Chapter 05

Alpha Farell's POV

A sigh escaped my lips as I turned to the tall palm tree at a distance. The wind hurried, causing the branches to dance helplessly. I felt my lips tilt up a little at a fond memory; I had just turned eighteen and was eager to feel the mate bond with a member of my pack so I had attended any and every party but I still couldn't find my mate.

It was my duty as the son of the Alpha to find a suitable mate. I knew deep down that that was only an excuse. From a very young age, I had watched the display of love and affection between my father and mother. Their bond surpassed the normal mate's bond. They were soul mates. He was a fearless Alpha to all others, ruthless even, but not when he was with her.

With my mother, my father a fearless Lycan was reduced to a whiny puppy. Their friendship and companionship was next to none. And I craved it.

I had promised myself that once I found my mate I would treat her so perfectly that it would make even my parents jealous. Loosing my mother didn't dampen the love my father felt for her. She still found her way into his every conversation and definitely in his thoughts. 

This only made me crave a mate even more.  After searching in every gathering I was almost loosing hope of being one with my mate. Not until I attended her birthday party. A young female was given the spotlight in the middle of teenagers as she flung her hips every which way. Her hands moved haphazardly yet energetically around her as she hopped to the beat. 

I remembered how intoxicating her scent was that night. Like a thousand roses mixed with honey and an underlying touch of sweat. It was like nothing I had felt before. The pull was instant as my feet moved on their own accord, my eye stayed on the reason for the giddy crisis with me. 

Her eyes snapped up when I got close enough and I could almost hear her rapid heartbeat just as my body ached to have her in my arms. My mind swirled with words whispered by my heart.

"Mate" The words echoed in my heard like a midnight joyful howl. I didn't think twice before engulfing her in a tight hug. Her soft hands squeezed me as tight as she could and I bent and buried my nose in her neck, inhaling deeply more of her sweet scent. 

It was heaven. Not that I had ever been there but if heaven could be equaled to anything on earth then it would be the feeling of being wanted wholeheartedly by my mate. My arms tightened protectively around her as I tried to pull her closer than possible. 

I had been so excited and eager to seal our bond and I had done it a week after we met. It was, as described by some, irrational of the future Alpha as two months after Amy got pregnant. I had to be made Alpha and Amy my luna.

Although I became the blood moon's alpha at a young age, I still had my father to question whenever I had doubt on a required action so leading the blood moon pack wasn't too difficult with my family by my side. 

I placed my hand on my chest remembering his smile: I had been so scared when Amy had spent hours delivering him but all that anxiety and panic was rewarded tenfold when I beheld the face of my son, my heir, a product of my love with Amy. I had never been happier to hold a child in my hands. 

When I touched him for the first time I understood why so many pack members were willing to look past the pain of childbirth and proceed to making their own children. The child was worth it.

He was smart and an Identical of his father. I huffed a laugh remembering his first word had been 'papa'. Nothing could compare to the joy I felt whenever he called me papa. 

I turned away from the balcony and walked back into my room. The white bed sat arranged and without a twist in it and it irritated me. My fists clenched beside me as I pictured my son running on my bed and messing it up. Since he could walk I never had a perfect bed and I never complained. Why the goddess saw it fit for me to lose the most precious things to me is not understandable but at least now I have avenged them.

It hurt to move around the house and only be reminded of all the good memories turned sour by blood thirsty assholes. I tried to calm myself reminding my raging mind that all who killed my family have been given the same fate as they suffered. 

Well all except her. My new mate, she was still alive and I couldn't take her life, not when she is my mate. I knew I'd have to wait until I could figure out exactly what to do with her. Having another mate for me was irrelevant and unwanted. 

I was beginning to question the decision of the goddess. I have managed just fine on my own for years and I definitely didn't need a weak mate pulling me back. If she really wanted to help me at all then she would have at least given me an equal or someone close to an equal. 

She would be nothing like Amy. Strong willed and determined. Always seeking out for her husband and son. Never had my luna complained about being disrespected as she gained her respect around the pack even before I met her. 

I missed her laughter. The gentleness of it had the power to pull me into a beautiful trance for seconds without me realizing. 

My eyes fluttered close the moment my back hit the bed. I was exhausted and my body didn't waste time in acknowledging that fact as I immediately was pulled into a quick sleep and like usual I couldn't fight off the reoccurring dream. 

Her bright blue eyes crinkled in a toothy smile as she danced carelessly with our four year old son in her arms. Amy never learned to dance, never cared to. Maybe because she had known I was whipped either way. 

The little boy laughed as I chased him down with a plastic sword.  Amy ran with him in her arms, their laughter filling the house. Every second he would poke his tongue out playfully while I feigned the inability to catch up with them. 

The two were inseparable and although I sometimes got jealous of their relationship, I still enjoyed watching them play and gossip their alpha. 

A loud howl interrupted their playful shouts and my entire being stood on alert when the warning howl rang out again. I knew that instant my pack was under attack. My ears perked up as I yelled for Amy and our son. The both of them looked shaken up as guards began to get out of the houses. 

"Something isn't right Amy, stay with the kid." I made to join the men that had moved to the suspected area of need in the pack but Amy's hold on my hand was tight. She said nothing but her teary eyes spoke loud enough. 

"I will come back to you my love. I will return to you and our son." And with that I leaned in to seal my words with a kiss. 

If only I had known that would be the last. If only I had known she would breathe her last that night. If only I hadn't allowed myself be misled by that betraying alarm raiser... If only, I would have stayed with my family and prevented their slaughter. Even my father had died in the war. 

Her blue eyes suddenly stared me in the face but this time they lacked their brightness. Instead they were void and dripping blood. 

"You didn't come back." Her voice was laced with hatred and I felt my throat constrict. 

"No Amy, I came back for you and..." 

"BUT IT WAS TOO LATE." Her eyes suddenly got clouded with blood and tears poured down my eyes from the sight. 

"I tried Amy." I sobbed reaching for her hands but freezing when I saw the deep cut in her arm. A chunk of her flesh had been bitten off. 

"I killed them all, for you." 

"You failed." 

"No Amy don't say that please." 

Her fists balled as she roared. "YOU FAILED." I followed her pointed finger and looked behind me. 

On stakes was my family; Amy, my son and my father. They screamed as fire engulfed them. I felt a shout rip out my throat but couldn't hear my voice as all that clouded my senses was the smell of their burning flesh, the shout of their pain. 

I screamed as I fought my way to them but I was too late. I failed them.

I felt those words blast in my head and immediately it became hard to breathe. My lungs felt choked and I reached for my neck trying to rip out the hindrance. I gasped trying to catch a wiff of air but I only suffered the more. 

Tears rolled shamelessly down my eyes as I tried desperately to convince myself that I had done my best. But I could not hide from the truth that stared me squarely in the face. The truth that pushed me into a deep dark unconsciousness of guilt when I tried to sleep at night and pulled me awake to an unbearable reality of my failure as a mate, father and an Alpha.

I winced as cold hands fell on mine as I fell to the floor, my hands still on my neck. I tried to focus on my surrounding. I didn't want to loose Amy again, not yet; I needed to explain to her. I needed her to understand. But I felt a sharp sting in my cheek and instantly my eyes snapped open in panic. A loud shriek coupled with a loud gasp for breath from me filled the room. 

I froze when my eyes met hers. She shivered in fear as she backed away. I was only barely aware of my protruded canines and claws as I tried to fully wake from my nightmare. 

Her face was still merely in a haze as my eyes were still clouded with pain and anguish. For a moment I could swear that it was Amy wearing these simple garments and staring me in the face with such fear filled eyes. 

I took a step closer to stop Amy from running away from me again but her face slowly dissolved into the face of my new mate Star. Surely it was my eyes playing tricks on me or else I wouldn't mistake Amy for anyone else in this world. And I would definitely not mistake her for this rude and unruly weak wolf. Amy was far stronger.

I raised my hand to address her but she mistook my intention and flinched. She leaped out of my reach before my hands could get to her,  knocking of something from the shelf behind her. The loud sound of shattered glass filled the room and slowly my eyes zeroed in on the broken portrait on the floor. 

My eyes stung and darkened changing instantly from their normal hazel colour to a red shade as I battled to keep my sanity. I completely ignored the frightened girl shaking uncontrollably in front of me and I focused on the painting of Amy and our son now shattered like my life on the floor by the useless wolf I had saved.