ASHLEY

I think my talent in this world is keeping secrets. I have even mastered keeping secrets from the people I'm closest to in the world, my three best friends, soon to be four. 

Yes I know a lot of things, like the fact that Max and Santiago have been hooking up behind everyone's back for a long time now or the fact that the sole reason why Tatiana wears makeup is to hide the occasional bruises 'accidentally' inflicted on her by her stepfather. 

Maybe the later isn't something I should keep a secret but it's a sensitive subject and I know Tatiana wouldn't appreciate me talking about it. 

But the biggest secret I have managed to keep to myself has to be about myself. It's something I have never been able to talk about with my parents, my friends or even myself.

I have always been somewhat confused about my sexual preferences but I have never dared to entertain the fact that I might be anything other than straight, until now or rather until her.

I can't exactly explain that Kristen has evoked in me but I can say they are quite overwhelming. I have never felt like this, or rather I have never allowed myself to feel like this. 

I keep looking at her, mesmerized by her emerald green eyes and messy  blonde curls. She's stunning and she's not even trying.

"Hey Parker!" An inpatient voice startles, snapping me into reality. "Are you going to move?" Oh it's only Liam, the guy who sits next to Max in several classes, reminding me that it's lunch break and that I'm holding up the line in the cafeteria.

"Sorry." I apologize quickly and start to catch up with Max and Kristen who are making their way to our table.  Mckayla and Tatiana have already started eating without us, no surprise there, since Mckayla is always on punctual.

Kristen is frowning as she sits next to Tatiana and Max. Dang it, I wanted to sit next to her!

"Do they always stare at you guys?" She's referring to the people who won't stop looking and talking about us. I suppose today it's a bit too much because of the scandalous tape involving Max.

"They are not looking at us." Mckayla says, her voice anything but friendly. It's not personal though, Mckayla is just naturally intimating.

"They are not?" Kristen is a little taken aback by her tone.

"Oh no." Tatiana chips in. "They are looking at Miss Pornstar here." 

"Tatiana!" Max chastises her.

"What?" She shrugs. "Im not lying?" Her tone isn't teasing, making me wonder if there's tension between the two.

Max rolls her eyes, clearly oblivious to  Tatiana's icy attitude towards her. "I still can't believe people are making such a big deal about this. Making a bet about me is just low, even for them."

"They made a bet about you?" Kristen is obviously surprised by all this but not the rest of us, with Max you should expect just about anything.

"Bet you wish you had stayed at your old school." I say without thinking. I hadn't meant to say the words out loud but too late now.

Kristen looks at me for the first time in hours and I start to feel those unfamiliar but warm feelings. "Oh no. This is a total upgrade. I have never made friends this fast or friends in general." She adds before quickly looking up at everyone else. "We are friends, right?" Somehow she needs clarity.

Gosh she's so adorable.

Max and Tatiana burst into fits of laughter and even Mckayla smiles. "Wow, you are so funny." Max says. "Of course we are friends. You are one of us now."

Kristen looks genuinely relieved, like she was actually worried we would deny being friends with her. Yeah, like that will ever happen. Contrary to what people believe, we are not really mean girls.

"Great, you guys are cool." She smiles and it makes me feel giddy, proud that I had something to do with that smile.

"Gosh you are so cute." Tatiana says to her and starts to stroke her blonde curls. "Isn't she cute Mckayla?" 

I instantly feel a twinge of jealousy because of the way she's touching her. Not only is Tatiana close enough to actually touch and feel Kristen but she can  do it so easily without giving anything about herself away. 

And also Tatiana is wrong, Kristen isn't cute, she's gorgeous!

But I'm just being petty. My jealousy is unjustified because I know that I could because I know I can never master the confidence to say that out loud, especially without taking one of my 'magic pills'. Lucky Tatiana.

"I like your hair. Are you a natural blonde?" Tatiana is still playing with Kristen's hair.

"Yes, I'm natural blonde." She adds, blushing a little. "But to be honest I have always wanted to have pink highlights."

"Pink highlights?" I blurt out.

I should talk more because everytime I open my mouth she looks at me. "Yes, I have always wanted to have a bit of pink in my hair. In my head it looks so cool but my mom said no."

Hmmm, so she thinks pink highlights are cool huh. I wonder what my mother would say if I decided to get pink highlights in my hair. She will probably go ballistic but maybe I should try them. I have never dyed my hair before but there's a first time for everything and if Kristen thinks it's cool, then it will definitely be worth the lecture my mom will no doubt give me. 

"My mom wouldn't even notice if I changed my hair color much less care about it." Tatiana says under her breath. I don't think she meant to say it out loud, she never talks about her family and especially not her mother.

There's an awkward silence following Tatiana's comment about her mother. I guess no one really knows how to respond to what she just said. 

"There's something I don't understand," Mckayla breaks the awkward, no doubt for her best friend's benefit. "If you are Liesa Conte's daughter, then why are you dressed like a homeless person?" Only Mckayla can get away with openly insulting someone like that.

"Is that how the homeless people from your side of town dress?" Tatiana's cold tone is back, only this time it's directed at Mckayla. I don't know what it is, but something is definitely off about her today.

"Plus she's not dressed like a homeless person." Max defends Kristen's choice of clothing before Mckayla can answer Tatiana's question. "I like her style, it's a mixture of tomboyish and vintage."

"Well, unlike my mother I don't really put much thought in what I wear. I suppose I didn't inherit her stylish gene." Kristen says as she tucks a strand of hair behind her ear.

Max grabs both her hands. "Well you have us now and we will help you with anything including picking out clothes."

"Ummm ok." Kristen chuckles nervously. "I could definitely use the help." She admits.

"We should go shopping after school today!" Max says excitedly. 

Oh no, I don't really enjoy shopping but I put up with it for my friend's benefits. And by 'friends' I mean the sisters, because Tatiana and I are pretty much in the same boat when it comes to shopping, for different reasons of course.

"Ok sure."

"Great!" Max practically claps her hands in excitement. "Mckayla knows the best clothing shops."

She's not wrong there, Mckayla is very particular when it comes to things like clothes, jewelry or even make up. I have been friends with her for years and I don't remember her giving me or anyone else a present that wasn't an updated version of something I already own, might it be a Chanel bag or Louis Vuitton slippers. I have to admit she has great taste.

"So after school we are going shopping." Max repeats with the same excited voice. Gosh she sounds like a child. "Ash?" I look at her when I hear my name. "You are coming right?"

"Yes, of course I'm coming." I say immediately. No way I'm going to miss a shopping trip with Kristen, well and other three other people too but it doesn't really matter, she will be there and I will get to be near her.

"Great!" 

Yeah, spending time with Kristen will definitely be great.