Why me?

WINTER'S POV

FOUR MONTHS LATER

The door to my room creaked open and closed, signalling the arrival of familiar scents. My mother and Lisa had entered. Without even looking or opening my eyes, I recognised them.

"Has she even left this spot?" My mother's voice filled the room with concern. "And the stench in here...goodness, it's overwhelming!"

"I've tried everything to get her up, but all she does is snap at me," Lisa murmured. "That's why I called you. I don't know how else to reach her, and she hasn't been eating properly either."

"She hasn't?" My mother's voice echoed, drawing closer to me.

The bed sank as my mother sat down, her warm hands tenderly touching my face. Clutching my robe tightly, I bit my lip to suppress my trembling.

"You can't bring him back," my mother whispered. "He's been gone for four months. You need to find a way to let go."

Shaking my head, I groaned as she attempted to pry open my eyes. "No, Mother, you know better than to say that to me."

"I do know better, and I want to help you, Winter. This isn't the person you used to be. Don't you think it's time to release yourself from this pain? You're carrying a child, but it seems like you want to end it all because I can sense it's consuming you..."

"I am already dead; I died the moment he did," I whispered, clutching his keepsake tighter. Raising it to my nose, I took a deep breath, cherishing the lingering scent of Slade until my lungs could no longer bear the strain.

I gasped, tears streaming down my face as my body trembled. "Why me?"

Glancing at my mother's worried expression, I continued, "Why me? It feels as if the goddess despises me for subjecting me to this."

"I'm sorry, Winter," my mother said, sitting beside me. "I wish I could offer you solace..."

"You can't," I replied, my heart constricting. A soft gasp escaped my lips as I felt a gentle fluttering at my side. I let out a bitter laugh as I witnessed the movement the baby had caused in my stomach.

I was four months pregnant, longing for Slade to be by my side, cherishing every moment and feeling our baby's first kick. But he was gone, buried... and I couldn't shake the sense of betrayal and the surge of anger, even though I knew he would never return.

"Can you at least freshen up and join us for a meal, or perhaps take a walk outside?" my mother pleaded. Just then, the door swung open to reveal Linda.

She stared at me a little longer than necessary before making her way towards me. "I've prepared a warm bath," she said, sitting close. Taking my hand in hers, she squeezed gently and took a deep breath. "Jasmin will help you get ready, and I'll bring your food over."

Her gaze challenged me to object, but I remained silent. I had nothing to say, and when I glanced at my mother, I could see a triumphant look on her face.

Since the funeral, Linda had decided to stay longer than expected, despite my insistence that it wasn't necessary. She brushed off my concerns, believing I might harm myself, just as my mother had thought.

In truth, they weren't entirely wrong. I had contemplated ending it all many times. The thought of overdosing to be with Slade and escape the pain had crossed my mind. I yearned to see him, to weep in his arms, to scold him for leaving me in this wretched state, and to curse him. But each time I stared at the pills hidden beneath my dress at the top of the wardrobe, something changed within me.

Slade would never want me to do anything to harm our baby. He would never want me to hurt myself, either. Yet, he left me no choice. He made me a widow. He tore me apart, reducing me to a sobbing wreck.

"I'll be right back," Linda said, and I nodded weakly.

Dragging myself out of bed, I winced as I caught a whiff of the odour emanating from my body. While it wasn't terrible, it certainly wasn't the fragrance befitting a Luna Queen. Then again, perhaps no one would judge me considering what I had been through. But deep down, I doubted there wouldn't be judgmental eyes following me everywhere.

Slowly peeling off the dress from my body, I caressed my bump once wholly naked. Stepping towards the large floor-length mirror, I gazed at my reflection momentarily and winced again. I could understand why my mother was upset with me. I didn't look good—there was no denying it. I appeared like a total mess, as though I had been dragged through the mud and deprived of nourishment. My eyes were sunken and had dark circles, and I looked paler than normal.

Biting my trembling lower lip, I clenched the vanity table tightly with my hands.

"It's not my fault I look like this," I muttered as my mother approached me. "I never made this deal with the goddess."

I choked on a sob as tears streamed down my cheeks. Blinking away the tears, my mother touched my shoulder and turned me to face her.

"It's not your fault, darling," she said softly. "But you need to trust the goddess."

"Trust?" I scoffed, unable to control my frustration.

"She knows what she's doing, and I'm sure she'll give you a second chance, mate, soon. Trust..."

"I hate the goddess!" I yelled, my voice resonating through the room.

My mother flinched, perhaps startled by the volume, but I didn't care. Nothing could stop me from voicing what I wanted to say.

"I placed my utmost trust in the moon goddess, and she repaid me with cruelty! She caused all of this, and now you want me to trust her again? If that's not insanity, then what is?"

"Winter," my mother mumbled, but I shook my head.

"The goddess failed me. She failed Slade!" I wiped away the angry tears that were now flowing in torrents. "Most importantly, she failed the Moonstone Pack members!"

With that, I stormed into the bathroom, unable to contain my rage. Sliding down the rough wall, I covered my face with my hands and let out an ear-splitting shriek. "Why me?"