Chapter 1: Losing

The wind blew so softly and the peacefulness of the surroundings just added a gloomy and emotional sentiment in her feelings. Sitting in the same hammock in between the two coconut trees where she and her Mom used to lie down in the same spot always brings her to tears. It has been 2 months since she passed but the pain is still in her heart. The house has never been the same after she was gone. She could still remember the last words she told her before she left.

"I want you to be happy and always stay strong. I want you to grow to be a beautiful, smart, kind, and brave woman in the future. Reach your dreams and be who you are. Always remember that you are the best thing that happens to me. I wished to see you grow and see you finish college but I guess my time is about to come. I may leave this world but I'll guide and will always stay by your side. Do not forget that sweetheart..."

She couldn't help to cry every time she thought of those last words her mom told her. Remembering the suffering of her Mom in the hospital and how she fight and tried her best to survive, she knew she has always been a strong woman and she admire her for that. She never lose hope and she didn't even blame God for her disease. She was diagnosed with leukemia and she fought until the end. She undergoes a lot of treatment and operations but nothing happens. Leukemia is a traitor disease. It will attack you in pull you down to death.

Her mom was the kindest and strongest beautiful person she have ever seen in her existence. It never occurred to her that she had been suffering from such an illness for a long time. She just found out these past 8 months when she was admitted to the hospital. Her Mom stayed 6 months in the hospital for treatments and medications. And there, she saw how she strongly fought the battle of her life. She was there and never left her in her weak moments. She stayed with her to show how much she love her and she witnessed how her body slowly weaken until she no longer absorb the treatments and medication. And just 2 months ago, she passed and rest completely.

Sometimes, she finds herself wishing that it wasn't real. Lying in bed every night crying nonstop and waking up in the morning still feeling the same pain, make her wanna wish to die. She badly misses her every day. Losing a parent at an early age was so hard. Many people said she was a strong kid but they never know what she truly feels inside. They don't know that deep inside, she is secretly wishing to come with her and that faith will soon end her life as well. Her Mom was her teacher and her best friend. She just don't know if she can lead life now that she was gone.

"There you are! I've been looking for you everywhere." She immediately wiped her tears when she heard the voice of his father that suddenly took her attention.

"I knew then that I will find you here. Are you crying again?" Worries and concerns are obvious in his father's voice.

"Still missing your mom?" Her father asked.

Not a day goes by she doesn't miss her and it gets stronger as it last. She answered him with a sad nod. She knew her father has been worrying about her for the past few days. She was trying to be strong though. She knew her Mom will never be happy if she saw her being like this. She told her to be strong and brave and that's what she has been trying to do even though God knows how hard it is. She might be gone but her existence and memories will remain forever in her heart.

"Come, I have a surprise for you. I want you to meet someone. You'll gonna love her." She couldn't understand but her father's tone was quite excited and seemed happy. That gave her the curiosity to find why?

He pulled her hand to help her to stand. Wondering what her Dad's talking about, they walked towards the house and went to the living room as she followed his father's steps. Her forehead automatically knotted in curiosity when she saw a tall and fine-looking woman wearing a red dress sitting on one of the sofas in their living room. The woman's lips plastered a wide smile the moment she saw them coming.

"Gav, I want you to meet Chelsea, your new Mom!" His father happily stated.

She got stunned with the sudden revelation as her eyes immediately flew to his father's face seeking an explanation. How could her father be so insensitive? Her Mom just passed two months ago and she was still grieving for her. They were supposed to be grieving for her but here he is, showing and introducing a new partner? Sudden disappointment and a tinge of sulk and anger to her father filled her chest.

"D-Dad...." Uneasiness and awkwardness filled the air. Sudden silence but an obvious defiance shows in her face.

"You must be surprised, darling. I heard a lot from your Dad that you are a smart and sweet kid. I think I'm gonna love you, sweety." The woman endearingly told her.

She has a sweet voice and a beautiful white face. She had never seen such a pretty face like her, no wonder her Dad chose her as a new partner. She kept her silence for she doesn't know what to say. She was against their relationship but she don't want to be disrespectful or disappoint her Dad by saying she don't want a new Mom. She could also feel the switching glances of the two mature people in front of her and her thoughts are going deep upon the situation.

"You're not happy?" His father asked. Disappointment was very obvious in his voice and that made her guilty somehow.

She wanna ask her Dad if he has already forgotten her Mom to easily find a new partner or did he ever love her though? She was not stupid nor careless but she was aware that her parents weren't sweet and romantically attached. They used to be formal with each other though she has never seen them have fought or have arguments before. At an early age, she was not dumb to realize that her parent's relationship was not in a good or normal condition. Staring now at his father, no wonder it was so easy for him to replace her Mom. Her look contains a lot of questions but she tried to remain silent. She just couldn't have the guts to ask her father what's weighing on her mind.

"Listen, baby, I know you love your Mom so much and it's hard seeing you like this for the past few days, but you see we can't be like this forever. I can't raise you alone and you need a Mom who can watch you over when I'm not around." Her father tried to explain as he came closer to her. He held her shoulder then gently lifted her chin up.

"Robert, please bear with your child, dear. We might have shocked her." The woman understandingly stated.

"Hey sweety, I know I can never replace your Mom on your heart but I want you to know that you can treat me like your second Mom, you know." She did not bother to answer the woman. She doesn't intend to disrespect her but she just couldn't find the words she should respond to.

"I know you're not ready yet but I'm willing to wait until you can accept me. You can tell me your habits and favorite things to do and I'm more than happy to hang out with you." Looking at the woman, she could see she was a whole lot younger than his Dad. She was beautiful, tall, and had a slender body. She has pretty eyes, a caucasian complexion, and long and shiny blonde hair. She looks generous and doesn't look arrogant and hostile like the evil stepmothers she was imagining in the fairytale books she had read but she was still a stranger for her so they can't expect to like her immediately do they?

"Is that okay with you?" The woman asked. She nods silently as an answer to the woman. If she was being approached as kind as this, who is she to refuse though?

"How about starting to call me Mom? Would that be okay with you?" Her eyes automatically traveled to her father's eyes giving him a sign of disapproval.

She was not ready to call someone Mom except her own Mom. Would it make her a bad girl if she refuse this time? She only have one mother and she was the only one entitled she should call that term. Would it be okay if she can only call him Aunt? She was not my real mother anyway.

"Okay, I understand. I'll just wait for the time you can call me Mom." The woman just decided to tell her then sweetly caressed her head. She don't intend to be rude or bad but deep inside her, she was sure that would never happen. She can only call one Mom for this lifetime for she only has one. She wanted to keep it that way as respect to her beloved Mom.

That same night, her father went to her room and talked to her seriously. She was about to sleep and waiting for the milk she asked on the maid when her father knocked and entered her room. To her surprise, it was her father who brought her the milk instead of one of their housemaids.

"Hi, sweetheart! I brought you your favorite milk before bedtime sleep." Her father stated cheerfully.

He used to be sweet with her although she was closer to her Mom. She was aware also that her Dad was trying his best to be a good father, especially after what happened to her Mom. He used to spoil and gratify her caprices even at an early age but she was more attached with her mom because she was always with her. She might be just a thirteen-year-old girl now but she thinks maturely than her age. That was what her mom usually told her. Truth is, she no longer wanted to be treated like a little girl anymore. Life taught her to act maturely. Losing her mom at an early age and trying to accept his father's new partner is an act of being mature. She was no longer a kid anymore. It's time to be selfless and act maturely.

His Dad was a good father and a good provider. They were rich alright, and that's because his father is a hard-working businessman. Her mother taught her to be humble and be grateful for what she has. Because of her, she was a brave and mature person. Well, she was well aware that her father will not visit her in the room if not for a purpose. Wondering what it is, she took the glass from his father's hand and drank it. She could feel her father's glance as if he has something to say but she pretended like she has no idea at all. She put the emptied glass on her bedside table and thanked her Dad in a sluggish tone.

"Are you upset?" Her father's asked.

She met his Dad's eyes then shook her head as an answer. She couldn't help to stoop her head and hide the tears that is now starting to come out of her eyes. She was not upset, that's the truth. Yes, maybe she got surprised. He cannot just bring a woman and introduce him as her new Mom and expect her to be happy, wouldn't he? It's just after two months when her Mom passed and then he will bring a woman in the house telling her she's going to be her new Mom? She understood that he will get married again soon.  Look for a new partner soon and she wouldn't be against it but too early as this? She just couldn't help to sulk and get disappointed. But as his child and because she loves him and she was trying not to be selfish, who is she to stop him from getting married to be happy? She understands him but this was all too sudden for her. She just never expected it to be that early. She got disappointed, yes. She wanna know if didn't he love her Mom that much to easily forget her and find a new partner so easily?

"I know you're upset, baby. Listen, Chelsea is a good woman. You'll gonna love her." Her Dad still tries to explain.

"I know Dad. I'm sorry for acting this way. It's just that no one can replace my Mom in my heart. I have nothing against Chelsea but.... "

"I know, I know..." Her father immediately hugged her when he saw her tears now streaming her face. She just couldn't contain her feelings anymore.

"Stop crying baby... All I'm just asking is try to get to know Chelsea better. I'm not saying you should forget your Mom but you can treat her as your second mother too?" His father pleaded. Seeing her father asking and pleading this way, who is she to oppose her father's happiness?

"Don't worry Dad. I will try to like Chelsea. She seemed to be a sweet and generous person." She tried to utter though. She indeed has nothing against that woman.  She was just so sad and she badly misses her Mom.

"She was." Her Dad immediately concluded.

"Is it okay if I'll just call her Aunt or Auntie? You have to understand that I only wanted to call my real mother as Mom and no one else should. Would that be okay, Dad?" She asked the favor for the last time. She can agree with everything her father's asking but not the latter. She loves her mother too much to bear to call another one in her image.

"Y-Yeah, sure." She noticed a bit of disapproval in her father's voice but she already made up her mind with her decision. That at least they can respect because after all, this is not easy for her but she has been trying to understand and accept the situation.

"But If you could call her Mom as a sign of respect to her, don't you think it can make Chelsea happy? I mean I'm not asking you to call her Mom immediately --"

"Dad, that's all I'm asking please..." She pleaded this time and she was sure her father got stunned at how serious her face was at the moment.

"O-Okay..." She heard him pull a long and frustrated sigh. Glad her father heard her request this time. He decided to leave her room after he bade her goodnight and kissed her on the forehead.

That night she silently cried in her bed. She was so young to lose her mother at an early age. She doesn't wanna question life but she couldn't help to ask why does she have to leave? Why there is death and why it was too painful to lose someone you deeply love? She loves and misses her so bad. She wanna ask why people like her Dad can go on with his life after losing a partner. She suddenly wonders if love is that too shallow? As much as she doesn't want her Dad to marry another woman and replace her Mom's place but who is she to deprive the happiness of her father? She misses her Mom's voice and her sweet caress. She misses everything about her. Her Dad might decide to go on his life and forget her but she will never ever do the same. She will always remain in her heart and that is a promise.