Chapter 7

Perrin

Shaking my head and clearing it, I waited a few minutes, then traced Kira’s footsteps towards the lobby. Lorrie pointed me down yet another hallway towards my last visit. A familiar silhouette stood outside of the room, peering through the observation glass.

“What are you doing here?” I asked in surprise.

Seth grunted in response, his arms folded protectively across his chest. He was usually good natured, but this afternoon he looked… almost troubled.

“Gowan,” he said, as if that was all the response he needed.

“Really? I came to see him myself.”

Another grunt. Then, “Mark told me. Your dad and Mark, I mean. About the…” he raised his hands to his eyes and gestured in a bizarre, jerky motion. “About the gold, I mean.”

“Had Gowan’s eyes changed?” I asked innocently, unsure how much Mark or my father had actually disclosed.”

He grunted, this time the noise sounded as a distinct affirmation, and just like with Naineeve, I wondered how much information Seth had actually been given. I’m sure that Seth would have noticed at the Sacred Call if Gowan’s eyes had really changed. But what excuse did they give? Had it been the truth?

I peered through the window, mulling over how to best get an answer. Gowan seemed to be sleeping, his large form splayed out on a bed built with an extension. His knee was in a brace and one shoulder was in a sling. I knew he was nearly seven feet tall; by far the tallest wolf I’ve ever met– but seeing him defenseless like this was still jarring. 

Something clicked, as if this wasn’t right. Kira had explained what she had done to him. It sounded gruesome; borderline cruel. But considering the circumstances of his recent transition, I didn't doubt she did what she had to do. Ethan had one explained it to me like a sudden eruption of fire in the veins, and that his temper was a result. Had Gowan experienced something similar? He hadn’t healed yet. That didn’t make any sense. It had been almost a week. 

“He should have healed by now,” Seth said, as if to himself. “He should have gone back to Texas. Why is he here?” I wasn’t sure he was asking for an actual answer. And I certainly didn’t know what to tell him. I held my breath. How much did he know?

I heard the click of women’s shoes on the linoleum down the hall. Deidre rounded the corner, huddled over her phone and muttering under her breath. She stopped only a few feet from us, as if just noticing we were there.

“Ah, Seth! Hello, hello.” She seemed distinctly displeased that he was here. “I see you’re early.”

“I don’t understand why you asked me here, Luna.” Seth said, still slightly out of it. “I don’t train members of other packs. And we have healers trained in physical therapy for his type of rehabilitation needs.”

“I’m happy to answer your questions, Seth, though perhaps not here?” Deidre held out an arm to him, gesturing for Seth to follow her. “Perrin, why don’t you join us?”

I swallowed. This hadn’t been what I had expected, and I scolded myself for not just asking Deidre earlier how Gowan was. But I simply nodded and followed my step-mother and Seth down the hallways to her office. I checked my watch on the way. I didn’t want to be late for my conversation with Lo. 

I stepped inside, and she gestured us towards the chairs that sat opposite her desk. I winced slightly, noting that she was directing me to sit in the chair where just a few days before, Lo and I had… I exhaled, drumming my hands lightly on her desk before taking a seat. Deidre, whether or not she noticed my discomfort or embarrassment, didn’t let on. Instead, she turned to Seth and folded her hands atop a folder of paperwork.

“I understand my husband and Mark spoke to you about Gowan’s unique condition.”

Seth nodded stiffly, though his eyes were darting everywhere. I couldn’t tell if he or myself were more uncomfortable. I felt the warm leather beneath me, how it had felt with Lo on top of me–

“And I expect that you have several questions,” Deidre was saying. “So I’m here to answer those to the best of my abilities.”

Seth’s face darkened noticeably, and his hands clenched the sides of the chair. “I don’t understand why I’m being asked to work with a member of a foreign pack, let alone some type of… of freak mutant, Luna.” His voice was hard. Restrained.

“Gowan is not a freak mutant,” Deidre countered congenially. “But a victim, just like Ethan.”

Victim. So that was the narrative. I shot Deidre a look and got the distinct feeling she could feel my gaze but chose to ignore it. Her eyes remained lightly on Seth’s confused face.

“With all due respect, Luna,” Seth began harshly, but Deidre’s eyes narrowed dangerously, just for a moment, though long enough for Seth to correct his tone. “With all due respect, Luna, Gowan was not attacked. Ethan was a victim, and what happened to him was an injustice. He didn’t end up fighting in the Sacred Call. He will serve the Chiyads to the best of his ability because he still maintains his honor.”

If Seth knew that Gowan wasn’t attacked, what had Mark and my father actually told him?

“And Gowan no longer contains honor?” Deidre countered, her voice light and conversational. “Because he represented his pack?”

“He’s got Goddess-damned yellow eyes!” Seth spat, as if completely disgusted. “It’s one thing if Ethan was attacked by some vicious monster, and Goddess knows we’re gonna find it and track it and kill it. But Gowan? That kid’s a freak. It isn’t natural. Whatever happened to him was intentional and wrong.” 

There it was. The truth after all. I smiled to myself, proud for some reason that this was one more truth I didn’t have to hide. 

“How do you know it was intentional?” Deidre asked calmly. She re-folded her hands across her desk.

“Gowan wasn’t attacked, Luna. I know him. I watched him at the Lodge for the better part of the last three months and he was a skilled fighter beyond anything I’ve seen next to Ethan’s mate. Hate to say it, but I would have put money on the fact that Gowan would have beat Kira, Goddess knows how she pulled that off. Don’t get me wrong, I’m proud of her–but damn. He’s just so good. And the way that he swept through pool play? It was like a cake walk. Anyway. Ethan was incapacitated when he was attacked, and I raised that kid like my own in that Lodge. It would have taken something serious like that to mess Ethan up. And well, I guess it did. But with Gowan? Gowan wouldn’t have been able to fight like he did if he had gone through the same thing. That Nael character was tampering. Full-on, against-the-Goddess-level tampering.”

I couldn’t tell if Seth admired or hated Gowan. He seemed to swing back and forth, unable to decide himself. He kept going, uninterrupted.

“Gowan walked into that arena without injury, well, major injury. Looked like he caught his wrist on something with the stitches and all, but he was messed up. Like the kind of messed-up where you know someone isn’t themselves, you know? Like he could fight all right, but he wasn’t really there. I know the Chiyads are cheaters. They’re bad people all around, everybody knows that. But what kind of tripped out, drugged up, fucked up–excuse me Luna, for the language–bullshit are they playing at? If what happened to Ethan really happened to Gowan, then I don’t believe it. Ethan was attacked. Saw his injuries myself. Gowan wasn’t anywhere close to that. A few small stitches on his arm that had already healed and he walked in there with glowing eyes like some kind of freak? Doesn’t make any sense.”

“Thank you for that, for that thorough analysis, Seth,” Deidre said smoothly. “ It’s important before you undertake this assignment for everyone to be on the same page. I can assure you that what happened to Gowan was against his will. In that you are correct, and in that way he is the same as Ethan.”  

Seth seemed visibly agitated, and became even more so when Deidre didn’t correct him again, as if egged on by her lack of response.

“Ethan was one of our own, Luna. What happened to him was a terrible accident. And like I said, we’ll get his revenge because Goddess knows he can’t now and she had bigger plans for him anyway.”

I actually admired Deidre’s poise at this moment. She sat across from Seth, completely unruffled. He seemed like he needed to get this all out, whatever it was. I took the cue from Deidre and stayed quiet. It was clear that Seth knew that some type of transformation took place. Though he believed it was all due to the mysterious attacker; not some updated medical tactic.

“If the Chiyads put their own Beta Dauphin in danger of being attacked by Goddess knows what–and mind you, we will get to the bottom of it, Luna, then the Chiyads are even more fucked up–err, sorry–sick and twisted than we all thought to begin with. Ethan barely survived, and they put Gowan in danger just to what, to try and sweeten the odds of them winning? If that’s the case then it’s just one more reason that we don’t want to strengthen any ties, beyond Ethan, of course–to that pack. We need Gowan out. Gone. We just need to strap him up in a van and send him back to Texas. We don’t need whatever disease he’s infected with to spread.”

I looked at Deidre. What game was she playing at? Drawing him out and letting him talk like this? What happened to Gowan wasn’t a disease.

I turned to Seth, who had gone from red to purple with rage and was now breathing heavily, letting his emotions go unchecked. And then it dawned on me. Deidre had been baiting him. 

Seth was a good man, and a spectacular trainer. I had worked with him for my entire life, training and fighting and learning the ways of the Alpha Guard. But it became apparent that such a cornerstone of our pack defenses held significant prejudice against Gowan. But why? Was it because he was a Chiyad? No, that wasn’t it. That wasn’t enough. Challengers were challengers. This smelled distinctly of hatred.

I studied him as he calmed himself. No, it wasn’t because Gowan was a Chiyad. It was because he walked into that arena with an unfair tool in his arsenal; a wild, unchecked, nearly feral sense of violence that could have caused real damage. And to what end? Gowan was talented enough. He didn’t need that type of advantage. And it had happened, whether Seth had known it or not, intentionally. It had weaponized him. And Seth, a straight-edge, hard-working trainer, had seen the truth amidst it all. Gowan was already dangerous, and in that state; nearly impossible to beat; Gowan had become a cheated version of who should have been there. A dishonorable participant.

For all that Seth had done throughout his years to prepare us, he himself was nearly cheated of the opportunity to claim that he had worked with an honorable victor. Nearly, yes. Kira had defeated Gowan. But Seth’s prejudice there ran deep. He wanted no alterations; no funny business. I wondered vaguely if Seth would have truly supported Ethan had he actually challenged for Beta rather than having Kira in his place. Because as far as Seth was concerned, Kira was completely normal. Her pink eyes showed no signs of change.

I swallowed.  This is what Deidre had wanted me to see. 

This was a litmus test. A gauge to see if we could expose Kira safely for what she really was. Not a victim of an unknown attack, like Ethan. But a recipient of a cutting-edge medical procedure that saved her life, and just happened to have decisively advantageous side effects. 

But how had Deidre known? Had she sensed that I didn’t want Kira to have to hide?

For a moment, Deidre’s eyes met mine, all-to-knowingly. And I hated that neutral ground we had found. I didn’t need her manipulating Seth on my behalf. But as much as I hated to admit it, I had needed to see it.

“Seth, I can also assure you, as well as any Ascended here, that what happened to Gowan is not contagious. It can’t spread, as you put it. And while I understand your concerns, I want to be very clear. It is with the medical recommendation of the Ascended and the discretionary approval of the Alpha that Gowan will remain here, in my care, and in yours. We are to rehabilitate him to the best of our abilities.”

Seth’s jaw almost hit the desk before he caught himself. 

“And I expect full, honorable participation in his physical and mental recovery. Is that clear?”

Seth’s throat bobbed up and down, repressing his instinctive answer.

“Yes, Luna.”