Does Ren know about this?Ren…I need to see Ren! I was running towards the exit of the hospital before I knew what I was doing. It didn’t matter that I didn’t know where Ren was at that moment. I just had to start moving before my mind would drive me crazy. “My Lady!” I heard someone call after me, but I paid that person no mind. I ran past the gate of the Medical Office and out onto the main pathway of the Imperial palace. Where do I go from here? Ren…is he at his palace? Calm down, Rin…I tried to control my breathing as my mind raced to decide on what I should do. Everything is going to be ok. All I have to do is talk to Ren about this… …After being told that the crown prince should be returning soon from his meeting with the emperor, I decided to wait in his work room. I paced around anxiously as I waited for Ren to arrive. Time was passing by so slowly and my chest felt like it was going to explode. I was so worried, and my mind wouldn’t stop conjuring up the worst possible
“Rin…I appreciate your concern, but this is my job…” Ren said calmly. “Can’t you just send someone else?” I asked hopefully. “This is my job and I intend to fulfill my role and responsibilities. I won’t shrink back and send someone else in my place,” Ren said before he gave me a pointed look. “Ren…” I whispered his name, not knowing how to convince him otherwise. “You do your job, Rin…and I’ll do mine,” Ren said firmly. “When are you leaving?” I asked. “In a few days…” Ren replied without hesitation. My head felt light, and I was certain that I was about to faint. I closed my eyes and concentrated on breathing. The situation had gotten much worse than I could ever imagine. Firstly, there’s a war…again. Secondly, the war was at my hometown. To be precise, it was between my hometown and the empire. On top of all of that, Ren is going to war…There’s got to be a way that I can stop Ren from going to war. If that was not an option, then I will have to resort to my own back up plan.
“Don’t worry so much about it. As always, just smile and stay close to my side. If anyone asks anything, I’ll do the answering,” Ren instructed before he smiled reassuringly at me. “Ok. Thank you, Ren…” I replied. “No, thank you…for going through this with me…” Ren thanked me and I was sure that my heart just skipped a beat. …It didn’t occur to me when Ren invited me to the gala that it would be such an extravagant event. Clearly the standards for birthday celebrations in the palace were very different from what I had in mind. The day of the gala had finally arrived and to prepare me for it, the maids along with Auntie started dressing me at a little past noon. “Doesn’t the gala start at dinner time?” I asked in confusion. “It’s going to take until then to dress you up appropriately for it,” Auntie replied.“Really?” I asked in disbelief.“Really. Every year the dowager empress’s birthday celebration has a theme. Of course, the theme is chosen by her and everyone, especially the
I had to say that the way her face softened when she laughed was quite unexpected. Plastering the best smile that I could muster on my face, I tried my best to stand my ground. It was absolutely evident that she saw me as nothing more than a baby-making tool to produce her great grandchildren. She continued to observe me starting from my face before her eyes travelled slowly down my body. When she was done, she started frowning and her lips were set in a grim thin line. “It’s been a long time…and still no signs of pregnancy?” the old woman said softly but no one would miss the edge of her voice. “It’s all my fault, grandmother…” Ren replied before bowing to his grandmother. “Ren’s probably been working too hard…there were issues that he had to handle…” the emperor chimed in to help protect his son. It was clear from the way he spoke that if this didn’t go well, he would also be blamed for the fact that Ren and I have not been able to start a child. “I never asked for your explan
Ren looked thoughtful for a moment before he replied to my question.“Maybe…” Ren replied before smiling warmly at me. Once again, I couldn’t tell if he was serious or if he was just messing with my head. I sighed and decided to let it slide. “You do realize that if you keep sleeping with me, you’ll eventually have my child, right?” Ren said after a moment of silence, and I knew that it wasn’t a question. I nodded slowly at him. Of course, I knew. “What about you?” Ren continued asking. “What about me?” I asked, feeling quite confused. “Do you look forward to seeing the face of our child?” Ren asked softly as his eyes watched my face intently. Is he asking me if I want to have his child? Having a son that looks like a younger and cute version of Ren would be nice. I’ve never seen him as a baby or a child before so…“…I guess…” I whispered. “I think having a daughter would be nice…” Ren said after a moment of thought. “A daughter?” I asked, unable to hide my surprise. I was m
Instead, I wrapped a robe around myself before heading towards the door to see what was going on. Slowly, I slid the door open a crack to see a nervous-looking maid standing in front of my bedroom door. “Good morning, what is it that you need?” I asked politely. “Umm…excuse me, My Lady…but there’s an urgent message from the emperor to the crown prince…” the maid said before she bowed low and extended the letter in her hand towards me. I opened the door wider so that I could reach out for the letter. After taking it in my hand, I told the maid that she could leave and thanked her. She seemed very relief to be excused. My attention immediately went to the letter that was in my hand. It must be something urgent…Quickly, I returned to the bed and nudged softly on Ren’s shoulder. If it’s a letter from the emperor, then I should give it to Ren as soon as possible. It could be something very urgent about work and I was afraid that Ren would get into trouble if he didn’t respond. Perhaps,
We went as far as to submit fake evidence to prove that he had taken my virginity. Of course, the emperor and everyone else was under the impression that our relationship started on that night. The truth was far from it though.“What are you implying?” the emperor asked suspiciously. I had a feeling that no one in the room, including the emperor, had missed the hidden implication behind Prince Kin’s accusatory words. Nervously, I glanced over at Ren and saw that he hadn’t reacted at all to his brother’s words. “The crown prince is always busy working and Lady White Lotus is always busy working at the hospital. That’s what I’ve heard and apparently it seems to be true. With the two of them being so busy, you can’t blame me for questioning if the two are really in a relationship at all…” Prince Kin hypothesized. “That’s what I’ve heard as well, emperor. It is also true that Lady Kamiya is still not with child…” the empress quickly supported her son. I glanced over at Ren again and s
My mouth hung open in shock as I wondered what Ren was going to do. Why did he just apologize to me? What is he about to do?!I could feel everyone’s eyes on me and the hold that he had on my arm tightened. Without warning, Ren lifted up my arm slightly before his other hand pulled the sleeve of my robe up my arm, exposing my entire arm for all to see. I gasped in shock at the sudden motion of my sleeve being yanked and then my entire arm was exposed up to my shoulder. I gasped loudly before I realized that I wasn’t the only one that gasped. Apparently, the other ladies in the room were also shocked at Ren’s action. It was a moment later that I realized that everyone had an expression of shock on their faces. At first, I was slightly confused; however, when my eyes drifted to my naked arm, I immediately understood their reaction. On the skin of my arms were various love marks that Ren had left from the night before when he sucked and kissed my arm and then my shoulders. Of course, t
“Really? I think you’re as young and as pretty as before…if not more pretty…” Ren said reassuringly before he bent down to kiss my cheek tenderly.Although I knew that he was probably just saying it to please me, I couldn’t help but feel my heart flutter at his words. The truth was that I have aged, and I definitely don’t look as fresh or young as I did all those years ago. Even I wasn’t foolish enough to believe that I haven’t aged. “Thank you, Ren…but that’s not really the point…” I replied with a small laugh. “Can’t we try for one more? Please…just one more…” Ren pleaded sweetly. “But we already have three children…” I pointed out. “But we don’t have a daughter yet…” Ren said with a sigh as he looked depressed and deflated. I wanted to roll my eyes at fate. Most women had problem pleasing their husband and his family because they couldn’t produce a son. In my case, I had no problem producing sons, but my husband was adamant in wanting a daughter so that he could spoil her like
My political influence changed again when I became pregnant with my second child and soon gave birth to another very healthy son. Having two sons for the emperor gave the entire empire confidence that the line of succession is secure. Despite Prince Kin’s women giving birth to a few sons as well at that point, it was clear that the line of succession will continue in Ren’s branch of the family, much to the dowager empress’s joy. Strangely, I have developed an amicable relationship with the dowager empress over the years as she had taken much interest in her great grandchildren. Naturally, I was favored without needing to do anything much. Unfortunately, the dowager empress passed away from old age before she got to see the face of our third child. To my utmost surprise and to many others’ jealousy, she had chosen to leave all her treasures to me so that I could distribute it to my children’s wives when they got married. I cried so much at her funeral that Ren had to step in and lead
Lately Ren has found his work as the emperor boring and repetitive. As a result, he has been spending more time with me and our children. That was a great thing for me and our family, but I wasn’t sure if it was best for the empire. “Shin can take care of most things. He’s unmarried, has no kids, and loves the empire. He’s perfect for the job,” Ren said before laughing loudly. That was his response when I asked him about skipping out on some of his royal duties. It’s been around 7 years now since Ren and I got married but Shin was still as single and free as a bird. Despite our efforts to get him to settle down, Shin had some how successfully evaded the topic of marriage all together. Even an arrangement by the previous emperor couldn’t tie him down. Shin now considers my children as his own and acts as their loving godfather. …When we arrived back at the main palace, I was greeted by my second son, Rem. Rem is more of a carefree spirit compared to Rou. He doesn’t seem super devot
“It sounds very complicated. In my town, weddings are something that you celebrate with your close friends and family in a simple way…” I mumbled. “I’m sure that doesn’t apply if you marry a prince or if you’re becoming the next empress,” Ren said with a laugh. “I guess you’re right…” I said with a nod of my head. “Don’t worry too much. We’ll both have it easy until the day itself. If you’re not too picky, you can leave the preparation to the officials and the staff. They’ll get everything done and if you have any special requests, just let them know and they’ll figure it out,” Ren said before he patted my head. I guess planning my own wedding was out of the question. I was sure that whatever the officials in charge had in mind would be very different to what I wanted. Recalling the minimal version of the wedding dress that Ren once made me wear to appear in court, I shuddered at the thought of the real wedding dress itself and the ceremony involved. “I’ll leave it to them then.
“Why didn’t you tell me about the baby?” Ren asked the moment the door to my bedroom closed behind us. “I…I was just waiting for the right moment to tell you,” I said honestly. “When did you find out?” Ren asked. “About a month ago while we were still in the middle of war,” I confessed softly. “You should have told me,” Ren insisted. “But you were so busy, and you were out there fighting every day. I didn’t want to add to your burdens,” I explained. “Regardless, you still should have told me,” Ren repeated his same opinion. “I’m sorry, Ren. It wasn’t like I was trying to keep it from you,” I apologized sadly. “I would have taken care of you better…” Ren muttered. Is that why he was so mad? “You’re so sweet, Ren,” I said before giggling. It was probably the first time that I think I saw Ren blush. I couldn’t stop myself from giggling at the sight. “Thank you, Rin. I can’t wait to raise our baby together,” Ren said as he hugged me close to him. “Me too…” I replied before sm
“But if you go, they might kill you…” Shin said. “Isn’t there someone who can help me?” I asked as a thought struck me. “You can’t be seriously thinking about…” Shin muttered as he probably caught on to what I was thinking. “Please, Shin…please help Ren…please help me…” I begged. “Shit…this is crazy…” Shin said in pure disbelief. I watched as Shin sprinted off. After he was gone, my legs lost all its strength and I eased down onto a nearby chair and concentrated on keeping my breathing calm. I placed a hand on my tummy as I prayed that all three of us would be safe. …**Back to the present**Everyone looked towards the entrance of the hall, where a frail old woman walked in slowly with her most trusted eunuch supporting her arms on both sides. Despite her age and her weakened body, the Dowager Empress walked with a straight back full of pride. In unison as if they had practiced it beforehand, everyone stood up from their seat and bowed. Ren and I did the same. “Mother…” the em
After quite a long while had passed, all five doctors were done with inspecting my body. Ren returned back to my side before he placed a comforting hand on my shoulder as we all waited for the verdict from the doctors. “So, what is your opinion regarding the Lady White Lotus,” the emperor asked impatiently. Each doctor was asked to present his view one by one starting with the least senior and ending with Doctor Pai, who was the most senior of them all. “Your Majesty, I believe that the Lady White Lotus is with child,” the first doctor stated before bowing deeply to the emperor. The whole hall erupted in whispers and gasps of shock. Some members of court who had undoubtedly been eagerly waiting for the next royal heir cheered and clapped their hands. “Silence. Next…” the emperor said firmly as he invited the next doctor to give his opinion. “Your Majesty. The Lady White Lotus is indeed pregnant,” the second doctor said before bowing to show his respect. “Next…” the emperor said
I can do this. I can do this. I can do this! “There is no need to punish the crown prince because I am without a doubt loyal to this empire. I wish for a bright future for this empire because that would mean a bright future for our child…” I said, making sure that my voice rang loud and clear. “Rin…” I heard Ren whisper my name. “What are you saying?” the emperor asked as a frown formed in between his brows. “I am with child. I am pregnant with the crown prince’s child,” I stated firmly. I could feel and hear everyone’s shock. Loud gasp of surprise filled the room followed by whispers. I could feel everyone’s eyes on me, and I placed my hands over my stomach as if to protect the baby that was inside. “What are you saying? Leave with Shin right now,” Ren hissed to me as he came to my side. “No…I am not leaving you…” I said stubbornly. “Is it true, Rin?” Ren asked softly, I could feel his gaze on my stomach. I smiled weakly at him as I nodded. His eyes widened in surprise befor
Ren stood up from his seat and all eyes were on him. He took in a breath to calm himself before facing the emperor and the members of court. “I believe that the punishment decided for the town of Amber Leaves is just and fair. The emperor who also approved it seem to share my beliefs. The people of the town had no knowledge of what was going on and did not benefit from the enemy. Because of this, I believe that they should not be punished. I spent more than three months fighting the war. Compared to someone who had never stepped foot on the battlefield or the town itself, I believe that it should be fair to say that I am more knowledgeable about the situation,” Ren said calmly.“What about the punishment for Lady White Lotus? It is indeed her town that rebelled against the empire,” a senior member of court inquired sternly. “The Lady White Lotus has failed to deliver a royal heir for this empire as well. It has been a very long time and she is not yet with child,” the empress spoke