Chapter 184

THE NEXT MORNING, I work out for two hours before showering and heading to the tavern at eleven. The first thing I notice is the transformation the place has gone through. Christmas decorations are everywhere. An enormous decorated tree stands in an alcove by the fireplace. It depresses me. Christmas always depresses me.

The first Christmas after my mom died was hard. Joel and I made frozen pizza and watched games on television. No tree or decorations. My mom loved Christmas, and spoiled us no matter how old we were. Losing her in a car accident took the holiday spirit right out of us, and pizza and ball games became the norm. Joel and I kept up the "do nothing" tradition until two years ago, when Cami came into his life. I stayed in my room and let them have their holiday together, only coming down for the dinner Cami prepared. I ignored the minimal decorations that Cami insisted on, and went back up to my room as soon as I could. Last year, they invited me to their house, but I didn