I feel a little better today. The nostalgia for Eric is still there, I don't think the feeling will go away, but I was able to get through many minutes without falling to my knees and crying for him; that is progress. Dr. Sloan said that one day I would make it through an hour… a day – but I only let myself hope to get there. It feels like a betrayal to dare to hope for such things. Once again, I was sitting in the fun room they used to interrogate preschoolers. This time, I don't need to say too much. I already have a lawyer taking care of that. He and Agent Kudo have been arguing back and forth for the past hour. David, my lawyer, is not very good looking, but he is very intelligent and extremely energetic. There's something hot about watching the two of them argue…or maybe I just enjoy seeing Kudo in a state of confusion. His hair was disheveled from raking his hands through his hair too much to keep himself from punching David in the face. Every now and then, he glances back at
He gave Celia my leash at the door. The room is shiny and pure white. A row of vases lay flat on the floor to my right, some large, others small. To the left is a private suite. Further on, I saw a large mosaic of a Mexican girl bathing in the open air and caressing her nipples, while a man watched from afar. It forms a backdrop for the bathroom, with a row of shower heads, floor drains, and several toilet cubicles. “What is this place, Celia?” I whisper. My voice contained both surprise and confusion. Unconsciously, I reached my hand towards Celia and she grabbed it. “Just a room, Kitten.” She leaned in close to my ear and whispered, “Everything we say is recorded. Motion sensor – microphone too.” I nodded. “Use the rest room. I need to get some towels.” After I was done with it, Celia took me to a small, private room with a curtain. There is a sink and a set of towels. A small cabinet next to the sink is filled with toiletries. "I'll clean the area between your legs." Celia pu
“Please stop,” I begged. “Please stop, I'm sorry. I swear to God, I'm sorry." Kindness was probably the last thing Eric had on his mind. He crouched down over my writhing body, pressing heavily on my shoulders to make it easier to hit while I struggled in frenzy in terror. “Please…please, Master,” I cried uncontrollably between the groans that came from my throat. I want to rub my butt, but he's already locked me up. “Does pain make things easier for you, Kitten? Does pride force you to take a beating before you obey?" His voice was low, rough - stirring. Beneath my belly, his erection throbbed. Or is it just my heart? He spanked my ass again, demanding an answer I refused to give. He slapped me again and all of a sudden, I realized that every time he hit me, he was rubbing away the pain. I wonder why, even as more hits come down. Thoughts began to crumble as I tried to get out of the situation that was happening to me. Just give him what he wants. He will stop. What did I do to des
If I focus enough, I can stand on my toes, which helps relieve the uncomfortable tension that is tormenting my shoulders and back. The pain is me, nothing else. No thoughts, no feelings, just the body demanding to be liberated. My calves twisted painfully and a cramp was forming. I put all my weight on the floor to ease the burning pain in my legs. Twisting from side to side, I hope to find a position that is less painful than the previous one. Minutes stretched into endless hours. Pain seeped into every muscle in my stretched body. I started moaning softly, then slowly getting louder with each breath. Panic inhale, panic exhale. I was very afraid of being hit. But now I'll let him hit as long as he releases me. A terrible thought passed through me. What if he wasn't even here? What if he won't come back for a long time? How could I endure this kind of torture for another hour, let alone all night? If it's night time. I tried to hold back the pain, trying to let my mind control my b
The woman screamed, her voice hoarse, the high-pitched sound that seemed to come from deep in her throat. She is shouting something. I wonder if that's his name. For some reason, that thought made me extremely angry. Here I am, right here, in this place, tied to a damn bedpost like an object while another woman screams his name. No doubt it was the intense orgasms. Yet I must call him Master. I have no right to call his name. Even at the top, which I wouldn't do if I did, that's not the point. She screams again and this time I can't stop myself from moaning his name out loud, not in ecstasy like hers, but in pain. I had never called his name before, and hadn't realized it until now. Ever since I came here, I always think about each passing day. In my head, he was Eric, always, but I never let his name escape my lips. I spoke up again, challenging myself to call his name a little louder, forcing myself to stay ahead of the competition. More aches came, they were heavy, warm and wet be
Time goes on and on. I never heard from that woman again, but often wondered what had happened to her. My life became monotonous, filled only with Eric, punishments, occasional orgasms, and endless darkness. It's been a long time since I've seen the sun, or the moon, or any light that doesn't come from a candle or a night light. I lost track of the date. Usually I can tell from the times he delivers the food, not anymore. Now that I know, Eric feeds me whatever he thinks I should, at whatever hours he thinks fit. I'm slowly losing. If only I had a little sense of time, I would be able to…don't know…do something. Eventually, I became so angry that I removed the night light from the wall and threw it as hard as I could, listening to it shatter. I almost cried for hours in the pitch-black night, afraid to take off the night light in the bathroom and move it, because I certainly wouldn't be able to find the latch. Peering through the slit under the door, I hoped to see something, but all
With deft fingers, he managed to lock my wrists between the bars of the bed. My body tensed, preparing to fight. His weight left the bed. Then I heard him undressing. This time is different. Very different. I pulled the rope. "Please, do not." I couldn't stop myself from speaking up. He prepared very slowly. I looked into the dark space around me, trying to catch his hazy form more clearly. My blood vessels throbbed in my ears and fear seemed to be in the air. His weight caused the bed to shift, and it was immediately clear to me that what was about to happen was inevitable. He pressed his bare chest against my bare back, his weight almost crushing me. “Do you want to be my lover, Kitten? Is that why you called out my name?” I struggled frantically, trying to push him off my back and tug at his bound wrists. Worse than useless. I feel him harden between my thighs. And I lay motionless. He's completely naked. He had never been completely naked before. I sobbed on the bed sheet. He d
With each passing day, I become more vulnerable than the day before. With each passing day, he robs me of more of my sense of self. And now, he's taken the last piece of it, the last piece of me. But who would that make me? A spin-off of him? A new person? I do not know. Don't want to know either. He leaned over and kissed my tears away. But he still didn't move. Taking over my body wasn't enough, he wanted to rape my mind as well. That worked. I want him to be kind to me. Kiss Me. Make it good for me. I was afraid of getting hurt, and once again sought his protection. What a mistake! And then he took me. In all my life, I have never felt anything like this. The feeling hit me, making me dizzy, as if my mind couldn't keep up with how I should react. My whole body shakes and vibrates around him as he stabs me again and again, and yet, there's a sickening pleasure still present. It rose within me and begged to be released. Will it always be like this? Would it feel like this if he to