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19. Rough?
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2024-10-29 19:42:56Halfway through the ninth month of their marriage, Abubakar’s determination to get get her pregnant had become all-consuming. She half suspected he would most probably hurt her if he knew she was still secretly taking birth control pills, so she hid them in one of her purses shoved back in a corner of their closet.
Convinced that the problem was her, it couldn’t possibly be him; Abubakar sent her to the doctor. She cried in the doctor’s office for an hour, telling him she felt anxious and miserable and had no idea why, and came home with a prescription for antidepressants.
“You can’t take that crap,” Abubakar said, crumpling the slip of paper and tossing it into the trash. “It might be bad for the baby.”
Their nonexistent baby. She thought guiltily of the pill she took every morning, a secret act that had become her last desperate bid for autonomy. It was difficult on the wee
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Broken Within 20. A Beast
“Where are what?” she asked, her heart kicking into overdrive, going so wild that it made her rib cage hurt. She was amazed at how calm she sounded when terror was corroding her insides like battery acid. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”How dare she play him like a fool? How dare she?! Abubakar groaned angrily. He threw an empty water glass to the floor, smashing it. And he continued to empty out drawers like a madman. “You know exactly what I’m asking.”If he found the birth control pills, he would hurt her. A strange, sickening resignation settled beneath the fear, and her pulse quieted. She was light-headed and freezing. “I’m going to get dressed,” she said, still calm, even as he broke, ripped, threw, destroyed, liquids and powders spilling, running together in oozing pastel puddles.She went to her dresser, pulled out a gown, even thou
Broken Within 21. Woe To You
Three days laterShe felt as if she were floating. Her eyes were closed, and everything about her felt soft, a luxuriating fluffiness like the satin down comforter her grandma used to have. She thought she must have been sleeping. There was a not-unpleasant heaviness to her limbs, like the time she could finally sit down after standing and walking in the market for hours.Then her brain started to focus in a peculiar sort of way, powerless over thoughts that surfaced unbiddenly. Abubakar suddenly came to mind...how he had gotten her this way, and how she longed to tell Maam, but couldn't. Maama. . .As her consciousness began to return, she tried without success to open her eyes. Something tight and sticky was holding her lids together. Now she knew she was s
Broken Within 22. Leave
The words kept echoing in her ears as she stood rooted in the same position she had been ever since she came out to the backyard.'Zeenatu, Allah ya wadaran haihuwarki!' (Woe to the day you were begotten)What had happened to make Maama so angry as to utter such words to her? Zeenah wondered as thick tears rolled out her eyes."Never in my life have I ever regretted ever doing something like how I regret being your mother right now" Maama roared angrily. One can easily notice that Maama was not in her right senses. "Me za'ayi da haihuwa irin taki, Zeenatu? (Woe to the day you were begotten) Nothing except heartache and high blood pressure? Zeenatu, what had I achieved by being your mother?""Maama..." Zeenah started in a broken voice but couldn't continue due to the high pitched cry from her mother."I seek your forgiveness Oh God. Zeenatu is part of my qadr (destiny) and I pray y
Broken Within 23. Dear Mother
The room was eerily silent after Inna made that announcement."What are you saying?" Malam Kabir said softly."I won't let you send her away like this, Malam. We can settle everything without putting blame on anyone. What would sending her away do?""At least, I won't see her face and feel like beating her to a plump all the time.""Malam, please, you need to reconsider your decision.""There is nothing to consider woman! Zeenatu has to leave this house. I no more have a daughter named Zeenatu, ever!""Then, as I said, I'll be leaving with her. We'll come back when you're calm.""The moment you step out of this house, then you're no more my wife."Zeenah's heart slammed loudly at her father's words. What had she done to her family? She was trying to destroy everything that has been built for years, years before she had been born.
Broken Within 24. Talks
It was decided that Zeenah should go live with her Uncle for some time as things settled down. Zeenah didn't like the idea, but she understood the logic behind it.Fortunately, she had no problem whatsoever staying at her uncle's. Her cousins were amazing and her siblings visit from time to time, most especially Khadija, and she speaks with Maama on the phone every day. Her dad was the only one still distant regarding what happened, but her mum had been as supportive as she could, and that had helped Zeenah in ways she couldn't have gotten through. She was in the second month of her Iddah (waiting period after a divorce), and along with it, Zeenah had been repenting.She's still yet to speak to Samirah about what had happened, though Samirah also visits from time to time, she didn't ask about what had transpired between her friend and her ex-husband. For now, what matters the most was that Zeenah was safe and alive.*
Broken Within 25. A Psychopath
For the next three months, Zeenah healed outwardly, the bruises fading, and she started going twice a week to a therapist. Having never been to a therapist before, she expected she was going to have to lie back on a sofa and talk while some impersonal white-coated professional took notes.Instead, she was welcomed into a small, cosy office with a sofa upholstered in flowered yellow twill, by a therapist who didn’t seem all that much older than her. Her name was Karima Shehu, and she was beautiful in her own way and sociable. It was a relief beyond description to unburden herself to her. She was understanding and smart, and as Zeenah described things she had felt and gone through, it seemed she had the power to unlock the mysteries of the universe.Karima said Abubakar's behaviour fit the pattern of someone with a narcissistic personality disorder, which was common for abusive husbands. As the doctor explained about the di
Broken Within 26. Never Ever
Saying she was frightened was an understatement. She was shuddering within her body, and her heart was beating hastily against her ribcage, she felt as though it would explode. Her eyes stung with tears, and she willed herself to stay strong and not shed a tear in front of him."What do you want?" She said bitingly, feeling confident when her voice didn't crack."Babe," he said softly again, as he moved close to her.Zeenah stood her ground and refused to bulge. She wouldn't give him that pleasure of seeing how scared of him she was."I've missed you," he added. "But it looks as though you're doing okay, with no thoughts about me. Can't you see how desperate I am?"The guts of this man! Zeenah thought miserably. She hissed and turned away. Staying in the same place as he suffocates her. She can't handle even seeing him for so long."Please, wait." Abubakar pleaded, but Zee
Broken Within 27. The Meeting
Zeenah's face was devoid of any emotions as she listened to her mother. "I don't understand, Maama," she finally said."I said," Maama started all over again, "what do you think of the idea of getting married, again?""Maama," Zeenah whispered brokenly, her voice shaking. "Don't do this to me, please.""I shouldn't do what?" Maama asked soothingly. "I shouldn't advise you to get married again? You think I like seeing you all broken and in pain each and every day?""Maama...""I understand you need time, but from what I understood, it won't change anything in you. It will only make you hate him more, with each passing day, you hate Abubakar more than you hated him yesterday. I can see it in your eyes, and that, my dear, is not a healthy trait.""But I don't want to get married anymore," by now, Zeenah was crying so hard, heart-wrenching tears rolled down her cheeks in folds
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Broken Within A Spinster 2
2nd May 2006Ten years later, Abuja. Nigeria."Ga Aljanin nan zuwa (the jinn is coming)" Safina whispered into the ears of her sleeping sister sakina "Get up quickly kis kis, you haven't prayed and he's going to take you away" she added.Sakinah yelped and jumped up, it was already past 11 pm and it had rained heavily that day which make it possible for everywhere to be dark.Safina and Nafisa laughed seeing the scared expression on their sister's face."Where is the jinn? Please tell it to go back I'll pray" sakinah said trembling."Well, you're praying isha very late, so it'll come over and punish you," Nafisa said smiling evilly."No!" Sakina shouted in her high pitched voice. Mama rabi quickly rushe
Broken Within A Spinster
14th August 1996.Kano, Nigeria.9:13 pmThe cold humid air of early august blows around the hospital corridor, sending shivers down the spine of those waiting along the labour ward. Three, out of the four people waiting were seated, while one of them kept pacing to and fro. An unreadable expression on his face."Bello, get yourself seated, please!" His elder brother Alhaji Sa'eed said."I can't, Brother. I can't be at ease without knowing how my wife is doing in there. She's suffering" he replied as if his puppy-like face will save his wife from what she's going through."Sit down and pray for her. That is the only solution right now, this pacing of yours is pissing me off" Alhaji Sa'eed scolded him."Fine!" Alhaji Bello said, heaving a defeated sigh as he sat down "Allah gani gareka. (I'm in your hands, Oh Lord!)" It has bee
Broken Within 73.
The next two days had been busy, and Zeenah spent them smiling all through like a loon. It was something she had never imagined was ever possible, her finding true love was nothing she had ever thought of, but she did, and she was going to relish in the thought. She recalled the teasing smile on Baba's face when she had told him that she would go back to AbdulRasheed in three days time. Baba's face lighted up with sheer joy, and she had recalled him asking her if there was anything she needs.Maama was also not left behind. She had raced to the room when Baba had told her and had asked Zeenah if that was true. Zeenah had ducked her head down and nodded in response."Alhamdulillah (to God be the glory)," Maama had said "I'm so happy that you've finally decided to give your love a chance, Zeenatu. May Allah continue to bless you in folds, and may you always and forever be happy, beautiful."She had wiped the lone
Broken Within 72.
For the next two months, Zeenah had avoided everything that might possibly link her to AbdulRasheed. Not even when he calls does she picks, nor does she replies his endless text messages. But what annoyed her the most was that, despite what she thought that if she avoids AbdulRasheed, she would be able to forget everything and be happy, that didn't happen. Each time she lay back on the bed to sleep, she kept remembering their happy moments and wondered what would happen if they were still together.She remembered the constant nagging, begging and all from Samirah not to let go of AbdulRasheed, but nothing Samirah had said then had made her changed her mind. And even now, as she remembered everything, she would've still chosen for AbdulRasheed to set her free from all.AbdulRasheed, as strong-headed as she had always known him to be had refused to let her go. He promised to hold onto her for as long as she needs, he'll be waiting, with open
Broken Within 71.
For the next two months, Zeenah had avoided everything that might possibly link her to AbdulRasheed. Not even when he calls does she picks, nor does she replies his endless text messages. But what annoyed her the most was that, despite what she thought that if she avoids AbdulRasheed, she would be able to forget everything and be happy, that didn't happen. Each time she lay back on the bed to sleep, she kept remembering their happy moments and wondered what would happen if they were still together.She remembered the constant nagging, begging and all from Samirah not to let go of AbdulRasheed, but nothing Samirah had said then had made her changed her mind. And even now, as she remembered everything, she would've still chosen for AbdulRasheed to set her free from all.AbdulRasheed, as strong-headed as she had always known him to be had refused to let her go. He promised to hold onto her for as long as she needs, he'll be waiting, with open
Broken Within 70.
Two days laterShe tried to open her eyes, but it felt as though they've been glued by something. She tried again but quickly shut them back as soon as she had opened them because of the blinding lights from the light bulbs in the room. The next time she tried, she was able to squint her eyes a little to adjust to the blinding lights. However, the first thing that caught her attention was the white Celine and the white walls surrounding her. Was she dead already? Perhaps, she might already be in heaven. God, what a life she had had to live to have died that way.She turned her head a little, and that was when she saw someone sitting right beside her. From all indications, it was a man, because the curly hair was bent right towards her, enough to want to make her move her hand and run them through the hair. A sigh escaped her lips when she finally realized who was sitting there.At the sound of her sigh, AbdulRashe
Broken Within 69.
AbdulRasheed surveyed the house once more before he moved toward it slowly. This was the house he had met Aliyah the night Zeenah had been kidnapped. He had called her number and was lucky that it went through and she picked up, telling him to come to meet her there if he wants to get his wife back.AbdulRasheed didn't waver, however, he had told Bashir to come along but stay hidden. He hooped out of the car and turned discreetly to check up on Bashir, who had parked some few meters away from the house. He had no idea why Aliya had told him to come over, but whatever it is, he was going to see the end of it today.He thumped on the door and waited for some minutes before the door was yanked open. Aliya stood by the door, dressed in a mint green fitted gown. Even her breasts were showing, despite knowing the consequences of her actions, it seemed as though all that didn't bother Aliya one bit. "Hello, handsome. Look, I'm wearing your favour
Broken Within 68.
The room was dark, and there was an unbearable stench to it. She moved a little, and the rope which held her hands tightly behind the chair squeezed more tightly. She groaned and yelled angrily and felt like yanking so hard at her hands, maybe, just maybe she'll set them free and remove the blindfold from her eyes. The only time she wasn't blindfolded or tied to a chair was when she was being fed. The first day she had been brought, Zeenah refused to eat everything she was given. But by the second day, when she realized that she needed to eat to survive, she began eating, while the large hulk man stands beside her, his hands folded across his chest.She was still yet to see any face apart from his. She tried so hard to think of any reason why someone will decide to kidnap her but couldn't. Nothing actually makes any sense to her no matter how hard she tried. The only other time she had felt a presence, was when she was snapped. She knew she had been snapped beca
Broken Within 67.
Three days later.Three days and six hours later, Zeenah was still yet to be found, and nothing has been heard from her. Despite how hard AbdulRasheed had tried, he couldn't hold it in anymore. So, he did the only reasonable thing that came to his mind. He went home and told his parents about the situation. His father had been furious that he took that long to tell them what had been happening. Worse of all was Maama's reaction after telling that Zeenah was missing.If Bashir hadn't forced him to, AbdulRasheed wouldn't have told his parents or Zeenah's parents about her disappearance. He had had a firm belief that Zeenah had run off away from him, not that something happened like they were all insisting.But, what if something had really happened to her?"Let's go to the police station," AbdulRasheed's father had announced the second day they couldn't get a hold of Zeenah. "We can't wait here when we
