05. Pain

"Too many thoughts and too little time, we're doomed from the start"

~ D.J.

"Why goddess!!?? Why!!!!" I wail loudly, my head raised above, staring at the moon.

"You knew it! You knew everything!" I scream pointing at the moon, "we are your children right! Then how could you cause us so much pain!" I push my knees further in my chest, my fingers squeeze my knees brutally.

I was transferring the pain outside, the pain that was brewing inside me making it hard for me to breathe. I needed something, someone to hold on to.

But I couldn't return back, the humiliation, the heart break, the reality of Theo not being mine. I can't face it.

I bury my face in my knees, some time later, my wails die down to silent shuddering sobs that shake my whole body. My head was throbbing, I couldn't open my eyes because of all the tears that I have shed, I was lost in my heartbreak when suddenly I sensed something.

My ears perk up as I hear a crunching sound in the silent night apart from my cries. I quickly wrap a hand around my mouth and look down to see if I wasn't hallucinating.

I was sitting atop of a tree, hiding in it's branches, away from prying eyes and closer to the moon, so I could ask the goddess why she did this.

The crunching sound grew closer, someone was here and they were stepping on the dead leaves while walking here. 

Rogues? No it can't be, I'm still inside the packs territory. It must be dad, Ofcourse it must be him, I've been missing for god knows how long. He must be looking for me.

"Celeste" the whisper of my name has me freezing in my place, it's him! Why is he here?

"Celeste!" This time his voice is more urgent and panicked. I clasp my mouth tightly to stop my incoming sobs that are triggered by his voice.

I peek from the leaves and see him coming in view, he is all alone, he looks around the trees calling my name. A worried expression etched on his face.

Has he found his mate? Is he here to tell me about her?

I move back to hide from his sight but my movements capture his attention, the next thing I know he's staring right at me. 

I was stunned, how did he even hear me. I barely made a sound. 

Is it because of his new powers?

"Come down baby" he whispers coming closer to the tree I was hiding on, I shut my eyes at the sweet endearment that leaves his lips.

I shake my head, unable to speak. "Please baby, we need to talk" he tries again in a soothing voice. "G-go aw-ay Theo" I manage to say breathlessly as more tears run down my cheeks.

His face contours in anger, he shuts his eyes taking in deep breaths. "DOWN NOW!" His voice darkens all of a sudden, the command of my future Alpha forces my wolf to listen to him.

He has never used this tone with me, I have never felt so much power in his voice alone.

Unwillingly I climb down from the tree, my feet land on the soil, before I could turn around, a strong pair of arms encircle my waist than turn me around, and I'm pushed into a hard chest.

It all happened within a blink of an eye.

I gasp at the strong force, Theo tightens his hold around me, he pushes his nose in the crook of my neck taking a deep whiff of my scent.

It is all that takes for me to break down again. I cry, I cry hard in his embrace. "H-how? Wh-why!?" I couldn't form any coherent words.

But he understood me, he kept me close, his one hand stroking my head in a calming manner.

"Shh my love, everything is going to be alright" he murmurs sweet reassuring words in my ear, giving me a false sense of relief.

I bask in this moment, as it helps me calm down. I nod my head at his sweet words, absentmindedly agreeing to whatever he said.

He was here, that's all that mattered to me at the moment.

"Come" he says kissing the top of my head before pulling away, I look up at him in panic. Where is he going?

Theo quickly notices my fear stricken face, "I'm here baby, I'm going no where and nor are you" he rubs my right cheeks with the rough pad of his thumb.

"We can't stay here all night, we need to be somewhere safe, we need to talk love" he whispers sweetly. I nod my head agreeing to his words, as long as I get to be with him, I'll go where ever he takes me.

He takes hold of my hand and leads us further inside the jungle, I follow him in a trance, staring at his flexing back everytime he moved a branch from his way to the side.

He was only in black loose shorts, he must have changed after he shifted back to his human skin.

We walk for a good 10 minutes until we reach a small cabin in the middle of no where. The lights inside it were brightly lit as they were streaming out from the windows but the eery silence let us know that no one was here.

Theo stopped outside the door, he pulled out a small key from his pocket and opened the cabins door with it. He moved aside, letting me enter first.

It was a small space, with an open kitchen, a small fireplace which was lit, a cream couch was sitting opposite to it. There was a four seat wooden dining table set by the kitchen, and some other minimal furniture to give the cabin a cozy vibe.

A set of wooden stairs led up to the bedroom I assume. "Sit" Theo says walking towards the kitchen, I Make my way to the couch and take a seat.

Theo brings a glass of water for me, I drink it all in one gulp, that is when I realize how thirsty I am. Theo offers me another glass and I gladly accept it.

He joins me on the sofa, we both sit in silence as we watch the crackling wood in the fireplace. Minutes pass by and I finally find myself getting a grip of reality.

What's done is done, and we need to talk about it. I can't keep crying, I've ran this god forsaken moment in my head many times but in the hopes of to never have to live it in reality.

"Theo" "Celeste" we both say in unison, making our eyes connect instantly. His gaze is fierce and determined while mine is weak and filled with pain.

I open my mouth to speak again but he beats me to it "I didn't find her" he quickly says, looking at me intently for my reaction.

I pause for a moment, unable to comprehend his words until it dawns on me, "it means she's not from the pack" he continues, I sense relief in his voice.

Is he happy because he was fearing his mate being hurt because of our relatio.. his past.

"Whether she's from the pack or not, it doesn't really matter" he shrugs in an uncaring manner, I'm left speechless by his words for a moment "W-why?" I ask hesitantly, building up the courage.

His honey eyes are quick to narrow "what do you mean by why? You know why! You're my ma.." "Theo! Stop!" I stop him instantly.

I stand up from the couch in shock "I'm not your mate Theo! stop saying that. I can't with this anymore. We should've had stopped our rendezvous long ago! Look where it led us to!" I scream in frustration.

I start to pace around to calm my raging nerves.

Theo stands up, gripping my arm harshly, stopping my movements "what the hell did you just say" he whispers in a low threatning voice, I gulp but don't back away "I said, I'm not your ma..." "You're more than a stupid mate Celeste" at this moment both my shoulders were now in his strong grip.

"You're my everything my love, you're a part of my soul. I don't need validations from a goddess to claim you as mine!" his words are filled with arrogance, my eyes widen at his blatant disrespect towards our sacred goddess.

"Theo, don't say that! You may upset the goddess, and you know that won't end well" I try to put some sense in his brain.

But he was way past the point of understanding, "I don't give a damn about her, all I care about is you!" His hands move up to cup my cheeks. 

His huge palms takes hold of them and tilt my head upwards, I stare in his honey eyes that were swirling with so many emotions. "Do you know how worried I have been for the past 2 hours? I've flipped the whole pack around searching for you! I felt as if my soul left my body when you ran away with tears in your eyes" his voice cracks, he rests his forehead on mine.

"Don't ever do that to me again or I don't know what I'll do" his grip on my cheeks tightens but not painfully.  I know he's telling the truth but this can't keep going forever.

I love our close proximity but I can't do this, it's wrong. My brain has now started to function properly and I know what I need to do.

I gently take hold of his hands and pull them away, Theo looks at me with furrowed brows, I step back from him looking everywhere but him.

"When are you leaving?" I ask with a heavy heart. "Leaving? What- where?" He tilts his head in confusion. I look up at him, straight in his eyes "to find your mate" I say flatly, willing myself to be stronger.

A myriad of emotions pass by his face, anger being the most noticeable "never" he answers straight away without missing a beat. "You need to go and search for her Theo" my eyes are running over his face in a frenzy.

I'm getting a bad feeling from him, "why do I need to search for her? when she's standing right in front of me" oh how I wished those words of his to have been be true at this moment.

I take in a deep breathe, preparing myself to explain everything to him. "It's not your fault Theo" I start, his face instantly morphes into confusion.

"Neither it is mine, it's our families. It's because of them we're here. We could be two normal best friends, but since we were kids, it was fed in our brains that we were destined mates just because we loved to spend time together."

"It could have been because we understood each other better or we just enjoyed the same games, everyone could have treated us like a normal pair of friends" I look away, unable to hold his intense gaze.

"The constant pairing had us believing their words, we were kids Theo, ofcourse we believed what our elders said, and now here we are suffering from the pain caused by others" I say in a distasteful manner.

"But it isn't still too late, the misunderstanding is now cleared up. We're young, we can move on. I admit it will be painful but soon our responsibilities and mates will fill the void" I nod my head as if I was explaining this to myself more than him.

I wait for his response, after a few moments of silence I get worried. I turn my gaze towards him only to step back in fear.

Theo was standing there with his eyes now completely turned black, he was breathing heavily, his muscles were strained. He was ready to explode.