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22. Julianna

Author: LINDA KAGE
last update Last Updated: 2024-10-29 19:42:56
Say it before you run out of time. Say it before it’s too late. Say what you’re feeling. Waiting is miserable. —Unknown

My hands shook as I conditioned my hair and tied it up, and they continued to shake as I cleaned my face and changed into the sexiest pair of pajamas I owned.

Why were they shaking? I wasn’t sure. I mean, this wasn’t the first time I thought I was in love with a guy. I’d been positive Shaun had been the one, but look how that had ended. He’d been a slime ball. So honestly, I shouldn’t trust my emotions at all.

Things with Colton felt so different, though. I’d wanted to fall for Shaun; I’d fought it the entire time with Colton. Opening my heart to him seemed scary and bold and dangerous. I knew he could hurt me like no one else because I’d given him more weapons to do so…I’d freaking confided things to him. And if he wasn’t the one to hurt me, what would everyone else think about us being together? What if their scorn broke me?

Maybe Theo had been right. They were
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  • Consolation Prize   23. Julianna

    By the way, I’m wearing the smile you gave me. —UnknownI woke the next morning to Colton kissing his way up my shoulder.Mumbling incoherently over the fact I was now awake and didn’t yet want to be, I rolled toward him and reached blindly until I found his chest, which was covered by the cotton material of his shirt.Yes, that made waking up better. Except, wait.My eyes came open. He hadn’t worn a shirt to bed.Finding him fully dressed, I immediately pouted. “You have clothes on.”“I know, I know.” He expelled a dramatic sigh. “You want some really fun morning nookie, I get that. I mean, hello.” He waved a hand over his chest. “Why wouldn’t you? But I’m sorry, baby doll. I’m already running late. I need to get home and shower and change. My first class starts in half an hour.”He pressed his lips to the base of my neck, kissing me noisily before he pulled away to hop off my bed. “When’s your next night off?” he asked as he tugged on his shoes.I groaned because I had a pret

  • Consolation Prize   24. Julianna

    It’s not about about the sex. Sometimes the best type of intimacy is where you just lay back, laugh together at the stupidest things, hold each other, and enjoy each other’s company. —UnknownI was curled up on my couch on Thursday evening, home alone because my roommates were once again away with their boyfriends, and unable to do much past hold a warm cup of hot tea between my hands and stare at the clock ticking at a sloth’s pace over the quiet television when a knock came at my door.My pulse raced. Was it Colton? I hadn’t been sure if he’d show up. We’d made plans for tonight and he’d never canceled, but we hadn’t talked since Tuesday either. And after he’d strode off in his jealous huff, I had no idea where that left us, if his fine was really fine or not.If only I weren’t so freaking stubborn and hard-headed, I could’ve pushed until everything felt fine to me, and then I’d know exactly what was going on in his head right now. I wouldn’t be so self-conscious and confused and

  • Consolation Prize   25. Colton

    They told me that to make her fall in love, I had to make her laugh. But every time she laughs, I’m the one who falls in love. —Unknown“Let’s go out,” I suggested the next night as I patted Julianna’s thigh in encouragement.It was night two of Aunt Flow’s visit and since there was no action going to go on in the apartment—except for that one little blow job I’d begged from her about two seconds after I’d arrived, but that had been nearly two hours ago—I was getting cabin fever.Even Juli’s roommates were gone. She told me they often disappeared whenever she had her period because it made her so cantankerous, though I’d yet to see her even mildly moody.Glancing up from the really boring show on the television we’d been watching about how cement was made, she blinked at me from big brown eyes.“And do what?”I shrugged. “I don’t know. Let’s get something to eat.” We hadn’t had supper, and I was always ready to eat.She blinked as if startled. “You want to go out to dinner with

  • Consolation Prize   26. Julianna

    Most of us don’t need a psychiatric therapist as much as a friend to be silly with. —Robert BraultFriendship is a like a rainbow between two hearts. —Unknown“I think I’m done with this pansy-maker,” Colton announced, pulling the ice pack away from his eye. The paramedics had given it to us when they’d first arrived and checked him out. It was beginning to drip with condensation as he held it out away from him.“I’ll go return it to them,” I offered, taking it from his hand.“Thanks, baby doll.” He kissed me in gratitude.Red and blue lights flashed over me as I approached the ambulance where they’d just restrained the drunk who’d fought with Colton enough to successfully get him inside. I could see two paramedics in the vehicle with him as they wrapped his arm with a temporary sling, while a third stood just outside the opened doors, talking to a pair of cops.One of the officers noticed me and nodded respectfully. “We’ll take him to jail once they get him checked out at the ho

  • Consolation Prize   27. Julianna

    I knew I loved you when suddenly “home” went from a place to a person. —UnknownThe next day was a Saturday, no college classes, so I didn’t have to worry about how I was going to act around Colton in philosophy. I’d never told a guy I loved him over the phone before. Actually, the only other person I’d said it to had been Shaun, and he’d proposed directly after that and we’d spent the rest of the day in bed together.I shuddered with revulsion, just thinking about him and that day, while a nasty taste filled my tongue. Remembering other guys felt wrong now. I kind of wished everything had started with Colton because he was the only thing that felt right.And yet I was sitting here stressing about how I was going to behave around him the next time I saw him.We both knew we loved each other now.What would I say to him about it? Just blurt it out again first thing? What if he retracted his part of it because he really had gotten a concussion the night before, and he’d been delirio

  • Consolation Prize   28. Colton

    I love my eyes when you look into them. I love my name when you say it. I love my heart when you touch it. I love my life when you are in it. —UnknownThe ringing of a cell phone on the nightstand about a foot from my head woke me from a pleasant dream. Needing to shut it up as soon as possible, I blindly swiped out my hand and captured the bleating device. Somehow I was able to slide my thumb across the front and answer it without cracking open a single eye.“’Lo,” I croaked.A beat of silence followed before a hesitant voice asked, “Colton?”Brandt.“Yeah. What d’you want?” I mumbled, yawning as I tried to get my brain to function.“I, uh.” He emitted an uneasy laugh that had me finally opening my eyes. Then he said, “Nothing. I mean, I wasn’t trying to call you. Sorry, I must’ve misdialed.”With a grateful groan, I slurred, “Good.” Now I didn’t have to think and come up with a rational response to whatever he wanted. “I’m going back to bed.”Clicking off the call, I started

  • Consolation Prize   29. Colton

    Family: like branches on a tree, we all grow in different directions, yet our roots remain as one. —UnknownBrandt dropped his hand where he’d had it raised to knock. His gaze settled on me before he said, “I knew I hadn’t called the wrong number.”I shrugged. “You know, you could’ve just checked the call history on your phone instead of coming all the way over here to figure that out, right?”He narrowed his eyes at my smart-ass reply. “What the fuck are you doing here, Colton?” Then he dropped his gaze to where my hand was linked with Julianna’s, and his eyes bulged with disbelief.She tightened her grip on me. I wasn’t sure if she was nervous or trying to be supportive. But I did know she wasn’t ashamed of being caught by him with me, which was all I needed to know.So I blinked at my brother and shot back just as accusingly, “What the fuck are you doing here? You’re the married one of us two.”He shot me a grow-up look and muttered, “I’m trying to figure out why you were answ

  • Consolation Prize   30. Julianna

    One day someone is going to hug you so with that all of your broken pieces fit back together. —UnknownI was pacing my living room and waiting for word back from Colton about how things had gone with his brother—who was not my favorite person at the moment—when Tyla blew into the apartment, crying hysterically.She slammed the door behind her and started to storm toward the hallway but shrieked when she saw me lurking nearby.“Oh my God, JuJu.” She pressed her hand to her heart. “You scared the shit out of me. What’re you doing here?”“I live here,” I said slowly before reaching out to catch her arm. “Are you okay?”“No,” she wailed, burying the heels of her palms into her eye sockets. “I did it. I broke up with him. I told him to go shove it where the sun didn’t shine. Oh my God, JuJu. What am I going to do?”“Well, first you’re going to sit down,” I told her gently as I took her arm and led her toward the couch. “Then you’re going to drink the cup of hot tea I make you and you’

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  • Consolation Prize   About the Author

    Linda writes romance fiction from YA to adult, contemporary to fantasy. Most Kage stories lean more toward the lighter, sillier side with a couple meaningful moments thrown in. Focuses more on entertainment value and emotional impact.Published since 2010. Went through a 2-year writing correspondence class in children’s literature from The Institute of Children’s Literature. Then graduated with a Bachelor of Arts, English with an emphasis in creative fiction writing from Pittsburg State University.Now she lives with her hubby, two daughters, cat Holly, and nine cuckoo clocks in southeast Kansas, USA. Farm girl. Parents were dairy farmers. Was youngest of eight. Big family. Day job as a cataloging library assistant.Harry Potter House Gryffindor, Patronus White Stallion, character match Hagrid. Supernatural Team Dean. Game of Thrones Team Jon Snow and Tyrion Lannister. The Walking Dead Team Daryl. Outlander Team Jamie Fraser. Teen Wolf Team Stiles. Avenger Team Thor...or Hulk (can’t

  • Consolation Prize   Acknowledgments

    Thank you to…The Bestest Friends EverLindsayLaurenAdaI’m pretty sure you’ll never realize how much you mean to me. No matter where you go or what you do in your lives, a little piece of you will always be protected safely in my heart and cherished forever. I’m always happy to hear from you. Thank you for being you.My FamilyKurt, Lydia, Sadie, and all the others!You guys are my home and my foundation. I couldn’t do anything or be anything without you. You keep me going and make me feel loved. Thank you.My Beta BeautiesLauren, Lindsay, Sasha, Ashley, Ciara, Tyla, Amisha (the blurb queen!), Amanda, Alaina, Shi Ann, and Ana.You took the time to read my story in its worst possible shape and give me your honest feedback. I can’t even properly express my appreciation for that! Thank you.Julianna RatcliffeThank you for letting me borrow your name for my heroine just because I liked it! And then thanks for not getting upset at all when I changed the spelling of Ratclif

  • Consolation Prize   Epilogue

    A woman can’t change a man because she loves him; a man changes himself because he loves her. —UnknownMy wedding day started just shy of seven o’clock on a warm June morning, about two weeks after my twentieth birthday. It was the summer break before my senior year of college. My soon-to-be wife had graduated two years earlier and was actually working for Ten’s architectural firm, in the accounting department. And we’d been living in our own place—no other roommates—for about eighteen months now.I liked to tease her about becoming my nerdy, numbers-crunching accountant wife while I peeled off her conservative cotton panties and stripped her bare. She’d just blink at me dryly and then demand I go down on her in reconciliation. I didn’t exactly mind: eating my favorite pussy wasn’t the hardship for me she seemed to think it was.But this morning, there was no stripping or pussy. I woke on Noel and Aspen’s lumpy, too-short couch to two-year-old Lucy Olivia and five-year-old Beau watc

  • Consolation Prize   36. Julianna

    I love you more today than yesterday, but not as much as tomorrow. —UnknownChad’s words were flowing through my head as I came awake.We’re all basically the same. We smile when we’re happy, cry when we’re sad, eat when we’re hungry, sleep when we’re tired.Then I pictured Colton weaving his fingers through mine and examining the contrast we made together, like piano keys.And then the strange dream was gone. I was suddenly awake, afraid and frozen before I realized I wasn’t in my concrete cave anymore. And I wasn’t even cold. I was in a bed with lights and warmth and soft blankets and pillows.A rustling sound made me tip my face that way and open my eyes to watch Colton hang a dream catcher in the window. His back was to me, so he didn’t know I was awake yet. It gave me a moment to glance around the room and take in the fact I was still at the hospital. An IV was hooked to my arm and something seemed to be wrapped around my head. I lifted my sore arm and bandaged fingers slowly

  • Consolation Prize   35. Colton

    Missing you is my hobby, caring for you is my job, making you happy is my duty, and loving you is my life. —UnknownSometimes it was better not to think. As a frozen, blood-covered Julianna shivered and whimpered in my arms, smelling of piss, mildew, and all manner of gross, I watched the police cover the dead body lying five feet away with a tarp, and I tried to process what I was seeing. But I’m pretty sure my brain wouldn’t let my thoughts travel far or I would’ve had a meltdown right then and there.I was shaking as much as Julianna was. Or maybe she was trembling so much for both of us it just felt like I was too. She was like hugging an ice cube.“Blanket,” I said, lifting my face to address anyone from the horde of people gathered around us, standing there and gawking like dumbasses.Juli’s dad immediately began to shed his coat. Somewhere in my head, I wondered why I hadn’t had the forethought to take off my own coat for her, but then, I wasn’t all that sure I was able to s

  • Consolation Prize   34. Brandt

    The couples that are “meant to be” are the ones who go through everything that is meant to tear them apart and come out even stronger than they were before. —UnknownI wiped down the counter of the bar and glanced at the time. Twenty minutes until opening. I’m not sure why I was so obsessed with checking the time these past few days, but I did it constantly.Obsessively.It’d just passed the fifty-seven-hour mark since Julianna had gone missing. Twelve minutes since I’d called in to check on my brother. And about twenty-five seconds since I’d fought the urge to ditch work and drive the streets again, searching for my lost coworker.Colton was a fucking mess. I’d never seen him this out of sorts before. He’d wept this morning, losing his shit all over Aspen, and none of us had known what to do to help him.I didn’t like this powerless feeling. I had no idea what to do to ease my brother. None of us did.They said he wasn’t eating or sleeping. When he wasn’t out looking for Juli, o

  • Consolation Prize   33. Julianna

    Being deeply loved gives you strength; loving deeply gives you courage. —Lao TzuSitting on the damp floor with my back to a crumbling wall, I tugged off one of my gloves with my teeth, then picked open a scab on the tip of my finger. I’d spent all day yesterday trying to claw my way out of this concrete tomb that seemed to be some kind of small underground storm shelter. The only thing I’d managed to accomplish, though, was to give myself two hands full of broken fingernails, ground down to tattered bloody stubs.When fresh blood welled through the dirty flesh, I stuck my thumb into my mouth, sucking greedily so I could at least wet my tongue.There’d been a small puddle in the corner just under the air vent in the ceiling where water had probably leaked in when it had rained. But I’d already drank that dry, knowing it’d probably make me sick but needing it anyway.I almost wished for an insect to crawl by so I could eat it. I was literally starving to death down here. I’d screame

  • Consolation Prize   32. Colton

    Find a heart that will love you at your worst and arms that will hold you at your weakest. —UnknownI stayed with Julianna until morning, and I swear we held each other a little tighter all night long as if we both feared someone was going to barge into her room and physically tear us apart, namely her dad.After her alarm went off, we knew we needed to get up and prepare for a day full of classes, but we didn’t want to move just yet. We lay there, staring up at her ceiling as we remained wrapped around each other in our safe little cocoon.“Is it bad that I want to hunt down your ex and kick the shit out of him for telling your dad?” I asked.She huffed out a laugh. “Honey, get in line. I would love nothing more than to punch him in the throat right about now.”“I can’t believe he and your dad still talk. I mean, your dad knows why you divorced him, right?”When Julianna swallowed audibly, I looked at her. “Julianna?”With a sigh, she closed her eyes. “I just told him I felt li

  • Consolation Prize   31. Julianna

    When someone else’s happiness is your happiness, that is love. —UnknownColton straightened with surprise. “Wait, what?” His eyes went wide and scared as they darted between me and Tyla. “Pregnant?”I blinked at my roommate, utterly confused. “Yeah…what?” I asked Tyla.“Well…” She blinked at me, clearly confused. “You said something about jostling your ovaries.”I glanced toward Colton. He glanced back at me. And we both burst out laughing.Tears were streaming down my face and Colton still couldn’t calm down enough to help me explain our inside joke when Tyla finally lifted her hands, and said, “Never mind. I don’t want to know. You and your happy new relationship is making me ill.”“No, wait.” I dove at her, grabbing her arm. “I’m sorry. We’ll stop. I’ll behave, I swear.”“Yeah, I won’t touch her for the rest of the night,” Colton promised, right before sending me a big wink and then scooting me off his lap. Then he turned all his attention to Tyla. “This is your night. We’ll

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