Present Day
Half of a turkey sandwich stared up at me, daring me to eat it, but I just couldn't find the appetite. I had eaten the first half, and had even enjoyed it, but my aching heart was taking up all the space in my body and I just didn't have room to fit the sandwich. I pushed the food away, the plate making a soft grating noise along the wood table.
The Saunders family portrait stared out at me from across the table. It was one from when the two boys were young. Jack stood next to his father, his hair neat and eyes bright. Robbie, his younger brother, sat on his mother's knee. Despite the outward calm of the picture, I remembered running around trying to catch Robbie to make his hair lay flat for the picture. He had run around the studio like a wild child, eventually tripping and scraping his knee. I could see the edge of the bandage poking out from beneath his shorts.
The table vibrated. I looked askance at the plate, wondering if I had angered the turkey sandwich gods by not eating it; I hadn't pushed it that hard when the tabled buzzed again. Shaking my head at my thoughts, I picked up my phone and the table stopped humming. It was a number I didn't recognize, but that was common enough with my work phone.
"Rachel Weber, how may I help you?"
"Hi Rachel. It's Robbie. I, uh... I need you to come get me." Robbie's voice crackled over the line. His words slurred together just enough that I knew he had been drinking. I sighed. When Robbie was on land, he was always drinking. Some days I was glad he was on his boat just because I knew that meant he was sober. Robbie had a strict rule that he never, ever sailed drunk.
"All right. Where are you? I'll send a car." If I knew Robbie, he was at the bar by the marina in a small town a couple of hours north of the Saunders' mansion. I had picked him up there more than once, to the point where the owner knew my car on sight.
Robbie stayed silent for a moment. "I'm actually gonna need you to come get me. Not just send a car." Uh-oh. This wasn't going to be an easy bar-run.
"Where are you, Robbie?" I managed to keep my voice even. Getting angry with him never worked. It was because I kept calm that he trusted me. There was a reason he never called his mother or brother to get him. It meant several three-o'clock in the morning phone calls, but at least that also meant that he always told me the truth.
"Winchester..." Robbie said. "in the county jail."
I closed my eyes and counted to ten. Some days I just didn't know what to do with him.
"Why are you in jail, Robbie? Please tell me it's for something minor." I had bailed him out a couple of times, usually for public intoxication or finishing a bar fight. He always finished a fight, even though he never seemed to start them. Please let it be just a little bar fight...
"I hit someone with my yacht. I technically had the right of way, but.." his voice trailed off.
"But what, Robbie?" I began rubbing my temple with my free hand. Please, don't have killed anyone! Please, please, please...
"I was drinking. That's why I'm in lockup."
Shock went through me like ice water. Robbie hit someone with his boat because he was drinking? But Robbie never drank and sailed. That was like saying he could breathe underwater. It just wasn't something he could do. The fact that he was drinking and sailing startled me more than if he had said he had accidentally killed them.
"You were sailing drunk?" I couldn't believe the words could even come out of my mouth. From the corner of my eye, I saw Dean step into the kitchen and pull the milk out of the fridge. I found myself focusing on his smooth movements, my brain refusing to believe what it had just heard and instead focusing on something it could understand. Dean carefully screwed the lid back on and put the jug away, leaning casually against the counter as he sipped on the glass. I could tell he was waiting for me to get off the phone, but I didn't care if he overheard my phone conversation. He knew all the trouble Robbie had been in up to this point.
"Yes. Listen, this is my one phone call. Will you please come get me? And don't tell Dad. He already thinks I'm a screw-up." Disappointment and failure rang through his voice. My heart sagged in my chest. Their relationship was difficult at best. Telling a dying man that his youngest son was in jail was not something I wanted to do.
"I'll keep it quiet. You said the county jail in Winchester, right?" I closed my eyes, trying to figure out how to get there without anyone noticing.
"Yeah. I know you'll worry about this if I don't tell you. The sheriff hasn't told anyone I'm here yet, so you don't have to worry about that. He said he'd keep it quiet until you got here. The girl I hit is at Mercy Hospital." Robbie's voice somehow sounded more dejected. "And the girl... I hit Sam, Rachel."
"Sam? Samantha Conner?" I opened my eyes as another shock hit me. This was going to be a rough afternoon.
"Yeah. Will you check on her?" Robbie asked. He sounded devastated. Samantha had been his best friend until she moved away when he was thirteen. He had been heartbroken when she left. I had lost track of her, but he had obviously found her again. Unfortunately, it was with his boat.
"Of course I will. I'll be there in a couple hours, all right?"
"Yeah. I'm really sorry about this, Rachel." He somehow managed to sound even more forlorn.
I sighed. "I know, Robbie. And I want you to know that I'm pissed. I'm coming to get you, but I am not pleased." Even through the phone, I could hear him shrink. I was one of the few people whose opinion mattered to him.
"Thank you, Rachel. I really mean it. I don't know what I'd do without you," he said. His voice was quiet.
"I'll be there soon." I hung up the phone and pressed my palms into my eyes. This was not what I needed today. What I needed today was a massage and a glass of wine.
"Who's in jail?" Dean asked, sliding into the seat next to me. He set his glass down with a quiet click on the table. I glanced over, his blue eyes full of concern.
"Robbie. He was sailing drunk. I have to go bail him out," I answered. I folded my hands under my chin, looking out at the leaves and trying to think. I had to go get him without raising suspicion. I knew Emma would cover for me but that Jack would be furious if he found out. There was no way I was going to let Daniel know, though.
"I'll go get the car." Dean stood smoothly, picking up his glass and heading toward the sink.
"What makes you think you are coming? Robbie asked me to come get him. And... and you're supposed to be watching Emma." The idea of being in a car with Dean, alone, for two hours had me simultaneously excited and terrified. I wanted desperately to be alone with him, but frightened of what could happen.
Dean gave me a level look, his blue eyes capturing mine. "You're going to want my help."
"Why? I can drive myself, and I've bailed Robbie out of jail before. This isn't a new thing," I scoffed at him.
He set the glass in the sink and stepped closer to me. He came close enough that I could smell his cologne, his face only inches from mine. My fingers itched to reach out and touch him while my stomach did flips worthy of the Olympics. I had a sudden wish that he would just lean over and kiss me.
"You need me." He gave me one of his crooked smiles. "I know the sheriff in Winchester. He owes me a favor. Wouldn't it be nice if Robbie didn't have this on his record?"
With him this close to me, I was having trouble concentrating. I just wanted to touch him, to kiss him again. Even after all this time, I still dreamt about that last kiss. I needed to focus on something other than his perfect lips. I smoothed the top of my head, making sure it was still in a tight, neat bun. Be professional. You can't have him. He probably doesn't even think of you like that anyway.
"Fine," I said, narrowing my eyes at him. "I'm driving though."
His crooked grin widened to a full-out smile, his eyes twinkling. And I'm thinking of kissing him again. This was going to be a long day.
Two and a half years ago Bianca Saunders strode toward me with anger flashing in her eyes. I froze in my seat, quickly forgetting the memo I was typing. She should have looked demure in her dress suit, gold flowers shining out happily from a field of silver, but instead, she just looked like an angry bee. I hoped I wasn't the one about to be stung. "Jack needs a new bodyguard." She threw a newspaper at my chest as she stomped across my office and into the executive lounge, heading toward the coffee pot. She tottered on her golden heels, shaking in her rage and splashing coffee across the counter. Some of the dark liquid spilled on her jacket, and she cursed under her breath as she grabbed a napkin and began dabbing at the silver and gold embroidery. I fumbled with the newspaper and groaned slightly when I saw the headline. Billionaire's Bodyguard Assaults Photographer blazed out in bold letters across the heading of the page. In a blurry black and white photo, Jack looked on in hor
June 6th, 1990 I woke up nestled on Dean's arm, using it as a pillow. We were still in more or less the same spot that we had had sex in a few hours before. He was snoring softly, which was really cute. I looked at my watch and found that it was still really early. My head was swimming a little bit and I really had to go to the bathroom. I didn't want to wake Dean, so I tried to sneak out of the bed. However, my hair must have tickled his arm, because his arm shot out and grabbed mine. He took me by surprise, and I squealed a little bit. He laughed. "Where do you think you're going? We're supposed to go surfing," he said, obviously still half asleep. He blinked, then let go of my arm. His eyes focused, and he looked me up and down. I blushed. The sun's light was much more illuminating than the moon's, and I realized that he was drinking in his first clear sight of my naked body. This man was a stranger, and suddenly I felt extremely self conscious. I pulled the sheet from the bed up
June 6th, 1990 "Okay, now this time I'm going to just give you a little push on the back of the surfboard. Center yourself and get ready." We were out in the ocean. Dean was taking the time to show me how to surf and it was not going well. As he gave my surfboard a little tap, I found myself staying up on the surfboard for about a half second before crashing into the water again. Oh well, I thought. At least my top is still on. I came to the surface, sputtering once again. Dean grabbed my hand, steadying me before going after the surfboard. He grabbed it and brought it back to me. "Quick, get back on the board, I can see a great swell coming," he said, obviously excited. "You take it." I unlatched the surfboard from my ankle and handed him the strap. Dean had seemed excited about surfing, yet he hadn't even gotten on the board yet. "Please, just ride this wave. Then you can watch me surf for the rest of the afternoon," he said, pushing the strap away. I laughed. "Okay." I laid
Two and a half years ago I alternated between staring at the heavy wooden doors and glaring at my watch. A notepad with a new pen sat waiting at my fingertips, but I wasn't even tempted to doodle. Dean Sherman had my complete and utter attention, and he wasn't even in the room yet. What would I say to him? Hi, Dean. I sent you a letter every day for a month, but I never got one from you. That sounded too harsh. Especially since I knew he had never gotten a single one of my letters. I had sent them out religiously once I moved to New York to work for the Saunders family, but after a month of no replies, the postman had handed me a stack of unopened letters. Something in the address Dean had given me had made them undeliverable. You could have just told me you weren't interested. Instead I waited for you. I asked my landlord to forward all my mail, but I never got anything. Not even a postcard! No, that wasn't fair either. It was very possible that my landlord just was lazy and threw
June 7th, 1990 The sky was just beginning to glow with the promise of morning when I felt Dean slip out of bed. He padded quietly on the floor, picking up his clothes and dressing. I peeked one eye open to watch him wriggle into a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, admiring the view. It was worth it to wake up a little to see his body move. His blue eyes caught me peeking and he came over and sat on the edge of the bed. "Go back to sleep," he whispered, leaning over to kiss my forehead. His lips were warm and soft, so soft that I never wanted them to leave. "Where are you going?" Sleep made my voice creak like an old door. Dean brushed the hair off my forehead, smiling down at me. He looked like an angel in the morning light. "Boy things today. Remember?" Dean's blue eyes twinkled with excitement. I nodded slowly, remembering that he had said something about going out with Matt and Tony today. "Have fun. When will you be back?" I asked, sitting up slightly. "Late afternoon." He kissed
June 7th, 1990The boardwalk creaked under our feet as we made our way along the sandy planks. Small local shops had their doors open to let in the warm ocean air and passing customers. The smell of hotdogs and popcorn drifted by, and music played softly from the inside the shops."I'm starving. You want something to eat? My treat." Dean let go of my hand, eyeing the food stand."Sure. I'll take a hotdog. Thanks!" I flashed him a big grin as he hurried over to the line. I was about to follow him, but something caught my eye.On the edge of the boardwalk, facing out toward the ocean, a street vendor was selling his paintings. They were amazing. The seascapes caught my attention, particularly one of a storm about to roll in. A woman stood silhouetted in the foreground, tiny against the powerful thunderclouds and swelling waves. I could feel the surge of the water, the light fading quickly into the clouds as the storm threatened to overcome her. Despite the storm, she stood strong and re
June 8th, 1990 When I woke up in bed again with Dean, it was the first time that I didn't feel like things were perfect. This was the last day that I would spend with Dean, and I knew that none of us girls were ready to say goodbye. If there was ever a time when I felt at home, it was here in Florida, with my two best friends and the three guys that made us happier than we had ever been. Still, when he rolled over and smiled at me, I couldn't help but grin back. "Hey," I said. "Hey, Beautiful," he said. He looked completely at peace. I turned on my side to face him. The sheet was down around my waist, and my breasts were exposed in front of him, but it seemed like it had been forever ago that I had any modesty around him. "What do you have planned for today?" He shrugged. "I was hoping I could hang out with my girl," he said with a grin. I beamed. My girl. The words sounded perfect coming out of his mouth. "Well, yeah, but what are you going to do with your girl?" I asked, putt
June 8, 1990- Evening At some point when it started to get dark, Tony and Kim sneaked away and started a small fire down on the beach while the rest of us were on the volleyball court. Tony put some hamburgers on the grill that his aunt kept in the garage, and by the time we were done with the last volleyball game, he had paper plates full of food for us to eat. We opened a bag of potato chips. Tony removed the grill from the fire and began to throw more and more fuel into it, quickly turning it into a bonfire. We cracked open some beers and all began to eat. None of us spoke much, busy eating and simply enjoying the good company. I sat on the sand and watched the fire as the sun finished setting, leaning my head against Dean's shoulder as we munched on potato chips. The waves crashed against the beach below, and soon a cool wind began to blow in from the ocean. Dean graciously slipped my tank top off his neck and let me have it back. It was just the right amount of clothing to be c
Emma smiles at me. She fixes my veil one last time, making sure it is still on straight, then smooths the hair curling gently around my shoulders. She says something about weddings, and I smile automatically. My mind isn't on her. It's on the person waiting for me at the end of the stone pathway. Dean is waiting for me. She fusses with Jack's tie, making sure that it, too, is on straight. He gives her a warm smile and shoos her out of the house. I can hear her heels clicking on the steps as she hurries to the garden to tell them we're ready to begin. I feel like I'm going to float away I'm so happy. I wonder how it is possible for any one person to brim with so much joy to the point of overflowing, yet here I am, barely able to contain myself. Dean is waiting for me. Jack takes my hand, placing it in the crook of his arm as we start to walk out the main doors. I remember my flowers at the last moment and I pull myself free to grab them. I grasp them tightly as I give my hand back t
Present Day The afternoon sun transformed the world into a kaleidoscope of orange and red as it filtered through the autumn leaves. Dean sat in the garden on a wrought iron bench, his eyes closed as he looked toward the sun. He reminded me of a cat, sitting there soaking up the last rays of warmth before winter. I stood for a moment under the rustling leaves, just admiring him. He was so handsome. His dark hair ruffled in the fall breeze, the wind mussing it like a lover's caress. His jaw was strong and smooth, his back tall and straight. Even after all this time, he still made my heart pound in my chest like a nervous school girl's. He was everything I could ever ask for; everything I could ever want. The leaves crackled under my feet as I followed the stone pathway to the bench. Dean opened one eye just enough for a sliver of blue to peek out, but then he closed it. His face remained impassive. I smiled at him, even though he couldn't see it. I felt like I might vibrate out of my
Present Day The Saunders clan sat quietly in the parlor. Emma and Jack were on an old-fashioned love seat, Emma's head resting on Jack's shoulder. Robbie stood beside them, staring out the window, his hands behind his back. Several employees and close staff huddled in a group by the corner, solemn and quiet like a silent flock of black birds. I stood next to Bianca, who sat stiffly in a blue wing-backed chair. Her hair was perfect, her makeup unsmudged, but I knew inside she was screaming with loss. A lawyer fumbled with long sheets of paper at the head of the room, preparing to read the will. Daniel had only been dead for less than a day, but it was per his wishes that the will be read now. I swallowed my tears down. Now that I was here, Daniel's death was real again. For a few blessed moments with Dean, my heart forgot to hurt. Now it just ached as though it were making up for the missed time. Bianca's brown eyes stared blankly at the room. I knew she didn't see the people there,
Present Day The rest of the day was a blur. All I felt was pain, the gray shadows of memory taunting me with Daniel's life. He had been my friend, my father, and my employer. Despite months of preparation, it had come too soon. His absence left a hole in my heart that could never be filled. The doctor entered the room, checking Daniel's limp wrist for a pulse. Bianca clung to him, her eyes shut as she willed him to still be alive. The doctor carefully worked around her, performing the necessary checks before quietly leaving the room. He put his hand on Jack's shoulder as he left, murmuring the words, "I'm sorry," he said, and Jack nodded, but I don't think he actually heard him. His eyes were glued to the bedroom, tears silently running down his face. Upon the doctor's apology, Robbie stood. He stared at those of us in the doorway for a moment before taking off down the stairs. I heard the front door slam, but I let him go. A minute later, I could hear the roar of an engine as he d
Present Day I pulled my hair up into a bun as Dean parked the car in front of the Saunders' mansion. Even from here I could tell something was wrong. The feeling of a string about to be cut vibrated out of the house. Dark shadows cast up onto the porch, the autumn morning sun still cold. I shivered and pulled a sweater up around my shoulders. I stepped out of the car, making sure my shirt hung straight. I always carried a change of clothes in my car. In my line of work, you never knew when you would be stuck at the office overnight. Or sleeping at your boyfriend's place for the first time. Emma hurried out to greet us. She ran barefoot across the wet grass, the hem on her pants growing darker with every step. She hugged her arms around her, keeping herself warm as well as from falling apart. Tear stains already streaked her face. She didn't even bat an eyelash at the fact that we had arrived together, instead grabbing my hand and hurrying me toward the house. "What happened, Emma?
Present Day I woke up the next morning to find that Dean was already out of bed. The room seemed empty without him. I glanced at the painting on the nightstand, the woman still defiant against the storm after all these years. It made me smile that he had kept it. The floor was cold to my bare feet as I stumbled into the bathroom. Sitting on the toilet seat was a clean pair of sweats and a plain gray t-shirt. I slid the comfortable clothing on, rolling the waist band to keep the pants up. The shirt smelled like Dean, and I breathed it in, enjoying the scent. I giggled as I realized there was no way he was going to get this t-shirt back. Well, maybe, when it lost that wonderful smell and needed refreshing. The rest of the apartment was quiet, but I found a pot of coffee ready with a note in Dean's messy handwriting. Good morning Beautiful, I didn't want to wake you, but I'm getting breakfast. Creamer's in the fridge. I love you. I folded the note and stuck it in my pocket. Even t
Present Day I had intended to go to a rustic Italian restaurant just a few miles from the Saunders' mansion. I had intended to walk in, sit down, eat lasagna and tiramisu, have a glass of wine, and then head back and take a long hot shower. That was what I had intended. Instead, I was standing in front of Dean's apartment building. I could see a light coming from his corner unit, the yellow window shining cheerfully into the dark night. The wind blew across the yard, rattling the remaining leaves on the trees and making the fallen ones skitter across the sidewalk. The moon hung low, orange and full against the night sky. I was about to go back to my car, to drive to that little restaurant and actually do what I was supposed to do, but the memory of that kiss pulled at me. Now that we had kissed, even just once, I wanted more. Before I even knew what I was doing, my hand was knocking at his door. I looked down at the brave appendage in shock, wondering what the hell I was thinking.
Present Day Robbie passed me as I walked down the hallway toward Daniel's room. His eyes were still rimmed with red, and his lips were pursed together as he walked the ornate carpet, his mind lost in thought. I don't think he even saw me as he paced back and forth down the long hallway. I wasn't sure he had even been in to see his father since we had brought him home, but at least he was in the house. I knocked softly before entering the large room that had become Daniel's infirmary. A large hospital bed took up the center of the room, an oxygen tank and an IV pole tucked carefully beside them. Bianca sat in a large easy chair in the corner, her feet tucked up under her as she typed on her laptop. I could hear soft classical music, playing softly in the background. Knowing Daniel, it was probably Mozart. Daniel sat propped up in the bed, pillows and blankets tucked tightly around him. His pale face was so gaunt that his eyes seemed to sink into his paper thin skin. I remembered the
Present Day I parked carefully in front of the police station, making sure I was evenly between the two lines. Just because Dean said he knew the sheriff, I didn't want to push my luck. I just wanted to get Robbie out with as little fanfare as possible and get him home to see his father. The door chimed softly as I walked in. It was a small building, barely more than a room and an office, with two barred cells along the back wall. Sitting in one of them was a very dejected-looking Robbie. He glanced up as I came in, and then put his head back in his hands to stare at the floor. Dean was leaning up against the chest-high wooden monstrosity of a desk, talking with a man in a crisp tan uniform. "How were things at the hospital?" Dean asked, and all three men looked up to hear my answer. "Samantha's doing fine. She's agreed not to press charges," I stated. I heard a low sigh of relief come from the cell. "May I talk with Robbie?" "Yes, ma'am, you may. Dean and I here just have a few