Chapter 3

“I really don't wanna go, mom!” Matsyaa whined like a kid and made Gauri roll her eyes. The affection of her cousins and eldest uncle after such a long time infected her judgment. She knew in the back of her mind that her mother was right but she refused to accept it. She held her mother's palm and pouted, “Mumma, can't you figure out an arrangement that doesn't make me go back? I'll be so alone there.”

Gauri exhaled deeply and eyed Matsyaa with dismay. “We decided it, honey. You'll have to go back. Unfortunately, your dad has to be here for a year or two but someone has to go back to manage things in our absence. And, you have college to finish. Do you wanna give up on your degree just because you're homesick?"

Matsyaa nipped on her lower lip, mulling on her mother's words. Gauri observed her for a moment and got up from the bed to give her a quick hug, "We'll be back soon. I'll try to visit you once in a month, okay? And as soon as your exams finish, you can come here for a break. The boys are gonna be busy in the office soon, so you'll be sitting at home eventually, getting bored. In fact, I don't know how I'll adjust here. It's been thirty years.”

Gauri shook her head and Matsyaa pitied her mother. Gauri never got the recognition from Rathores because Matsyaa's father married her against his father's desires. The couple eventually shifted to England for good. When Matsyaa was born, the family finally warmed towards them and welcomed them. However, the rift between them could never be filled.

Matsyaa smiled at her mother, cheering her up. “I'm sure you'll do great. Aunts are nice, I mean they've been welcoming to us, to you, and I know you'll mingle with them just like that!" She snapped her fingers. Gauri scoffed dryly, rolling her eyes. “Thanks.”

“So when am I leaving?” Matsyaa asked with a flash of her eyebrows. Gauri shrugged her shoulders, “Ask your dad.”

“Okay!” Matsyaa was about to leave when Anup entered the room, holding a file in his hands. Surprise flickered in his brown eyes, “Matsyaa, what a pleasant surprise to see you! Where have you been these days, honey?"

Matsyaa rolled her eyes at her father's derision. “Ha. Ha. Very funny, dad.”

“Not my fault when I won't find you in the line of my vision these days. You're always busy with the boys. I feel like I've lost my daughter,” Anup was a kid at heart at the age of fifty and Gauri eyed him with such disgust as if she couldn't believe she was married to this man. Matsyaa snickered and hugged her father, “I miss you, too, dad. But you've been busy lately and I didn't want to disturb you. Did you miss me too much?”

“Well, good news, he survived.” Gauri spoke from behind her and put the pillows in place, her lips lifting on the sides. Anup totally ignored her cheeky wife and focused on his daughter, “So, beautiful, what have you been doing in my room so late? Do you need something?”

“Oh, no. I was just here to talk to mom about going back. When do I leave?”

Anup frowned at her question, “I thought you wanted to stay!”

“Yeah, but mom is right. Someone has to be there to look after everything, so…” Matsyaa finished with a shrug. Anup looked at Gauri over Matsyaa's shoulder who shifted uncomfortably. He removed his glasses and put them on the bedside drawer along with the file, “You don't have to worry about anything, Matsyaa. If you wanna stay here, you will.”

“But she can't.” Gauri hissed, throwing daggers at him over her shoulder. Anup didn't bother to look at her and talked to Matsyaa, “Right now, you'll have to write an application to your department and ask for short-term leave. We'll discuss things later."

“Anup…” Gauri tried again and he studiously ignored her, still talking to Matsyaa. “I'll talk to the dean, if there's any problem with the leaves.”

Observing everything, Matsyaa nodded in obedience. She could touch the tension in the room. She could see the flames of anger radiating out of Gauri and trying to burn Anup alive. They'd have a heated argument after she left, for sure. So, she bid them a quick 'goodnight' and left for her room.

'What could be the reason behind mom's anger?' She wondered and before she could have her answers, someone jumped right in front of her, wearing a monster mask. Her instinct worked immediately and she kicked the man in his groin.

“Fuck! Holy muffins,” Arush groaned in pain, twisting on the floor in an embryo position. Matsyaa widened her eyes and rushed to help him up, “I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I didn't… I don't know if it was you, Arush. I'm really sorry, bro.”

She winced when he clutched his crotch and sat up, removing the mask with a jerk. He glared at her incessantly and before she could mutter more apologies, two figures loomed out of pillar, howling in laughter. Ved patted her back, “Good job, Matty!”

“What… but?” She was so confused. What the hell was happening? Prem survived from his fit of laughter, rolling beside Arush and grinned at her, “This hufflepuff wanted to see if you remembered the ninja tricks big brother taught you.”

“What!” Matsyaa squinted at Arush who was still glaring at her, “You should wait for the person to attack before kicking him at such a sensitive spot, pig.”

“Hey, don't call her that!” Prem thumped a whacking smack on Arush's back and Ved curled his arm around Matsyaa in a protective gesture, looking down upon Arush with a smirk. “I taught her to be active and not give the other person any chance. She did a good job. Come on, get up now. I know it's not hurting you that much.” He extended a hand for Arush to grab who pulled on his feet and twisted his lips like a child.

“You guys always take her side,” He complained. Even though Matsyaa was the same age as him, he was at the disadvantage of being another male in the family. She was the first girl child born in five generations, so everyone was always favoring her. Arush did the same but hated to speak it loud.

“That's because he loves me the most,” Matsyaa hugged Ved and stuck her tongue out at Arush. Prem wrapped an arm around his kid brother and cheered him, “Forget it. I'll give you an ice pack. Wanna have a movie marathon?”

“Me too!” Matsyaa raised her hand and both the boys made faces at her before they pulled her into the group. The cousins spent the night having so much fun together that Matsyaa was momentarily distracted from what was wrong between her parents.

The morning carried over Anup and Gauri's ill mood to the breakfast table. The couple was acting normal but Matsyaa knew they're anything but normal. And the bomb stopped ticking when Upesh asked about her plans, “So, Matsyaa, what's your decision? Anup said you've applied for a month's leave. Are you staying for the next month?”

“Um, yeah, I… I'm yet to figure it out, uncle. I'm waiting for the confirmation mail. Let's see what happens,” She smiled to ease the environment and Upesh nodded, “Good. It's good to have you here for a while. You don't visit us often. I'd like you to stay for more than a month, but I'm not sure if your mother's okay with that.”

And the direct hit bristled Gauri. She fisted her palms under the table and spoke in a calm yet determined voice. “I'm not doing it for myself, bhaisaab. Matsyaa has her classes, her internship and exams in two months. I just don't want to hamper her career because of family issues!”

“You're being paranoid, Gauri. There's some of the world's renowned universities in India as well. She can continue her degree here,” Asha, Upesh’s wife, inserted smoothly. Matsyaa didn't like her mother being cornered but her father handled it before the matter grew out of hand.

“I don't see the need to discuss this over and over again. We've more pressing issues. She has taken a month's leave and let her enjoy that time, after that she can decide what she wants to do, right?” He looked at Matsyaa who nodded instantly, “Right. In fact, I'll use this one month to search for the local private schools where I can get a short time course which corresponds to my degree. I can both continue to study here and go back to submit the papers.”

“Sounds good!” For a change, everyone hummed to her idea. She released a sigh of relief and Upesh insisted, “I know the dean of the university. He's a great friend of mine. Why don't you meet him for the insights? I'll invite him to our home tomorrow. What do you say?”

“Dad, why don't I take her to the university? She'll meet the dean and see the campus to make her mind. She's been staying in since she's come over, so it will be a good change for her as well.” Ved proposed and Matsyaa jumped at his offer, “That'll be great. I'll be ready tomorrow. I think I'll go to other universities if I don't like the place. Mom's right about it, though. I can't compromise my career. It's my junior year, so I'm allowed to have supplementary courses that add up to the final marks.”

Matsyaa looked at her mother with a flash of her eyebrow and Gauri sighed, reciprocating her smile. "Alright, but be careful, I still don't have a good feeling about it.”

“Fret not, mom. A big, bright future is always waiting for me.” She giggled and everyone hummed, doting on her.

***

"Why aren't you going to attend Parikshit's engagement?" Padma asked, walking along with Ranvijay. It was a routine. A walk after the dinner with some deep conversation and they were good to last for a week. Ranvijay didn't stay at Kumud Mehal, so Padma made extra efforts to know every minute detail of his life.

He was a very private person. Secretive, in a proper way, and that scared her the most because it's never the violent waves that terrify the sailors, it's actually the silent sea which spooks them. Ranvijay's mind was the ocean. Calm and peaceful on the surface, but hiding so many labyrinths, ditches, trenches and icebergs underneath; all of them deadly to a sane person.

When his cold blue eyes flashed with a look akin to loathe, Padma knew she'd hit the right nerve. Without him answering her, she went on and concluded, adding little advice of her own. “You should go, Ranvijay. He's Vijayata's father. She'll feel bad.”

“She doesn't care about him and I don't care about her,” He finally spoke in the same calm tone, looking at the endless green lawn.

“Don't say that! She's going to be your fiance. Why would you disrespect her?” Padma snubbed him and he shook his head, flashing a brief look at his cousins talking animatedly with their mother. A pang tightened his chest but he got the grip and reverted to the conversation, “I'm not marrying her, Nani maa.”

“So who do you wanna marry? Tell me! I'll talk to your grandfather. I'm sure he'll be fine with whatever you decide. Just tell me if there's anyone.” Padma insisted. Ranvijay closed his eyes, his forehead creasing. His head had begun to drum with pain lately. He was already in the middle of a lot of things and the talks of marriage were making his headache worse.

“I don't wanna talk about it, please. Can we go back to you telling me about how your husband fought the insurgency? That was surely interesting.” He exhaled softly. Padma sighed at his stubborn attitude. He would act like an orangutan.

“Well, I don't know how he managed to do that back in the 80s. I'm failing to do it with a mere twenty eight years old even after living four decades after him.” She grumbled and Ranvijay laughed openly. His rich, fruity laughter filled the air around them.

“But seriously? Am I ever going to see my grandchildren? Or will you let me die without having the chance to meet them?” She nagged like a child of five and Ranvijay sighed, pointing at Shekhar who was still with his mother at a distance, talking about something. “You should ask him. If I give you a child, which I can very easily, the entire family will force you to remove me from my position of a crown prince!”

Padma didn't find it funny and pressed her lips thin, “That they will, if you don't give us a child.”

“And that's not enough to threaten me.” He muttered firmly and stopped. He turned to face Padma with a straight look, “I don't care what they want. I'm here because I have to, because I'm supposed to and because… I'm bound to. You know how much I loathe the crown and the throne. But there's one thing that I loathe more than the crown. It's marriage and you know that. I'm not going to get married, Nani maa.”

“Ranvijay, it's not compulsory that all the marriages will…” Padma tried to placate him but he was adamant on his views like he had seen it coming. “You're underestimating my blood. I'm staying with you, but I'm still a Sisodhia. We aren't made for a family. Even if it's not Vijayata, I'm still not going to marry. You will never get a child out of me.”

“The clan won't accept it. The people won't accept it. You've a state to look after. How will they accept you as their King if they know that there's going to be a battle after you? They want security. Only your child can give them that reassurance that you'll look after them, and put their ambitions first. It's not obligatory but you've chosen to do this. It's the weight of the crown, Ranvijay.”

A lump stuck in his throat and he pushed it down, clenching his jaw tightly. The crown had already shackled him. It had already turned his loved ones against him, and the damn crown wanted him to uproot his life in a more vicious way?

Not happening.

“I've a meeting with the dean tomorrow. I'm leaving for home now. Good night, take care of yourself.” He ate the words he was itching to spat and kissed his maternal grandmother's forehead before stepping back.

As he turned to leave, something stopped him from going ahead and he looked at Padma over his shoulder, “If the weight of the crown is going to push me down, I'll rather be crushed alone than have someone enter this swamp and help me. My decision is final. I accept the crown. Now it's time for the crown to accept me.”