The woman who saved my Katy from the streets and accepted me for me. She had helped me find the man inside me who could love, and she entrusted her most beloved daughter into my care. I had adored her, grieving hard when she died. It was she who brought Katy and me together. I had sworn to her I would make sure Katy was looked after and loved.I had failed her today as well. I knew if she were here, she would shake her head in sorrow and turn away. She would be horrified at my temper and actions. Disgusted by the way I ranted at Katy and my girls.She’d leave me on the floor where I belonged.I shut my eyes so I didn’t have to see her looking down at me. I must have fallen into an exhausted sleep.I startled awake, snapping up my head. The room was dark, the only light coming from those twinkling around the pool in the backyard, their glow flickering on the wide windows in my den. Another noise alerted me to the fact that I wasn’t alone in the house anymore.I remembered Katy had adde
16RICHARDI spent a restless night, finally dozing off at dawn. I woke up to sounds of things being moved and Aiden’s booming voice downstairs directingwhatever was happening below me.I pulled myself up, glancing at the empty spot beside me. I had never slept in this room alone until last night. When Katy gave birth to each of the girls, I had stayed the night with her at the hospital, and she had never been away. I didn’t like waking up without her. The sheets were cold and empty, echoing the feeling in my chest. I ran my hand over her pillow and held it to my face, inhaling deeply. I could smell her fragrance deep in the fibers, which increased my longing for her. I reached for my phone and stared at it, my fingers hovering over the screen.I had no idea what to say to Katy. I knew I needed to apologize and to tell her what was going on, but after the way I spoke to her yesterday and the look of devastation on her face, I knew it wasn’t enough. My words and actions had cut deep—n
17RICHARDAll my days became the same. Strengthening, stretching, weights. I worked until sweat poured down my back and exhaustion set in. Iwas grateful to be dumped in the pool, the cool liquid surrounding me. I was weightless suspended in the water and, for that brief period, almost felt normal.“Randy is here in an hour. I’ve booked you a massage after that,” Aiden informed me.“Do I really need one?”He nodded. “I’ve been working you hard. You need some deep tissue work and frankly, Richard, I’d rather not do it.”I chuckled. “Me too, Aiden. You already have your hands on me enough.”He snickered, and for a few moments, I floated blissfully. “Holy fuck, it’s working.” Maddox said.“Told you.”I looked between them. “What are you talking about?” “Look down. Your feet are moving.”I ducked my head and peered into the water. It was more of a twitch, but my feet did move.“Holy fuck,” I repeated Maddox’s words. “I’m not consciously doing that.”“They’re waking up.” Aiden met my incr
18KATYRichard lifted his face from my neck, his eyes red, his cheeks damp. I had never witnessed him break down that way. The rare occasionswhen he cried, he still held himself in check, his pride unable to allow even me to fully see his pain.I grabbed the tissues Aiden had dropped beside us and wiped Richard’s face, cupping his cheeks.“Hey,” I whispered, looking up at him from where I crouched between his legs.“I guess I lost the last piece of my man card with that display,” he mumbled.“I doubt it. Aiden was openly weeping before you even finished walking, and Maddox had to leave the room.”He frowned in confusion. “Why?”“They’re as proud of you as I am, Richard.” “Where are they?”“Aiden made sure you were back in your chair, and they left. I heard the car driving away, so I assumed they left to give us some privacy.”He looked down, surprised. “I have no recollection of being moved.” I softened my voice. “You were pretty emotional.”“Katy, I have so much to say. So many thi
I lifted Heather out of the tub, dried her off, and got her ready for bed. I sat in the rocking chair, holding her close. She still liked a bottle at night, and although it was water, it was a time I always cherished. Her hazel eyes, so like Richard’s, grew heavy, her long lashes resting on her cheeks as slumber pulled her under. I stroked her soft skin, marveling at her. I stared at her for a few moments, then stood and carefully laid her in bed, tucking a light blanket around her and making sure her favorite bunny was close.I headed to our room and stopped in the doorway, a smile lighting my face. Richard was asleep, his head resting against the headboard, his snore low and steady. Gracie was curled up on his chest, her little arm flung over him, barely reaching midway. She was spread across the bed in her usual starfish position. The book they’d been reading was on the floor. I slipped my phone from my pocket and snapped a picture, wanting to capture the sweet memory to show Richa
19RICHARDThe taste and feel of my wife chased away the last lingering remnants of my dream. Katy wasn’t walking away. She was right here, withme, in my arms.Right where she should be.I kissed her deeply, seeking out her tongue with mine, stroking hard and deep. Reclaiming her mouth. Reclaiming her. I yanked her tight to my chest, pulling off the towel she had draped around her body. I pushed down the blanket that covered me, needing to feel her. I dragged her over my lap, groaning at the feel of her weight pressing down on me. Still kissing her, I slid my hands over her silken thighs, parting them and settling her so she straddled me.She pulled back, gasping. “Is this okay?”“Fucking yes, it’s okay.” I pressed my mouth to her neck, licking up the damp, elegant column of her throat. “It’s fucking perfect.”I grazed my fingers over the scar on her thigh, remembering how I discovered it. Discovered her. Fell in love with her. I was doing it all over again.“We both have scars now,”
20RICHARDGraham arrived, Laura with him, shortly before four. Katy was greeting them as I rolled around the corner. We regarded one anotherin silence as they hugged her and Gracie, and Laura inquired about Heather. I moved the chair forward and extended my hand.“Graham.”He shook my hand, his grip firm. Laura leaned down and brushed my cheek with her lips.“You are looking well.” “I feel well.”Katy laid her hand on my shoulder and squeezed. Reaching up, I grasped it like a lifeline.“I made coffee,” she said.“We bake cookies!” Gracie exclaimed, tugging on Laura’s hand. “Come, Nana L, come hab cookies!”Laura hesitated, and I smiled grimly. “I’d like a moment with Graham alone if that’s okay. Maybe you can visit with the girls for a while and join us?” I sighed. “I have something I’d like to say to you as well, Laura.”She crossed her arms. “So do I.”Graham followed me to the back of the house. He stopped in the family room, looking at the equipment.“Impressive,” he said. He wa
He drew in a deep breath. “I don’t know if I can ever drive again. I have trouble getting in a car.”“I know that feeling. I get stressed too. But I’m working through it with Randy. Come back, and we’ll work on it together.”“Yeah?” He sounded dubious.“Yes. Your uncle wants you back, and so do I.” I was surprised to realize I was telling the truth.He sighed, the sound deep and filled with pain.“Don’t let that guy’s bad choices dictate your life, Brad. Don’t do it.You’ll regret it one day.”“Okay. The cast comes off next week. I’ll talk to Graham about coming back.”“Good man.”“Can I come see you?”“I’d be disappointed if you didn’t. Gracie would be too.” “I like her. She’s a cute kid. Smart as a whip.”I grinned into the phone.“Of course she is. She’s mine.”looked at the piece of equipment in front of me with thinly disguised disgust. I pushed it away.“Walkers are for old people.”“Or people recovering from spinal injuries,” Colin retorted calmly, pushing the offending walker
A my pulled off a miracle and, in ten minutes, had chocolate milk and a donut for Gracie. She sat with her, stitching her skirt as I changed into another suit, grateful my shirt had been spared the splatter. I sat down, sipping my coffee in appreciation. It was rare Amy brought me a cup, so when she did, I enjoyed it. I looked at the schedule. “Can we switch any of this?”“I already changed what I could. I have explained to the clients, and they are fine for a more casual meeting in your office.”I scrubbed my chin, realizing I hadn’t shaved today. “Okay. I’ll do my best. Can Gracie sit with you for a bit?”She shook her head. “Today is the training on the new software, Richard. If I miss it again, I won’t get another chance. I’ll only be gone two hours. I’m sure everything will be fine.”“Anyone else kid-friendly?”Again, she shook her head. “We’re all scheduled. And we’re already short. We’re swamped.”“I’ll be good, Daddy,” Gracie said, slipping off the sofa and twirling. Her skirt
TAKE YOUR DAUGHTER TO WORK DAYRICHARDI sat down next to Katy, chuckling as she moved her coffee cup out of my reach. Or at least thought she did. I leaned over and nuzzled her neck.“You smell so good, my Katy,” I murmured, darting my tongue out to taste her.She shivered, and I reached across her, grabbing her cup and sitting back in my chair, triumphant. I took a long, appreciative sip. “Ah, delicious.”She huffed out an annoyed breath. “There is a full pot, Richard. Why do you always have to steal mine?”“It tastes better. I keep telling you that.” “It’s the same coffee!”I shook my head. “Your lips touched the mug, my wife. It’s far sweeter.” Her annoyance turned into amusement.“You think you can sweet-talk me?”I tilted my head, studying her. “Isn’t it working?”She began to laugh. “Such a cheeseball.” She chuffed Heather under the chin, smiling as our baby kicked her feet against the high chair. “Your daddy is such a cheeseball.”“An incredibly good-looking, sexy cheeseball,
ASHLEYRichard—Dad—peeked out into the room where Luc and I would exchange our vows. The space was decorated with flowers and pine, the scent filling the air. I hadn’t wanted an over-the-top Christmas theme, but I went with gold, ivory, and burgundy and some fir and evergreen to add to the mix.He returned to my side and tucked my arm through the crook of his. He patted my hand in comfort. “Luc is there. Pacing like a lion.”I chuckled. “He does that when he’s anxious and there isn’t a keyboard around to work on.”He nodded in understanding. “He’s waiting for you.” “I hope he’s not disappointed,” I admitted.He gaped at me. “How can you say that, Ashley? You’re absolutely gorgeous. You took my breath away.”I smiled, feeling self-conscious. “I like simple things,” I admitted. “Clean lines, not a lot of fuss. My dress is pretty plain in comparison to some.”“I like your style. It’s classic and beautiful. It suits you, and you look exquisite. He is going to be blown away.”I felt my che
RICHARDI straightened my tie, glancing in the mirror. My cowlick was acting up today, and I ran my fingers through my hair repeatedly, trying to tamp itdown. I had no idea why I was feeling so nervous—I had done this before and knew my part. Walk her down the aisle, say a few words, then sit beside Katy.But today felt different. As if I had finally finished a long walk and could rest.The door opened, and Katy slipped out, smiling. She walked toward me, lovely in a green dress, her hair swept up. Her dress was longer than usual, but there was a slit on one side that showed off her shapely leg as she walked. I loved her legs.I held out my hand. “You look stunning, sweetheart.”She smiled. “Wait until you see Ashley, Richard. She is so beautiful, it’s beyond words.”“Is she okay?”“Nervous,” she replied, laughing lightly. “Worried Luc won’t show.”I joined in her amusement. “He’s been champing at the bit all day. We could barely get him to eat or concentrate on the game. They’re bot
EPILOGUEA FEW MONTHS LATERASHLEYM y phone rang, and I smiled as I picked it up. “Luc,” I answered. “Hello.”“Hey, love. Listen, I got invited to a dinner on Friday. I checked your schedule, and you have no events. Will you come with me?”“Of course,” I replied. “Where is it?”He chuckled. “Of all places, the winery.”I laughed with him. “Shoreline? Great.” I loved that place.“Actually, they had some extra spots, so I asked Heather and Reed as well. It’ll make it more fun.”“Sounds good.”“It’s semiformal, so I need a suit, and you need a pretty dress.”“Pretty sure I’ve got that covered,” I said dryly, thinking of the closet at home with all the dresses I used when I worked events.“I kinda want to treat you to a new one.” “Luc,” I scolded. “I have plenty.”“I might have already bought you one. I saw it when I was out to lunch, and it just looked like you. You’ll wear it for me, right?” He paused. “Please?”I couldn’t say no to this man. Ever. “Yes, I’ll wear it for you.”“Perfect
Matthew shook his head. “Not my fault Mom and Dad kept having kids until they got one they liked. Me. You notice they finally stopped. Deal with it.”Everyone chuckled, but I felt the flicker of worry. “I’m not trying to—”Matthew waved his hand. “It’s inevitable. You’re new. You’re going to find all of Dad’s stupid jokes funny. All of his old ad stories fascinating. His anecdotes clever. You’re fresh meat.” He patted me on the arm. “It’ll wear off. Soon, you’ll find him as boring as we do. You’ll fall in rank too.”Richard sputtered. “I’m not boring. Your mother doesn’t find me boring, do you, Katy?”Katy looked at me with a not-so-subtle wink. “Never.”“You laugh at my jokes! You love my stories!” he protested, looking aghast.Matthew snorted. “It’s habit, Dad. Face it. Boring. I’m telling you—you’re not all that and a bag of potato chips.”I tried not to laugh at Richard’s expression. Jaxson was smirking, trying to hide his amusement. Reed was shoveling eggs into his mouth like a s
32ASHLEYK aty and Richard left not long afterward, making me promise to call if I changed my mind. Richard wasn’t happy about leaving, and his genuineconcern touched my heart. It felt nice to be worried about by a parental figure.It felt nice not to hate him.I sat on the sofa, rereading my mother’s letter. Richard had left his envelope behind, and after a while, I slipped both letters into the manila envelope and put them back where I found them. I would replace the glass for the picture tomorrow and return it to my nightstand. The letters belonged with the pictures. They showed me growing up with my mom, and her story was connected to those pictures. I would keep them together.Luc called when he took a break, his voice concerned when I answered. “Ashley, love, you called? Is everything okay?”“I’m fine,” I assured him, then told him everything that had transpired.“Holy shit,” he muttered a few times during my explanation, otherwise remaining silent and letting me talk.When I
3 1ASHLEYT hey arrived in record time, both looking concerned. I had read my mom’s entire letter, often crying at points, feeling her fear, her regret,and her love in the words. She said so many things to me in the letter that she had felt yet never expressed. She regretted that and begged me never to do the same thing.If you love someone, tell them. If you have things to share, say them. Don’t live with regrets. Don’t make my mistakes. I loved you so much and never told you enough. Never showed you enough. That was how I was raised, and I should have done it differently.She had done it differently. I always knew I was loved, although I had always longed for more hugs and kisses. More cuddles and bedtime stories. I never knew how deeply her feelings ran. I always wondered if she regretted having me. Her letter had laid that to rest. She raised me the only way she knew how, although I suspected she showed me more affection than her parents had shown her. She had struggled daily to
30ASHLEYA couple of days later, I looked around at the few unpacked boxes Luc had brought over before he’d left on his business trip. His clothes nowhung in the closet, his T-shirts and underwear in the dresser Joyce had left behind and we had moved into my—our—bedroom. He hadn’t brought any furniture, laughing and shaking his head as he assured me none of it was salvageable after the years of him and his wild roommates abusing it.“We’ll pick out some new pieces together when we’re ready.”Joyce had left her few pieces of furniture behind, taking only her clothes and personal items. I had offered to buy them, but she refused, saying she was happy to know they were being used and to consider them a gift. So, the spare room was now a guest room, and I didn’t have to replace the side tables or the TV stand. The sofa and chair, I had purchased, as well as the TV, so it was an easy transition for everyone.It was hard saying goodbye to her, but she was so excited, I couldn’t be sad. Th