomorrow with the doctor. I mean, an online meeting with a psychiatrist, Zander." "Cancel it—my orders." Zander shrugged. "Go shopping and buy whatever you like and catch up on some sleep. I’ll see you on Monday." And as always, he left his room as easily as he left a hotel room—just turned and walked out of the door without a second thought. From the balcony, Elvie saw him frown as he handed his driver his bag. Elvie’s voice reached him. "Have a safe trip, Zander." He looked up over his shoulder and saw a throwaway comment, a rushed farewell, on the tip of his tongue, and in that moment he tasted it. Take care, Elvie! But he
MondayElvie turned her face up towards the bright Scottish sun from the windows of the boat, leaning back against Zander’s strong, powerful body as the boat bounced across the waves. The leather seat hummed beneath her thighs from the vibrations of the engine.She took a deep breath of the sharp, salty air. Her skin felt warm. Her body felt hot all over as she leaned against Zander’s hard chest. Even through his black shirt, she could feel the heat on his skin.Then he smiled down at her. His smile did all kinds of strange things to her, making her heart pound after he left for LA. Her days of darkness and emptiness in rainy London now seemed like a lonely dream. She was in Scotland with Zander. And their child, a cute, four year old angel. Could she ask for more? No. It was enough to see how happy her daughter's face was when she saw her.Thea. She was a beautiful little girl who bounced and laughed a lot.She couldn't ask for more. Elvie smiled as she placed her hand on Thea's slee
One week later, after their simple civil wedding in the city, they returned to the mansion. Zander thought, at last, he could stop thinking about Elvie and their daughter. Boy, was he wrong.Walking a few blocks away from his office at midday, he thought fresh air would help, for starters. Zander found the nearest park and walked, ignoring the noise from tourists and families.Pros and cons. He didn’t want to live with anyone anymore. Not with Elvie, but he knew he couldn't ignore how different their situation is now. They have a beautiful daughter who did nothing but make his heart scream with happiness and laughter. Yes, he and Elvie were not sharing a room, and he made sure to ignore her most of the time. But of course, he knew how hard it was to just ignore the woman who seemed to plague his mind. Those beautiful eyes, her kindness, her sweetness, and her innocent plea for his time?"Damn it! I'm going insane!" he murmured to himself.How long has it been? Since he didn't think ab
"I'll think about it," she said, looking at him before finishing off her brownies. "We both have things to run. Taking time off work isn’t going to happen. Not if we want to keep our parental control over Thea running." "What do you mean?" "Zander, I'm not stupid, nor am I going to turn a blind eye over this unknown tension between us; I know there is something wrong with us. Still, if you want to be in your daughter's life, you need to find some time for her." She groaned mischievously before adding, "I'll do the same, I may accept your help with the job, but I'm not going to sacrifice my child's needs for the sake of it. I expect you to do the same, I hope I'm clear with that." He looked at her for a long time, like what he heard was just a figment of his imagination. But he knew he heard her right, loud and clear. "So you remember?" "I don't remember a thing just yet. Just a few bits and pieces, but I know there is something wrong with our marriage; I can see that in your eyes,
“I need you to turn my maybe into a definitely." Zander crawled into Elvie’s bed at the end of that gruelling Monday in the office. “Yeah, right. What are you doing here? Thea will—” “Come on, can a man get some time alone with his wife?” Elvie rolled her eyes, but she didn’t kick him out, even though a small, vindictive part of her wanted to. Life was too short to deprive yourself of spending time with those you love—something I’d learned the hard way. She thought to herself. His body seemed to mould into her massive mattress. Somehow, he fit. If there was one thing she’d realised this year, it was that sometimes they belong in the last place they thought they’d ever be. “Wife, let’s turn maybe into definitely.” “How can I do that?” she put her thriller in her lap and let his arm loop around her waist, dragging her into the crook of his shoulder. His lips fluttered along her neck. “Stay at SBC, stay with me no matter how this sh*t turns out. I can’t make it without you.” “Make
They went home to his mansion. To his cock’s disappointment, he slept in the master bedroom alone because Thea was sick and Elvie slept in her room. But it was still better than sleeping in a million-star hotel or at the Stanton Towers, which he couldn’t even look at after he’d learned what he had about his father not being his real father. He wasn’t the one who’d cheated on him. Yet Zander was the one who’d taken most of Matheo’s wrath. In the morning, Elvie gave her brother a shake from what looked like sewer water, green puke, and misery and slid a bowl of cereal his way. It wasn’t even a brand. It was poured right out of a six-pound industrial box with a Costco logo. “Where is the chef?” “Vacation…half of the staff too.” Elvie smiled. “Cavities and diabetes. Breakfast of champions,” Zander muttered into the bowl as he took a spoonful. “My apologies. Our room service doesn’t work on Mondays. Butler is sick. No chef, yeah so, stick with me!” Elvie took a seat next to her dad a
Zander set the papers down, sitting on the edge of her desk and lacing his fingers nonchalantly. So Matheo had planned it all along. The old cow killed his parents. His meeting Elvie, his falling in love with her, giving up on the Davis family—every single thing And he’d walked right into his trap. Well, almost. He would pay! Dearly. Zander thought to himself. He didn’t make the mistake of asking Elvie if she’d known about it. Of course she hadn’t. Instead, he focused on how to deal with this shit. “We’ve both been set up,” he said. “And he—the bastard—killed my parents!” His voice shuddered with enough hatred to melt the antarctic. And though he had his doubts before, he disregarded his instinct and thought that Matheo wasn't capable of doing such nineious things. “He—will pay! I will make sure he—” "Zander." She put a hand on his shoulder, and he resisted the urge to pull her into him and bury his face in her hair. “I'm sorry." Elvie had this touch that made sh*t go away. Bad shi
The word “music” comes from the Muses, goddesses of the arts in Greek mythology.I never said it before, because I thought it was tacky, but you’re my goddess (especially your ass).—ZanderJohn Lennon started his music career as a choir boy.I never said it before, because it terrified me to admit it, but you’re my church (although I plan to be inside you way more than just on Sundays).—ZanderYour heart mimics the beat of the music you’re listening to.I didn’t know I even had one before you came along, and now I do, and it hurts like a motherfucker (thanks for that).—ZanderRemember in university? I stole your iPod before you stole my wallet. It was tucked inside my jacket before I even removed your panties. I wanted to know what you were listening to. (And I was sorely disappointed there were no Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake songs in sight, because it made not falling for you so much fucking harder.)—ZanderI tried to tell myself I broke up my contract with Kristal and her f
Her heart was that of a lonely hunter.Yes and everything hurts.Elvie had always thought she was doomed by not being able to fall in love, but once she did fall, she wished she hadn’t. Now it hurt when she breathed, when she walked the hallways at work, and each time in between, when she caught sight of the person with a sharp suit and even sharper tongue moving past her, firing orders at Bella or bantering with the rest of the newsroom staff.A few weeks had passed. Four weeks after he’d shown up at her doorstep with flowers and chocolate, Zander had invited everyone into the conference room and announced that he’d given up his position and would only be staying for another month.After he made that announcement, he’d shot her a look, searching her face. Whatever he found there made him ask her to stay after the meeting was over so they could talk about it.She’d wanted to badly, but she knew nothing had changed. Though he often talked to Thea and visited her when he wasn't busy, he
Kristal had been a no-show during those terrible days, but he still remembered the flowers and pastry the family had sent every morning, her mother checking in on him, and her grandmother calling him three times a day to make sure he ate, showered, and breathed. Bella turned around, reaching for the door handle. Zander kept his face blasé. “Good luck explaining it to everyone, sir. Because let me tell you something—the moment Elvie walked into the room and into your life again, she changed you. It wasn’t profound. It was even more gradual, but it was there. In the way you started smiling, the way you softened towards your employees—just a little—and started doing the right thing by yourself and Kristal. But standing here?” She shook her head. “I think that man just bailed on us, and it saddens me because I was looking forward to working with and befriending the new Zander.” Fuck! Bella closed the door behind her, and he looked to the glass wall, catching Elvie unpacking her lunch a
Elvie was about to round the corner and turn onto the street when a limo pulled up at the curb and the passenger door flung open. Her eyes widened, and she stopped in an instant. Her brother was no Liam Neeson, and if she was going to get kidnapped, she very much doubted she could be saved. She turned around to look at the person getting out of the vehicle. It was Kristal, dressed to impress in what looked like a cocktail gown. She seemed to be alone.“Can I help you?” Elvie cocked her head. She wanted to be strong, but she was tired, hungry, and annoyed. And pissed at herself—so pissed that she’d let herself get carried away with a man like Zander Stanton. She usually made smart choices. She was a salad girl, and he was a deep-fried chocolate lava cake.“Me? No, though I’m sure you’ll do it at some point once you get fired, divorced, and have to become a waitress to support your slutty ways.” She walked towards her on her high heels. The limo driver looked the other way, like he coul
On the way to work, Gerald told her in her earbuds that they’re spending the treasure that love cannot afford, and Elvie nodded, not only to the rhythm but to the sentiment. Her shoes were blood red, and she’d spent the ride dying their laces black with a Sharpie.She walked into the office, not knowing what to expect. The professional side was going to be evidently extra depressing. But last night, Zander and she showcased their hearts like they were on a window display when they touched—crawling into each other’s mouths and seeping into each other’s souls. Then she’d left, without a message or a phone call. It was not her most mature moment, but she was sure he needed time to think too.Elvie walked the hallway, ignoring the judgy looks and raised eyebrows people tried to pin her with. One of the secretaries passed her and winced. She didn’t say anything, but one look at her face told Elvie she was in for an unpleasant surprise. What the hell was wrong with these people? Why on eart
Her legs were up before she knew it, carrying her to the exit. No explanation. No apologies. Elvie felt his grave steps thumping in her hollow chest as he followed her out. It was raining outside—the kind of dirty, humid rain to break the pulses of summer heat. It reminded her of the day they’d met at the university, of the carnal desperation that ate at her back then, and of the fact that she was still alone.Elvie felt his hand on my shoulder as he swivelled her around sharply. He jerked her into his arms.I didn’t want him to let go.I didn’t want him to keep me there, either. She thought.“I wish I’d never met you.” My fists pounded his chest, and he took it. Maybe because he knew he deserved it. His mouth pressed against my cheek felt like a rusty, hot blade. The world felt like it was ending, even though I knew it couldn’t be.The vane of his breath sliced through my ear. “I wish that, too.”That night, the sex was different.Slow, intense, and angry. Every thrust was a punishme