The world seemed to stop the moment we stepped inside the reception venue. I hesitated for a second but a small encouraging tug on my side makes me forget my hesitation and continue to walk until everyone can finally see us approaching. I sucked on a breath willing myself not to crumble in front of the mass of people in front of us as I heard my heart breaks all over again. But as I look at the newlywed couple I felt something I never expected to feel at this moment.
Hope.
Hope that maybe just maybe Brad and I were not really meant for each other and someone out there is really meant for me.
That everyone has someone out there.
“You okay darling?” Came a gentle and warm voice beside me. I lightly squeezed his hand and smiled. “I will be,” I whispered back, tugging him towards my friends who are already watching us with a twinkle of mischief in their eyes.
Then, Arya opened her mouth emitting an ear-piercing shrieked that blankete
I looked up at him, panting. He's already furiously staring at me, painfully gripping my arms while his body pressed against mine, trying so hard to intimidate me.“What the hell, Elle?! Are you that desperate? That pitiful to come here at my wedding prancing with your new husband, no less my boss as an act of revenge? That’s low even for you.” Brad snarled, face inches away from my face.“An act of revenge? Really? Why would I ruin the very wedding I worked so hard for months, Brad?” I waited for some semblance of love I had felt for this man to came. It never did. The fact that the reality had already sunk in but the feeling was just never there. I wish I could have felt something. I just feel empty like the love that was supposed to be there vanish.“Because you're jealous, Elle there's no other explanation.” The funny thing is, as I look at the man I've been with for eight long years I don't feel jealous. I'm mad but I'm not jealous.“Jealous?! Me?
The thing about heartbreak was you can’t see anyone other than the person that had hurt you. You can’t see how someone else looks at you because you’re blinded by the pain and betrayal from the past. You looked at everyone like they’re out to get you. Life becomes a series of black and white. Right and wrong. Good and bad. It’s bleak, lonely, and sad.Laughter becomes fleeting and happiness seems nonexistent. And though you appreciate the company and support the wound was still there. Someone may fill up the gap but it doesn’t heal the wound from the past.I was abruptly pulled from my meditative state as Killiad’s voice cut through the thick ambiance inside of his car. I don’t know how long we were just sitting without talking as he let me have my space.“You sure you don’t want it cleaned?” He suddenly asks eyeing my busted knuckles. I shook my head. It’s throbbing but the scrapes already numbed down. Surely if I could handle being cheated and betrayed, I c
“True.” I agreed, nodding my head. He took a couple of steps so we were side by side, without asking permission his hand gently grasped my elbow, guiding me to the farthest near the safety railings.Then, he took out his phone. Seconds latera low bass note blared as the first beat started follows by the chord a little higher on the piano.I immediately recognized the music. It's a waltz, the same one I picked for my wedding but have to change it because Brad doesn't like it, he said it's too intimate for a room full of people.“This is late but we never got to dance our first dance as man and wife,” he murmured.“May I have the honor to have the first dance with you, Mrs. Elizabeth Knight?” My eyes misted at his thoughtfulness. How can they say this man is cruel and ruthless when all he did was make my heart sang.I placed my hand on his, accepting his invitation. “It'll be a pleasure, husband.”“I never got to say this
Feelings.The feelings of kindness and compassion were outrageous especially when I want to strangle someone with the name of Arya Petrov.I’m not a violent person. I swear. I survived eighteen years in a house with two adults trying to shape me into someone I am not. I didn’t throw things. I didn’t stomp my feet. I didn’t let their lecture and disappointment stopped me from being me. I thought I grew numb when it comes to them.And then Brad happened.Hitting rock bottom is never easy even if I have my friends with me. But for my family, expecting me to just bounce back unscratched is ludicrous and downright impossible.Now, who’s the disappointment?Am I? Or them calling me at three in the morning to say sorry for not making it to ‘my wedding’?Lovely, huh?I told them everything. Well, not everything, I purposely omitted the part where I married a different man a week before ‘Brad and I's wedding’.And
Should I tell her?Nah, she's too much of a gossip to be trusted with such details.I gawked at her in mocked surprise, “I bet.” I said dryly. “And by the way, I think you're dreaming on the other ninety-nine times you claimed you called. You called once, R! And the only reason I hadn't picked it up because you just let it rang once before turning off your phone. Once R! Not a hundred times.”She didn't even look embarrassed. “True. But that’s because I realized that I might be disturbing you two on your—” she said wiggling her brows.She did. But I didn't voice that out, afraid that they'll see right through me. Afraid that they'll see how Killiad's mere presence is affecting me in ways no one did, even Brad.Last night, I completely drifted off on Killiad's shoulder and then my phone rang, waking me up. After attempting to call back my friend I asked Killiad if he could dri
“Do I have to choose?”“What about this. I just bought a property on the Cliffside. Why don't we head over there? The weather is good and at the same time I could ask you what you think about the cabin.”“A cabin?”“A rundown cabin. It goes with the property when I bought it. I thought of doing the repair myself.”“Cliffside? That's near the woods, right?”“It's within the woods just like the one where I brought you last night.”“Why? Can we just eat right here? Or the park?” at least I won't be alone with Killiad again. Being with him makes me lower my guard down, and being vulnerable is the last thing in my mind a couple of weeks after I caught my ex-fiance doing another woman.“I have something to tell you in private and in case you decided to throw things or shout at my face then you can do so without the neighbors' knowledge.” He said, winking at me.It's probably about our marriage and his choice to stay with it for whatever reas
“Did you just change the car?” I asked the moment I stepped out of the building. A few of the passersby had stopped and gawked at the sleek and beautiful Lambo Killiad had changed to the car he usually drives.“Do you like it?” His eyes were fixed on my face the whole time he rounded the car to get my small bag and opening the door for me.Jaw-slacked, I stared at the interior in awe and amazement before I met his twinkling gray eyes. “Yes, but I don't really mind the other one.”He shrugged his shoulder like it was not a big deal. “I want to impress you.” I stared at him, expecting to see arrogance and smugness seeping out but all I saw was his serious and expectant look.I want to yell at him but at the same time, I was touched by his effort. Nobody wanted or had made an effort to impress me before. It was me who always chase someone for approval be it my clients, or my parents, or Brad, they are all the s
His hard gaze promptly softens when he saw the terrified expression on my face.Killiad cleared his throat, gazing at me mournfully. “I'm sorry, my University days were not as fun as everyone else.”I gulped nodding my head not saying anything.“Wife,” I stole a glance at him before looking away again. I don't want to say anything that could trigger a fight that I couldn't win.‘But Killiad is not Brad, Elle. Stop comparing two different people.’ a voice in my head chided.Triggers. Words or actions that sometimes could change our mood drastically. It's part of the trauma caused by accidents or situations we don't what to go back to.Maybe Killiad was no different than me. Perhaps he's battling his own demons in silence.My terror was triggered by Killiad’s abrupt change in demeanor. While Killiad’s changed in demeanor change when I asked about his University.“Yes,” I
There are thousands of reasons to be sad, angry, and cry but there are millions of reasons to be happy, thankful, and trust again.It's what life taught me.We could always find a reason to run away. To never look back. Heartbreak does that to a person. Sometimes we focused too much on the hurt and pain we failed to see the positive things that surround us.Heartbreak made me see clearly what's in front of me. Yes, it made me doubt myself and everyone around me but it taught me to take a leap of faith.The moment I stepped a foot inside Killiad’s building memories rushed in like a swirl of colors and emotion.“Welcome home Mrs. Knight.” The head of security greeted me as I walked by his post in the entrance.“Good afternoon, Luis and thank you.”“Do you want me to escort you to the penthouse?” I shook my head, a grateful smile on my face.“I'll be fine but thank you for asking,&rd
Turns out, Emily is not in Gavin or her brother's place, Ethan. Though as I thought over it I didn't remember Emily introducing Ethan to me or anyone of us in the office as her brother. I just assume given their brother-sister devotion to each other.And as I asked Ethan about Emily's whereabouts he seems unbothered about it. In fact he looks like he'd been expecting it.“Em? Where are you?” I asked, my voice tinged with panic and relief as I snatched my phone on the table the moment it rang, flashing Emily's name on the screen.She chuckled at the other side of the call. That's a good sign, right? “Relax, I'm fine, Elle.”“Is Grayson with you?” I inquired directly. After my call with Killiad, I've been stressing where was Emily. It's not like her to just take off like that. So, instead of finalizing my plans for the day, I opted on looking
Days passed in a blur of tears of forgiveness and happiness. My life is almost perfect. Almost.I hadn't officially moved out on Killiad's place. I didn't want to. I'm just waiting for him or his secretary to call me to get my things out of his place. But I know Killiad won't do anything of the sort even if his life depended on it. He's a good man, a really good man and I am very fortunate to know a man like him.I felt drain, I'm not sleeping well for the past month and it was slowly taking a toll on me. But today's Monday and Mondays were killer for all the people working from eight to five.I should be back in the office where I'm needed or I risk being late on my eight-thirty meeting on the divorce attorney Brad had recommended. But Emily hadn't gone out for grocery shopping for the cupboard supplies in the office plus I'm starving.For the last week, I had lived off of the food that my husband was sending me in the office. It never crossed my mind to
Hours later, I stood outside the gigantic gate of my parents' house, working up the courage to talk to them. It's been a week and they only have Sunday as a day-off that is, if they won't be called back to the hospital at the end of the day.My childhood home was still the same even the creaked and groaned of the gate as it opens, the sound of the soles on my shoes as it hits the brick walkway. I felt nostalgic as I looked around the place. This was the first place that held the memories of my childhood. Both happiness and sadness lay in every corner of the place that had held my young heart.A small sad smile curved up on my face. I made a lot of mistakes and I know I couldn't undo them but as I think my life through I realized it taught me the best lessons in life.I couldn't lose my parents again. They had sacrificed everything they had and I pushed them away. Not anymore.Trust is a brittle thing that should be enforced with love to make it stronger.
“Woah! What is it this time?” Emily asked as a way of greeting as she sauntered inside my office without knocking. It was clear in her face that she's excited on my behalf.“Breakfast from my favorite restaurant,” I mumbled looking anywhere but my Secretary. I don't know why I felt embarrassed about eating it. It's food and on top of that, it is my favorite.Killiad has been sending me flowers, breakfast, lunch, dinner with notes raging from ‘I miss you, I've been thinking about you and ‘Please come home, we could fix this.No, I love you or I care for you. Nothing. I want to hope but I couldn't afford to. It'll hurt too much and I don't know if I could survive the pain.I wonder what he wanted to fix. Our marriage or his life. He probably wanted to rid of me.Emily scoffed, trying to stifle her laugh.“Please don't stop your obvious mirth on my account,” I rolled my eyes, picking my pen.
“You look like sh*t,” Gavin commented just as I step on the rooftop of the bar where we usually hang out when the four of us– Gavin, Gustavo, Grayson, and I are in one city.“Gavin!” Gustavo hissed under his breath on his little corner.I tipped the bottle of beer in my hand in Gavin's direction, nodding my head. “I feel like one, bro.”He rolled his eyes, sitting on the small table. He had never taken his eyes off me as I stagger into the railing. “Can't you just call her?” I wish it was that simple.I shook my head like the thousand times I did when my finger hovers above her name on my phone screen. It feels like Mom all over again. Though I have everything money could buy I don't have the only person that I ever wanted.Space.She needed space. I ought to give her the space she wanted, after all, I had lied and hidden secrets from her. I broke the trust that she had given me. Ho
If I could just snap my fingers and wake up from this nightmare.I have never been so terrified for myself or others. Perhaps it's my fault. I didn't want the attachment. Attachment means physical and emotional responsibility. It means you have to fully giving yourself to someone became you trusted them to take care of yours and they trusted you to do the same. It'll mean my childhood all over again.I've never been so scared for a stranger jumping out of nowhere to save me.That would mean I would be responsible for his life if he's still alive after that single shot went off.I lay unmoving trying to feel every part of my body. At my peripheral vision, I saw Killiad pounding the glass wall mercilessly. He looked tortured, defeated, and scared out of his wits.If he could just look in my direction.My breath caught when then the muscled stranger groaned, a grimace marring his handsome face. He's tall, big, dark, and handsome. He's like the
Funny how can someone mean so much to me after a few hours spent together years ago. I frequently question myself why but like a parasite I clung to her, to our memories spent together, her strength and vulnerability, my darkness to her light.Indeed, the best stories usually begin unexpectedly.Or maybe not.All those years, she’d been my compass, my own guiding path. Our memories together pushed me to where I am today. Elle saved me that day. I was on the edge of losing myself, I was about to give up but then she came barging into my life and I was left with a purpose after that fateful night. That night I feel something I hadn’t felt in a long time.Belongingness.She made me feel human. Complete with happiness, sadness, and grief. She made me peek through the gap of true happiness and for the first time before Elle came into my life I feel peace at heart. She washed away my anger and tame the chaos that took residence in my head.
Blistering heat hit me from the afternoon sun as I walk out of my office for a late lunch at my favorite Mexican place.A smile curves up in my face as I looked around. The world is extra vibrant like an old musical movie playing on a vast lawn with the cold night breeze blowing in the background.It was a scene–a fantasy that had played out many times than I could count when I was falling asleep. It was a safe haven for me in my dreams. A smile tugged up at the corner of my lips. I circle my arms around my stomach as the urge to skip on the sidewalk while humming a nameless tune came over me.As I rounded the corner, nostalgia hit me right in the gut as the scene around me played in a manner like the last movie I had watched.I had watched it with Killiad. I remember wiping a stray tear in my eyes as we watched the movie in silence while I was cocooned in Killiad's warmth.A smile started to bloom on my face the moment I saw Killiad's famili