5. My First Kiss

We finally arrived at my place. I was not ready to let him go just yet.

Wait

what?

We reached my door and I decided to invite him in for dinner. "So, you want to end this day by having dinner with me as a thank you? I can cook better than you obviously." I bit my bottom lip feeling a little nervous that he might reject my invitation.

"Don't start biting your lip like that, you're tempting me. I'll take that dinner offer, let's see how your cooking ability compares to mine." He smiled and gave me a friendly side hug and kissed the top of my head. Making me blushed.

"Marissa, if you don't mind me asking, how old are you?" He asked me, while he was sitting down in the small dining area as he waited for me to finish cooking our dinner.

I decided to make us a spaghetti dinner, it's quick and easy and I can make a delicious one. "I'm eighteen, and well I will be nineteen next month. Why? Am I too young for you?"

I suddenly stopped stirring my sauce and realized that I asked the question a bit assuming, that he would see me in a more romantic setting. I tried to brush it off, hoping that he didn't hear my last sentence. I turned off the stove and plated our dinner on the small dining table.

Damn! You

shouldn't

assume

girl!

Now he might think you got the hots for him just because he became your savior this morning. My mind was all over the place. When I finally felt him behind me.

He was resting his hands on my hips. I was panicking on the inside. I've never been this close with a boy in my entire life before. And he was definitely not a boy. He was a very well-defined handsome man.

"Yes, Marissa you're definitely too young for me, I'm twenty-eight. I shouldn't even be having these thoughts about you. I shouldn't be taking advantage of your condition right now." He was whispering his words to the back of my neck.

"You're too beautiful and too fragile for me. I shouldn't even be thinking about you all day." I stayed frozen, I could feel his lips hover on the base of my neck. I could feel his breath fanning my skin. His hands caressed my hips, I was sighing under his touches. Then he abruptly let me go.

"We should eat. This looks delicious Marissa, you weren't kidding about your cooking skill." I could see that he was adjusting himself just before he took a seat. I was blushing again.

Damn girl! Calm down. He's

ten

years older than

you, he's

a

grown-up. You're

just

a

little

suicidal

teenage girl.

I tried to fight my inner self.

"Wow, this is actually good. You even got the small sprinkles of greens, it tastes like the ones in the restaurants. Okay, I will give you points for cooking." He was complimenting my cooking, trying to avoid our previous situation. I just smile at him.

He looked at me weird again, but then he started munching on his spaghetti again. I got up and get us water and glasses. We talk in between our bites, he was very knowledgeable.

I don't usually hang with my peers back when I was in school because they would talk about meaningless stuff. I don't care about the newest shade of lipstick that was perfect for the season, or the sale of some fashionable clothing brand, or even the hot boy that just dump his cheating girlfriend.

I was truly enjoying his company. We talked way after our dinner. He even helps me with the dishes as I made us some coffee. He was sitting on the sofa and was flicking the channels when I put our coffee down.

"Are you sleepy yet? Is it safe for me to leave you now?" He still joked about my suicide attempt this morning. But he was stating it so, without any judgment, he wasn't offending me in anyways. I felt so comfortable in spending time with him. I smile at him again.

"I'm good if you wanted to leave, I'm not your burden Nate. I'm sure you got more important stuff to do than spending your day with a suicidal teenager." I sipped my coffee trying to hide my disappointment that he was about to leave.

"Hey...I don't think that you are. I think that you were just caught up in the moment this morning. You proved that by showing up at Archie's and committed yourself for work tomorrow." He took my coffee cup and set it down on the coffee table.

Then he took my strand of hair and put it back behind my ear. "I shouldn't be doing this Marissa, you should really stop me." He was cupping my face with his hand and lower his face to mine, while his eyes were looking at my lips.

I didn't stop him, I was never in this situation before. My heart was racing, I could hear it pounding in my ear.

"Marissa..."

"Hmmm...?" I couldn't compose my sentences. I don't know what to say, I was never was about to be kissed before.

Then he closes our gap, as his lips finally touched mine. It was light and sweet, he was molding his lips with mine. His other hand was on my side just under my breast.

"Marissa...open your mouth for me baby, and let me in." His voice was intoxicating, he was luring me into doing what he asked me to. I sighed as I opened my mouth.

He trailed his hand from my face to my neck and hold me close to him possessively, but treated me like I was fragile at the same time. I was making sounds that I never knew I could. He seemed to be please as he was chanting my name over and over again in between his kisses.

He finally ended our kiss as we were both breathing heavily. "I really need to go now. We need to do this slowly. Please tell me that was not your first kiss?"

I stayed silent just because he was my first kiss. Then he curses some more. "Damn it, Marissa, you are too good for me baby, you're too innocent." He got up and paced back and forth with his hand running through his thick hair.

I got up and stop him from pacing. "Nate, you are my first kiss, my first hug, first savior and you're also the first one that seen me in my birthday suit. No regrets, I'm living this day by day as you told me to." I traced both of my palms to his chest, his apparently well defined muscled chest.

I was biting my lip again, I was feeling the urges that I only read about in my romance books.

He sighed and finally hugged and kissed the top of my head. "We are taking this slow little one. I don't want to ruin you. Fucking hell Marissa, I definitely have to restrain myself from you." He pushed me flat to the wall, and hold my neck, then crush his lips to mine.

I was feeling his needs, his urgency, and his lust for me. I could feel him grinding me, he was hard, he was really hard down there. I was snaking my hand to his neck pulling him down closer. He was groaning, I was moaning his name.

Then he let me go abruptly and walk out the door and left me in my living room all alone. I looked at myself in the mirror as I walk to close and lock my front door. My lips were swollen, my cheeks were pink, my hair was a mess, but I was smiling wide, I just had my very first kiss.