PerrinMy father sits down and immediately rubs his temples. “So help me Goddess Perrin if you impregnated a third she-wolf I’m going to cut off your–”“No!” But the denial is shouted by more than just me. Lo and Kira stand on either side of me, looking equally repulsed.“Kira.” I say simply, trying to recover. “It’s about Kira. And her secret.”“What?” My beta’s head snaps as she turns to look at me, clearly surprised. I can feel the suppressed confusion in the room. “Kira is going to be my Beta, and I think it’s time we allowed her to be who she truly is.”Deidre instantly interjects. “I’m working on her–”I raise a hand, and to my complete surprise, she stops talking. “I’m not talking about interfering with her training–or her wardrobe, for that matter.” It’s only right to speak plainly, and wish no shame. “I’m talking about who she is. She has no reason to hide the real her.”I refuse to look at Kira. I don’t want her to think of this as some personal favor. It’s the right thing
PerrinAs soon as Janas is out of earshot, Kira turns to me, her face a mix of excitement and fear. “Are you serious?”“I’m not sure if you’re asking for an apology or–”“An apology?” She cuts me off. “Are you kidding? I’m thrilled! I won’t have to wear these stupid pieces of shit anymore–I mean, stupid things–I mean–” she’s circling now and it’s nearly making me dizzy. Lo laughs quietly in amusement, joy and approval in her eyes.“Yes,” I manage. “I didn’t tell you earlier–things just got a little crazy the last few days.”“Oh my Goddess I get it. Don’t worry. Listen–let’s talk later. I’m running late to the Lodge–even a meeting with the Alpha won’t be a good enough excuse for Seth. But–” she grabs my hand with both of hers, then realizing she’s shaking it like some stranger, launches herself on top of me in a giant hug. “Thank you.”And without another look behind her, she’s gone.Lo lets out a quiet giggle, watching Kira’s form retreat down the length of the hallway, her arms folde
PerrinThe carpet was soft beneath my back as I pulled Lo to me, welcoming her light weight on my chest. She kisses me softly, her lips warm and the heat of her body rivaling the small fire crackling behind us. “Are you sure you’d rather not wait to see the bedroom?” I ask.Lo pause, as if she hadn’t considered that. “You mean there’s more?”“We’re obviously not going to sleep in the kitchen…”She nips at my lip playfully. “I’m serious! You did everything?” I had the sudden, uneasy feeling that she was put out, despite her smile. “Not everything. I didn’t touch any of the spare bedrooms, which now I guess includes a nursery.”She smiles, then kisses me again, her pleasure evident as her lips pressed harder, pulling away with a delightful smacking sound. “Well. Before I get too carried away–”“Isn’t that the point? This is ours, after all–”She swats at my chest and sits up, straddling my hips. I wiggled mine suggestively and she swats again, grinning. “I’m serious. Can you let me fi
Perrin“We need at least another two weeks.”“Two?” Mark didn’t sound happy. But he wasn’t thrilled at the idea of the ruse either. But this wasn’t good regardless. “Kira’s learning everything just fine, but we need time to plant some things out in the territory in case she needs backup.”The room fell silent as my father nodded. “Deidre’s right. Our sense of urgency can’t outweigh our need to do this properly. Nobody can know.”Deidre hesitated, looking at Kira. “How about three? Just to make sure?” Kira nodded.“Wait–” I said. “When is the last time Kira has run patrol?”The room stills, then Mark offers, “Too long.” He slams his hands against the wall in frustration, then turns to look at all of us. “This isn’t going to work. Kira needs more time with the pack to build rapport.”Kira looks offended. “What do you think I’ve been doing for the last month and a half?”Mark’s eyes soften for a fraction of a second before hardening. “It’s good, but you haven’t run patrol with them. You
Jesamine“This show sucks.”“I know, but my feet are tired. Let’s watch another episode.” That much was the truth. Gowan had me walking three times a day after Perrin left each morning. Not only did our recent discussions about leave me even more exhausted than usual, but the child in my stomach was actually growing now. Delayed of course, according to Jennivah, but he was growing. Slowly and steadily draining every inch of energy I had within me.“Fine. But if that weird vampire with the guy-liner comes back on, I’m out,” Jack whined.“You’re just mad because he’s so good looking.”“The casting is stupid. They don’t even look like brothers.”Jack and I have been holed up here most afternoons. I finally got a TV, thanks to much prodding from Gowan. While he trains and does whatever physical exercise in the afternoon, Jack and I relax. Over the course of the last week, we’ve settled into a surprising routine. When Gowan’s not here, Jack’s here. When Jack’s doing his own physical therap
DeidreDEIDRE: Remind me to ask you about a step-open trunk.MARK: Excuse me?DEIDRE: It’s for you-know-what. Kira can’t open… things when her paws are… not hands.MARK: How big?DEIDRE: Enough to fit a grocery-bag sized amount of stuff.MARK: Your level of specificity astounds me.DEIDRE: Can you do it or not?MARK: Probably.DEIDRE: Your level of specificity astounds me.I watched as the bubbles appeared and disappeared as he wrote, then thought better, of his text. Good.MARK: Yes, can do it. And stash it, I’m guessing?DEIDRE: Yes. It will contain what she needs.MARK: I’ll talk to Janas tomorrow. Good night.As if I would have a good night. I threw my phone down, not even flinching as it crashes to my wooden desk. It lay back in the desk chair and my hands through my loose hair. I have spent the last twelve hours plotting, only to realize in the last hour that Kira wouldn’t be able to open up the glass vial of sedative in her wolf form. Stupid, stupid, stupid! But at least we had
Deidre No. No no no. I had no time to consider the implications of the Chiyad Beta Challenge. No. I had to focus. Think think think! I withdrew from my husband’s office under the guise of unfinished work and returned to my own. I close the office door behind me, barely able to breathe. What had I just agreed to? Was this completely insane? Taking over for Mistra? No. This was stupid. No! It was the only reasonable option. I had to honor her. What was I thinking? This was insane. Memories swirled to the surface, dense and unstoppable like ink added to water. I fought to stave off the haunting vision of Sienna’s face, but it was no use. Like weeks before, the memories flooded into my mind, this time crisper; more intense, long-forgotten details materializing before me with stunning clarity. Years before A knock sounded at the door. “May I come in?” Said a soft, melodic voice. “Luna?” I rose reflexively. “You shouldn’t be out of bed–” She waved a dismissive, gentle hand
Mark No. No no no. I take a deep breath, unable to go back to patrol now. I was only manning the desk, but… Fuck. Nobody apart from Mistra had… well, since Kyle had…. Fuck. I made my way back to my office, slamming the door. Everything, everything had come crashing down that day, in this office, Kyle’s office. I tried to shake the cascade of memories, but I couldn’t. My fingers are shaking, nearly twitching. Itching for something that’s not there. I put my head in my hands, willing it all to stop. Wanting the visions and the memories to recede. But they won’t. They come crashing in full force, just like they had a few weeks ago. Twelve Years Ago “Has he called in yet?” Janas asked. “Yes,” I lied, scribbling nonsense on my clipboard. I shifted uneasily. Kyle hadn’t checked in from his last two checkpoints, and I had faked radio static so that Janas wouldn’t know. I knew that Kyle wasn’t really running patrol tonight, but rather was on a separate mission tonight for the Al
Deidre“How about this?”Mistra shakes her head, the pink dress I’m holding not doing it for her. Of course it wouldn’t. Mistra only wears dark and… darker. Except for the day she came back from vacation. From ‘visiting her son.’ Here. In Texas.“How about this?” This dress is darker, with a slit up to the thigh that should make any she-wolf her age think twice.“Too revealing,” she dismisses it. The hangers clank loudly on the rack as she disapproves of yet another rack of options.“Mistra?” The clacking plastic stills in response. “You wore pink when you came back from Texas. You think I didn’t notice?”A considering pause follows, then, “I was in a different mood, then.”“Oh?”“Yes. It was… the fresh air.”“So logic would dictate the color would suit you now as well, wouldn’t it?”Another pause. “I suppose.”I thrust my arms around the corner of the clothing rack, holding the original pink once again. She grabs it reluctantly and holds it up to her chin in front of a full-length mi
Perrin The sound of my camera phone clicks and I don’t bother checking it before sending it to Lo. Then I switch shirts, and send another. PERRIN: Blue or green? LO: Either. They each bring out one of your eyes. LO: Goddess you look good. Before I can type a response, a video call from Lo pops up on the screen. I can tell based on the angle of the camera that she’s propped me up against a glass on Dina’s counter in the kitchen. “Hey there, beautiful.” Beautiful doesn’t do her justice, even mid-meal. Her eyes are bright and full of laughter, as if she’d just been joking with Dina. She munches on a carrot stick, grinning. “You know it’s not fair for you to just send me pictures like that.” She lowers her voice. “When you know I really want the other kind of picture.” I laugh, angling the camera so she can see my bare chest. “Gross,” I hear a mutter somewhere off-camera. “I’m not going to be attacked while I’m having lunch, Jack. You can be excused for ten.” “Thank Goddess.” Ja
Deidre “Fontaine?” I flick through my mental list of scholars. Nothing registers. “Well, if he’s not a medical scientist or researcher, I probably wouldn’t have heard of him.” Mark grunts, throwing his phone down next to his lunch plate. “I’ve got nothing. The internet is supposed to be helpful. All I have are a bunch of university papers and a bunch of research I can’t make heads or tales of.” “Ah yes. My husband’s Beta, ever the academic,” I smile over the brim of my cup. “Quit it,” Jason growls, absorbed in his own phone screen. “Janas is keeping tabs on him, but other than going back to the infirmary, he hasn’t done much apart from call a taxi to take him to a restaurant.” Mark blinks. “A restaurant?” “Yes,” I quip. “The social environment in which people elect to eat and enjoy one another’s company–not that you’ve been to one in the last ten years.” “Seriously?” Jason snaps, head swiveling between Mark and I. “This is the last thing we need.” “A restaurant is not a securit
Kira The tour was incredibly boring. Ben was professional and polite, wandering at a pace that Lo could keep up with, without getting breathless and being able to contribute to the conversation. It annoyed me how courteous he was. Jack spent most of the tour looking around inconspicuously for all of the cameras, finding their hidden reflective lenses in the niches of wood and leather around the Archives. From what I could tell, he’d found twenty-six of thirty. A flashing, toothy smile catches on another camera. Fine. Twenty-seven. They were just making the far side of the stacks, near the stairway that led down to the pack Archives, when Sirius became incredibly more interested. “And what are these?” He asked pointedly, looking at the stairs and the ropes that separated them off from prying visitors. “Ah. The Royal Archives of the Aperture Pack,” Ben said admiringly. “Home of our pack lineage, royal birth and marriage documents, copies of temple ceremony proceedings, and histori
Kira I watched through the screen as Lo’s baby bump proceeded the rest of her into the frame, extending her hand to greet Ben’s. It was more formal than I’d ever seen either of them interact; but I recognized the show. It was all about appearances. Impressing this scholar. A moment later Sirius eased into the frame, his height nearly blocking out all of Lo except her belly, his own graceful hand extending to capture Ben’s as they exchanged greetings. “Good morning, Professor–?” Ben opened warmly. Smooth. And good. Since I still had no idea what this guy’s last name has to do a thorough background check. I looked at my legal pad, tapping my pen on the blank page. Mark was clear with his instructions, and so far I wasn’t doing very well. “Oh! Just Sirius, please. No need for formalities.” Lo stepped out from behind Sirius, her face beaming with that pregnant glow of hers, despite the gray-scale of the monitor. “Sirius, this is Benjamin, the scholar and historian I was telling you
Kira Janas walked me through my controls. Eight screens, two keyboards, something that looked like an old-school joystick, and enough cords and plugs to cover the majority of the Luna’s office. I wondered what she’d think of it now; it’s usually pristine surfaces now covered in a jungle of electrical equipment. “Got that?” Janas said for nearly the seventh time. “Yes,” I muttered, sitting down in the seat behind the Luna’s desk. It was the last place I ever thought I’d sit, and shifted uneasily as I put down my crutches. The ruse was still necessary in case anyone came in here with Cynthia while I was working. I had felt the glances as Janas wheeled me in this afternoon, crutches across my lap as we passed the busy lobby of the pack house. Many offered greetings and wishes for a speedy recovery, all genuine. It made my back stiffen at the deception. I made a mental note to talk to Perrin about just how different his legacy was going to be from his father’s… and despite my own sel
BenMy alarm goes off, and I don’t even want to reach for my phone.It’d be great to stop the two-day hangover that plagues me. But something else entirely when I’ll look at my screen and realize Kira hasn’t called me back. Or texted.Not like she would.I roll over, swatting blindly at my bedside table until my phone drops onto the floor, vibrating and jittering across the cheap carpet like some strange bug.I test my eyes, flickering them open against my ceiling.Well. At least my hangover is gone today. I exhale. I’d rather have the pain of that hangover instead of the anger I feel at myself. Not just anger.Shame. Annoyance.And the worst part? The self-pity.I’ve drowned in the feelings of the last few days, addicted to the self-sabotage of not eating, not consuming anything and not trusting myself. I’ve been sober for years. And doing this now? Giving into temptation? I want to blame my thesis. My stupid failed research. I want to just burn all of it to Hell and back. But gnawi
Perrin“Holy shit.”Mark softly whistles behind me, unnerved at the site of it as we drive in. The Chiyad training facilities is enormous. No. gigantic. Whichever one is bigger.“This is where Ethan’s been training,” I say unnecessarily, awed at the outside of it. I wondered if Ethan could escape being the favorite for the Beta championship by just having access to state-of-the-art facilities. Mark doesn’t answer, but drives to a series of parking spots on the side of the building. “I know Ethan’s been working hard,” I go on as we get out of the car. “And Justin had only mentioned they were working on getting their facility renovation underway. Is this the before or after? They couldn’t have done all of this in just a few months.”Mark’s neck cranes to look up the side of the building. “I don’t know.”We walk into the large side entrance, automatic doors whooshing in around us with crisp, air-conditioned coolness. I blink twice as a discreet whirring sounds, a scanning of our bodies
KiraI set the phone down on the bedside table, pulling my blankets over me at the chill that had nothing to do with the temperature of my room.What the hell?But I couldn’t help but smirk. My gut instinct about the visiting wolf hadn’t been totally off. Something hadn’t been right about Sirius. Not wrong, per se… but definitely not normal. Were all European wolves that way? And how Mark had discovered our pack had a visitor less than twelve hours after they’d left? I didn’t know. Some type of Beta secret perhaps. He’d tell me in time. I was beginning to realize just how much I had to learn.I frowned, knowing Royhill would likely come pick me up in the morning. I stared at the clock. It was way past my bedtime. Not that I cared. I scratched at the stupid fake brace on my leg.On the positive side, apparently hiding away in the Luna’s office was going to be exactly what I was up to, the joke made earlier to Jesamine in jest or not. And sooner than I had anticipated; Naineeve was her