Sip 1

"LOVE"

For others, it is a necessity in life. It is something important that they can't live without, and others that see it like trash and trample it so easily.

To me, it is something unknown for myself, is it essential for me? Or is it a luxury which I can never afford?

I always acted so freely, and didn't think much of worries around my surroundings.

Never did I know... That one day, I will be saying these words.

"I tried to wait but it's painful... If loving is like this... Crushing me, and losing who I am... I don't want to love anymore."

"If I have to be selfish and chain you near me so that I'll never lose you then I would."

Will this love be fruitful?

Is it all worth it?

Can I all be whole again?

~~~~

As the school bell rings, the students start to settle down and wait for their teacher to enter the classroom.

" I hope we can sit together this time," a girl with soft reddish long hair told the student across from her.

"Yeah, I really want to, in middle school we always end up so far across the seat plan, I hope we can seatmates again!" replied the girl with shoulder length hair.

The teacher entered and started to introduce the class, and checked the attendance.

"Canary Lienne"

"Present!" yelled so lively by the girl with brownish shoulder length hair.

“ Hi there! My name is Canary Lienne, you can call me Cana for short. This is a typical story wherein we just entered high school, together with my best friend in grade school. With our time together, dreams we wish to achieve and to enter college. It's been half of our high school days.” 

"Cana, let's go eat down the café, across the school. They have a new cake on sale!" said my best friend Mia who continues to grow taller and get plumper on her chest. How can someone be so gifted? She's not just pretty and smart, but getting so sexy and mature as we grow older. Maybe she'll be a campus crush once we get into college.

"Really? That's a good idea!" I excitedly replied, it's a rare opportunity for us to go together these days because of someone else. 

"Yeah, come and let's go before it gets crowded, I reserved seats for us!" speaking of the devil. 

“You’re coming too?” I asked the person who will be making me their third wheel.

The mood is going good, but.. Who is it? It was Simon, he is our classmate and Mia's secret boyfriend. A year and a half ago, as per the introduction of this story, Mia and I wished to be seated together. It did happen tho, he was beside her. At first he looks so timid and cold, he ignores others and has a closed personality..

Until a certain scenario, opened up his heart. That person was the one to break the ice. It was Mia. I am not against them being together, I will admit I felt jealous of him as he is now another important person other than me who is Mia’s best friend. Anyways, I will be the only best friend. He is the boyfriend, it's a different category so he should not be petty of Mia’s closeness to me, because I met her first!

I even remember how unexpected it is that Simone had been confiding with me during the early stage that he is getting to know Mia, "Cana, please don't hate Mia... It's just she's doing things for me because she's trying to keep her promise not to tell the secret about my situation." It was him who approached me first at that time. I already have a guess since I’ve known Mia when she kept things secret from me, and knowing that it was something that Simone requested to be in private, I have no other choice.

"It's not that I misunderstand her." I replied coldly, of course part of me still felt uncomfortable.

"Then, why are you avoiding her? She's been really upset, and I know it was because of me and trying to distance her for my sake" he said while getting worked up.

If he already knew it, then he must do something about the matter.

"Listen to this." I straightened my back and looked down at him acting like I am taller.

"I am her best friend and you can never replace me or try to steal it from me! No, don't even think about trying to steal that position."

"Huh? Ah, what?" he is now confused, i better say things in good light and clearly before anything else.

"What I am saying is if you ever made her cry, you will receive this strong fist of mine! I might be skinny, but I am telling you that I do track and field and not only my legs but my arms are quite strong too!" I smiled at him, who is now taken aback, then he slowly smiled.

"I understand, I will keep that in my heart and mind.'' That is where all the three of us  started to hang out together.

"As per me and Mia, let her have the courage first... She has a habit of keeping everything to herself, she's been my best friend since we were children and I want to continue and grow with her... " It flashes the time when she first speaks up to me, I could see her trembling eyes and shaking hands when she first tried to ask me to become friends.

"Ahhh, why is this guy coming? I cannot disturb you on your date!" I speak what's on my mind to them.

And immediately they said"NO!" while blushing. Pfft! These two are quite similar.

"That's not it, we really decided to go altogether, I even invited Oliver from my class to join." Simon replied.

"Yeah, we really wanted to! Here, we have four tickets for the reservation already." Mia showed it to me.

Then suddenly, Oliver called at the classroom door.

"Hey! Guys, I'll pass the café. My brother is asking me to babysit my nephew since he has changed with the schedule and needs to work the night shift."

"What? But, you promised!" Simon was taken aback.

"That’s better, rather than to look like we're all on a double that, and me with Oliver? Duh!” I took the other two tickets and said "You two must go, and enjoy it together, then I'll keep these spare tickets if I ever had someone to eat with okay? This is good for a week or so right?"

""Ehm... Cana, you mean.. Do you have someone to go with you to the café?" Mia said, embarrassment fills me, she really is clueless.

"I have no one in mind yet, but I guess I can invite one of my cousins, they are fond of cakes so I am sure they'll accompany me." I winked at Simone who was grinning excitedly, I just made a way for these two. 

"So, have you used the tickets to Cana? It will expire soon, so you should try it." Crap! It has been three days and I have already forgotten about that.

"Ah, my cousin said that we'll go this Saturday!" Trying to make a plausible excuse.

"Oh that's quite crowded on weekends, but shouldn't you go after school?"

"He’ll be free on the Weekend so it’s better."

"I see, it's nice that you're getting along with them... Young boys in puberty are quite hard to get along with, especially your cousins. They must be busy in college too."

"Yeah, we're good no worries." That’s how I realized the current situation I am in.

"I am home!" I announced as I arrived.

"Oh, Cana, good thing you're here, can you help at the store once you change uniform, your cousin is preparing for his College entrance exam so I can't have him be bothered."

"Yes, Aunt I'll come down fast."

"Oh good thing we have you, our boys are quite busy now, soon you'll have to go into college, I think we better hire someone soon" she complained.

"Hey, chibi, sorry to bother you for that, I'll buy you a cake once I pass the exam for your hard work at the store." It was my cousin Romeo, he is two years older than me and he has always been so caring.

"Okay then! That's a deal! So go get into your dream Uni okay!?" I smiled brightly.

"Yeah, we're rooting up for you son!" it was now uncle, who just came.

"Oh what's the occasion? You're all here? Rom and Cana too?" now it was brother Ruel, he is older than me and Romeo, they are three siblings and he is the middle child.

"Elder brother, we're just having a chat about the uni exam" Rom excitedly told his elder brother.

I watched their family chat, and I decided to go to my room and change clothes.

Actually...

I am living with my mother's distant relatives. My mom was a single parent, by the time she was supposed to graduate in her senior year, she got pregnant. She wasn't able to attend her graduation, and without a husband, and parents to comfort her... She gave birth to me alone.

Even being a single parent, she loved me and nurtured me, she never complained about how hard it was. taking care of a child at a young age, burdened her body and soon got ill. Leaving her five year old daughter alone, without anyone to be with.

Thanks to Uncle and Aunt, when they heard about my mom passing away. They traveled quite a distance from the city to the province where we are. 

My mom has known that she will not make it any longer, and sent a letter to Aunt and Uncle.

That is how, I am thankful to be here with them. The night is still too long, instead of thinking about something sad in the past. I must be thankful and live my days!

Never thought a dilemma would come on the next day.