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Chapter 13 : Strike Three

Penulis: Claire Wilkins
last update Terakhir Diperbarui: 2024-10-29 19:42:56
*Jane*

“I think not,” I say, folding my arms resolutely. Rachel sighs in exasperation.

“Oh, come on, Jane. It’s a totally great idea,” she insists.

“I’m not a lingerie kind of girl, Rach. You know that,” I remind her.

“Yeah, well, it’s not exactly regular circumstances is it?” We’re lazing about in the cafeteria between classes, and my friend is staunchly trying to convince me to buy a 'welcome home' gift for Noah. But it’s not really my comfort zone, which is something Rachel knows full well.

The thought of putting myself out there like that is scary.

“Okay, backtrack. Why aren’t you into the idea? You have the body for it. You’ve worn sexy clothing before. What’s the big deal?” she asks, genuine curiosity in her voice.

I debate on whether or not I should just verbalize my stream of consciousness to Rachel, considering I myself am not completely certain why I feel the way that I do. But I know that Rachel has never judged me and that if I really refuse to do
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    *Noah*I really am one stupid son of a bitch. I knew that even as I watched Jane leave my apartment, taking a piece of my heart with her. I knew that if I followed her it would just make things worse, but staying back and letting her go was harder than it should’ve been. I didn’t want her to be here, not when I’m feeling this shitty. It feels like a never-ending battle, this constant tug of war between letting my career consume me just enough to be the best at it, and not letting it consume me entirely. There's a fine line between the two and I'm scared that I’m making Jane walk it with me, no matter how hard I try to keep her out of it. But the look of utter brokenness on her face when she left haunts me. I don’t know what to do.I thought sleeping alone would be the best choice for me, but when night comes and I lay there in my empty bed, all I can see is Jane’s pretty green eyes, and I cuss myself out for causing the tears in them that I know she was fighting b

  • Catching Jane   Chapter 15 : Paying the Dues

    *Jane*I still haven’t gotten over being kicked out of Noah’s apartment. Yeah, it was a huge knock to my ego considering the amount of effort I put into trying to give him a great welcome-back gift. But more than that, I can’t handle the constant emotional minefield outbursts. I’m not cut out for handling that sort of thing over and over again. Still, I can’t stop myself from missing him. I hate that despite everything he does that pisses me off so badly, I can’t quite get to the point of not caring about him. It’s not like I can just turn off my feelings, no matter what he says or does. It’s a vulnerability that terrifies me, so much so that I ignore every single one of his attempted calls and messages. I don’t want to hear any of that because I don’t trust myself not to cave, and the hurt is still too raw for me to just give in to him again. But when I make my way to my data analytics class, who else is waiting just outside the lecture hall with an apologetic l

  • Catching Jane   Chapter 16 : Game Day

    *Jane*It’s the first practice I attend where I’m actually early enough to see the whole thing. Rachel wanted to join but had a morning class she couldn’t skip. I watch with fascination as their coach runs the team through a series of light drills, much less intense than the other few sessions I’ve caught and I can only assume it’s because they actually have a game today. I try to keep things neutral, observing the whole team, but my eyes involuntarily go to Noah. I end up following him the entire session, watching as he goes through his training and admiring the way his body looks as he moves around the field. It hasn’t been that long since I’ve been in his arms, but there’s a pang of longing that strikes me. It’s strange and I don’t like it, and to distract myself I look around the bleachers to see who else has come to watch the Bulldogs practice. There are quite a few other students, some are probably here to support their boyfriends on the team, but most are just

  • Catching Jane   Chapter 17 : Blast From the Past

    *Jane*I’ve never been happier that Rachel had plans I wasn’t part of because I’m not saying no to anything Noah does to me and we get the room all to ourselves. The time we spent apart since the last time we were really together, excluding the strained session we had in his shower a few days ago, seems to only have intensified the desire we have for each other. This is the Noah I know, the one whose kisses draw me in and keep me tethered to the moment just as much as they take me out of my head and send me flying. This is the touch I’m familiar with, the one that’s desperate to feel more of me. This is the greed I’m used to.Every brush of his mouth against mine sends my pulse racing. His hands find their way under my jersey—his jersey—and he pulls back enough just to look at me wearing it one last time before he rips it off of me. I’m just as eager to get his clothes off, but I want to prolong this for as long as I can. I back him up against the door, bunching m

  • Catching Jane   Chapter 18 : Future Horizons

    *Jane*At first, I’m frozen, not really sure how to react. But I soon realize that this new girl has held out her hand to me in greeting and that I’ve just completely zoned out. My initial response is to slap her hand away, for some or other reason. But I don’t.“I’m sorry, what?” I ask, and she smiles patiently at me. “My name’s Jessica. And you are… ?” she asks and I shake her hand.Despite her kind words, something about her just rubs me up the wrong way. I can’t quite put my finger on it, even though there’s no reason for me to be feeling like this.“Jane,” I tell her, hoping none of the bitterness that fills my mouth when I introduce myself is audible in my voice.“It’s nice to meet you, Jane.” She turns back to face Noah with a fond look on her face. “I also just wanted to wish you luck for the rest of the season, Noah. I know how this time of the year can be for you.”Noah nods curtly in acknowledgment but still doesn’t look too happy to see her. He pul

  • Catching Jane   Chapter 19 : The Build-Up

    *Jane*“So she has the audacity, as Noah’s ex, to act all friendly with you,” Rachel confirms, touching up her makeup in the mirror. I throw the last of my books into my bag, checking the time to make sure we’re not going to be too late. I’m planning to stop at the Bulldogs’ practice session for the last bit just before I head off to class. Rachel and I both crawled back into our dorm room at an ungodly hour this morning. This meant that both the boys were most likely also going to be at least slightly late for their practice. It also meant that last night was a great night for both of us. For all her talk of me having a noticeable afterglow, I didn’t miss Rachel’s own bright spark in her eyes and her wild hair when I saw her for the first time earlier. She’d merely smirked at me, a knowing look on her face. But the second we began to debrief each other and the topic of Jessica came up, all playfulness left the conversation and Rachel became both intrigued and annoyed. S

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    *Jane*I’m so used to heading over to Noah’s that I immediately recognize the route to his apartment. He doesn’t say anything on the way there. He looks pensive, so wrapped up in his own thoughts that I begin to worry about what this big talk is really about. But upon closer inspection, he doesn’t look exactly worried. There’s a slight hint of nervousness maybe, but he has this tiny smile nestled in the corner of his mouth, as though he’s picturing something that’s making him happy. It’s so entrancing that I don’t realize I’m staring at him, like an idiot. I only figure this out when he turns to look at me, and that serene expression morphs into a cocky smirk, prompting me to snap my head back to stare out onto the road ahead. “Something on your mind?” he asks, finally breaking the silence. “Less than you, apparently,” I say, my cheeks burning bright at being caught mooning over him. “A hint about tonight would actually be kind of nice of you, you know.”“It’s

  • Catching Jane   Chapter 21 : Doubt

    *Jane*For the first time ever, Noah and I drive to his morning practice together. He lends me a jersey to wear over my dress and it makes for a decent outfit which I figure I’ll just change out of on my way to class. But I like it—I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of wearing his clothes. It’s like a silent announcement to the world that he’s mine. Noah seems to be in an excellent mood today, one that carries over even into his practice session. It’s the first time I watch the full thing and I have to admit that I don’t get it. I mean, I understand that all athletes have to train hard to maintain and improve their athleticism, and I get that baseball is a very physical sport. But there’s something about Coach Parker that just rubs me up the wrong way. Noah doesn’t speak of him too fondly, and now having witnessed his training sessions from start to finish, I can understand why.The man is harsh. While I can’t say anything about the drills, it bothers me more w

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    *Jane*When I wake up, I wake up alone. It puzzles me how short an amount of time it took for that loneliness to feel so unfamiliar. But then again, Noah and I have spent every single night together for the past month, so I guess it’s not that strange. New habits form quickly. But I still hate the emptiness of the bed, how cold it feels without another body laying next to me. I’m still meant to be pissed off though, so I shake all thoughts of Noah’s arms from my mind and head into the en suite shower. The sun is just barely piquing the horizon, but I can’t sleep anymore. As the hot water runs over my body, I think about how I’m going to go around facing him today. It’s bound to be uncomfortable. Plus, we’re stuck in the Airbnb together between games, so unless he’s decided to run off in the middle of the night half-drunk, I know that I’m going to have to face him sometime this morning. I put on one of the bathrobes hanging off the rack and stick my head out t

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    *Jane*I find my way back to the Airbnb by myself. I head straight for a shower, wanting to wash off the sweat and vibes of the afterparty from my skin. It was the first time I felt so … invisible. Usually, I could rely on Noah to always try and make me feel comfortable. But tonight just seemed like it was all about him. I get changed into my pajamas, then crash into bed with the book I haven’t finished reading yet. I pretend as though I’m taking anything in.“Baby?” Noah’s slurred voice calls out two hours later. I can hear as he barely manages to shut and lock the door behind him, and I’m surprised that he was able to find his way back here at all. I don’t move from my spot on the bed and I don’t even bother putting the book I’m reading down. I’m pissed. I’ll admit that. I know I wanted him to be able to enjoy his win with his teammates and fans and be able to focus on something other than his father but still… The fact that he was willing to let me walk out of

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    *Jane* “Hello? Have I seriously been having a conversation with myself this entire time?”With a small shake of my head, I bring myself back to the present. Rachel’s looking at me with a raised eyebrow and knowing smile, her hand outstretched palm side up like she’s waiting for something.“Sorry, what?” I ask, slightly embarrassed.My thoughts had been completely overtaken by memories of last night. I kept replaying how Noah spoke to me through it, how he held me, and how his body felt against mine. I’d completely lost track of where I was. Rachel was over at our Airbnb, getting ready with me for the big game today while the boys went off to the stadium. But I’d evidently been so distracted, that I hadn’t realized she’d been speaking to me the entire time. “Your eyeliner,” she says. “I asked if I could borrow it.”“Oh, yeah. Sure.” I hand it over, but the look on her face doesn’t change. “What?”“You know exactly what. I take it the date went well last night.

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    *Noah*“And that does it folks, the Billmore Bulldogs are headed to their first College World Series!”The announcer’s words ring in my head over and over, swirling around like water down a drain as I replay the broadcast. It doesn’t feel real. None of this feels real. I made it. I actually made it. This is by far the biggest step of my career so far, and I can’t seem to wipe the smile off my face when I think about it—which is almost all the time. It’s a funny thing, reaching a huge milestone that up until this point has always just felt like a pipe dream. Something big enough to crush your spirit when you are pulled further away from it, but still too far ahead to really bank anything on without some degree of delusional faith. And now here it is, the opportunity to catapult myself onto a proper stage. But the resting thought side by side with what feels like the culmination of all the hard work I’ve done throughout my life so far is Jane. Jane Thomas.

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