Chapter 4 - Astraia

The evening sun cast long shadows across the wolfsbane garden as I finally gathered my thoughts and headed back to the apartment. The day's explorations had given me a better sense of my new territory, but it had also stirred up emotions I wasn't quite ready to face.

Back in the apartment, I found Freya had left a note on the kitchen counter: "Made extra coffee this morning – it's in the blue thermos. Told you it was life-changing! Class until 6, but Chinese takeout after?"

The thoughtfulness of the gesture brought a small smile to my face. I put the thermos in the fridge for tomorrow and turned to my room, ready to truly make it my space.

Unpacking the last of my boxes, I carefully arranged my belongings. My environmental science textbooks lined the desk, along with the leather-bound territory mapping journal my father had given me – a traditional gift for Beta training. I hesitated before placing it on the shelf. It represented everything I'd lost, but also everything I'd learned. Knowledge was knowledge, regardless of the circumstances it came from.

The walls slowly came alive with carefully chosen pieces of my past. A map of pack territories that my father had annotated with traditional markings. A pressed moonflower from our pack's sacred grove. Photos of happier times – my parents, my cousins, pack gatherings where the Briarthorn rose-silver hair shimmered under the moon.

I deliberately left one wall bare. New memories, I decided. New beginnings.

My phone buzzed with another text from Lila:

"Forgot to mention – full moon next week. Pack runs are optional here, but there's a nice neutral territory route if you're interested. No pressure."

The full moon. I hadn't even thought about that yet. In Rivermoon Pack, full moons were sacred occasions, times when the entire pack ran together, strengthening bonds and celebrating our nature. The thought of running alone made my wolf whimper softly.

But I wasn't alone, not really. I had Lila, and through her, a connection to my family's legacy beyond Rivermoon Pack. I had Freya, who accepted my nature without question. And I had myself – still a Briarthorn, still carrying generations of Beta wisdom in my blood, regardless of Grant's rejection.

I opened my laptop, pulling up my class schedule for next week. Environmental Science with Professor Kane, Territory Conservation and Management, Wolf-Human Relations in Modern Society, and Advanced Biology. A full course load, but one that excited rather than daunted me.

A knock at my door interrupted my planning. Freya stood there with bags of Chinese food and a tentative smile. "Hungry? I got extra dumplings – wolf appetite and all."

"Starving, actually," I admitted, realizing I hadn't eaten since coffee with Lila.

We settled on the living room floor, spreading out the containers. Freya chatted about her day, her art history classes, and her plans for decorating the common areas. "I'm thinking fairy lights for the balcony," she mused. "Unless that's too much light for wolf eyes?"

"Actually, we see better in dim light," I found myself explaining. "Fairy lights would be perfect."

As we ate, I felt something settle in my chest. The bond pain was still there – a constant ache where Grant's rejection had torn through our mate bond – but it felt... manageable. Like a wound beginning to heal, even if it would leave a scar.

My phone lit up with one final text for the day, from my mother:

"Your room at home will always be yours, but I hope you find peace in your new space. The moon watches over all her children, no matter where they run. Love you, sweetheart."

After dinner, I helped Freya clean up, falling into an easy rhythm that felt surprisingly natural. As she headed to her room to work on an art history paper, I decided to follow another old habit – my evening meditation on the balcony.

The city lights created a different kind of starscape below, but the moon above remained constant. Three-quarters full now, her pull was getting stronger. My wolf stirred restlessly, missing the familiar territory runs of home.

I closed my eyes, following the breathing patterns my father had taught me years ago. "A Beta must be centered," he'd always said, "to help center others." The title no longer applied, but the wisdom still held true.

The evening air carried a mix of scents – human city life mingling with traces of wolf markers. I could sense at least three different pack signatures in our building alone. Stellar University really was a melting pot of wolf and human society.

Back in my room, I started my nighttime routine. The bathroom counter now held a mix of my things and Freya's – her artistic chaos somehow complementing my more ordered arrangement. I caught my reflection in the mirror, really looking at myself for the first time in weeks.

The Briarthorn features were still there – the stormy grey eyes, the distinctive rose-silver shift in my ashy brown hair. But something had changed. The girl who had been Grant's mate-to-be, the future Luna of Rivermoon Pack, was gone. In her place was someone new, someone still finding her way.

I pulled out my journal – not the territory mapping one, but a simple notebook I'd bought for this new chapter. On the first page, I began to write:

"First day at Stellar University. Met my roommate Freya – human, kind, understands more about wolf life than expected. Ran into Lila (thank the moon for family). Campus is bigger than expected, but the environmental science building feels right. Wolf politics exist here but different – more fluid, less rigid. Maybe that's what I need right now.

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Things I miss:

Pack runs

Mom's moon-phase tea

Dad's morning meditation sessions

The sacred grove

Pack bonds (but not as much as I thought I would)

Things I'm looking forward to:

Classes starting

Making this space mine

Finding my own path

Being more than just a rejected mate

Learning who I am without pack expectations

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The bond pain is still there, but different now. Less sharp, more of a dull ache. Like the difference between a fresh wound and an old scar. I wonder if it will ever fully heal. Mom says time and distance help, but she's never experienced a rejected mate bond. No one in our family has, not for generations.

But maybe that's the point. Maybe I'm meant to forge a new path, show a different way. The Briarthorn line has always been about balance – between wolf and human, tradition and progress, strength and compassion. Perhaps this is my way of continuing that legacy, just not in the way anyone expected."

A text from Freya interrupted my writing:

"Made extra coffee for tomorrow morning. Warning: highly addictive ☕"

I smiled, adding one more line to my journal: "Things I'm grateful for: unexpected friendships."

Setting my journal aside, I moved to the window seat – another feature of the room I was growing to appreciate. The moon cast silvery light across my new space, and I found myself doing something I hadn't done since the rejection: I let my wolf come closer to the surface.

Not a full shift – that would have to wait for the full moon – but enough to feel her more clearly. She'd been subdued since Grant's rejection, our internal connection muted by pain and confusion. Now, in this new territory, she stirred with cautious curiosity.

Safe? she questioned, scanning our surroundings through my eyes.

"Different," I whispered back. "But maybe that's what we need."

My phone buzzed again – a text from my father this time:

Dad: Just checked the pack bonds. Yours is still strong with family, even at a distance. Remember what I taught you about territory adaptation? Same principles apply to life changes. Analyze, adapt, advance. Rest well, little wolf.

The message brought tears to my eyes. My father, always the Beta, finding ways to teach and support even now. The three A's had been part of my training since childhood – Analyze the situation, Adapt to changes, Advance with purpose.

I pulled out the small wooden box of pack earth he'd given me, opening it to let the familiar scent ground me.

Another buzz from my phone:

Mom: Put a pinch of pack earth under your pillow tonight. Helps with the first sleep in new territory. Love you, my brave girl.

Following her advice, I carefully sprinkled a small amount of the sacred earth under my pillow. The scent immediately helped my wolf settle, memories of home and family strengthening our inner bonds.

From the living room, I could hear Freya's quiet movements as she prepared for bed. The domestic sounds were comforting in their normalcy – so different from the pack house's constant activity, but soothing in their own way.

I changed into my sleep clothes, another piece of home – one of my father's old training shirts, soft from years of wear. As I settled into bed, I found myself making a mental list for tomorrow:

___________________________________________

Morning run to further explore territory boundaries

Pick up textbooks from campus store

Meet Lila for coffee and more campus insights

Maybe try Freya's supposedly life-changing coffee

Start reading for Environmental Science

Call Mom and Dad

_________________________________________

The pack earth under my pillow released its subtle scent, and I felt my wolf finally relax completely. We were far from the only wolves making a life here at Stellar University. Far from the only ones finding our way after life changes. The thought was oddly comforting.

Just before sleep claimed me, I caught a distant howl – probably one of the local wolves marking territory. My wolf's ears perked up, but not in alarm. There was something almost promising about it, like an invitation to a future we hadn't imagined for ourselves.

"New beginnings," I murmured into the darkness, letting the moon's light wash over me. Tomorrow would bring its own challenges, but for now, in this moment, I felt something I hadn't expected: hope.

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Author's Note:

Hi Moonlings 🌙✨

I'd love to hear your thoughts:

How are you feeling about Astraia's healing journey so far?

What do you think about the little hints of pack dynamics at Stellar University?

Anyone curious about this mysterious High Crest Pack and their Alpha? 👀

Don't forget to vote and comment! Your theories and reactions absolutely make my day, and I love reading every single one. 🌙✨

Moon's blessings,

Odessa 🌙✨