Chapter 5

“Do you love me?” I asked him.

Ever since he found out I was pregnant, he had been nicer and more considerate towards me. He took note of my feelings and tried not to upset me or make me feel sad. His recent changes made me happy. I was beginning to feel like I truly belonged.

I felt like a true married woman, the kind that was loved by her husband. We were in the kitchen and he was making me breakfast, he had not gone to work today.

He placed the glass of orange juice on the table before me, then he returned to the eggs he was scrambling in the pan. Soon, he had my bacon and eggs placed before me and I dug in. “This is nice. Thank you.”

He nodded, saying nothing. 

I watched him as I ate my breakfast. “You did not reply me, Jaxon.”

Immediately, I saw anger coat his expression. He was trying not to show it but I saw it. My appetite reduced, was I wrong? Did he not love me as I’d thought? Or was it because of the babies? 

“What else do you want?” He inquired, taking a sip of his own coffee.

“I don’t understand.” I let my fork clatter on my plate.

“What else do you want? I make you breakfast, I buy you whatever you ask, what else do you want?!” He didn’t scream but the force with which he’d made the statement caused my heart to lurch in fear.

He had never hurt me physically but there was this fear I harbored for him. I loved him, but he scared me especially when he got angry and said mean things to me.

“I just asked a simple question, Jaxon.” I struggled to keep the tremble out of my voice.

“This is the deal, Ayla. You give me what I want and I give you what you want.”

“What deal are you talking about, Jaxon?” I did not want to go through this again. I was getting tired of these constant quarrels and arguments.

“I need children from you and you married me for the money. You have the money, as much as you need and you’re about to give me children. That was the deal.”

“But you know I love…”

“Stop it, Ayla. You know nothing about love. And like I always say, love is not a true concept. If you need anything, tell me and I’ll give it to you. You do not have to start acting like a gold digger just to get your point across.”

His words, as usual, stabbed me. It was one thing for me to love him, and I always let him know I did love him but he never took me serious and grew cold on me whenever I tried to show him or tell him. He would let out stream of hurtful words and try to make me feel stupid for confessing how I felt about him.

I would not lie, he had been giving me cash, lots of it. Financially, I was in a better position than I used to be. I could say his money had turned me into a millionaire but that was not important to me. I wanted us to be a complete family, the kind that loved one another. I wanted to raise my children in a home that they would learn how to love and treat one another.

Hailey was better now, all thanks to him. The surgery had been successful, she was alive and healing well. His money had saved Hailey’s life and for that I would always be grateful to him. But he could not give me what I wanted. It was very obvious to me now. Jaxon would never love me. Waiting for him to come to love me was like trying to turn a desert into a full fledged forest — it was mission impossible.

The best thing was to leave this marriage. That was the only thing left to do. I could not continue to do this. I wiped tears from my eyes. “Jaxon, you will never love me, will you?”

“Stop living in the world of illusion. Focus on your deal.” He angrily spat and left me in th kitchen.

Minutes later, he was out of the house. Jaxon would never change. And I did not need to keep myself bound in misery hoping and waiting. It would never work.

I got up from the table, took my barely touched meal to the sink and ran inside. I took a shower and quickly gathered my things. I had done my part by helping Hailey get better. 

Now was for me. I was going to become a mother and I would rather be single than remain with a man who saw me as nothing but a property. I would go and file for a divorce and have the papers sent to him. I’d find a secret location to hide until the papers were signed and I’d flee. 

I could not do this. I would not do this anymore. It was either now or never. I came out with my bags and luckily, there was no one around to stop me. I hurriedly carried my bags to the car he'd bought for me. I entered and zoomed out of out the compound.

One hand steered the vehicle, the other one rubbed my bulging stomach affectionately. “My dear babies, we’ll be fine. I’ll make sure I give you the love you deserve.”

Thirty minutes later, I was out of my lawyer’s office. He had assured me that he would help me run everything smoothly. I had not given him information of where I would be, I could not risk it. I knew he would be one of the first persons Jaxon might ask, if he would ask. After all, I was not important to him, just the babies.

Just the babies. I let out a heart-wrenching sob in the confines of my car as I drove far away from the life I was used to and the man that I was in love with.