Chapter 3 - What Will I Tell Brandt?

Honey

Our conversation after he asked me that question was short and to the point.

"You want me to be one of those girls? The ones that were tied down, getting whipped and ... doing that thing Mom was doing to Moe?" I was embarrassed and couldn't even say the words "sucking dick". Mortifying!

"Honey, look at me." It was hard when my cheeks were on fire, but I looked into his eyes.

"Have you ever had sex before?" This gorgeous, experienced guy was asking if I was a virgin? Please let the ground swallow me up right now! I looked back down quickly, but he gently pulled my head back up with his fingers under my chin to look at him again.

"Honey, I need to know, have you ever been with a man before?"

I shook my head vehemently, my voice not working. I wasn't experienced like him. He wouldn't want me.

He stared at me for a few minutes before he said, "That changes nothing Honey. I want to teach you. I want to show how it can be between us. We can do as much or as little of that stuff as you want. We can make a list. My question still stands. Would you consider being my next submissive?"

I told him that I had to think about it. That I would contact him the next day, which was today. I wasn't confused, but I was in shock. I had never felt this wild before, like I wanted to take a chance. Sure, I had wondered what it would be like to have sex for the first time. I wanted to be rid of my virginity, I was ready to be with the right mand for that too.  Someone I knew and cared about. That's what it should be about, right? Was Brandt the right guy? I just wasn't sure.

I didn't know him but I wanted to. He was gorgeous. Tall and lean. He had muscles everywhere. His shirt fit like a second skin. I wanted to unbutton it and pull it open, expose his skin to my gaze. I recall feeling his thickly muslced biceps as he led me in, then out of the club. He had been gentle and caring. Was it an act? I pushed my face into his shoulder and then into his chest at one point. He was hard, not an ounce of fat on him. I wonder about his legs and thighs. I never got the chance to check out how his butt fills out his jeans.

From what I've seen so far, on the outside, he seemed perfect. He looked like he could have been sculpted by a master. But what demons in his mind caused him to own a sex club? It was what I didn't know about him personally that had me hesitating. Do you just wake up one morning and decide you want to tie up your girlfriend and fuck her while you spank her?

Obviously, for myself, I have experienced something that I would never get out of my mind. Pure vanilla, missionary position sex is never going to do it for me. I know myself enough to know this. I know enough about sex to know that I would one day be back there, Brandt or no Brandt, to figure out the appeal of BDSM. I’m not foolish enough to think that I don’t want to try many of the things I saw last night. I'm smart enough and turned on enough to know that I want to try them with Brandt.

So why am I stalling? I told him I would call and let him know my decision. It’s early now. If I was him, I would still be sleeping. Having a night job of any kind, it’s not yet time for him to get up. I, myself, haven’t been to sleep yet. We were at the hospital for few hours last night and into this morning. Brody got scans and a specialist was brought in. Because of the type of break it was, he’s going to need surgery. Thank God mom has insurance through her job.

Back to the question of all questions. Would I consider going back there? To Club Voyeur? I would be with Brandt. I would be there for Brandt. What will I tell him? I don't think I would like to be on display like Moe and Mom. Twenty-four hours ago, I had never met Brandt or even conceived of a club devoted to sex. Now he wants to know if I will be a submissive?

I could not get that question out of my head. Well, there were a lot of things I couldn’t get out of my head. I mean really, it was like I went to a different planet last night. Now, I had to learn to breathe a different mixture of air and learn new food groups and languages! Sheesh. To top it all off, I was still totally dumbfounded by how I found my mother and Moe.

God. Moe had trouble looking at me at the hospital last night. I mean, I knew Moe before the club, and now I know Moe after the club. I had seen his dick, glistening with my mother’s saliva. It was quite a large cock, and it made me wonder about other things. Things I didn’t want to wonder about, at least where Moe was concerned. I was confused because my nipples tingled when I thought about that moment, the shock in his eyes. The hardness of his cock. Would they have fucked, out in the open like that? It wasn’t much different than getting a blow job out in the open, I guess. My mother had been mostly naked, I think, except a thong. I don’t see the point of thongs myself. They are just tiny scraps of fabric that go up your ass crack. And they are scratchy. What’s the appeal?

I have to admit that Moe is good-looking, but that is something you don’t think about because he’s your mom’s boyfriend. I’ve never thought about him in any other way. He will never be mine. That was a line I would never cross, so I never thought of him as a sexual being. Now I can’t stop thinking about him in that way. Especially now that he is also acting awkward. I understand the cliché now. I can’t put these worms back in the fucking can.

And now my potty mouth can’t stop cursing. I have never been much of a cursing person. I might say damn or shit, but more likely to say dang or crap! I feel like my whole personality has changed overnight. I can’t stop thinking wild thoughts, and I am so horny! I want to know what one of those dicks would feel like in me. In my pussy (used to call it my vagina) or in my mouth (never thought of that before, like ever). I want to know more even now, when my mind is going a mile a minute; I’m still trying to process what I already know, but I also want more. More knowledge and more...what is it that I want?

Even though I never in a million years thought about getting a spanking and much less being turned on by it, I want to know more about this - lifestyle? I want to see more and experience more, and I want it to be with Brandt. I want it to be now. My virgin mind is being torn in two. On the one hand, my body is throbbing with need. On the other hand, it is frightening to think I may want any of those things to happen to me. Is Brandt really the gentleman that he showed me last night? How can you be a gentleman and spank girls and tie them up for your pleasure?

The thing is, Brandt was right. Everyone seemed to be thoroughly enjoying themselves last night. Even with all the whips and chains and hand cuffs and being tied down – not one person seemed like they were having a bad time. I didn’t realize it at the time, but I have since gone over the evening many times in my mind. I could see pleasure on the faces of those that on the surface seemed to be tortured. It was erotic and dangerous. It was so weird to me that I wanted it for myself. Crazy!

I’m going to take a 2- or 3-hour nap, then I’m going to call Brandt. What do I say? Why does he want me? Is it because of my inexperience, and perhaps he wants to be the one to take my innocence? Could it be he just wants a virgin and then will tire of me? Do I see this lasting a day, a month or six? What is this kind of relationship called? I have to do some research. I grab my laptop and look up BDSM.

Bondage, discipline, dominance, submission, masochism (that one I have to look up). Um, I think I just creamed my panties? Pleasure, pain, humiliation? Erotic practices and role playing. Consensual sex for a negotiated period of time. My nipples are hard. I’m so confused about why this is turning me on right now. The search engine has provided links to some videos. I’ve never watched much porn before but what I did see was nothing like this. My pussy is sopping wet. I wish I had a dildo to fill my wet hole. I don’t know where that thought came from. I’ve never orgasmed before, not even close. Where have my inhibitions and moral code gone? Is it wrong to feel so turned on by just the idea of pain and pleasure? My safe and steady world has turned upside down. I wanted to get started on that list.

I know what I will tell Brandt when I call him.