CHAPTER 44

 Beatrice’s POV.

Xander had stayed.

He sat beside the bed, in the chair, silent, watchful, a presence commanding even in stillness. His muscular build was silhouetted in the light — relaxed but poised. He hadn’t said much after he’d brought me here, just made sure I ate before letting me sleep. And he said little to nothing, but his presence was deafening. 

A thick blanket of fatigue settled on me, but the gears of my brain didn’t stop spinning. A vivid reminder of the past twenty-four hours replayed in an unending cycle, flashes of terror, the crushing force of fear, the oppressive strength of my assailant. Just thinking about it made my heartbeat quicken, a phantom grip around my throat.

I choked back the memories, trying to forget.

But the shadows crept closer.

They squirmed at the corners of my vision, warping reality, speaking in voices I couldn’t identify. My breathing grew uneven. The space felt constraining, the atmosphere thin. An invisible weight pushed down on my chest, making it more difficult to breathe, and my body tensed.

No. Not again.

Panic climbed up my throat. I could tell the walls weren’t closing in. I knew there was no one in the room besides me and Xander. But my brain rejected the idea.

My pulse banged in my ears, my hands shaking under the covers. My vision started to blur at the edges.

I needed something — someone — real to ground me.

I reached out, without thought. My fingers landed on Xander’s arm, clutching it hard, needing something solid, something real.

His body stiffened at the unexpected pleasure, but he didn’t withdraw.

“Xander…” My voice was a whisper, raw and unsteady.

His head jerked, his fierce golden eyes seizing mine. His expression softened; the usual cold edge was gone as concern flickered just below the surface. “I’m here,” he murmured.

I breathed in, then tried to steady my breath, but it didn’t work. The panic was still present, a lead weight pressing against my ribs. I squeezed his arm tighter.

“I can’t—” My words choked in my throat.

Xander sprung into action without another thought. He peeled himself out of the chair in a single smooth motion, his feet noiseless, his backward slide onto the bed next to me like silk. He sank onto the mattress next to me, and the warmth of his body radiated into mine immediately, dispersing the cold that had settled deep in my bones.

I didn’t hesitate. My fingers knotted in the fabric of his shirt as I held on, as if if I relinquished my hold, I’d slip back into the darkness. I gasped in quick, shallow fits, my heart thumping against my ribs.

Xander didn’t push me away.

Instead, he moved closer and pulled me into his powerful arms, which made the panic start to fade. His smell — leather, cedarwood, and something all his own — filled my senses, rooting me, reminding me I wasn’t alone.

“You’re safe,” he said, his voice a deep and soothing rumble.

I wanted to believe him.

I looked up to meet his gaze, and for the first time in ages, I didn’t see the cold, unreadable Lycan King. I perceived something more, something deeper. Something raw and unguarded. The way his eyes blackened, the way his fingers clutched a little firmer, as if he, as well, was fighting something unsaid.

The air between us shifted.

Now my pulse Quickened for an entirely different reason.

My fingers, still gripped in his shirt, relaxed a little. My breath slowed, matching his breath. His eyes searched mine, a wordless question suspended in the air between us.

And then it happened.

I kissed him hard; the desperation, the need, everything left unsaid.

A soft gasp escaped my lips as Xander pressed me into him, our bodies entwined as he pulled me closer still, until there was no air left between us. His lips pressed over mine with urgency, like he was trying to possess something that neither one of us fully understood. His touch sent a chill up my spine, something fluttered to life inside me.

His hand crept up my back, fingers weaving into my hair, tipping my head just right that he could deepen the kiss. A deep growl rumbled in his chest — a sound so raw and territorial that heat pooled in my belly.

I answered without thinking, hands working by themselves. One made its way up to cradle the side of his face, the bristly stubble making it way too rough underneath my palm. The other wound his bicep, noting the taut muscle under the fabric of his t-shirt.

The kiss deepened, stealing my breath, igniting every nerve in my body.

I didn’t know how long we lingered like that, wrapped up in one another, lost in the tempest of emotions we’d never allowed ourselves to feel until this moment. But when we finally tore apart, we both gasped, our chests still rising and falling in sync.

Xander’s forehead pressed against my own, his breath hot against my skin. His fingers dragged up and down my back in lazy, soothing patterns, rooting me in a way words never could.

I exhaled, slowly, my body still shaking—but not with fear this time.

“Beatrice…” Xander’s voice was rasping, caught between restraint and something very close to surrender.

I opened my mouth to respond but weariness dragged at me again, my limbs seeming to get heavier with each passing second. It was too much — the emotional weight of the night, the adrenaline crash, the warmth of his presence.

I let my lashes flutter shut, and the safety of his arms pulled me under.

Xander didn’t move.

Even as sleep took me, I knew he would still be there in the morning.

When I woke, the world was silent. The atmosphere was cool.

For an agonizingly brief, disoriented moment I did not know where I was. The heat of the blankets, the steady beat of my heart, the way my body ached, but not because of pain — it all felt alien. And then it hit me. This morning. The terror, the panic, and then … Xander.

Heat bloomed over my skin, images of our kiss seared into memory. The way he held me, the way he breathed my name like a warning and also a plea. The way I had disappeared into him, into the safety of his touch.

But now, the bed next to me was cold.

I edged toward the front, unfurling the fresh paper at my side.

You needed rest. I’ll catch you at the meeting. —X

My jaw clenched.

The meeting.

I cursed low under my breath, pushing the blankets away and swinging my legs over the side of the bed. Why hadn’t he woken me? I could have been there, on time, ready to go, and not scrambling like this. My heart raced with my standing as I thought about justifications for his absence. Was he avoiding me? Regretting what happened?

I was busy; I didn’t have time to do much elaborate preparation. The first thing I pulled out of my closet was a -red gown — simple but stunning. It clung to my figure in all the right places but wasn’t overstated. I threw my hair into a messy bun, letting a few strands fall to frame my face, and forwent makeup. There was no time.

As soon as I entered the hallway, I picked up my speed, my bare soles making almost no noise against the shiny wooden floors. The tension winding within me only intensified as the meeting hall came nearer.

When I came to the double doors, I could already hear the murmur of voices within.

I took a deep breath, rolled my shoulders back and opened them.

All eyes turned to me.

I went inside and a few whispers rippled through the room, but I ignored her. The enormous chamber was packed with high-ranking officials and pack members, all sitting in their designated spots. In the middle was a long mahogany table, lined with stacks of paper and glasses of water.

I didn’t hesitate.

“Sorry,” I said, sliding past them toward my usual seat, (no small task) trying to keep together even though their faces felt like bricks.

Once I established I was in no place to start causing a scene, the tension found a balance in the room. The meeting went on amid the chatter.

But I could feel him.

Xander locked eyes with me from across the table.

I refused to look at him.

I paid attention to the discussion instead. There were various reports, including one to do with the pack’s widening trade routes and the surprise bump in sales. It was an unusual success in an exceptionally competitive market, one that should have thrilled me.

But my mind was elsewhere.

Why hadn’t he woken me?

The meeting dragged on, and Xander hadn’t said anything. No glances, no gestures, not even a passing comment.”

By the time the panel discussion concluded, my nerves were fraying.

The audience filed out one by one, quietly muttering as they gathered their belongings. I rose slowly, my head still spinning.

And then, I felt it.

His presence.

I didn’t even need to look to know he was there.

I turned.