The New Me

After leaving the woods, I barely manage to pull myself together long enough to reach home. The moment I step inside, the walls of my room close in on me. I live alone, no parents, no siblings, nothing. Just amplifying the emptiness left by Ethan’s rejections.

My parents died when I was just a toddler. I have to memory or recollection of them and I was an only child, I stayed in the pack house, until I was 16. With the savings my parents left for me, I used that to purchase a small house in the pack. I collapse onto my bed, the silence heavy and suffocating.

My phone buzzes, snapping me out of my thoughts. I glance at my phone, it’s a call from my best friend Ivy. For a moment, I consider letting it go to voicemail, but something in me- a desperate need for distraction- makes me answer.

“That fuck bastard Ethan! He doesn’t deserve you Amelia.” Ivy voice exclaim over the phone.

 I wince at her words. The news had reach my best friend too. I take it everyone knew. “Yea, thanks,” I mutter, not in the mood for sympathy.

“No,” Ivy shout firmly, “We’re not doing this. You’re not sitting at home wallowing on your freaking birthday of all days. Bitch get up and get ready, we’re going out tonight. Drinks, dancing, the whole nine yards.”

I hesitate, but Snow nudges at the back of my mind, her voice a soft whisper. “Maybe she’s right, Amelia. We shouldn’t be alone right now.”

I sigh, rubbing my temples. I glance around my room. The idea of sitting here alone, drowning in self-pity, is unbearable. So, what the hell? Why not?

I guess I remained silent for too long on the phone because Ivy voice sounded one the phone. “Come on, don’t let him win by staying home crying. You need to show him you’re stronger than this. We’ll have fun, I promise.” She pleads.

“Okay,” I agree, surprising myself. “Let’s do it.”

“That’s my girl!” Ivy cheers. “Get dressed, babe. I’ll be there in an hour.”

I hang up, laying there for a moment, gathering the will to move. Then, with a new determination, I head to my closet. If I’m going out, I’m going all out. I pick out the a little black dress that hugs my curves in all the right places and pair it with my highest heels. I’m going to look good and feel good, even if it kills me.

…. An hour later, I’m standing in front of the mirror, inspecting my reflection. I’ve really gone all out. With the tight black dress and heels. My smoky cat eye makeup, complimented with a bold red lip, made me looks so seductive. Too seductive. I decided to tone it down a little and quickly change into a jeans and yellow crop top that compliment my honey skin tone. I let my hair lose in it natural curls.

“You look amazing,” Snow says as I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror. “Let’s show them what they’re missing.”

A small smile tugs at my lips. “Damn right,” I whisper to myself before heading out.

Ivy and I arrive at the nightclub Wildcat’s a little after ten. The music is loud, the bass thumping through the floor, and the lights are dim, casting everything in shades of the red and blue. I can already feel the beat thumping through my veins, pushing out the last remnants of my earlier despair.

We head straight to the bar, and Ivy orders us both shots to start. “Happy birthday bitch!” She shouts over the loud music, clicking her glass against mine.

Smirking I down the shot in one go.

“Careful, Amelia,” Snow warns, but there’s a hint of approval in her tone. “Just don’t go too far.”

Nodding my head, the alcohol burns as it goes down, a welcoming distraction from the ache. Ivy chats animatedly besides me, her laughter a balm to my wounded soul. She looks cute with her long chestnut hair to her shoulder and her short black dress. Good thing I opt out of mines earlier.

 “Let’s dance.” She says already swaying her hips to the loud music as she pulls me onto the dance floor. We dance, we drink some more and for a little while, I almost feel normal again. I made my way to the bar and got more shots, but then as I turn to the dance floor, my eyes land on a sight that makes my heart stop.

Ethan.

He’s across the room, his arms slung casually around a girl I don’t recognize. She’s laughing at something he said, and the sight of them together makes my stomach turn.

“Don’t look, Amelia,” Snow pleads but I can hear the jealousy in her voice. She as jealous and upset as I am.

I want to listen to her, I do, but I couldn't look away.

Ethan catches my eyes, and for a moment, something flickers in his expression- surprise, maybe guilt but then he turns away, leading the girl towards the exit. They leave together, disappearing into the night and the sight of them walking out like that stabs at me.

“Fuck him,” I mutter under my breath, downing the two shots I held in my hands, one right after the other.

Ivy touches my arm, concern written all over her face. I guess she saw that little exchange. If I should call it that. “You okay.”

“Yeah,” I lie, forcing a smile. “I’m fine. Let’s get another round.”

“Maybe you should slow down a little.” Ivy urges, but I ignore her. I need to drown out the image of him with someone else. I need to forget.

I down more shots, the alcohol numbing the pain, dulling the edges of my heartbreak. I dance, losing myself in the music, letting it take me somewhere far away from the reality of Ethan’s betrayal, but the numbing doesn’t last.

And that’s when I see him- Lucas.

He’s leaning against the bar looking impossibly out of place in this chaotic environment, yet somehow fitting in perfectly. I guess he felt my staring because his eyes find mine and there’s something in his gaze that makes my pulse quicken, something intense, almost predatory.

I stagger over to him and I can see the moment he realizes how drunk I am. “Fancy seeing you here,” I drawl, my words slightly slurred. “You know seeing you twice, one would think you’re following me.”

“Amelia,” Lucas says, his tone a mix of concern and something else I can’t quite place. “You’ve had enough, let me take you home.”

I shake my head, my vision spinning slightly. “No, I’m not ready to go home. I’m having fun.”

“Amelia,” Lucas voice is firmer now, and he places a hand on my arm. “You’re drunk. This isn’t you.”

“Maybe this is the new me,” I retort, stepping closer to him, so I can feel the heat radiating off his body. My eyes lock onto his, and for a moment, I see something flicker in his gaze- something dark, something hungry.

Lucas catches my wrist. His grip firm but gentle. “You don’t need to do this.” He said

“He’s trying to help.” Snow says, but her voice is distant. Her being weak from the rejection plus the alcohol didn’t do her justice.

I lean in closer, my breath brushing against his ear. “Either you make me forget, Lucas. Or I’ll find someone who will.”

For a moment, he doesn’t move, and I think he’s going to push me away. But then, something shifts in his eyes and he closes the distance between us, his lips capturing mine in a heated kiss. He taste so good, his lips a mixture of sweet honey and sour. We kiss hard and desperate, like we we’re both trying to forget something. His lips demanding and I respond with equal favor. The heat, the desire, it’s all-consuming, drowning out everything.

I stumble out of the club with him, the cooling night air hitting my flushed skin. We got into the back of his ride. I guess he had a designated driver. I let his strong and possessive hands roam me, while his lips trailing down my neck, all the way to my highly sensitive breast. I arch my back, wanting more. My skin tingling with every touch.

I’m not sure how soon we got to a hotel, but suddenly we’re in a room, the door slamming shut behind us. Clothes hitting the floor, we’re on the bed tangle together in a mess of limbs and heated skin. Lucas touch and kisses sent shiver down my spine all the way to my core. I moan louder as his finger graze my spots, rubbing it gently but also apply just the right amount of pressure.

Fuck that feels good.

He slowly slide his finger inside me, making me gasp and I moan louder. “Please, Lucas don’t tease me.” I pleaded between moans, as his finger moving back and forth. My mind in disarray now. Just as I was about to reach my peak. He removes his finger. I open my eyes, staring into his deep blue orbs.

“Not yet,” He said as he licks his finger that was inside me. He then pulls me closer, positing me in front of him. He looks at me, like I was something he couldn’t resist, and for once, I don’t want to be resist. “Amelia, are you sure?” he asks for consent. Despite being so close to the edge himself.

 “Yes.” My voice firm even in the haze.

Lucas eyes darken as he thrust into me, rocking my world and I lose myself.