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EIGHTY SIX
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Cravings EIGHTY SEVEN
Seth and I were no longer on talking terms; it was just that I could see him, but he continued to maintain his distance and only did things that his job required of him. It was that serious and hard to ignore, but I tried because maybe this is what we both need—space.I did watch him from my window whenever Michael wasn't around. I was confused as to how I felt for him. Maybe I have ruined his life by wanting to be with him back then, which was what brought us to this point.Thinking back now, we never actually had any real conversation except for the ones we shared on the bed, and it was just about us giving space to our partners, of which he kept his end of the bargain despite giving me troubles at the beginning. I, on the other hand, who thought I could hold back Michael from me, ended up pushing our relationship outwards.Maybe I was the one who caused the rift; maybe I did confuse Seth...My thoughts were interrupted by the arrival of Vanessa, as I quickly jumped and went down to
Cravings EIGHTY EIGHT
I shouldn't think about it much; Leo is going through a phase and will get past it if I handle this correctly. I wiped my sweaty hands on my clothes as I went outside and approached Seth. "I need the keys," I requested.He was puzzled, and I feel he wanted to ask me what for but just gave it to me either way. I collected it and quickly sat in the car, turning on the engine. I inhaled and exhaled multiple times, trying not to use my emotions while driving, as it would have plausible damage.Still, I couldn't get it out of my mind that my son was part of that community.I drove over to Louisa's place, which wasn't that much of a drive from the hall; her security didn't do much checking as they allowed me in clearly because they knew who I was. As I stepped out of the car, the anger that I had suppressed a while ago had come to overpower me.I walked into her house, clearly ready for a fight and to challenge her as she deserved. Louisa had no clue what I was here for, and she welcomed me.
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I thought it was all over, but I was slowly losing myself. I couldn't wrap my head around the fact that, may son, oh god no. I needed an excuse to put Leo in check, one that wouldn't make him suspect that I knew about him and Rocky while still drifting them apart.I had to, for the sake of Michael as well. I wonder how he would react if he finds out. I am sure, just like me, he would try to separate them. I can't even let him know."Please let me put Carmela to sleep; she requested it," Vanessa said as we stood at the passageway between Carmela and Leo's room."I have no problem with that, Vanessa; there is no need to ask even," I say to her while she knocks on Carmela's door. I wait till she has gotten in before I knock on Leo's.Leo was still in his suit, unlike Carmela, who had changed. "Mum," Leo said as he opened the door. I didn't even bother to look at his face because I was plainly disgusted. "Mum, is there a problem?""None, dear," I say while having my hands on his laptop. "W
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I laid down on my bed thinking of how I had missed so many signs about everything. Was I just focusing so much on Seth lately that I had forgotten about my own kids? This is very impossible because I do make time for everybody and I leave out myself sometimes, so what could exactly have warranted me not to look in deeper? If I did, then all these problems would have easily been averted.As I thought deeper, it soon crossed my mind: "Melissa!" I sounded her name off because it got Michael's attention, who was just preparing to leave the mayor's office again today."Did something happen?" Michael asked out of concern."No, nothing at all; I just remembered something, but it isn't that important." I said, but I lied. This was important. I remembered Melissa's face when I mentioned something about Rocky and Leo's recent closeness. I believe it was during Patricia's housewarming party. It was then.I can vividly remember how she reacted; it was as if she knew something about it.Now I don't
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LEO POVI was losing it completely. Everything about Rocky that I had known was slowly going away, and his mother has been bent on keeping us apart. All of a sudden, Rocky’s mother doesn’t want me to tutor him again. It was all suspicious; it made no actual sense.When my mother came in the evening after she had taken away my devices, she soon broke the news that Louisa, her friend and Rock’'s mother, had decided that Rocky would study on his own from now on.“What is going through your mind, Leo?” Sasha asked as she sat beside me at the dinner table.“He is probably thinking about his exams,” Mother answered from opposite us. I side-glared at her and took my eyes away when our food was being served.The Levines’s had come visiting for a diner today, so this was just me spending my time away in a place I felt suffocated in.I shuddered at Sasha’s light touch on my hand as she said, “Don’t think much of it; you are going to do great,” after which she rested her head on my shoulders.“Hm
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My mouth was opened at the realization that, from the things Michael explained to me, I had begun sobbing as tears couldn’t stop falling from my eyes.“We pushed our son too hard, and now he has become like this." Michael ended everything he had explained to me; I couldn’t believe it. I remained dumbfounded at the thought that Leo was quietly suffering because of Michael and me, all because we as parents wanted to make sure he was top of the class as always.This added to his anxiety and increased his need to prove to us that he can maintain it. When the spotlight came on our family, we became super greedy about it. It is the sole reason Melissa put William in the same school as Leo to try and make him compete as well.I didn’t know this will cause a reparable damage to Leo.“Why didn’t you tell me this before, Michael? Is that why he fainted the other day,” I screamed at the top of my voice knowing that the possibilities of that being through was already over the bar given Michael’s e
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As soon as Michael was gone and there was no trace of him, I went to Seth’s place. I was unsure whether to unlock the door with the key in my hand or wait for him to come, as his door was locked, signifying that he was yet in.After giving it a little thought, I decided to do it either way, hoping he doesn’t get angry or maybe he might see it as a sweet gesture from me.I set the key in and twisted it on both ends to unlock when I heard a voice from behind me: “I guess because I work for you, I shouldn’t have a bit of privacy because why are you breaking and entering an apartment that clearly belongs to your worker? Aren’t you worried people might find this suspicious?”I took a step back, leaving the key in its place. I was expecting a reaction like this from him, which was why I came here shameless: “I was missing you."“You get into an argument with your husband, and surprisingly, minutes after you remember I exist, you miss me. How sweet!" Seth scoffed. He came up to the door, rem
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Days did pass; I longed for him. Each day that passed, I sat in the window area watching Seth. Could this be it? Do I actually love him as well, and I don’t know it? I have only felt this loving feeling for one person ever, and that was Michael.It has been years, and I doubt I feel the same way. I have wanted to feel that love again, but it never came.I watched ever so lovingly; happiness was all I felt, but the obvious thought of him slowly becoming beyond my reach had triggered me: do I have the capacity to let him go? What was that behavior like before, Scarlett? Look at yourself; you don’t even eat unless you have gotten a glimpse of Seth.It was fear, maybe.Fear of what people will say, fear of what my children will think of me if I choose to leave Michael... I know now that I should choose myself and where my happiness lies.I had chosen a great opportunity to say it all to him that I chose him.I got up excited as I ran to the door and opened it, only to find Carmela; she cl
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Cravings 113
The minute I stepped foot into that place Michael called home for me and my children, it was the moment I lost all contact with Seth and the world. I never go anywhere without security following me around, monitoring my every movement and the things that I do, and making sure that they work according to my given schedule.Michael has gone insane.“Michael I am tired of all these.” I threw off my shoes and flung them out the window, and wherever they landed, I absolutely had no care for them. “I am tired!”“Then leave!” Michael screamed at my face as he slammed our room door, locking it shut. “I know you want his touch; you are doing all of these because you miss him, don’t you?”“For six months I haven’t seen him; I have adhered to every one of your demands and kept away from him; all I want is for you to sign the divorce papers and free me,” I say, moving away from him."Clearly, you don’t know that I won’t know such things, so act right and come down right now!” Michael yelled, and
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“Carmela, hurry up; you are going to be late for school,” I screamed from the kitchen where I was packing up her lunch. When I didn’t hear anything from her, I went to knock on her door. The door pushed open as I held it. “Carmela.”“Mum, come take a look,” Carmela pointed at the two vehicles with security detail waiting in front of Seth’s apartment.“Ignore them,” I said to her before closing off the curtain. “Seth said he will drop you off at school before we head to the hospital to pick up your brother. Leo is finally returning home.”“Yay,” Carmela feigned excitement. “I am sure he is going to gain all of your attention now.” My forehead creased as I looked directly at her. I saw a small smile on her face. “I am kidding, mom. It is so easy to get to you. Make sure you give him all of the love for me.”“I think you should skip school today and come see him.”“And ruin my perfect record? No, I told you I would do better in school than Leo ever was,” Carmela said as she picked up her
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“Why didn’t you tell me that Leo was alive? What was the need for keeping it away from me and from us?” Michael asked. Carmela had stared with the bitterness she had felt looking at her father this morning.“I did it so Brianna would confess,” I answered.“For fuck sake, Scarlett, if she had gotten arrested, she would have confessed either way; she killed our son, I mean almost,” Michael said as he moved back and forth.“And that is almost the reason he is alive today, Michael. I know Brianna was in her head yesterday, but she is not a bad person and still is my friend,” I acknowledged. “Everything she has done was to provide for her family; there is nothing wrong with that.”“By blackmailing you? Honey, have you gone mad? How can you call someone who has done all these things a friend? I pray she rots in jail for the sins she has caused you.” Michael pulled me and hugged me. I sniffed his shirt, and there was an unfamiliar scent—feminine, I would say.I already knew he had sex when h
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A few talks with the officer were all I needed to get a name that I already knew. I couldn’t believe that the person I trusted so much about would have done this to me. I don’t deserve this. I may be a bad person, but I don’t deserve this at all.We drove over to my son’s murderer’s house as I begged for the police to let me speak to her personally; she is my friend after all.“She won’t harm me; Brianna already told me she would be waiting to speak to me,” I said, trying to convince the officer to wait.I knocked on the door of Brianna’s home, and it opened slightly, given that she hadn’t locked the door as she said she wouldn’t.“You came,” Brianna sat in the darkness of her home. I saw different weapons like a gun, a knife, and a couple of pills on the table. She said, “Don’t worry, they aren’t for you.”“I know,” I said. “You won’t harm me, Brianna.”“I hate you.” She said so simply as she whimpered silently, “You are so lucky; you have a good life, family, money , everything. I a
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A heavy downpour of rain washed over Leo’s grave, and while everyone sought shelter from it, I stood there wondering how lonely it would be over there—no one to talk to, no food to eat—at least you wouldn’t have to study any more.My lips thinned as I exhaled deeply.There is no mother to tell you what you can and cannnot, how to live your life, or who you should be with.I kneeled down as I allowed the dirt to stain all over me, losing my mind at the thought that Leo was actually gone, like I would never get to see him again."Leo, I am sorry.” I cried out as all my pain weakened me. A snort came out of my nose as I continued to cry. It will take the intervention of everyone to leave my son’s at this point.I didn’t give him what he wanted and always found a way to make his life about Michael. I used him as a pawn to achieve Michael’s success, and I only started to feel sorry for it when he outgrew me.I never got to amend my relationship with my son; I never got to do that, and now
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Seth was shocked as to where I had gotten such courage from. I mean, I was drunk in his scent and clearly wasn’t thinking properly, but his saying I should go ahead was where I understood he wanted it too."Seth, look at where we are. Do you think God will want to see that from two fornicators?” I asked, and Seth burst out laughing.“Fornicators? So that is who we are now. I have never felt sin be this good before. You think maybe he will forgive us so easily?” Seth asked as he looked around the chapel.“No, God doesn’t work that way, dear; you have to be remorseful and actually pay the price for the sin before he forgives, I think, but though he is merciful, his forgiveness doesn’t come cheap,” I said, smiling. “I also don’t think we should be this close.” I tried to push him further away while pulling him back at the same time.“Since we are fornicators?" Seth laughed, and the room fell into silence as he gazed at me ever so lovingly. “I know this is wrong, but I miss you,” he said
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I visited the hospital frequently as if it were my home; I had to because Leo was yet to wake up and none of us knew exactly how he wound up at shore for that good man who was fishing to find him.Weeks after weeks, and though the doctors said he was responding to treatment and would probably wake up, there was still no sign of that happening, and now I am starting to become worried.For the first week, Leo’s health had been unstable. We received a lot of visitors at the hospital, but as the days pushed into weeks and then a whole month, everyone who we thought cared had soon forgotten and gone back to their own business.I hardly saw any of my friends around either; they were mostly focused on Laura for now, except for Melissa, and that is solely because she is Leo’s godmother; of course she has to be here along with her son.Even Rocky, whom I thought would be here every day, was also occupied, and I understand he has school and his mother to worry about, so maybe he can be excused
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Silence, a void only one could hear and feel for themselves.“Scarlett, Sarlett, Scarlett.” They all called my name from different areas, but their voices never got to me.Could this be true? Could it be?My son is gone, and I am supposed to feel okay about it.I failed as a mother; I failed as his friend; and I failed as his world.When Leo needed me the most, I was never there for him. I don’t deserve happiness at all.My eyes closed as I allowed darkness to seep into me.*** **** ********* ********** ******* ****** ******* ****** ******* My eyes finally opened to see all of my loved ones gathered around my bed, with the beeping sound disturbing my hearing. I looked around, not saying anything. Where would I find the words?“Mum has woken up,” Carmela’s voice said out loud as everyone who was around the doctor soon came to me.“Darling,” Michael touched my face as he kissed my forehead. At first, I wondered why he was getting so affectionate until I saw who came as well.
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~SCARLETT POV~Ambulance sirens blared as lots of body bags were being brought out and taken into the morgue one after the other, my hands shivering. I had already cried in the car. I can't help it now that I have seen Carmela in tears. She would need me to be strong for her, and I can’t help being weak in front of her.“Mum, why do horrible things always happen to us?” Carmela asked as she embraced me, her tears trickling down from her eyes to my shoulder as I stroked her back. “All will be fine, dear; we just have to identify the bodies; we have to hope your brother isn’t a part of it.”I was breaking down so badly; I was so occupied with myself that I never paid attention. God, I only ask for one thing, and that is for my son not to be a part of the dead bodies that drowned at sea.It was hard to pray because it was confirmed that Leo and Rocky were indeed on the guest list for the cruise and that they did attend.“Mrs. Thatcher,” The officer called as I turned, my heart beating ex
