Grooming

My body was in pain. I wheezed as I pulled my face close to the floor; black sweat dripped from my chin. I pushed myself back up.

"Argggh," I grunted out. Every cell in my body was screaming for me to stop. I was doing a mere push-up.

Kali was the woman's name, and when she told me that I was being expelled from the system. She meant everything. That divine attack had reset me back to an infant (even though I look like an adult). I needed to rebuild my body.

"Is that all you got," Kail said, doing push-ups. She was only using her fingers to hold herself up. "Does your goal only sit so low on your list of things to do? Where is that drive?"

I let out another scream and went down for another rep. My goal had changed since coming down here. I just wanted a second chance at life. Trying my best to live peacefully with my family. Taking everything slowly, but I had fallen back into old habits. Stealing from people and riding off of their success. Then I went and tried to play the victim card. How would I know that I was hurting so many people? I was just trying to live like everyone else.

I left people wounded and destroyed. People would spend years practicing their skills or blessings. It was everything to them, just like how copying was to me, but when someone steals all your hard work and claims it to be yours. It defeats you; only pain and anger grow in your heart.

I told myself I was copying, not stealing. Copying is OK as long as you make your own, put your spin to it. I didn't do that. I didn't bother placing personality into my work because I didn't have one. I lived just the way I had lived in my first life. Scum, picking up pieces from others and turning it into a heaping mess, I called me. I was the byproduct of a society that was struggling to breathe.

We've only taken from each other and watched the strong survive. I told myself I needed to be like that and deny any upbringing and morals that come with growing up. Some morals and rules are dictated by society, but that doesn't mean that strong people follow them. I just absorbed the bad, the ugly, and the toxic.

Which reminded me of Joy and Anna. I craved them sexually, and I showed it. I was strong in that relationship with them. They thought they were righteous members of society. Following rules and laws no matter how much they were battered down—a single aunt taking care of her niece, I knew why. Anna's mother had a bad gambling debt; she had sold off Anna to a gang that she had an obligation to. When Joy found out, she poured everything she had in her savings to buy back Anna from them. At that moment, it was almost too late. Anna was hooked up on crack. Joy had to put more time into her niece, and that meant more money. She had downgraded from a lavish apartment to a dinging old shed next to mine. Joy needed more hours and took on more hours. Every night, she worked as a computer programmer trying to improve programs and create a viral mobile app. Money is what pressured her to work hard. Anna's treatment wasn't cheap.

I had money but didn't bother to share without asking for sexual favours. Joy didn't accept, and I knew why. It was morally wrong for her to accept it. That is what held her back. I remember telling myself that I was glad to be this mirror of society. Without morals, money flowed in.

Now things were different. Even though the society on Rolrista was the same as on Earth (without the technological advances), I played the same game. I was selfish, and even though I was being selfish for a good reason, such as my family. I always told myself that they could reject me at any moment. I could leave at any moment. I didn't need them as much as they needed me. Yet, it was so painful for me when my sisters rejected me. My soul was as fragile as it was on Earth.

My face was slammed into the floor. Kali's grip holding me down, I could hear the creaking of my skull underneath her strength.

"You're not focused," she said. "Stop thinking about how you have failed and how it was never really your fault. You're just a byproduct of your society."

"It's not my fault," I squeezed out.

"Of course it is. Do you believe that you aren't at fault for your own demise? I know how you've lived. You steal, kill, and lie your way through life."

"You don't know me!"

"But I do because I've lived the same. You could've become king of whatever dynasty or kingdom that lies above us. You could have risen up to the top and looked down on those who thought you were nothing but scum. But let me tell you," her grip tightening, "No amount of money or power will make you happy. They will only look at you as what you are. A thief, a thief king, stealing everything from less unfortunate."

My face twisted to grief. She was telling the truth. No matter how much money I made or how much power I held. I could never seem to hold on to happiness. If someone knew my secret, they would hate me. I kept everyone an arm's length away, except for my sisters.

"There it is—the shame. I've seen that look hundreds of times. The only good thing that comes from being a [Copywriter] is that you can build up from the bottom. It's work, but it's worth it. I know the temptation of waiting for people to reach the peak of their talent and then rob them blind. There is a word for it, an old friend of mine used."

"Grooming," we said in unison.

"Right, right. You've done it, haven't you? Now let me ask you did you kill them when you were done?"

...

"Answer me, or I'll end you here."

"No."

She laughed, that sick bellowing laugh. It flowed from her stomach and made her whole body shiver.

"You're a cruel man," she said, letting me go. "Now tell me what happened."