Some women you have sex with. Some women you sleep with. And then there are the women you have sex with and then sleep with. A whole night. And during that night, you cannot escape the warmth of their skin close against you on every blurry single occasion you half awaken, you sense their body in the darkness of the room, soft and pale so close to you it could be an extension of your own skin, and you have to repress the urge to pull her against your bulk and squeeze her to death as the tenderness races through your soul like a sweet poison invading your bloodstream, a runaway train with its ineffable cargo of lust and affection Those are the women who also break your heart. Those are the women who move your heart in quiet, ardent, hypnotic, mysterious ways. And she was one of those. No ifs and buts; no doubts about it. At the wrong time. In the wrong places. We’d met in the mountains. Snow fell on a picture postcard ski resort like a curtain of cotton buds floating, swirling down fro
My heart was melting and my soul was in turmoil. She drove me back to Fiumicino in her own car, and we almost ran out of petrol. I barely made my plane and there was no time for goodbyes. Which was better after all, I supposed. She’d also mentioned how much she disliked long, clumsy farewell scenes. In Barcelona in the Spring, she told me that while she waited for me to arrive, she couldn’t help herself and had masturbated herself on the hotel room bed we were about to share. Halfway through the first night, her period began. We fucked in blood with all the energy of despair, and damn the sheets. Her powerful body waltzing above me, impaled on me, and the flood of red bathing my loins as I grew softer and withdrew from her. My fingers checked my midriff in the room’s darkness and then spread the blood and come and sweat across her delicate breasts, like a painter celebrating the colours of the seasons on his unsteady easel. Flowers and books on the Ramblas on San Jordi’s day, tapas, h
Mark breaking a sweat unless he were running from a cop. But he had a sleek runner’s physique way back when. Could he have transformed himself to an athlete? Has he given up pot in favor of healthier substances? Has he hit the pavement to kill his demons? Googling takes my mind off my modern-day problems. Googling makes me forget about deadlines and pressures and what we’re going to have for dinner. Delivery pizza, again? Sounds good. Far easier to answer that mundane query than the other nagging questions pulling on me until my stomach aches: Should I pay the $29.95 and do a search of prison records? Because that’s where I’ll find him. I’m sure of it. I don’t enter my credit card. I don’t think I actually want to know. After spending hours on the computer, I dream about him. My eyes hurt and my head spins. I hit the pillow and recreate his image from the puzzle pieces that I remember: the black-ink Zig-Zag man tattoo on his upper arm. The way his blue eyes could turn grey or green de
He always sends me a tape so I can see what he did to me. I’ve never seen him except on screen. I have to blindfold myself before I go into his room. I know what he looks like from all the videos but he never wants me to see him when he’s doing it to me. He’s dark: good-looking. He films me. I was there two days ago. I took off my blouse in the hallway and he let me in. The first thing he did was touch my breasts. Then he forced me onto the floor, on my knees. I can see myself on the video, looking lost, not knowing where I am in the room. He is over by the window, opening the curtains. A yellow light shines in from a streetlight. He always does that so the neighbours can see. He brings back a length of cord and ties my hands behind my back. I remember at that point hearing him unzip himself, and on the film I can see myself flinch. He tells me to open my mouth. I gagged instantly. I can see myself gagging on the film. He filled my mouth with his cock and started forcing it down my t
Andrea bared her teeth, shoved the weapon harder and twisted it. Despite the chemical working its venomous magic, pain neurons sprang to life and Aaron’s leg twitched. An agonized groan escaped him. She relaxed as quickly as she had tensed to inflict the injury. Smiling once again, she said, “I can see what you’re thinking.” She chuckled. “Oh, don’t worry, I’m not going to separate you from your baton . . . or your lovely little castanets. God’s sake, Aaron, give me some credit for originality. That’s been done to death.” Still gripping the knife, Andrea rose and looked down at him. She inhaled then heaved a theatrical sigh. “Geez,” she said, “you’re bleeding all over the bed.” She snickered and turned away from him then went to the mirrored dresser. She laid the weapon down on the surface, opened up a small bag and took out a digital camera. A tiny beep sounded as she activated it then after making some adjustments, she pivoted to face the bed. “These will make really terrific public
My father glides in on his new motorized wheelchair. He rams into my mother’s three-thousand-dollar mahogany china closet filled with her precious collection of Rose Medallion china. Miraculously, he doesn’t break the glass or damage the china, but when he disengages the wheelchair there is a long scratch in the dark wood that is shaped like a scythe. Then, standing behind my father, the angel of death appears, his grey hooded burnoose stained with blood. With infinite care, he brings his scythe down towards my father’s neck. I draw back, horrified, shutting my eyes tight. When I open them again the grim reaper is gone. “You look just like your mother, honey,” my father says. I have repeatedly asked him not to call me honey because that was what he always called my mother. He has repeatedly ignored me. “But,” he goes on and his eyes stray to my breasts. I remember the day when he told me, a shy, scrawny teenager proud of my new tiny boobies, that I would have a good figure if only I h
The ghosts of her areolae were deliriously obvious beneath the flimsy material. Touching her body – and painfully aware of how close I was to properly touching her breasts – I came near to shivering in spite of the sweltering heat. “Well?” Katy prompted. She stroked my hand back and forth over her chest. Her skin was moist velvet with perspiration lubricating my caress. The ball of my thumb glanced against her breast and I was sure I felt the nipple stiffen. “Do you think that feels unattractive?” she asked. “I don’t recall touching anything that ever felt better,” I answered honestly. Her questioning expression turned into a mischievous grin. She lowered my hand to one breast so I was cupping her through a film of damp cotton. In the stillness of that moment I could feel her pulse through the hard bead of flesh that sat at the center of my palm. “In that case,” she whispered, “if perspiration suits me so much, why don’t you see if you can make me sweat a little more?” It was the beg
During my Beloved’s lifetime his penis was of great importance to me how could it be otherwise? Of course there was much more to my Beloved than his penis. For instance there was his tongue. I don’t merely refer to his skill at licking, but also to all the words he said to me (except, obviously, while licking). Words are so important to a woman during love, just as they are in the everyday aspects of life. Also, there were his dark eyes, which spoke volumes of silent poetry. Also, there were his arms which held me. I need not enumerate more – there was all of Oliver. When my Beloved suddenly died of a heart attack, how desperately I craved to have him back again, alive. This was possible due to advances in rapid cloning. However, a whole body cost a small fortune. Oliver and I had never given much thought to the morrow. Even by availing myself of a special offer from the Bodies’r’Us Clinic, and by paying on the instalment plan, the most I could afford was the cloning of a small part
The accidental brush of a hand. A knowing look across a room. The tilt of a head toward the door. Signals shared between spouses at a party? I suppose. In this case, they were signals shared between lovers whose spouses were oblivious. William was drunk. It wasn’t apparent in his demeanor, but I knew the signs. He brushed by me on his way through the kitchen and his hand touched my ass. Lingered there for a good minute as he blocked the path of two other guests trying to get by. I glared at him, knowing it didn’t matter. “Had too much to drink?” “Not too much. Enough to know what I want,” he said. He leaned close, stirring the hair on my neck as he whispered, “We’re leaving soon. Meet me.” I didn’t have a chance to say no or, rather, ask where and when, because my husband came toward us. As if sensing that his territory had been encroached upon, he wrapped his hand around my waist and gave me a little squeeze. William’s hand moved from my ass at about the same moment and I wondered i
The choices were chicken breast or a T-bone steak. Everyone had a plate but me. Finally, a lone dish came trailing out. It was cold pasta with sun-dried tomatoes. Lisa had remembered my fear of bones. I hadn’t eaten meat since I cut the top of my middle finger off when I was twelve. Now every time I saw a bone I felt sick. If the pasta had been served when it was made a week ago, I might have managed to choke it down, but it was inedible. I arranged my tomatoes in the middle with the dry lifeless noodles around them. A waiter stopped in front of me to take my plate. He saw what I’d done. “I’m artistic,” I said. He whisked it away. I was starving, and I was buzzed from the second glass of champagne. A little thought danced in the back of my head. What had Lisa said about a dessert? She had chosen a lovely mousse. Of course, it had to be chocolate. They brought it out. Why was my chocolate mousse pink? It was strawberry. It was like ordering a diet cola and getting a fully leaded one.
I hated weddings. Nothing good for me has ever come of them. For example, the last wedding I went to, I ended up alone at a table with my great-aunt while all the couples swooned about on the dance floor. Their closely pressed bodies seemed to be saying aren’t we the lucky ones as the white paper streamers delicately fluttered on the ceiling. Meanwhile, my great-aunt was going on about some freaking tea party she claimed she had for me in Florida when I was four years old. I don’t remember Florida. I don’t remember her, except for meeting her in the receiving line two hours ago. What did I get from attending this blissful event? A paper cut from my place card, a cranky buzz from cheap champagne and a regretful comment I slurred to my great-aunt at the end of the night. “I won’t be you,” I called out in her direction. I didn’t know what that meant, because I hardly knew her. I think it was directed more at what she represented, an old crone sitting alone at a wedding banquet table wit
I went up north, ready to scour all the ports on the Baltic. I ended up in Hamburg. In the evening, I wandered in Sankt Pauli. Girls in their windows, boxed in tackiness, with an air of decent housewives displaying their asses. Not one worth fucking, but men were there, strolling about, eyeing them. My God, they looked like first communicants walking slowly to the altar to receive the host! Monumental hard-ons because that one shakes her tits under their noses and they imagine themselves stuffing their pricks in the holy of holies! You bet they haven’t grown one inch since the time when, as adolescents, they shut themselves in the toilet to jerk off out of sight of their mommy’s eyes! Men’s desire disgusts me. It was certainly not in those alleyways with no dark corners, where the gaudy pink neons filter, that I was going to meet the man from Albuquerque. It was down to the wharves I had to go . . . I hung about between the angular shadows of the container stacks waiting to be loaded
I was half-drunk with lack of sleep, standing in the hot white buzz of Central Station while hordes of commuters bumped past me with their sharp suits and shoulder pads and brief cases. I stood there blinking and yawning. What the hell was I doing up at this hour? The answer, of course, was Sam. I growled at the thought of his stubbornness, at the selfish way he’d announced he was leaving to make his fortune. Hotfooting it to London like a carefree bird. Not for a second had he stopped to think of how it would screw up our relationship – four hundred miles between us was a serious blow. The salvation of our bickering, up-and-down love affair was the Olympic sex we indulged in most mornings, afternoons and evenings. We could hammer away for hours, and he took me places I’d never thought possible, body twisted into breathtaking positions, him so deep inside me it felt like blasphemy. After he left, my sex life became a sudden blank. I was left gasping with shock, reeling from the terri
She wanted to be wanted by her It almost made her cry. It was something she thought she’d left when Wendy had left to find someone even more subservient. Having it back was almost too much for her to handle: the fear that it could go again. Slowly, June had stood up on the lumpy futon, unbuttoned her jeans, and then, teasingly, dropped her panties. She did it slowly because while it seemed that all she and Betty did was fuck, the magic of their bodies hadn’t rubbed off yet. She had loved to get naked in front of Betty, watching her eyes dance and hunger for her. It was a little chilly in the apartment, so June left her T-shirt on. “Make like a doggie, love,” Betty had said, “It’s easier that way.” Slowly, kind of scared, June had: she got down on the futon, first on her hands and knees and then – ’cause her arms started to ache – leaning down on a pillow. “So pretty,” Betty said from behind her. The kiss was kind of a shock. June had been so psyched to receive the brilliantly blue sil
Somewhere, June lost her flannel shirt and the black girl had lost her jeans and shoes. She had circled her big, hard nipples with hot kisses as she squeezed June’s cunt through her own jeans like a trick fondling a John. June couldn’t keep the hissing moan in, so she had let it out into the girl’s mouth – feeling it echo through her as her own hand cupped a shaved and slippery cunt. With Wendy it had been walking on eggs. Her first real lover, June had treated Wendy like she was priceless, fragile – even though Wendy was five years older than June’s 26. June had barricaded them in June’s tiny place against her being alone again and tried to do whatever it would take to keep Wendy there. If Wendy liked something, June did it. If Wendy didn’t like it . . . it never happened again After a point, June followed Wendy everywhere. Never led. Tried not to want, desire, anything. But then, there, in the kitchen that night something different was happening – it was June and her. No top, no bot
The Boy drops to the floor and I feel him at my feet, nuzzling my ankles then crawling under my sarong. I spread my legs for him and feel him rising, the heat of him on my skin, his shorn, silky head, his tongue trailing a path up my inner thighs. He pulls down my knickers and I feel him between my legs, his hot breath on my cunt before his tongue, so delicate and perfect, dances over my clit and squirms into my folds. Oh, my. That tongue has truly been places. Like his eyes, it could be a thousand years old, a tongue that’s pleasured geisha girls, ladyboys and Babylonian whores. Fingers fill my cunt, a thumb rubs my arsehole and moments later I’m coming hard, gasping around Uncle’s cock, Uncle clutching my head, keeping me steady for fear I neglect his pleasure in favour of my own. “She’s a slippery little bitch, isn’t she, huh?” Uncle’s voice is loud enough to carry across the chamber. He’s talking to someone else; not to the Boy, and certainly not to me. I pull back and turn, wipin
Fear thumps me in the gut but I cannot scream. I cannot move either. I can’t do anything. I just gawp, rooted to the spot. He smirks and turns away. I think I must be in one of my dreams. Soon, I tell myself, I’ll wake at the hotel and I’ll straddle Tom’s cock in a trance of remembering. I’ll rock back and forth, head swimming with a post-human dystopia, a stinking medieval market peopled with DNA freaks or interspecies offspring. Look around and they all seem perfectly normal till you spot their webbed feet, forked tongues, folded wings or dog-fang teeth. And I’ll climax and so will Tom. Then we’ll get up, have breakfast, take a bus to a town with tiled palaces, koi carp and orange trees, and we’ll buy something lovely in Spanish leather or cedar wood and everything will be all right. The Boy creeps forwards. I’m so scared and I’m so wet. But wet is winning. I follow, turning a corner then another until he ducks into a small archway in the wall. Moments later, I’m there too, head dow