Chapter 0006

FEYRE

My face shuts down and I feel anger course through my body because he has no right.

“I know a lot of people, Feyre, and it would be easy to track them. Just give me your word. Just a year, be the luna and give my son his heir. Then you can leave with your information and my son can have a semblance of normalcy in his life,”

He goes on, probably thinking I'm thrilled but no, I am annoyed. 

I don’t like it when people mention my parents, even people I am close to. Him just bringing them out of the blue upsets me, but I bite my tongue from giving him a piece of my mind just yet.

I should be smart and hear the rest of what he has to say. The rational part of me suggested.

“You want to find out who did that to them, don’t you?” he asks.

I grind my molars so hard together, it is a miracle my teeth don’t fall off.

We have tried, multiple times, to find the person or people that killed my family but it is like they disappeared off the face of earth or they never existed.

I have always dreamed of finding them and giving them what they deserve.

But how does he know? I don’t think the details of the murder were broadcasted so much that people outside of the pack knew.

He seems to know everything. My inner voice muses and I agree. 

I should be extra cautious. 

Asher’s father has always said the man with the most information is the one man the world should fear because he can destroy it with a word. Alpha Lucien has that persona.

“Wait, let me get this straight,” I state, folding my arms across my chest. “You want me to marry your son, that rejected me,” rage burns inside of me uncharted. 

“Not only that, I should give him an heir too?” I want to laugh, except I don’t find it funny.

“In a nutshell, yes.” I can’t help it, a small chuckle makes it past my lips.

“Technically, I should mate with your son, be the luna and then leave? What makes you think I’m that desperate for information?” I try to keep my voice low. 

“It would be a win-win situation,” his tone is so business-like. 

It certainly doesn’t sound like someone that is telling me to uproot my life and do something so crazy as to have a child with a man that I quite frankly hate, just because he wants to fix him.

I’m not a freaking correctional facility, which is what his son needs.

“No.” I shake my head, tired of hearing about this. “I cannot and will not have a child with your son to fix him. I’m not staying with him either.”

“Just for a year. I’m not asking to fix him, I know asking for you to make him feel again might be taking it too far.” 

I chuckle. Having his child isn’t taking it too far? Did I break my head and wake up in a fucked-up world? 

“Having a child might let him see that the world doesn’t have to be so gray every time. Please, as a father I feel terrible to ask you to do this, but I don’t have any other option. You’re the only hope my son and my pack have.”

My answer is still the same.

“Just think about it, you don’t have to say yes now.” He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a business card. “Here, think it through and give me a call when you decide what you do.” I try to shake my head. “Not immediately. Just think it through.”

I sigh and reach for it.

“Alright then, I’ll think about it and give you a call.” Lies.

“Have a great day Beta,” he smiles, his face lighting up with the act. 

I stare at his back as he walks to the door, spinning the card between my fingers.

He stops and turns to face me. “And Feyre, this should stay between us please. I don’t want anyone else to know.” 

I give him a single nod and he walks out of the door, leaving the ghosts of his words in his wake.

There are too many downsides to this and how sure am I that he even knows this. A year? How many aspects of my life will I have to bring a pause to just to do this?

And a child? Does he even know what he is saying?

I shouldn't even be thinking about this. I make my decision and rise up from the chair.

“I just saw Alpha Lucien leave, what happened?” Asher comes barreling into the room.

I’m still in a bit of shock so I‘m  quiet for the first few minutes. Asher is there with me, not rushing me to tell him what the alpha said.

The alpha said not to tell anyone, but Asher is not anyone. Before I can stop myself, I find myself telling him about everything. What the man said, what I replied with. By the time I finish, his jaw is slack with shock.

“Wow,” he breathes out. I huff and look up at the ceiling. “I don’t even know what to say,” he mutters, turning to look at me. 

“When are you leaving?” Asher asks and I stare at him with my brows reaching my hairline.

“What are you talking about?” The confusion is clear in my voice. Asher stares at me and shrugs his shoulders.

“You’ll have to tell him yes, Fey, this is the one thing you have been wishing for all your life. We did everything we could but couldn’t get the information and the right person, if Alpha Lucien says he would, then he would. I have heard of his connections,” I shake my head.

“That is not going to happen, I’m here and you need me of course. Who will I leave you to work with?”

“I’ll figure it out.” I roll my eyes.

“No, you won’t.” I reply and he grumbles something I don’t catch under his breath.

“Feyre this is not an option. It is just a year and you get the one thing you have always wanted,” he pushes off his chair, reaching for my hand. He gives it a squeeze. “Don’t think about me or the pack, think about yourself for once Fey, put yourself first. You more than deserve it.”

“Asher,” I mumble in a low voice. 

Something is clogging my throat.

I need to remind myself all that is at stake here. I won’t just leave my pack and everything I have known because of one man’s word. 

Asher looks hopeful when I lean forward.

“I’m not going.” He groans out loud and I can’t help it. I laugh.

“Feyre, why are you like this?” he grumbles like a disappointed child.

“I’m being logical. He just gave me a word and I don’t know if to trust him. I want to find out my parents’ killer more than anything, you know that.” he nods, I breathe out and tug on his hand. “But to have a child?” I shake my head. 

“If it was just the luna bit, I would have managed. It may be just a year but a child isn't going to just disappear after that, no, when I have that child with him, there won’t be any way to undo it and for the rest of my life, it is going to be part of it.”

“Okay, I see where you’re coming from.” He gets up and I follow suit. 

“We’ll find another way,” he pats my hand reassuringly.

I nod and bite my lips. I know this is the right decision.

We start walking to the door, our steps in sync. Asher opens the door and I step out first.

“Wanna get lunch?” Asher throws me a side glance. 

My stomach grumbles, reminding me I hadn't eaten anything since last night.

“Sure, let’s go.” I drag him by the arm and lead him to the kitchen. A few teenagers are lurking, trying to find what to eat and from the smell of sweat mixed with cologne and food, they just came back from training and are literally wolfing down anything they can find in the kitchen.

They all greet us as we try to find an available spot to sit.

“I’ll get us the leftover lasagne from last night.” I hum and drag a high stool to the side of the kitchen they aren’t standing in. 

They always hoard the side of the fridge because it is more convenient.

I watch them as Asher fixes our lunch, seeing them laughing and picking at each other reminds me of Asher and myself when we were their age.

They were good days, albeit I wasn’t as carefree then. I was too hung up on my parents’ death. 

Asher returns with our plate, pulling me from my sweet memory.

“I miss doing this,” I motion with my fork toward the kids who are now packing their things up and strolling out of the room. He throws his head back and laughs.

“The best years of our life,” I hum and take another bite, nodding.

“Definitely the best.”

“You should call him and tell him you agree. I’ll be fine and you can negotiate the terms.” I groan loudly when he starts again but he raises a hand up. “It is just a year, do you think that is enough to get the alpha who is nicknamed the cold alpha to name you his luna and try for an heir?” he doesn’t wait for me to answer.

“It’ll be a win-win for you. You can get your payback for the way he treated you while you’re there and when you leave after a month, you come back with the one thing you’ve always wanted.”

I sat for a long time thinking of what Asher said before deciding to just Alpha Lucien.

Like he was waiting for me to call, he picked on the second ring.

“Hello Feyre, I was expecting your call. Albeit not this soon.” Alpha Lucien greets, a hint of a smile in his voice.

I scowl at no one as my hands tighten around the phone.

“I accept, but only on my terms. I am not going to have a child.” he is quiet for a long beat before a hum sounds on the line.

“Okay then. No child. Anything else?”

I think about it for a moment before nodding.

“One year is too long, two months.”

“Three months.” I didn't have to think too much.

“Okay.”