Chapter 5 - First Kiss

Ryder reached across the table and took Zoe's hand.  They had a lot to discuss, but he didn't know where to begin.  It was technically his first date with a woman if you can count it as a date.  Which he was.

 

"I saw on your card that you're the Chief of Cardiac Surgery.  No offense, but you don't look old enough to even be out of college."  Zoe smiled widely at him.  

 

"I graduated high school at fifteen and went straight to college, followed by medical school.  I graduated from Stanford at twenty and was offered a job in LA.  I've been chief for six months."  She chuckled when he stared at her with his mouth open.   Zoe was used to that expression when people met her for the first time.  

 

"Wow.  I'm twenty-eight, and I feel extremely inadequate compared to you.  Did you grow up around here?"  Zoe tilted her head to the side like she did when she was studying people.  Ryder was looking down at their conjoined hands, so she squeezed his hand a little.  She wanted to look into his eyes; that was the easiest way for her to read people.  

 

"No.  I grew up in the Midwest until I was fifteen, then I moved out here."  Zoe stopped talking when the waitress came over to take their order.  The woman was young and trying to flirt with Ryder, but he didn't take his eyes off, Zoe.  The way he kept his focus on her made her feel warm all over.  Most men she'd been with would still flirt with other women or check them out as they walked by but not Ryder.  It was as though they were in a world of their own.  

 

"Do your parents live here?"  He asked, his eyes meeting hers.

 

"No, I haven't seen them since I left Illinois.  My parents weren't good people.  They were drug addicts, and the only time they thought about me was to hit me or tell me how worthless I was.  My teachers at school are the reason I accomplished what I did."  Zoe looked down, and Ryder felt his heart ache for her.  They both had horrible parents. 

 

"I'm sorry you had to endure that.  Are you close to anyone here?"  He asked.  Ryder knew it was selfish, but he wanted her all to himself. 

 

"I was always considered a freak in school because I was so much younger than everyone else.  When I started working at the hospital, that continued.  People treat me like I was handed my degrees and didn't earn them.  It got worse when I was made chief.  Both women and men in my department don't like answering to me.  I find it easier to work constantly and not try to make friends with anyone.  I've been on a couple of dates with men who have no idea what I do, but I refused to let them even kiss me.  I've been waiting for the right man to come along."  Zoe shrugged before looking up into his warm eyes.  Why did she have a pull toward him so intense she wanted to jump onto his lap and tell him to take her away?  

 

"You have so much light inside you that I can't believe others didn't flock to you.  I've only known you for a few hours, and I've never felt as good as I do when I'm with you,"  Ryder spoke softly.  His cheeks became slightly red when he realized he had spoken out loud.

 

"Women are intimidated by me, and honestly, most of the ones I work with are much older than me, so we have nothing in common.  Men only want to try and get in my pants.  After what happened in college, I haven't let anyone get that close again."  Zoe's eyes widened when she realized she had said more than she intended.  The only explanation was that Ryder made her comfortable, which she wasn't used to. 

 

"What do you mean?  What happened in college?" By the look on her face, he knew he wouldn't like the answer.  The waitress brought their food, but neither moved to take a bite.  Zoe looked up at him, and he saw tears in her eyes.  She quickly explained what the guy in college had done before graduation.  Ryder felt rage like never before run through his body.    He went to the other side of the booth and slid into the seat next to Zoe.  Putting his arms around her, he hugged her while she wiped away her tears. 

 

"I'm sorry I asked, but I'm glad you told me.  I promise that as long as you're in my life, no one will ever hurt you like that again."  Zoe pulled back and looked up into his face.  Ryder had so much kindness in him that she wanted to soak it up.  Was it too soon to want to be in his life forever?

 

"That's my whole life pretty much, so tell me about you.  Are you from around here?"  They both started eating, but Ryder left one arm around her shoulders.

 

"My childhood was close to how you described yours.  I had horrible parents who would torture me to see how much I could take before I'd break.  When I was six, someone found out what they were doing and helped me get away.  I was adopted by an elderly couple who raised me as their son.  Even though most of my life was with my adoptive parents, I remember everything my birth parents did to me.  I don't let anyone see how much it still gets to me.  What they did is the main reason I'm uncomfortable around people.  The feelings of worthlessness still haunt me."  Ryder glanced over at Zoe.  Her heart broke for how he described his early years.  It explained why he was so guarded and unsure of himself.  

 

"So we both had shit parents, don't socialize much, and still have nightmares from the past.  I'm starting to think there's a force out there greater than either of us that brought us together.  I don't know why I feel like this, but it feels like something is physically pulling me to you.  Is that weird?"  Zoe turned slightly so she was facing him.  She reached up and placed her hand on his warm cheek.  Ryder leaned into her touch.

 

"No, that's not weird.  I feel it too.   You're the first person I've ever opened up to besides Chase.  I have a lot more to tell you, but I want to get out of here first.  Do you feel like walking on the beach?"  He asked, taking her hand and bringing it to his lips to kiss the back of it.

 

"Yes,"  They stood up and walked to the cashier.  Ryder paid for their meal, and they walked across the street to where a wooden walkway led to the beach.  It was still early, so there weren't many people out.  They removed their shoes and set them between two large boulders before continuing to where the water could touch their feet.

 

"Before you tell me what else you need to say, can you do something for me?"  Zoe asked, slightly apprehensive.  

 

"Anything,"  Ryder answered.  She stopped and turned so they were face to face.

 

"Will you kiss me?"  Zoe asked softly.  Ryder felt his mouth go dry.  He'd never kissed anyone; what if he did it wrong?  What if he repulsed her?   

 

"Ryder, look at me."  When his eyes met hers, she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him down so their heads touched.  

 

"I understand if it's too soon, but I really want to kiss you."  Zoe looked into his eyes and saw the fear subside.

 

"Okay, but I've never kissed anyone."  He answered nervously, making him look even cuter. 

 

"That's okay; that means I can be your first."  She wanted to say first and last, but that might be too presumptuous. 

 

Ryder slowly brought his mouth to hers.  The sparks seemed to take over their bodies, igniting a flame that connected them.  Zoe moved her mouth against his, and it didn't take him long to take over.  When she parted her lips, he hesitated, but she didn't.  She slid her tongue against his stroking it as he moaned into her mouth.  

 

They pulled apart when they both needed air but kept their hold on each other.  If Zoe decided to reject him after he told her what he was, it would kill him.  This was all new to him, but he knew he was already falling in love with her.