It's been two weeks; the nightmares are not getting any better; I don't see him at all during the days, I spent my nights awake watching over him and crying for him. It should be the happiest part of our marriage, but it's not; he is going through something awful that I can't even begin to understand.
I need to talk to him.
There is something I need to tell him.
I find him out by the stables.
“Hey, baby.” I hand him a cup of hot coffee.
I reach out to give it to him, and I cannot help but noticed how his hands are shaking. “Thank you.” He only but mumbles from underneath his breath.
I move a little bit close to him and sit down on the bench next to him, “Baby, we need to talk.”
“Jenna, I am not in the mood for you telling me how you don't understand and how you want to help me.”
 
...Tyler POV…There is a lot that can happen in a split second that can change your life, that can change a man. You might think at the time it is the best thing to do but it can turn around and be your greatest regret.I thought I was walking into it as a man that wanted to save his wife but I walked out a ruined and broken man. A man that will never be the same.I play it off in my head over and over again. One second I am staring a crazed monster in the face then next he is on the floor. The second his lifeless body hit the floor my own life became lifeless.I cannot face Jenna, I don't know if it is because I feel ashamed or because I feel like a monster. This is the week that should be my honeymoon but I cannot be around her, I don't want to be around anyone at this moment or even in the near future.She is trying her best to be supportive and to understand but I am n
Tyler seems to be better. The news of our baby that is on the way has cleared his head in some way and he has escaped from the demon that has to hold him back in his mind.Or that is what I have thought.Last night was torture, not only for me but for him as well. The nightmares seem to have crept their way back into his soul. I did not but sleep one wink out of desperation to get him from where he went running off again.I thought he had escaped the place where he had gone, but yet he is back again. The man that I love has become but a shelf of who he is. He has forgotten all the good things that need to keep him here.As we sit for breakfast this morning, which he reluctantly had been forced to do, I can see that hollowness has returned to his mind.Tyler is gone from me again and I have, once again, no way in saving him from himself. I thought that the news of our baby would keep him back, get him away and save him from the monster that has take
It does not take me but a second and I drop the phone and race over to Tyler. I find him lying on the floor in the stables. As I look over at him, I see he is not moving. There is blood. There is so much blood. I cannot see where it is coming from. I call his name. There is no answer. I shake him. He does not respond. I try to find his pulse. I feel nothing. There is nothing. He is not responding.It comes faster than a crashing wave over my body, "Tyler!"The pain knocks my breath away, and I cannot breathe, "Tyler!" I shake him harder than I have ever shaken anyone in my life ever before."Tyler, Please wake up!" My words mean nothing. He is not moving.I beg, and I beg, and I plead, I say the words over and over, "Please, please, please, please wake up!"There is a deafening silence; the world has stopped. There is nothing but horror. My words are stuttering; I am totally lost; my world is shattered in pieces. Why is he not waking up? Why is he
It has now been two days; there is absolutely no improvement with Tyler. I have been talking to him, hoping that it will bring him back, but that is not even working. I am beginning to lose hope; my heart is fearful that this is it; we have been stealing second chances all our lives, maybe they are up.Doctor Cane says I should have faith, but how can you have faith if the person you have faith in is not even here. There is no such thing as miracles either; they are just a pure coincidence that something has come together.Since the accident, I have not been home; I don't want to see that place, there are too many memories there, good memories, memories of a life spent together. One day these times spent in this hospital room will become a memory too.It reminds me of the place where we would have raised our child, where we vowed to spend our lives together, pledge our undying love, promised always to be there for each other, now even that lives in ruin.
It has now been a week. They have moved him to another room; at least there is some sunshine and a couple of birds outside singing. There is still no improvement. I am struggling to see the future. They say that there comes a time that you need to make peace with what could the outcome of a situation; I am bordering on that line of peace and hope.It becomes dangerous when you give up on hope and faith; you are not only letting go of the situation but also of yourself. You stop waiting; then you stop caring, then you stop living. You become the shadow of the person you were before; a black hole swallows you in, and there you stay, not by accident but by choice.How can it be possible for someone to be gone for so long? Is he that lost that he can not find his way back?I am soon ripped from my thoughts as Doctor Cane enters the room, I have really been giving him a real hard time, but he does understand. He, too, feels frustrated, and his heart hurts just as bad
It has now been a week, five days, and twenty hours. I have started caring less, not for Tyler but for myself. As every day passes, I hate myself more and more; why did I do this to him, why did I have to go run after another man and turn him into a complete monster. He was always there, no matter how small or how bad. He believed in me no matter what I did, no matter where I went. He loved me more than I would really ever know. Doctor Cane said I must meet him today to talk about Tyler's progress; there might just be some hope for this dire situation; maybe this time, I am the one that found a miracle. So, it is with great anticipation, but most fear that I am waiting for Doctor Cane in Tyler's hospital room. As I see him walking up to me, it is hard to read his face; I don't know where this will go. "Hi, Jenna." "Hi, Doctor Cane." "Please come sit down." "What's wrong? Is it Tyler?" I watch as he swallows real hard, a
The time is going by faster than I have been counting. It is crawling to two weeks at a rather alarming pace and yet, there is no improvement in Tyler at all. I beg Doctor Cane every day just to give it one more chance. We have been stealing chances and I fear the day that they are going to run out. I am not ready to give up on Tyler. I know that he is in there, he just needs to find his way back home. Each night, as silly as it may seem, I burn a candle hoping that it will help him find the light and step back into our world. Yes, the rambling thoughts of a woman that has almost no strength in her left. Yet, I need to be strong for our baby. I cannot give up on living and I cannot give up on hope. But giving up is a question that we have been talking about a lot lately. The thing is, that day when I found Tyler on the floor, I found his gun only but inches away from his body. The blood was so much that I could not see if he was should or mere
I cannot believe this is happening to me. Detective Fletcher is arresting me for what he believes is Tyler’s murder. Since when does a simple accident become murder. Yes, I can still not believe that he took his own life either. Nothing makes sense at the moment, and I know they want to lock me in a cell until it does. What Detective Fletcher fails to understand is that it is not going to happen. First of all, I am not leaving my husband alone while he is fighting for his life, and second, I am pregnant for. But even the most, is that I did not do it. I know the note does point in a different direction, but not even that direction is making sense. Why would Tyler want to take his own life when only, but before the accident, he was so excited that he was going to become a father. I understood that the demons in his head would not go away that easily, but to take your own life so suddenly, that is not Tyler. But, I think I need to take a moment and step back to