Chapter 196

**_"Mom didn't just die, Lily"_**

It was ridiculous how time, instead of healing wounds, had you missed the person who caused them.

Sitting on Eva's bed and staring at the ceiling, I hugged her favorite purple cardigan, its softness reminding me of the times I held her close despite fighting with my demons and losing.

A quiet smile formed within me. Despite everything, her presence was my source of strength, driving me to fight harder than I ever thought possible.

Eva was the reason I was alive.

I placed the cardigan on the bed and moved to her dressing mirror. She had left most of her lotions in the manor. So now, when I was less busy, which I always was, I found myself in her bedroom, heating a spray so her smell clouded me, then lay on the bed thinking of the memories we shared.

I remembered being done with life after a rough day at lucid; I remembered staring at the bandage wrapped around my stomach and deciding to give it all up.

I had climbed the window and stood on the pane, ca