Letting Loose

Bella POV

After Alex left, I was feeling, you know what, I have no idea what I was feeling. It was like a mixture of numbness, shock, hurt, happiness, anger. I mean we never had to stop being friends. He was the one

that wanted freedom. He just didn’t want me. He wanted me as a friend but not as a girlfriend.

The day he broke it off with me, I was heartbroken. I mean I had fallen in love with him. I thought he felt the same way and I was planning on telling him. We also had a road trip planned for the summer and that just

went out the window because he wanted to have his freedom already. It was like he had changed. Like a flip of a switch. I did not know what else to do but be a friend and be supportive while I was breaking inside. I got away from him as soon as possible and went up to my room. I feel on the floor and started crying.

A couple of minutes later Elise had walked in and saw me on the floor. She automatically closed the door and came over and hugged me. She asked me what was wrong and I told her everything. She was the only one that knew about our relationship. She was shocked and said “What is going on with my family?”. When I asked her what she meant, she said that her parents and brother have been arguing a lot lately but no one would tell her what was going on. She also told me that she has noticed the changed in her brother.

We both sat there while cried and laughed because we really had no idea what was going on in our lives. From that day forward we were super close. After that I was never able to fall in love with anyone. I was broken. I not only lost my boyfriend but also my best friend. What was breaking more is how I felt about the explanation. He wanted freedom. I know he said his parent’s pressures and such but we could have stayed together. No, he wanted freedom from me as well. It made me feel unloved and unwanted. That summer ended up being the worse summer. Aside from being rejected, that summer I went through a very severe depression. My grandmother had dies. We were very close and I was heartbroken. I felt that people just leave me. Yes, I had my parents and Elise and her parents. But the people that knew me inside and out, as well my deepest secrets and fears were my grandmother and Alex. Then I lost them. My parents just thought I was grieving my grandmother.

Every guy I dated after that which were not many, was nothing in comparison to him. The old him, not the new him. When I started dating Matteo is was when I had decided to let go of the old Alex and just move

on with my life. Now Alex wants to be back in my life, but I am not sure how this is going to work. The problem is I still love him. No matter how much I deny it I do. But I know he is not the same person. Will he then leave me again?

I fell asleep after all my thoughts.

The next day was amazing. We spent all day at the spa. The full day was amazing. We were relaxing and this is what I needed.  

Elise and I had a conversation about my talk with Alex last night. I told her everything that had happened.

She asked me “Do you still love him, Bella?

“I think I do Elise and I don’t know why.” I respond

“Are you going to try to be his best friend again? And trust me I am not jealous. I know you love me. I just know how much I missed all three of us hanging out without our parents there.” She said

“I am going to try to be his friend again. I also told him that we would have to build up the friendship again. That’s why he wanted to come, so we can bond as friends again. He seemed to have understood and then he left. The he hugged me and I kind of froze at first. That’s how I knew I still loved him. Because he felt like home. I don’t know if that makes sense.” I sigh

“Bella, I understand exactly how you feel. That’s how I feel with John. I just don’t want you to get hurt again. I was there that day. I know you remember it better than I do, but I remember the pain I saw you in and

it made me hurt as well. I love my brother and in a perfect world you guys would be married by now we at least my perfect niece on the way. But I also know that my brother has changed, a lot. I just don’t want you to get hurt.”

“I know Elise and that’s why I told him I need to build up to that point. I need to get myself in the friend headspace and learn to love him in that capacity instead of loving him as someone having a future with because he will never see me that way.”

She sighs and just said “Let’s see how this night goes.”

After we finished at the Spa we are so relax and take an hour nap before the guys come and get us at 7.

A knock comes at the door. Elise goes to open it and the guys come in. As soon as they see what we are wearing they both just said they were glad they came since we should not be out dressed like that by ourselves. I mean we were both wearing black bodycon dresses with LV heels. We wanted to

match.

“Okay ladies please stick with us for the night. We are going to have dinner at Nobu and we will walk the strip. We can then go clubbing halfway through the strip and continue to walk the strip after a couple of hours. The we will rest up and meet for brunch at 11 am. Does that work for everyone?” Alex says

“We came up with discussing the plan before we got wasted today.” John says.

“I am okay with that. Sounds good to me.” Elise says

“I agree, I like having a plan.”

After the guys picked us up, we ended up having dinner, then we walked the strip. We actually had really good conversation. Alex and I talked some. Nothing too personal just basic chat. I did not want to talk about

anything personal. I wanted to unwind and relax before going back home and having to be all business. Don’t get me wrong I do have freedom to go out and have fun, but I am responsible and like to plan. I take lots of mini weekend vacations. Its my way of relaxing and letting loose. I was just always alone or

with Elise. This trip was supposed to be my first trip with a guy.  

While walking the strip, we stopped at a few street vendors and bought some desert and drinks. The drinks were incredibly strong. The alcohol really help me be more loose and not shy away from Alex. It was like we were young again just having fun.

When we got to the club, we were already kind of drunk so, I ordered some water for everyone first before we continued drinking. We danced the night away. I look over and I see Elise dancing with John, and I am dancing with Alex.

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The next morning, I woke up with a pounding headache. I slowly open my eyes to adjust to the light. I tried to move but I groan as I not only feel pain in my head but between my legs. I start to panic; I hear a groan from beside me and I quickly sit up. Ugh, should not have done that. I look to see who it is and its Alex. What the hell happened? I run my hand through my hair and I feel something on my finger. I look at my hand and see a ring.

“OH MY GOSH!!!!” I screamed. I started to remember everything that happened last night. And when I say everything, I mean everything.

“THIS CANT BE HAPPENING!!” I yelled out.