7

The sunlight hit me. I stretched sleepily, feeling my body a little sore from the sleepless night and I sit on the bed. It takes me a while to think through where I am or who I'm with, what happened yesterday, but when I remember, I swallow hard.

"I thought you were dead." - The serious voice sounded through the room.

I remembered clearly. I turned my face to the side and saw Kaanadan, sitting in an armchair while looking at me. The sun beat down on him too, but lighter than on me. Just as he swore yesterday before going to sleep, Kaanadan did not consummate the marriage, nor did he touch me — I know because I barely slept and his body always had his back to me.

I scratched the back of my neck and ran a hand through my clearly disheveled hair. - I wish. - I murmur and I hear him sigh heavily.

Kaanadan gets up and walks towards the bed. I watch him, seeing him sit down next to me. I turn away, but he looks at me even more seriously.

"Why are you still running?" Kaanadan asks and watches my face. Something in his voice sounds different, like he's not exactly asking me. Or for me just another way.

- I do not trust you. - I say. “You don't seem to be trustworthy.

Kaanadan focuses on my eyes and I flinch. I'll never understand why her gaze bothers me so much. I think it can be worse than my father's looks.

"I already told you I won't hurt you. - The same says firm. "What else do you want?"

I remain silent, seeing that Kaanadan returns to look at me somberly. He snorts and runs his hand over his face.

- He forgets. he finally says, laying down on the bed and throwing his arms behind his head. His gaze comes on me and I try not to show my annoyance. "It won't be long before they come for the sheet." They usually come early to speed up the show.

"And how is that?" I ask, feeling embarrassed just imagining myself in that scene.

- Nothing else. The married women in my family will come to pick up the sheet and take it to the living room, where everyone is already waiting to begin. They'll probably ask about how the night was, and at that moment... - The same goes back to sitting on the bed. “I need you to lie very well.

I feel a cold wind in my belly.

I nod, averting my gaze from his so close. Accidentally this detour made me look at his torso, and then I see his tattoos, several indented alongside very visible scars. Kaanadan's skin is lit up by the sun, and so I see his muscles are well defined and hard. I realized I was staring at him too much and shook my head, blinking several times as I glanced up, having a quick heartbeat as I saw Kaanadan give me a more open look.

The sun is still shining on her face, and I can see the thin greenish ring that circles her pupil, before the blue takes over her entire iris.

I think we're too close.

I grip the mattress to pull away, but Kaanadan grabs my waist and stops me. I stare at him scared, fearing he'll do what she swore to me not to do last night. My breath catches and I see the tall one take another sigh.

— Second time you back off... I'm not going to do anything, I've said it a thousand times.

I look down to try to catch my breath. Honestly, I don't like being so close.

"Can you look at me, Celeste?"

"Can you not look at me like you're going to attack me?" ’ I ask, still breathless. “That's what scares me.

I feel his finger on my chin and then my head is lifted. His eyes haven't changed, but I try to hold his gaze, if only to get him to let go.

Kaanadan stares into my eyes as intensely as he has at other times. That's what makes me fear his actions, not because it's scary, but because it's almost impossible to understand why or what he thinks when he looks at me. Does he see my fear? Does that make you happy? Does that corner me in a cage with no escape?

That's when I feel your pulse. Something different, and insider. I swallow hard and feel my stomach tighten. I take my hand discreetly on my thigh, and soon I see Kaanadan staring at it.

“It's better not to.

I close my hand and walk away from him.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" I pull away a little more and I see Kaanadan change his expression. Now keeping it clean and unread.

"I think you'd better change." They will arrive quickly.

I agree and drag myself out of bed. I get up quickly, heading towards the bathroom, where I grab a long blue robe and put it on, tucking it in tightly before heading back to the bedroom.

As I returned to the bedroom, I watched as Kaanadan placed the holster with the gun and knife over his bare chest. Also a small strap on the thigh, where I saw the cut I caused already creating a light protective layer. She is soon covered.

I leaned against the doorframe and watched his body move. I don't have any confidence in Kaanadan, but I'm not so blind as to deny that the sight of him is magnificent with all his height, muscles and intense air. It was something that, in a way, any woman would want, and for a few seconds my mind even gave a hint of curiosity about something else... my plan works.

He looks at me and I feel my face blush, at the same time I look away and look at the bed sheet, messy and with a red stain that I have to say is mine, when in fact it is Kaanadan's.

— It's good that you covered your thighs and hips well, do that when you go down too, it will be easier when they ask if I left marks on you. - Kaanadan says and approaches. I give him an automatic disgust face, but while I think he's going to be nervous, so is he… having fun?

"You men are very strange...

Kaanadan nods in disbelief at the speech. “Women too. Like you, who seems to be something delicate and out of nowhere stabbed me.

“Protection. Just that.

“We like to brag. Just that.

I glared at him and shook my head in disbelief.

"But there's something that's hard to hide... your face."

I stared at him scared. Kaanadan leaned over me and his hand came together towards my face. I backed away quickly, looking at him terrified.

- Third time retreating... - The same says with a light voice. Almost as if he feared I would walk into the bathroom and trap myself there.

"I thought you were going to…" My voice cracked.

Kaanadan totally changed her expression, going from calm to confused. - What? Do you think I would... No, Celeste, I don't hit women.

I can almost hear my relieved sigh. A great weight of fear lifted, knowing that at least this I wouldn't have to endure again. Neither his nor my father's.

I took a deep breath and lifted my gaze to Kaanadan. “Well, then… not bad.

Kaanadan almost (almost) smiled at my relief.

"Just one question: How do you want people to believe you had a one-night stand with me if you won't let me touch you?"

“Pretty easy to answer. If I had one night with you, I wouldn't even look at you. Is that what will make them sure that you were the monster everyone knows and that made me fear you and finish... - I point to the bed. - on that. Ultimately, the further back I go, the more they will believe.

"Was it created by a Consigliere?"

I shrug. “My uncle is one.

Kaanadan nodded impressed and then again he leaned towards me, I didn't flinch, assuming it was a test of his. But then his hand touched my face and I shuddered at not being what I imagined.

- What...

- I'm explaining what I wanted to say... - He looked at me and I stopped. “I didn't want marks on your face, but change the fact that you don't look like someone who's been kissed.

My eyes widened and I almost laughed at the obvious. But too confused, I just stared at him.

"As if you didn't know that I...

Before I could finish the sentence, his lips collided with mine. I brought my hands to his chest, but I didn't push him, even though that was the plan. My mind was more in a tailspin than my entire body that didn't know how to react to something totally unpredictable. I felt his tongue tease my lips and I didn't even see the moment I gave in and then I was dragged into his lead, having his lips snatch my mouth.

It was weird. Totally different from what my college friends said. I allowed this act, it wasn't unpleasant, but it still caused some discomfort. Or... shock. My eyes were closed, and I could feel more than just his demanding kiss. His full, stubbly beard scratched my lips and my skin as it tickled. His hand on my face, now they entered my hair and massaged, while on my waist, I felt his arm hold me not brutally. Just as I felt in my hands how much his body was held over mine.

It was good... very good.

I completely lost track of time, and I only realized when an insistent knock sounded at the door and Kaanadan pulled away from me, looking at me so intensely that I could have sworn I was looking at him in the same way. The knocking got worse, and soon Kaanadan was gone. I shivered, and certainly not just from the cold.

I watched him and my eyes widened when I saw a certain volume in his underwear. Kaanadan caught my gaze and soon I looked elsewhere, my face feeling hot.

Curse!

***

I finished getting ready, putting on a long orange summer dress. The heels were still missing, but I kept getting ready slowly. The women had already taken the sheets, just me and Kaanadan downstairs to start.

Kaanadan was in the bathroom, emerging into the bedroom with a towel over his shoulder while already in his pants. I bent down to pick up the dagger belt and saw Kaanadan watching me. He soon followed to grab a shirt, and his gaze was still intense, especially when he stared at my body.

"You're sorry, aren't you?" I ask quietly, knowing that any other man would rape his wife without an ounce of consideration. It was always like that, and knowing that Kaanadan held back... could be a sign of weakness on his loyal side to the mafia, just as my retreating and my visible fear is a sign of dishonor on my side.

Kaanadan was buttoning the last few buttons of the white shirt he would wear under his black jacket. The same was silent and I preferred it that way, maybe it was better for no one to have real points with each other. I was walking past him to pick up my heels when his voice vibrated:

"No." I looked back at him, being off my heels, having to lift my head to look him straight in the eyes. “When I have your body, I want it because you want it too, not out of fear or obligation. I want to give you pleasure, Celeste, not pain...

He turned his attention to the clothes and I paused a bit. I took a while staring at his back, until I finally managed to get out of where I was and go get my heels.