Tragedy

“Dr Lorgan, she is gone” the intern said with a shaky voice, blinking her tears from falling. The rest of the team  continued with the futile resuscitation. They had been at it for an hour and a half already yet there were no still no signs of life. The cardiac monitor was completely flat. The literature and their experience was clear on the matter. The patient was gone, there was no amount of resuscitation they could do to bring her back. They had done their utmost best, the most emotional resuscitation they have ever performed. They aught to stop and declare the time of death but no one dared pronounce the words. They would rather continue with the resuscitation until Amaya makes that decision. Judging by her actions, she was no where close to doing it.

“Dr Lorgan, stop!” Lucas shouted, restraining her blood stained gloved hands to the sides. He was alerted of the tragic accident by the hospital CEO who felt being the head of trauma unit and her ex, he was better qualified to intervene on the matter.

“She is not gone! She is not! Let go of me!” Amaya shouted, struggling to free herself but Lucas held her tighter.

“You are the best in field, no breathing, no pulse, you have performed intensive resuscitation for two hours now. What are the odds?” Lucas asked, knowing that she will get his horrible point.

“Zero, after thirty minutes the patient has either demised or brain dead which is the same” she recited the literature that guided her every day decisions, sounding more like a robot.

“It’s been two hours” Lucas responded, letting her go.

Amaya chocked before moving forward. She shined the light on her best friend’s eyes, placed a stethoscope on her chest to listen to her heart and looked at the clock ticking on the wall. “Dr Amanda (Mandy) Reed. Pupils fixed, dilated with no reaction to light, No breathing, No pulse, No heart beat. Pronounced dead at 12:45. Unnatural cause of death” she said with tears streaming down her cheeks as she pulled the white sheet over her best friend. A heartbreaking scene to the team of doctors and nurses who were unable to hold back their tears anymore. They did everything they could, given it their all like they always did. Loosing a patient was always heartbreaking but this time it was one of their own. With the highest successful resuscitation rate in the country, they sometimes forgot that they can only preserve but can never give life. Each one reminded of their own mortality and loss but none hurting like Amaya Lorgan. She now stood in front of the copse, in a daze. If this was a nightmare, it would be the worse she ever had but it was her new horrific reality. Her best friend, her family, closer to her than anyone in the world was gone. Anger and guilt mixed with grief and frustration, experienced simultaneously. She was the best in the country and top ten in the world but she could not save her own best friend.

“Give me a moment with her before you take her for a post-mortem” she said softly. The team and Lucas rushed out, the scene too much for them to bare.

Uncovering her face, she looked at her friend one more time. So peaceful, already cold, so dead “I will love you forever. Your contributions to the medical fraternity will live on, the future generation of doctors will know your name, you have my word. You rest now dear Mandy” she spoke softly before planting a kiss on her forehead and dropping to the floor.

“Dr Lorgan has collapsed!” someone shouted, sending the department into complete chaos over again.   They all knew what to do, it’s what they did every hour of everyday but it was too early after the heart wrenching loss, the morale and confidence was at rock bottom and now their head of department had collapsed. “It truly never rains but it pours”

Two hours later, Amaya opened her eyes to meet Tresh’s tender brown eyes. “Amaya, I am so sorry” Tresh said tenderly, his heart breaking. He was very fond of Mandy and could not imagine what Amaya was feeling.

Natasha, the secretary had tried to get hold of him the moment Amaya certified Mandy. Not having his phone number, she had searched directory for Daniel’s law firm number and asked him to relay the message that Amaya will definitely need him. He rushed over as fast as he could but found her sound asleep on the hospital bed. To his surprise, Lucas was the one patiently informing him of everything that happened with Amaya. Considering their last interaction, Lucas was very understanding and kind. Tresh concluded that beside being odd, something he was starting to associate with most academics, Lucas was actually a kind and decent human being.

Amaya sat up straight on the bed. She sighed, It was not a nightmare after all, her friend was really gone. A drunken driver drove through the red traffic lights straight to Mandy’s vehicle, right outside the hospital gate. An impact that killed both drivers at the scene but she could not accept that and tried her best to resuscitate her friend. The thought of it pierced through her heart. The heart monitor started beeping to signal that her heart was beating too fast. She leaned over and disabled the alarm. She did not need the damn machine telling her what she already knew. She needed it to beep like that for her friend earlier but it was all silent and flat instead.

Tresh held her hand tight, not knowing what to say to her.

The silence was broken by Lucas who came to check on Amaya. “Dr Lorgan, you are awake. Do you recall what happened earlier?” he asked taking out his pen to make a note.

“Good afternoon Dr Smith. I had a vasovagal attack. The question is why am I in a hospital bed two hours later?” Amaya asked, not impressed.

“You were sedated” Lucas informed her and braced himself for her reproof. He knew that she would recover fast from her fainting but he had no idea how to deal with her grief, in panic he sedated her to buy time for Tresh  to arrive. Natasha had informed him that she reached out to him and surprisingly he was very relieved to hear it. That was when it dawned on him that although he had known her for years and even briefly dated, there was never any emotional connection between them. He was really glad when Tresh arrived, he even forgot that they were once rivals. What was important to him was that Amaya would have a shoulder to cry on.

“For what exactly?” she snapped. She was knocked out for two whole hours, she could have used that time to plan her friend’s funeral.

Lucas sighed ‘Health care workers really did make the worst patients’ he thought. “You lost your best friend, it can’t be easy” he suggested.

“Denial, Anger, Bargain, Depression and Acceptance. Those are the stages I must go through. No amount of sedation will help with that” she snapped.

Tresh watched the two obviously brilliant people in the room with interest. When he arrived, Lucas was confidently commanding everyone, the hospital staff jumped at his every command but here in front of Amaya, his confidence seemed to falter. The whole scene spoke volumes about Amaya’s hierarchy in the hospital.

“I am discharging you Amaya but you need to take it easy. The CEO has given you two weeks and more should you require it” Lucas explained, ignoring her tone.

“I can not stay away that long, my team needs me” Amaya cried. She needed to keep working and keep herself busy to numb her heartache.

“They do but after you have healed. Your team will be going for bereavement counselling as well” he informed her, standing his ground. He truly believed that it was for her own good.

“I don’t need two weeks!” she exclaimed. She had never stayed away from work that long. She had a backlog of unclaimed leave, that was why the hospital CEO insisted that she took the time off.

“You don’t have a choice, your hospital access has been blocked for two weeks. It’s for your own good” Lucas explained.

“That’s ridiculous! I can’t just abandon my duties!” she exclaimed, the idea of being sedentary for two weeks was horrifying. Planning Mandy’s funeral would take her at most a day. She would definitely not be in any mood to go out without her best friend.

“You trained the team well Amaya, they will call if they need advice but you need to stay home and heal” Lucas explained patiently.

“That won’t bring Mandy back, nothing in the world can” she said softly, tears streaming down her cheeks.

Tresh winced at her words, blinking his own tears back.

“I am truly sorry for your loss” Lucas said sincerely before leaving Amaya with Tresh.

“Do you want me to contact Mandy’s family?” Tresh asked when they arrived at Amaya’s house.

“I am, I was her only family and she mine” she responded softly, barely audible.

Tresh sighed wondering how life could be so unfair and cruel. He had done a background check on Amaya and discovered that she grew up at an orphanage home from age eight after her parents were murdered in a hijacking. That’s where she met Mandy who had never met her parents because she was given up for adoption when she was born. The two beat the odds and became well accomplished specialists in the medical field. It was just unfair that after that upbringing Mandy was gone without enjoying all the fruits of her dedication and Amaya lost her friend, the only family she had.

“No one will ever take Mandy’s place in your heart but I promise you that I will be your family. You will never feel alone, I give you my word” Tresh said, pulling her to his arms.

That night, Amaya lay on Tresh’s chest, tears freely rolling down her cheeks. The following day, she planned her friend’s funeral. Tresh offered to have everything organised for her but Amaya wanted to plan everything herself. Mandy’s funeral was as emotional as her death. Condolences poured in from her patients and colleagues with messages all resonating the warm loving human being she was. The eulogy by her best friend left everyone weeping. Tresh never left Amaya’s side throughout. Amaya discovered just how draining grief could be, two weeks had passed and she was nowhere close to being ready to face the same environment she last saw her friend. It took a lot of convincing for her to finally return to work but she found herself agitated all the time. The first day back at work, Amaya went crazy when she discovered that in just a month the hospital had already appointed someone else in Mandy’s position and the new appointee could not wait to clear Mandy’s stuff and take over her office. Amaya had made a scene, even threatened to resign until the new appointee decided to leave the office alone and share with someone else.

“What do you think Mandy would have preferred to happen, Amaya?” Tresh asked when she relayed to him the events of her day. He recognised that Amaya was still hurting and not thinking straight.

“She was irritatingly practical” Amaya responded, realising how irrational she was being. “Fine, I will go and clear Mandy’s belongings tomorrow” she conceded.

“I will come with you” Tresh offered, knowing that the process would definitely be very emotional for Amaya.

“You have done enough. I have taken too much of your time already” Amaya said, feeling guilty. Tresh had spent most of his time with her without complaining. She knew that he was loosing a lot of money in the process.

“Believe me there is nothing else I would rather do” he said charmingly, warming her heart.