CHAPTER 4: HAVE YOU OR SAVE YOU

It took him a few days to finally decide on what to do. He needed to break up with Flora to appease his mother. He needed to buy time to find a way to turn her attention away from Flora. The only problem was that breaking up with a longtime girlfriend out of the blue was difficult. He needed to fabricate a story and make sure the story was believable. 

After arriving at Flora's house, all the stories he had weaved choked him. It seemed like an eternity passed while he sat on her sofas. Every word he uttered caused the tension to rise in the room, stifling him and shaking his already frail composure. 

Samuel didn't know how he managed, but he finally told her.

They spent the next few minutes in silence, his head bowed and eyes focused on the tips of his shoes. When he lifted his head, Flora looked down at her knotted fingers. The drive to her house had been surreal. Every meter of the trip, he tried to think of a way to go against his mother, some path he could take that wouldn’t let her win. Years of his life, he had given her years. All of her whims, he tolerated. He forgave that she never stood up for him when it came to his siblings, forgave that she even indulged them on several occasions. He bore her anger without malice, and now she was ruining his life.

“W-wait, repeat that.” Samuel licked his lips nervously and lowered his eyes, unable to look at the confusion on her face. All he wanted was for the ground to open up and swallow him whole. 

“You met someone some months back, and now, you are breaking up with me because you … you're in love with her? What stupidity is this? If it’s a sort of joke, I am not amused.”

“I never… I don’t mean to offend or hurt you. I-I have been trying to say it fo-for a while now.”

“Liar. We spoke last week; we spoke a few days ago, and you didn’t sound like this. Why are you doing this? You don’t just fall out of love with someone from one day to the next. Two weeks ago, we discussed moving in together and living somewhere in town. How do you now come at me with this?”

Samuel stood, and she looked up at him before standing as well. “I know this is hard, and you’d…it would be hard to forgive and understand me. I only hope that one day, you’d be able to forgive my callousness.”

“Callousness? This is madness! Tell me what’s really going on, baby, please.” Samuel wiped his eyes, unable to bear more of her tears and pain, but when he tried to leave, she dragged him back, cupping his face in her hands to make him look at her. “Samuel, it's me. I am right here. You can tell me the truth. You can tell me what's going on with you. Please, let’s work this out together.”

“There is nothing to work out.”

Her face was tear-streaked, but he could see she was trying to work through her anger and frustration so she could reason with him. 

“Is it that you love us both or something? You feel attracted to this other girl, and you want us to separate so…” she hiccupped and shook her head. “So, you don’t hurt the both of us. Is that it?”

Unable to help himself, he hugged her tightly, to her surprise. Though she was angry, she didn’t push him away. Instead, Flora embraced him as well, clutching the material of his shirt in her hands. 

“Samuel whatever it is, we can handle it together. Don’t do this.”

With a good lawyer, there was a chance that Flora would not even see the insides of prison; but that chance was thin. A good lawyer might save her, but then there was also her father’s situation. 

Samuel wasn’t one to make excuses. What they did was dangerous and illegal, even if they were backed into a corner. No judge would care for the desperation that drove them to the crime. He would only see the crime. Flora might survive prison, but her father might not and Samuel didn’t know which would be worst to handle.

Could she still love him after his mother ruins her family?

“Samuel?”

He held her tighter, his fingers digging into her forearm as he leaned down to kiss the top of her head. “I can't imagine that I can make you understand why I am doing this. Just know that I am truly sorry for all the pain I am causing you. Please forgive me.”

She growled and pushed him hard; his arms fell away, and she shoved him again until he staggered farther back. Her hair, which had been combed straight when he arrived at her house, was now messy and rough. The warm smile she usually had on was gone and replaced with grief and disillusionment. All of which Samuel accepted wholeheartedly. 

There was a chance he could tell her the truth. His mother would never know that he explained the entire situation to Flora. Samuel had turned that scenario over and over in his head. Instead of breaking her heart, he could explain what his mother wanted him to do and why he needed to do it. It was to save her, to save her father. 

The only problem was, with his mother’s condition that he marry someone else, Flora would never take the ultimatum sitting quietly. She wouldn’t agree to pretend if it meant going along with watching him marry someone else. She would fight him on it, and his mother would realise what he had done at some point. 

That would lead to more of a disaster.

So, the best situation was to have her hate him enough to stay away. Samuel had no idea when he would be able to tell Flora the truth, but until he figured something out, he had little choice. 

“I don’t know what to say to you right now.” She wiped her eyes and sucked in a lung full of air. Her chest rose and fell with effort. “There is something you are not telling me. I know it. You are not that type of man. I know you. You would never even look at another woman.”

“I am sorry.” Was all he managed to repeat. 

He left the house immediately. This time, Flora didn’t try to stop him. She collapsed to the floor in tears, and he briskly walked out the door before he felt compelled to go to her. If he did that, he would hug her and kiss her, which would only solidify her doubt that something was wrong with his story. He needed to keep his distance, so he revved the car to life and burnt rubber, driving out of the town area and back into the city towards his apartment. 

His misery was only beginning. For as long as his mother wished, he would lie to everyone. His father, his siblings, and the woman he loved. All for a goal that he didn’t even know.