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Chapter 72
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2024-03-10 14:30:53[ANASTASIA]
For better or for worse, Ivan and I fall into a new routine.
After returning home from Kazan, Ivan makes it impossible for me to ignore him. The moment we are alone, he’s all over me. And if I were to be honest, I’m just as much all over him.
It’s as if the denial, reluctance, and absolute rationality that always guided me to keep myself at a safe distance from him suddenly snapped, and now, I can’t come up with a single decent reason to suppress what Ivan and I unwittingly unleashed in that hotel room that night.
My hands ache to touch his body, my heart swells at every little word of praise and admiration that slips out of his mouth when he talks about how perfect I am.
What kind of insane demon is possessing me? Am I really this desperate that I will willingly destroy the fragile self-control I’ve built up so painstakingly over these past few years just to let it go to hell the moment he
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[IVAN]“How long are you going to drag out this matter?” Dimitri says on the phone, making me roll my eyes as I pull a shirt from the closet and lay it on the bed.“There’s nothing wrong with being overly cautious, now, is there?” I put the phone on speaker and toss it on the bed as well. Then, I pick the shirt up and slide my arms through the sleeves, buttoning it up.“You don’t trust him,” he says matter-of-factly, and I can almost imagine him pinching those thick eyebrows of his.“I don’t trust anyone.” It comes out more curt than intended, but it’s the truth. You have no idea how many people you have in your life who will stab you in the back just because they think it’s funny. Especially when it comes to the elite world of organized crime. We were bred to survive and become ruthless, so most of us have developed a ‘fend for yourself’ mentality when it comes to our lives.“That’s not true. You trust me.” He reasons, but that only makes me scoff.“I tolerate you. Barely. But mainly
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[ANASTASIA] I have never seen Ivan so hurt before. I mean, back when he doubted my love and loyalty to him, he expressed his anger the most. Perhaps it was hurt too, but he always held his emotions in check every time we had a confrontation. As if he couldn’t trust me with his raw emotions anymore. But now. Now, I don’t know what to think. I have never seen him so bothered by anything that came out of my mouth these days. The kind of person he is, he always took my insults in stride, never batting an eye. And yet, this time, it was different. He was so… hurt. But it doesn’t change a thing. Ivan is the one who broke us, after all. He’s the reason we’re so estranged now. He’s the reason we grew apart. He’s the reason we can’t go back to what we used to be. Then why? Why do I feel like I did something terrible? Why does my heart pinch every time his face comes to my mind? I couldn’t have said anything worse than I already did so many times in the past. How different could it be th
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[NIKOLAI] “So, you’re just letting me go?” I ask, though it seems rather obvious now that I’m not locked up in a room anymore. I rub my wrist, glad the cuffs are off. The skin is still sore from where they were chafing it. “You’re free to go, yes,” Dimitri says. “Orders from the boss. Can’t help it.” He then walks over to the bar and pours himself a drink. He doesn’t offer me one. Not that I expect him to. We haven’t seen each other eye to eye for a very long time. And something that hasn’t happened before, I can’t expect it to happen now out of the blue. That would be completely out of his character. If there’s ever a man who knows how not to give a shit, it has to be Dimitri Alexeev. “So, what happens now?” I ask, frowning, not sure what game Ivan’s playing here. I have to know why he’s letting me go so easily. Is that because he doesn’t trust my information? Or because he has something else in mind? “I don’t know, Nikolai. What do you want to happen now?” Dimitri asks, his vo
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[IVAN]“Papa, can I come with you, please?”I pause on my footsteps and turn around to find my little daughter pleading with me with her puppy dog eyes. This is so not fair. She knows I can’t fight it. But despite being aware of her clever plan, I can’t help but succumb.I squat down and give her a gentle smile. “Papa would love nothing more than that,” that’s a lie, but not entirely. I would love to take my daughter places. I would love to show her around. But my profession doesn’t exactly allow me to be so open about it to my family. It took me months to explain everything to Ana. I wonder how long it would take for me to tell my daughter that her daddy isn’t some good man who does a nine-to-five job, but rather a mafia boss whose life is at stake every day.However, despite the common notion, danger doesn’t always lurk around the corner. For the most part, it’s very peaceful. So I guess today can be an exception. I wonder what Ana would say about that. She would kill me for sure.“
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[ANASTASIA] “So what would you like to do, Princess?” My gaze shifts to my daughter, who’s sitting in the backseat and looking outside the window with a wide smile on her face. She’s so excited about today. I can see it in her eyes. I wish I had that kind of innocence and freedom. But unfortunately, it has been taken away from me the moment I joined Ivan’s world. Speaking of Ivan, the man who’s the root cause of all my problems. He’s sitting beside me, his hand on the wheel and the other arm resting on the backrest of my seat. I know he’s trying to play a good husband, a good father, and perhaps a well-round family person, but that’s not enough. Not right now. Right now he’s being nothing but a pain in my ass. First, he’s keeping a gun in his car, which is absolutely visible to the naked eye. How careless is that? He might as well have a ‘Mafia Boss’ sign hanging over his head. Next, he’s driving too fast. What’s wrong with him? Why is he so obsessed with speed? Lastly, and the mo
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[ANASTASIA]Before I can respond, he pulls me close again, kissing me harder than before. His tongue pushes into my mouth, and his fingers dig into the soft flesh of my ass. I moan, and my knees go weak.The next thing I know, Ivan is picking me up, and I wrap my legs around his waist almost instinctively, my body pressed against his. He walks us towards the counter, but then he takes a sharp right and slams my back against the cold wall. I can feel his hardness poking against me, and it makes me shiver.At least, we are out of Tatiana’s sight.My fingers grip the front of his shirt, and I pull him closer, my tongue dancing with his. My heart beats faster, and the butterflies in my stomach grow wild. I can’t believe I’m doing this. I should not be clinging to my criminal husband as if my life depended on it. But something has swerved inside me. Something that always pushes me towards him. Something that makes me want to
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[IVAN]“How bad is it?” I stride down the long corridor, Dimitri right behind me. “And why the hell didn’t you call me right away? Was waiting for him to fucking die?”Dimirti sighs, probably frowning at himself. “I thought we could handle it.”I shake my head. “Of course.”We continue walking down the dark corridor until a room arrives with its lights turned on. Beeping sounds emanate from within, and right when we reach outside, a nurse dashes out with a tray full of blood-soaked towels. She barely glances up, and continues hurrying out of sight.I stop and hesitate to walk inside. This was not supposed to happen. Not like this.I turn around and glare at Dimitri. “What the hell happened?”Dimitri drops his gaze to the floor, his posture stiff. “It was a small delivery, pakhan. I told him to keep his mouth shut. But something happened and a shoo
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[ANASTASIA]When Ivan returns home this morning, he’s lost in his own mind.I watch him enter through the main doors, walk over to the sofa, and collapse on it.He looks exhausted.I pour some water for him in a glass and head over to where he sits. “Here.”“Thank you, malysh.”He sits up straight, and I place the glass of water in his hand. His fingers graze over the tips of mine, and he smiles up at me.I smile back, even though his mind is somewhere else.I take a seat next to him and face him as soon as he guzzles down the entire glass of water. “So, what happened?”“Sidorov is dead.”His words fill me with confusion and sympathy. I have no idea who the man is but it’s obvious Ivan cares about him. I also know that it always hits him hard whenever he loses one of his men. Ivan takes his position as the pakhan seriously, and I know it can be stressful for him, though he doesn’t complain too much.I scoot closer and wrap my arms around him. “I’m so sorry. What happened?”He leans ag
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[ANASTASIA]“Mommy!”One word, and my heart shatters into a million pieces.Before I even turn my gaze to the door, warmth floods through me, and tears well up in my eyes.My little girl comes running into the room, her dark hair pulled back in a ponytail bouncing with every step. Her eyes are sharp, excited, and filled with so much love. Her face is a canvas of every emotion I’ve ever seen her wear in my entire life.I don’t even realize it, but my arms open on their own, my chest aching to feel her little heart against mine.But just when I think she’s about to jump onto the bed and throw herself into my arms, she stops and stands there with her hands behind her back, her little legs fidgeting as she looks up at the doctor, her small eyes seeking some kind of permission.I suppose the last two months have changed a lot. My daughter, who used to storm in and out of any place she wanted, now suddenly looks afraid of hurting me.Tears race down my face. I wipe them as quickly as I can,
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[ANASTASIA]“How long was I out?” I whisper, lips trembling. “How long was I unconscious?”Lena, now standing in front of me, looks like the words are stuck in her throat. She swallows thickly and squeezes my hand, a sad smile playing on her lips.“Two months,” she says, but it feels like she’s talking about someone else. “You’ve been in a coma for two months.”This can’t be true. It can’t be.Tears burn my eyes. My heart feels like it’s on fire. “What the hell do you mean by that? How can I be… how is that even… I can’t… I mean… this can’t be…”I don’t even know what I’m trying to say, but I know I don’t believe her.Frustration grates beneath my skin. “Just call Ivan. If he says the same as what you’re all saying, then I’ll believe you. Just call him, Lena. Where is he anyway? Shouldn’t he be here? Sitting next to me, taking care of me? He promised he’d never leave my side again. He promised, Lena. He fucking promised.”“I know,” she sobs, wiping her face with the back of her hand.
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[DIMITRI]A week later, we both sit in the car and stare at the huge gates ahead.“This is it, I guess,” she says softly, for the first time not so eager to talk about leaving.It’s strange how the last few days changed everything. They changed me. Who would have thought an asshole like me could ever fall for an angel like her? Nadia is an angel. She’s the most beautiful, pure-hearted, a little fiery, but the best of the angels out there. In fact, if you ask me, she’s the only angel out there.My angel.I let out a sigh. “Yep. This is it.” I turn to look at her and can’t help grabbing the back of her head, pulling her in for a kiss. A long, deep, and passionate kiss. I don’t think I’ll ever get enough of her—her lips, her body, everything about her. “I’m going to miss you like hell.”She grins, her pale blue eyes twinkling, her stubborn blonde curls escaping the trap of her knitted cap. “I’ll miss you like hell too. In fact,” she brushes her nose against mine, “I think I’m going to mi
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[DIMITRI]I should’ve known my words would get twisted like that. And of course, it would end up hurting my woman in the worst way possible.But God knows that wasn’t my intention. I just have a crude way of speaking and often forget not everyone can take it. It’s an old habit, one I need to work on changing.I cup Nadia’s face, wiping her tears with my thumb. I should be comforting her after everything she just blurted out, but instead, I can’t help it—I start laughing. I can’t stop until she looks up at me like I’ve completely lost it.Her eyebrows snap and her lips upturn in a deep frown. “You think it’s funny?”“No!” I shake my head, meaning it, but laughter simply bubbles out of me. I turn around to take a breather, and when I think I’m in better control of myself, I turn back around to face her.Only to find her gone.Whatever lingering smile on my face dies right away. “Nadia?”I glance toward the door and see her rushing out of the room.“Shit!” I bolt after her down the hallw
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[NADIA]After getting another round of hot sex out of our system, with both stayed sprawled out on the carpeted floor of his office, with me using his arm as a pillow.I sigh. “I can’t believe the kind of stamina I suddenly have.”Dimitri chuckles, the deep sound vibrating through my entire body. “And I can’t believe I get to make love to a woman without her screaming within five minutes how she can’t handle someone like me.”I turn over my stomach, resting my chin on his chest. “Really?”“Yep!” He says, casually, entwining my fingers with his and kissing the tips of each one. “You’re the only one to never have complained about anything. Not even my ugly face.”“Hey,” I shush him, placing my finger on his lips. “Never say that again.”He quirks up a brow. “Why? You want me to say I’m fucking beautiful instead.” He rolls his eyes.“You ARE beautiful,” I say, more stubbornly because he seems to be in the mood to not take me seriously. I can tell. I sure as hell can. “Sure, you have scar
