CHAPTER 3

Fear

When there's no one else...

Look inside yourself...

Like a road of strangers...

Trust the voice within....

Then you'll find the strength...

That'll guide your way....

You'll learn to begin....

Trust the voice...within

(Christina Aguilera)

Ema

“Don’t I know that? I was here when he started that but that didn’t mean I wanted to be a part of it. I would have loved to be a part of that dream but I realized I wasn’t cut out for that. He was so engrossed in his work and company that I felt his absence more than I wanted to. Am sorry Em but I just can’t do it. I can’t be a part of that.”

“But Mum, I think you can be of help……” she raised her palm in a stop gesture to halt what I had to say.

“I can’t! Don’t you get it!?” she was raising her voice now…..

“You can’t or you won’t Mum?” She sat silent for a while, took a deep breath before saying, 

“I can’t…….” she now says in a whisper with a trembling voice and I wonder why. It’s so hard to understand what is going through her head….I don’t know what to think anymore. 

I think I’m wasting my time here cause she isn’t going to give me any information. When she’s ready that’s if she will be and decides she wants to tell me, and then I’ll be ready to listen and hope it won't be too late; until then…. 

“Mum, I think I’ll take my leave. It seems to me you’re not willing to tell me what you know. When you are, call me” and I was out the door before she had anything more to say. I felt so hurt and disappointed but what to do about it anyway…..just walk out and find out on my own.

Ema left prepared to investigate to find out the truth. Neither did she know that what she was getting herself in is worse than she bargained for and would have gotten out of it early on but she was already so involved and turning back now won’t make things any better. Sometimes we do things or get so curious that we tend to tell ourselves it’s for the better and we just want to help or rather make a difference and then bam! We land ourselves in bigger troubles we can’t handle and more. Sometimes, it’s better to send our curiosity down the whole for a while and let some things slide and move on. It might not be easy to move on and forget but one has to try right…stop when the warning bells start ringing.

I was so prepared to get to the bottom of this! Dad’s company can’t just fall like that but something seems fishy. I have a feeling there’s something I am missing and hope it won’t be too late before I figure it out the truth. I need to get a plan and trusting anyone at this moment is critical and by the way I don’t even know so many people or even close to so many people. 

I’m my own person and I hope my critical analysis is good enough cause I really need that now more than ever. Oh.My.God! I’ve been so busy in my head that I forgot to call Ferdi! And am not ready for all his questions at the moment! But I’ll call him when I'm home where there’s no one or spectators you never know who’s listening.

After settling down and having dinner, I decided to call Ferdi. He always knows what to tell me to make me feel better. And that’s why he’s my best friend. Yeah yeah I know being friends with a guy and all….but who cares though! I love him like the older brother I never had and just the thought of dating him as I hear people at work say we look great together, gives me the creeps…Urghhh! (Shaking)

He picks on the first ring like he was waiting on the phone “Oh my God Ema! What is wrong with your phone?” he answers like that’s a greeting 

“Yeah yeah and greetings to you too Feddy…..I know I know, am sorry Feddy I had a really heated conversation with Mum and I think something’s not right” I say even though I’ll prefer he be here when I am talking about it. 

“What do you mean? I don’t get it” 

“Can you come over? If you’re not busy or something” I know from the way I sound Ferdi won’t hesitate to come even if I tell not to.

“Yeah sure! I’ll just finish what I have to do another time and I know you need me more”

“Oh Ferdi…..what will I do without you!?” and before I can drop my phone, there’s a knock at the door. That was fast…..and behold, Ferdi is at the door looking as good looking as always even though he has worry lines all over his face. I let him and he pulls me in for a hug which is what I really need right now.

 After what feels like hours which were only a few minutes holding each other with him giving me just the comfort I need right now. Ferdi steps back a little, and leads me to sofa closest to the door and we take a sit while he takes my hands in his with a worried expression on his face but I don’t want worried for now, I want no, I need reason at the moment and I hope he can give it tom or help me get it.

“Ferdi I….” I can’t seem to get the words out

“Hey! Its okay, take your time and I know you didn’t sound good when you called I’ve got all night.” He says with a sad smile

Okay let me try again “Ferdi, I think my Dad was murdered and his ‘accident’ was no accident at all as the police claim it was” I said with a little emphasis on the “Accident” and his eyes went wide from my speculation in surprise and something else I couldn’t quite place

“Uh…are you sure Ema? By the way how did you come to such a conclusion or rather speculation?” he asks, still suspicious but I can see the wheels spinning in that head of his.