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2024-10-29 19:42:56Cordia looked at the letters as if she had never seen paper before. “What’s this?” she asked.
“One of them, I have to apologize, I should have mailed a long time ago. The other one, I wrote just the night before the battle.”
“Oh.” Cordia turned the papers over again and again in her hands. Though he had held her hand and played with her hair, she had questioned whether or not he was doing these things out of kindness, and familiarity of seeing a face he recognized. She had been sure that, if he truly reciprocated the emotions she had articulated in her letters, not only would he have written her back—and sent the letters—but upon seeing her, he would have expressed his undying love for her, or something of that nature. His refusal to return to Lamar only served to further convince her that he did not feel the same way about her as she did about him and she was just beginning to wonder how she was possibly going to g
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Cordia's Will: A Civil War Story of Love and Loss Message
In a very real way, the journey home was, for Cordia, almost as difficult as the initial trip had been. Though she no longer felt the heavy burden on her heart of waiting, she was now fully aware that it would be her duty to inform the Adams family that their proud soldier son was, in spirit, no longer with them. Though she had somehow obtained this reputation of being strong enough to handle most everything, she didn’t know how in the world she was going to find the words to look Margaret Adams in the face and say those few words, “Jaris is dead.”An idea crossed her mind, and that afternoon, as they neared a small town in Green County, she asked Frieda if they could stop by the post office and see if they had a telegraph machine. At first, Frieda had argued with her, saying how important she thought it was to reach Jasper County, and the safety of some family friends, before the sun went down. However, after a small amount of pressing from a desperate girl
Cordia's Will: A Civil War Story of Love and Loss Correspondence
Cordia unfolded Will’s first letter and began to read by the dim lantern light.July 6, 1861,Dearest Cordia,Please forgive me for not writing to you sooner. I am not so good with words, and your skill has intimidated me some, I am afraid. I have taken much solace in your letters. Your words have captured the feelings within my heart, and it brings me peace, even now as I have just come from an awful battle, to know that you are out there waiting for me. I was at first concerned about your relationship with Jaris. I wish that I could advise you on what you should do so as not to hurt him, but I do not rightly know the best thing to do either. I do know that war seems to change people. Perhaps, when all this fighting is over, you will find your answer. In the meantime, I must tell you it is only the thought of building my life with you that carries me through the hardships we must each endure. How many times in these past weeks must I
Cordia's Will: A Civil War Story of Love and Loss Mistake
Traveling along the crudely cut wagon rut of a road the next morning, Cordia felt an overwhelming amount of solace. They had been riding along for an hour or so, just entering into Barton County, when Frieda remarked on how peaceful she seemed.“I am at peace,” she agreed. “And I am happy to be nearly home.”Frieda seemed putout that Cordia was willing to admit she was no longer beside herself with grief. She “humphed” about it and gave the reins a violent shake.Cordia’s forehead furrowed in surprise. “What, would you have me bawling all the way home?” she asked.“No,” Frieda relinquished. “But, still, don’t you think you should be feeling a little distraught, considering what it is we are a’haulin’ here?”There really was no way that Cordia could explain to Frieda why it was that she now felt such contentment. Ever since she had dreamt of Jaris, she ha
Cordia's Will: A Civil War Story of Love and Loss Funeral
Cordia had never been to a funeral before. Most of her grandparents had died before she was born. Her Nana Pike passed away when she was about three or four, but she had stayed home from the funeral with Frieda. She had read about such things in many books, so it was a little surprising to her when she awoke that Saturday morning to see the sun shining in the sky. After all, in every story she had ever read, the sky was always dark and gloomy, wind blowing a driving rain, as all the mourners, dressed in black huddled around the coffin.As her family followed the procession of other carriages and wagons out to the cemetery on the edge of the Adams Farm, she thought it fitting that the sun was shining. Though it was still August, and therefore, still hot, there was a nice, gentle breeze blowing. Jaris’s parents had asked Cordia and her family to sit with them directly in front of the coffin. She took her place there, beside what would have been her mother-in-law. Margaret
Cordia's Will: A Civil War Story of Love and Loss Ghost
Cordia was looking forward to spending a nice fall day with Julia at the Adams Farm. It had been a rough September for her dear friend. Julia had not quite recovered from the effects of not knowing Will’s fate. She had spent a great deal of time in bed lately, coughing, choking, too weak to get up. Cordia had been extremely concerned for her. She had been to see her every day. Sometimes she just sat by and watched Julia in a restless sleep. Other times, she would read to her, or they would share stories about their childhoods. At one point, Julia’s fever was so high, Dr. Walters wouldn’t let Cordia, or anyone else besides Mrs. Adams, even go into her room. Finally, it had broken, after about three days.Since that time, about a week prior, she had seemed to be doing much better. Since it had cooled off a little, she was even spending some time outdoors in the fresh air. Cordia had sent word to Will about his sister’s condition, but she had not heard fr
Cordia's Will: A Civil War Story of Love and Loss Interloper
“Home. There was that word again,” Cordia thought as she heard Julia gush over Will being home. She was behind them now, walking more slowly. How difficult it would be to have him here and to pretend to everyone that they were just acquaintances, just friends. Yet, as she noticed Mrs. Adams coming out the front door to greet him, she knew she had no other choice. They all went inside, and she lingered in the yard a moment, trying to get herself together. It wouldn’t be the first time she denied the way she really felt. She guessed she could do it again.Margaret was smiling and laughing, but it wasn’t the same as it had been before Jaris was killed. Now, her face seemed to have a gray tone to it. Even when she was truly amused, it never quite left her. She had gotten Will something to drink, and was trying to force food upon him, though he insisted he had eaten while he was making the trip from the train depot to the farm. He had walked the tw
Cordia's Will: A Civil War Story of Love and Loss Dinner
Cordia sat through dinner doing everything in her power to act nonchalant about Julia and Will coming over later that evening. Her father had been so excited himself, he was bubbling with glee all through their meal. “It will be so nice to hear from someone who has actually been in battle,” he was saying.Cordia wasn’t really eating. It was more like she was conducting some troop movements of her own, maneuvering the various items of food around her plate so that it looked like she was consuming it. Her mother had noticed though. Finally, she said, “Cordia, dear, you don’t have to eat it if you aren’t hungry. I know it must be very sad for you to see Will. Probably just a reminder of your dear Jaris.”If that’s what it took to get out of pretending to eat, then she was willing to accept it. “Yes, mother,” she said. “May I be excused?” Her mother consented and she went upstairs to re-read Will&rsquo
Cordia's Will: A Civil War Story of Love and Loss Nurse
Cordia was storing up a supply of bandages, as well as other medical supplies, in a little cupboard in the corner of a room off behind the staircase. Even though she didn’t feel it would be proper to shut the door, she didn’t think anyone would be coming back that way, and they would have a little privacy. She took one of the lanterns out of the foyer as she passed so that she could see to light the lamps in the room. For some reason, she felt a little nervous as she entered. She went about the business of lighting the place up and getting out her supplies.“Where do you want me?” Will asked.“Well,” she said looking around the room, “why don’t you have a seat on the table there so that I can see it a little better.”He did as he was told, and she slowly walked over, setting her supplies and the original lamp down beside him.“I was wondering how I was ever going to get you alone,” he said
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Cordia's Will: A Civil War Story of Love and Loss Over
Carey’s horse ran straight past him, seeing the other riders off in the distance, and Carey knew he was trapped. Will was certainly behind him now. He dropped the derringer to the ground, hoping compliance would be beneficial. His only option was to find a way to get close enough to Cordia to take that gun away and use her body as a shield. “Cordia,” he said as sweetly as he could muster, “you’re not going to shoot me,” he smiled at her, nonchalantly. “Go ahead and step out of the way, darlin’ so I can join my men.”“You and your men shot my daddy,” she replied, her voice filled with hate.Carey swallowed hard. It had never been his intention to physically harm her father. “I’m sorry to hear that,” he said quietly. “Your father and I have always been such good friends. I’m sure he would understand why you would let me go.”It was a stretch, and they both knew it
Cordia's Will: A Civil War Story of Love and Loss Fire
Carey’s plan was working. The cavalry was not prepared for an assault on the munitions, and when they blew, it shook the entire square. Glass shards flew through the air, people went flying, horses darted off, some with riders still holding on. The explosion had caught the wooden steeple and roof of the courthouse on fire, and the structure was going up in flames. Within a few moments, the entire top of the building was burning.The Union troops realized that their focal point was rapidly disappearing. While this was certainly devastating to their purpose, it did suddenly create a sense of mobility to the commanders. No longer tied to a structure to protect, they began to pour out in formation, engaging the enemy where they were, rather than waiting for Quantrill and his men to come to them.Quantrill recognized this problem almost instantly. He had hoped to acquire some of the weapons and munitions that had been stored there, but at least they would no longer be
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The group of men Carey was leading were pyromaniacs, apparently. His understanding was that Quantrill wanted them to converge on the square, take the outpost, and then light the town on fire as they made their escape. These men spent a great deal of time throwing torches through broken windows, and it seemed that they would never make it to the heart of the battle unfolding on the square a few blocks away.At last, Carey gave the order to ride on, and then did so, not caring who followed. He could see that a large contingency of the men had accompanied him, while only a few stayed behind to torch the houses along Tenth Street. He covered the few blocks to the square quickly, hoping to get in on the fight. It had been almost two years since he had tasted battle, and he was eager to feel the rush of assault again. However, once he got to the square, he realized Quantrill and Lewis had not organized their attack as well as he had hoped. The 8thCavalry appeared to be ready
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Carey was furious. “This is my aunt and uncle’s farm!” he was yelling, bringing his horse between the torch men and the shed they had just lit on fire. “You have direct orders from Quantrill not to touch any of our property or our relations’!”“Sorry! We didn’t know!” an older cross-eyed soldier spat back before riding off. Though it was too late for this particular shed, Carey was hopeful that he could save the rest of the farm from a similar fate. He was leading a small band of marauders into town. Quantrill had split his men into smaller groups so that they could enter the city limits a bit more stealthily. They would meet back up at the courthouse directly. Carey had given very specific directions to everyone as to which houses were to be spared, this being one of them, but apparently these outlaws had not listened as closely as he would have liked, and he began to fear for the safety of his father who was likely sleep
Cordia's Will: A Civil War Story of Love and Loss Goodbye
A few hours into Will’s vigil, he realized that Julia’s breathing had changed. The door to her bedroom was ajar, and he could hear his aunt bustling around, keeping herself busy. “Aunt Margaret,” he said as loudly as he could muster. “I think you should probably come in here.”Margaret had been present at quite a few deaths over the years. Thankfully, most of them had been the passing of elderly members of her family, such as her grandparents, though she had watched her mother breath her last at the age of fifty-two. She had always regretted not being there for her brother and his wife, Will’s parents, but they had lived such reclusive lives. She didn’t even know they were sick until after they had passed. Entering the room, she could tell immediately that Julia’s time had come. Her breathing was very shallow and uneven. Several seconds passed between breaths. Catching Will’s eye, Margaret nodded solemnly.He
Cordia's Will: A Civil War Story of Love and Loss Family
Cordia’s parents were elated to see her, though hearing of the circumstances that brought her diminished their joy significantly. They invited Zachariah in, but he declined, thinking his mother may need him back at the house. He knew that, once Julia had passed, his mother would be extremely emotional, and he wanted to be there to comfort her.Once Frieda had greeted her, she disappeared into the kitchen, pouring drinks and preparing something for Cordia to eat. Though she protested that she was not hungry, Frieda insisted that she would need her strength. Cordia joined her parents in the parlor, feeling awkwardly like a guest in what was, until very recently, her own home for so long. She sat on the duvet across from her parents, who sat in their usual chairs. The fire was blazing in the fireplace, and Cordia suddenly became very aware of how cold she had been, despite her heavy winter coat.“Well, Cordia, dear,” her mother began. “How have you
Cordia's Will: A Civil War Story of Love and Loss Jules
The ride from the Tucker house to the Adams Farm was nearly silent and forced. The horses were spurred on in a full gallop for as long as they could bear it. Arthur did not have to say anything more for Will to know that, if Arthur was riding out to retrieve him, Julia must have grown much worse.When they arrived, Zachariah came out and took their horses. Arthur helped Cordia dismount but by the time she was off of her horse, Will was already inside the farmhouse, flying toward the back room. Cordia caught up with him at the door of Julia’s room, where he paused to compose himself before entering. She put her hand gently on his back, giving him the assurance he needed to enter the room and survey his sister’s waning condition.As they entered the room, they could see Dr. Walters sitting on a chair next to her bed, Margaret at the foot of the bed but within reach of her niece. Julia’s breathing was labored, but she was breathing. Her cheeks were flush
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Carey was encamped with Quantrill and his band of raiders, which numbered nearly two hundred, in a wooded area north of Lamar, for several days before they finally rode out to meet up with a few stragglers who had been out visiting family. Quantrill had been corresponding with Col. Warren Lewis of the Missouri State Guard, and they both had their eye on the outpost located in Lamar at the courthouse. On November 4, Quantrill gathered up his forces and began the ride north. Carey and the few men who had come along with him were instrumental in giving information about roads and the location of troops, etc. Carey also suggested that they try to take out the prominent businessmen in town and their families, hoping to use the famous rebel as a means to get revenge on those he believed had done him wrong. Quantrill agreed. Any permanent scars they could leave on the face of the town would be well worth it. Carey sketched a rough map of the town, placing an “X” on the homes of
Cordia's Will: A Civil War Story of Love and Loss Hurry
The trip into Nevada took about thirty minutes each way. Besides sending the telegraphs, they had also gotten some much-needed supplies. Will was anxious to hear how Julia was doing, and he didn’t want to stay cut-off from his family for too long, but he also wanted to make sure that Cordia’s father had the opportunity to receive the telegraph and calm down the authorities some before they headed back to Lamar. That was assuming that anyone was even looking for them. They weren’t even sure that Carey had reported anything to the sheriff at all. They decided to wait about a week before venturing back to the Adams Farm to ascertain the situation.They had done their best to avoid as many people as possible, particularly other riders. The fewer people who knew the old Tucker homestead was occupied again, the better, especially since the town was alive with whispers and rumors of guerrillas and marauders. Despite the fact that the house she was staying in had be
