Deidre “Who was that?” “Kira,” Benjamin replied, rifling his hand through his hair for what must have been the twentieth time. He had descended the stairs behind me a moment later, lost in thought. I wasn’t sure if it was Marge coming back for something and didn’t want to be spotted, so I had hid upstairs behind one of the first rows of stacks as he answered the door. I couldn’t see who it was, and the whole thing had felt rather foolish, but I was exhausted and didn’t care. These days weren’t going to get any easier and if I didn’t start being more careful, it wouldn’t end well. “What did she want?” I asked. “Oh, nothing,” he said dismissively, taking his seat once more. I noted that he looked slightly agitated, as though something had gone wrong between them. But he hadn’t raised his voice, nor had I heard hers raised. I accepted that he wanted to drop the subject and moved on. “Well, I thank you again for your discretion.” “No need, Luna.” He had agreed to close the archives
Perrin “You’re sure you’re ok with it?” I asked for probably the tenth time. Lo squeezed my hand as we ascended the elevator. “Of course I am. We knew there was a fifty percent chance that’s what she would decide.” “I know.” “You say you know, but it seems like you’re still unsettled.” I ran a hand through my hair. “I mean, I’m glad she decided, I just…” “Had hopes for the opposite?” She prompted, eyeing me carefully. “No, I guess… it’s just more real now, you know?” “I get where she’s coming from, though. Not wanting to tell people. I think it’s smart.” “That was her term, not mine,” I muttered. Lo smiled. “Maybe we’re more like sisters than she wants to believe. I would have asked for the same thing.” “You would?” I asked, slightly startled.” “Of course,” she said. “And it was right of you to accept her term of privacy as she finished out the pregnancy. It’s so much pressure, so much change–and while I was expecting our little blessing, it was never unwelcome. For her? Sh
Kira He didn’t try to pick me up the next morning. Which was good, because I certainly wouldn’t have let him drive us to the meeting. He could let little miss mystery tits straddle his hips and press her probably huge boobs against his chiseled, muscular back for all I care. Fuck her. Fuck him. Whatever. But given that I had half expected him to show up trying to give me a ride when all I had planned to do was give him a piece of my mind and drive myself, staying behind meant that I was running late myself. So I took off, speeding like I normally did. I nearly anticipated his criticism of my erratic driving, having no doubt seen it as the asshole nearly always saw everything stupid I ever did. But he wasn’t at the meeting. For the entire time I had known him, he had never missed a meeting. And here he was, the stupid hypocrite. Missing a meeting when he chided me even for being late. And there he was, probably, still stuck in the archives tangled up with some hussy and shucking
Chapter 98 Deidre Just… just be normal. Act. Normal. Nothing about tonight was going to be normal. Nothing about this was ever normal. I was spending time with someone who was supposed to be dead, in the dead of night, all the while pretending that I wasn’t, in fact, doing so. It’s not like I didn’t see the shadows and planes of Jason’s face everytime Sirius sat still long enough for me to steal a glance. Or that his mannerisms echoed so exactly like Perrin’s that I had to still my racing thoughts every time they happened. I had avoided my husband for the better part of several days now, stealing fitful bits of sleep and unfulfilling naps. Cynthia was communicating for us, apart from the texts here or there that I pretended not to get. He had to know. Jason had to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that what had happened to my children had happened to his son. But how could he explain it? Well, that was simple. He couldn’t. Jason, as my gut confirmed, had waited these long mont
Deidre “I was hoping you could tell me,” he said quietly, the unspoken threat and question coming out in a low, soft cadence. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I said too quickly. He let out an alarming chuckle, so fake that my body stilled again, alert and waiting. I had no reason to think I was in any danger. This was my step-son for Goddess’ sake. But the looming golden eyes that he fixed on me had me unsteady, despite being seated. His next words were slow and careful as he watched me react. “Mistra may be at a loss as to why I came out this way, but I can assure you she has told me enough about her own son to know that whatever happened to him also happened to me.” My body shivered, my flesh crawling with every word of his unwelcome suggestion, willing my body not to give away anything. “I also know Mistra well enough to know she really has no idea what happened to me,” Sirius went on smoothly, admiring his nails as if he just had them polished, breaking his stare as
Kira“Are you ready?”Perrin puffed beside me. He was up early, his own mind racing about tonight’s patrol. I hadn’t slept a wink. I was up for most of the night, restless and staring at the ceiling. I didn’t want my thoughts muddied by that stupid potion as I’d have enough in my system soon enough. I was paying the price, my pace feeling slower than usual.I replied, “As ready as I’ll ever be.”“Any idea who you’re paired with yet?” he asked, breathing hard. We rounded a corner and started an uphill mile. It was still dark, the faint orange of the morning just teasing the horizon. “Nope. Janas just said it’ll be a new recruit. Somebody I don’t know well enough. Probably someone I haven’t sparred with.”“Who’s left?” He knew I had beaten nearly three quarters of the Alpha Guard by now.I wiped sweat off my face. “Not many. But Janas said it would be someone who wouldn’t know my scent either. That’s important.”Perrin nodded, grunting as we made the final ascent. “So that leaves…” his
KiraThe sound of his paws on the dewey earth were soft but rhythmic. He paced behind me, allowing me to lead.Well, at least he got that much right.We spent much of the first hour in silence, I set a brutal pace that had his wolf form panting. I only stopped once to allow him to catch his breath. If I kept this pace up, there was no way he’d be able to tail me in another few hours. The fiery orange of the sky I had welcomed this morning plunged to purple, then faded to navy of a starless sky. It was going to be a foggy night; a rarity for early summer. Luck was clearly in my favor. The less visibility, the better.Do you usually run this fast? The mind link stopped any hint of his heavy breathing to permeate his speech, but I knew he was pushing himself. I slowed just a fraction. Why, can’t keep up?Just curious. You seem to be running pretty fast. I felt the wolfish grin of pride spread across my lips. I was going fast. So?Just wondering what you’re running from.My paw nearly
KiraI ran. Hard. Not to punish him, but to silence the battle going on within my mind. There were no sounds except my own harsh breathing, which was beginning to match the ragged breathing coming behind me. There were no words except the periodic crackling of the radio in the quiet of the night.As agreed upon weeks ago, Mark had started issuing hourly notices as the time crept by. Janas had instituted it shortly after Ethan’s attack, making sure that each radio carried by a patrol pair had its volume turned up to hear any announcement. Ben had carried the radio tonight, strapped to his hind leg. Despite being my partner, that was one part of the plan that had gone off without a hitch. There was a reverse call button that could be pressed by a wolf’s paw, alerting headquarters of our location in case of danger without speech. It was meant for immediate purposes; could be pushed by either the wearer or his partner. Any need to really communicate required phasing and talking directly
Deidre“How about this?”Mistra shakes her head, the pink dress I’m holding not doing it for her. Of course it wouldn’t. Mistra only wears dark and… darker. Except for the day she came back from vacation. From ‘visiting her son.’ Here. In Texas.“How about this?” This dress is darker, with a slit up to the thigh that should make any she-wolf her age think twice.“Too revealing,” she dismisses it. The hangers clank loudly on the rack as she disapproves of yet another rack of options.“Mistra?” The clacking plastic stills in response. “You wore pink when you came back from Texas. You think I didn’t notice?”A considering pause follows, then, “I was in a different mood, then.”“Oh?”“Yes. It was… the fresh air.”“So logic would dictate the color would suit you now as well, wouldn’t it?”Another pause. “I suppose.”I thrust my arms around the corner of the clothing rack, holding the original pink once again. She grabs it reluctantly and holds it up to her chin in front of a full-length mi
Perrin The sound of my camera phone clicks and I don’t bother checking it before sending it to Lo. Then I switch shirts, and send another. PERRIN: Blue or green? LO: Either. They each bring out one of your eyes. LO: Goddess you look good. Before I can type a response, a video call from Lo pops up on the screen. I can tell based on the angle of the camera that she’s propped me up against a glass on Dina’s counter in the kitchen. “Hey there, beautiful.” Beautiful doesn’t do her justice, even mid-meal. Her eyes are bright and full of laughter, as if she’d just been joking with Dina. She munches on a carrot stick, grinning. “You know it’s not fair for you to just send me pictures like that.” She lowers her voice. “When you know I really want the other kind of picture.” I laugh, angling the camera so she can see my bare chest. “Gross,” I hear a mutter somewhere off-camera. “I’m not going to be attacked while I’m having lunch, Jack. You can be excused for ten.” “Thank Goddess.” Ja
Deidre “Fontaine?” I flick through my mental list of scholars. Nothing registers. “Well, if he’s not a medical scientist or researcher, I probably wouldn’t have heard of him.” Mark grunts, throwing his phone down next to his lunch plate. “I’ve got nothing. The internet is supposed to be helpful. All I have are a bunch of university papers and a bunch of research I can’t make heads or tales of.” “Ah yes. My husband’s Beta, ever the academic,” I smile over the brim of my cup. “Quit it,” Jason growls, absorbed in his own phone screen. “Janas is keeping tabs on him, but other than going back to the infirmary, he hasn’t done much apart from call a taxi to take him to a restaurant.” Mark blinks. “A restaurant?” “Yes,” I quip. “The social environment in which people elect to eat and enjoy one another’s company–not that you’ve been to one in the last ten years.” “Seriously?” Jason snaps, head swiveling between Mark and I. “This is the last thing we need.” “A restaurant is not a securit
Kira The tour was incredibly boring. Ben was professional and polite, wandering at a pace that Lo could keep up with, without getting breathless and being able to contribute to the conversation. It annoyed me how courteous he was. Jack spent most of the tour looking around inconspicuously for all of the cameras, finding their hidden reflective lenses in the niches of wood and leather around the Archives. From what I could tell, he’d found twenty-six of thirty. A flashing, toothy smile catches on another camera. Fine. Twenty-seven. They were just making the far side of the stacks, near the stairway that led down to the pack Archives, when Sirius became incredibly more interested. “And what are these?” He asked pointedly, looking at the stairs and the ropes that separated them off from prying visitors. “Ah. The Royal Archives of the Aperture Pack,” Ben said admiringly. “Home of our pack lineage, royal birth and marriage documents, copies of temple ceremony proceedings, and histori
Kira I watched through the screen as Lo’s baby bump proceeded the rest of her into the frame, extending her hand to greet Ben’s. It was more formal than I’d ever seen either of them interact; but I recognized the show. It was all about appearances. Impressing this scholar. A moment later Sirius eased into the frame, his height nearly blocking out all of Lo except her belly, his own graceful hand extending to capture Ben’s as they exchanged greetings. “Good morning, Professor–?” Ben opened warmly. Smooth. And good. Since I still had no idea what this guy’s last name has to do a thorough background check. I looked at my legal pad, tapping my pen on the blank page. Mark was clear with his instructions, and so far I wasn’t doing very well. “Oh! Just Sirius, please. No need for formalities.” Lo stepped out from behind Sirius, her face beaming with that pregnant glow of hers, despite the gray-scale of the monitor. “Sirius, this is Benjamin, the scholar and historian I was telling you
Kira Janas walked me through my controls. Eight screens, two keyboards, something that looked like an old-school joystick, and enough cords and plugs to cover the majority of the Luna’s office. I wondered what she’d think of it now; it’s usually pristine surfaces now covered in a jungle of electrical equipment. “Got that?” Janas said for nearly the seventh time. “Yes,” I muttered, sitting down in the seat behind the Luna’s desk. It was the last place I ever thought I’d sit, and shifted uneasily as I put down my crutches. The ruse was still necessary in case anyone came in here with Cynthia while I was working. I had felt the glances as Janas wheeled me in this afternoon, crutches across my lap as we passed the busy lobby of the pack house. Many offered greetings and wishes for a speedy recovery, all genuine. It made my back stiffen at the deception. I made a mental note to talk to Perrin about just how different his legacy was going to be from his father’s… and despite my own sel
BenMy alarm goes off, and I don’t even want to reach for my phone.It’d be great to stop the two-day hangover that plagues me. But something else entirely when I’ll look at my screen and realize Kira hasn’t called me back. Or texted.Not like she would.I roll over, swatting blindly at my bedside table until my phone drops onto the floor, vibrating and jittering across the cheap carpet like some strange bug.I test my eyes, flickering them open against my ceiling.Well. At least my hangover is gone today. I exhale. I’d rather have the pain of that hangover instead of the anger I feel at myself. Not just anger.Shame. Annoyance.And the worst part? The self-pity.I’ve drowned in the feelings of the last few days, addicted to the self-sabotage of not eating, not consuming anything and not trusting myself. I’ve been sober for years. And doing this now? Giving into temptation? I want to blame my thesis. My stupid failed research. I want to just burn all of it to Hell and back. But gnawi
Perrin“Holy shit.”Mark softly whistles behind me, unnerved at the site of it as we drive in. The Chiyad training facilities is enormous. No. gigantic. Whichever one is bigger.“This is where Ethan’s been training,” I say unnecessarily, awed at the outside of it. I wondered if Ethan could escape being the favorite for the Beta championship by just having access to state-of-the-art facilities. Mark doesn’t answer, but drives to a series of parking spots on the side of the building. “I know Ethan’s been working hard,” I go on as we get out of the car. “And Justin had only mentioned they were working on getting their facility renovation underway. Is this the before or after? They couldn’t have done all of this in just a few months.”Mark’s neck cranes to look up the side of the building. “I don’t know.”We walk into the large side entrance, automatic doors whooshing in around us with crisp, air-conditioned coolness. I blink twice as a discreet whirring sounds, a scanning of our bodies
KiraI set the phone down on the bedside table, pulling my blankets over me at the chill that had nothing to do with the temperature of my room.What the hell?But I couldn’t help but smirk. My gut instinct about the visiting wolf hadn’t been totally off. Something hadn’t been right about Sirius. Not wrong, per se… but definitely not normal. Were all European wolves that way? And how Mark had discovered our pack had a visitor less than twelve hours after they’d left? I didn’t know. Some type of Beta secret perhaps. He’d tell me in time. I was beginning to realize just how much I had to learn.I frowned, knowing Royhill would likely come pick me up in the morning. I stared at the clock. It was way past my bedtime. Not that I cared. I scratched at the stupid fake brace on my leg.On the positive side, apparently hiding away in the Luna’s office was going to be exactly what I was up to, the joke made earlier to Jesamine in jest or not. And sooner than I had anticipated; Naineeve was her