Chapter 2

Saph POV

         Soft kisses trail from my jaw down to my neck. I turn away from him, giving better access. He pauses his gentle assault on my skin to breathe me in.

         “You smell divine, my Jewel. Always divine.”

         He resumes placing soft kisses on my neck, my shoulder, and my collarbone.

         “Mmm…don’t stop…” I whisper, arching my back, pushing my breasts even closer to his body. My nipples are hardened and begging for his kisses.

         “I’ll never stop. I’ll never leave you,” he promises as his warm hands, the color of brown sugar, caress my every curve.

         “But you did. You’re gone,” I whimper as I run my hands through his soft curls, looking into his deep chocolatey eyes.

         “I’m right here, my Jewel. I’m right here Saph…” His deep, soothing voice slowly begins to fade.

         “Saph…Saph…Saph! SAPH!”

         I shoot up, glaring daggers at whoever is shaking me.

         “What? Fucking, what do you want?!” I yell, feeling disoriented. I frantically check the space in the bed next to me, searching through the mound of blankets for his form, only to confirm it's empty and cold. How familiar that sensation has become for me these last few months.

         “Sorry, Saph. You weren’t at training this morning…again. Daya wanted me to check on you and remind you about your shift at the medical clinic,” Pearl says meekly, holding her hands up in surrender. Her light skin is flushed and covered in a layer of sweat, showing she just came from training.

         “Ugh. Have I missed a shift at the clinic yet?” I ask curtly, as I throw the blankets off me and throw my legs over the side of the bed abruptly. I tie my hair up into a messy bun as I stand up and stalk across the room towards the bathroom.

         “Well, no. I just wanted to check on you,” she says softly. I can see in the reflection in my mirror that she is fidgeting with the hem of her tank top. I feel bad for snapping at her, but I don’t have the energy to apologize. I feel suffocated.

         I stomp into my bathroom and flinch as the bright light burns my eyes. I’ve gotten used to keeping the blinds closed all summer.  I have no interest in waking up with the sun like I used to. As werewolves, we grow up loving the moon and living our lives based on its cycles, but I’ve always loved the sun; I had such fondness for sunsets and sunrises. But now, who cares?

         I spin around, checking the bathroom for a towel only to find none. I let out an exhausted sigh and turn around back into my bedroom. My head begins to throb, a reminder of one too many vodkas last night.

Pearl sits on the edge of my bed, trying to look busy on her phone- she’s not fooling anyone. I know she’s on ‘keep an eye on Saph’ duty. Yesterday it was Amy’s turn, and I’m sure Daya will invite me over to her house tonight, like always.

         “You don’t have to watch me, Pearl. I’m totally capable of taking a shower,” I grumble while fishing through a pile of laundry on the floor, tossing weeks’ worth of clothes into the air in my search. I just need a towel.

         “I’m not watching you, Saph. I’m hanging out with you,” she corrects me, her head tilting to the side and a sly smirk tugs up at the corner of her mouth.

         “Same difference,” I shrug. “Ah! Here!” I exclaim as I snatch up a faded blue towel, giving it a quick sniff. It smells a little musty, but it will do. I see Pearl cringe out of the corner of my eye. Whatever.

         “I just thought we could hang out before I leave, you know?” she sulks. I can hear the love in her voice, but I don’t have it in me to respond. Instead, I make my way into the bathroom and take a quick shower.

         After I finish, I dry myself with my less-than-clean towel and I scan all the products that have begun collecting dust on my shelves. I used to love using aromatherapy when I took hot showers, or I’d make myself a soothing bath with oils. What’s the point, now?

         “It’s not like you’re going to be gone forever, Pearl. You and Amy are just leaving for a couple of days,” I say, returning to the previous point she made.

         “But what if we find our mates? More and more people have been finding their mates since Darius, Vincenzo, and Alpha Ash…”

         “Don’t say that name around me!” I snap at her before she can finish her sentence. I clutch my towel tight to my body, fisting the fabric roughly. She tucks her lips together tightly and her cheeks become a deep red.

         “Sorry. I just mean that since the three packs have started taking turns hosting the full moon events, more people have been finding their fated mates. It must be a sign that our packs have always been meant to work together.”

         She’s always seen the world through rose-colored glasses. I used to appreciate her innocence and faith in the Moon Goddess. Hell, I used to share it at times. We all lost our mother so young to the Fated Plague. I was six, making Pearl only three. I remember our mother telling the most beautiful stories about her and our father. I grew up believing in true love, because of our parents’ love for each other. Pearl doesn’t even remember anything about our mother.

         Even after the Fated Plague took away the possibility of finding a fated mate, I still believed in true love, and I found mine. We barely had time to experience our own love story, but now, the Moon Goddess is granting werewolves fated mates again. Sure, I was ecstatic for Daya, our oldest sister, when she found Darius. The five of us worked so hard to ensure that they fought for their bond instead of running from it. Daya was so scared to accept Darius for fear that they would lose each other to the plague. She overcame that fear and I have never seen her happier.

         Just a few months ago, Emmy, our second-oldest sister, met her fated mate, too. Vincenzo has certainly taken our quiet Emmy and made her bolder and more confident. She definitely needed that. She truly just wanted to be loved and Vincenzo worships her every step. At least, that’s what my sisters tell me. I haven’t seen Emmy and Vincenzo in almost three months, since their pack hosted the first full moon event for the three packs: Running River, Forza, and Red Mountain. Every day I stare at my phone, trying to work up the nerve to call Emmy and apologize, but I can’t seem to do it.

         “Amy is excited to go with me. She hasn’t shown any interest until now to go to one of these full moon runs,” Pearl perks up, effectively pulling me out of my thoughts.

         “She’s probably just interested in hooking up with that mullet-haired asshole. I swear, that girl has the weirdest taste in men,” I laugh briefly. Pearl chuckles as well while she rummages through my dresser, most likely trying to find something clean for me to wear. I guess watching me dig through dirty laundry for a towel didn’t sit well with my baby sister.

          “You’re not wrong. Who knows, Amy and Archie could be mates! They seemed to have chemistry that night at the show at Emmy's pack. She hasn’t seen him since, but they would make a cute couple,” Pearl says as she pulls out a pair of black leggings and a white t-shirt, managing to find my last set of clean clothes. I take them from her and get dressed.

         “Whatever floats her boat. I don’t even try to understand what goes on in Amy’s head anymore. She’s such an enigma,” I say as I start to search for my left shoe. I kick the massive pile of laundry off to the side, searching for my missing tennis shoe. I used to be so organized, everything had a place.

         “I think she wants to find her mate just as much as anyone else, but she won’t admit it. You know how she always tries to put on a tough girl act,” Pearl states as she quietly helps me look for my shoe.

         I appreciate that Pearl hasn’t openly scolded me for my life choices over the last few months. I’m more than aware that I’m not the same Sapphire I once was. I’m reminded by all my sisters daily about this fact, but Pearl just gives me space and doesn’t judge me openly. I’m sure, in her head, she’s thinking I’ve gone off the deep end, but she’ll never voice that to me.

         “You may be right about Amy. You’re both still young and don’t need to be so focused on finding mates. How’s the tracker job treating you?” I ask as I crawl halfway under the bed in search of my shoe. I’m desperate to change the subject to anything else but mates. It hurts too much.

        

“Age has nothing to do with being ready for love, Saph. Mama wasn’t much older than I am when she found Father,” Pearl reminds me, checking behind a stack of books and magazines but doesn’t find my shoe.

         “Like you remember anything about Mama.” 

Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck! I bit my tongue a second too late. I stand up from the floor just in time to see Pearl stiffen like  a board, her soft features scrunching up as she fights back tears.

         “Shit, Pearl…I didn’t…I shouldn’t have…I’m sorry…” 

I really am. Pearl doesn’t deserve my anger. She’s the kindest of the five of us and I’ve never been so caustic to her.

         “It’s fine. You were just being honest,” she says softly, but her voice cracks, telling me that she’s choking back the urge to cry. I never meant to hurt her feelings. She moves towards the door and I think this is where she walks out and leaves me too- like Emmy did. Instead, she pulls the door away from the wall, revealing my missing shoe. “Here, now you can go to work,” she says in a more controlled voice, handing me my shoe.

         I take it from her hesitantly, wondering how it got there.

         “Thanks. You’ve always had a knack for finding things. Mama was the same way,” I say in a feeble attempt to cheer her up. The corners of her mouth twitch ever-so slightly. Please smile.

         “So I’m told.”

         We don’t say another word as we exit my cottage. I take in the flower beds, overgrown with weeds and grass. The hummingbird feeders are bone dry, and the wind chimes I used to love are flat on the ground, forgotten after a strong rainstorm knocked them down.

         I wish I cared.